Over 35 and Pregnant

By Andrea Purcell

Wishing that you had a doctor and a smart girlfriend on speed dial to guide you through and ups and downs of pregnancy? Well, now you do.
Dr. Andrea Purcell had an epiphany one evening. Four months pregnant, she sat sobbing at the dinner table with blood dripping from her nose onto her dinner plate. She thought, Pregnancy is so hard. Why doesnt anyone talk about what its really like? And why is everyone more concerned about my baby than me? In that moment, she decided to write what she wished her friends and colleagues would have told her: the complete story of what its like to be over 35 and pregnant.
In Over 35 and Pregnant, the lively and compelling story of her pregnancy, Dr. Purcell talks readers through doctors visits, midwife appointments, ultrasounds, doula interviews, and breastfeeding tips. Dr. Purcells book is full of helpful advice for holistic self-care that includes supplement recommendations, alleviation of pregnancy complaints, and even steps on how to turn a breech baby. Most importantly Dr. Purcell speaks directly to the mom-to-be and gives pointers on self-care, sleep, managing stress, and achieving balance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504365260

Andrea Purcell

Dr. Andrea Purcell is a trusted and well-respected naturopathic health care provider who has been in private practice for more than fifteen years. Recognized as a knowledgeable expert on womens health, hormones, digestion, and weight concerns, Dr. Purcell regularly appears on radio and television news stations to comment on health. Educating women about their health and empowering them to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives is at the core of Dr. Purcells naturopathic practice.

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Copyright © 2016 Andrea Purcell NMD.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6515-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6516-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6526-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016914291

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/18/2017

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Decision to Become a Mother

A New Year’s Resolution Changed My Life

Me, Before Pregnancy

My Medical History

Quick Tip: Safe Herbs in Pregnancy

Mature Mamas

Quick Tip: Progesterone

The Over 35 Facts

Chapter 2: Game On! The First Trimester

Week 6: Full of Optimism

Quick Tip: Vitamins During Pregnancy

Week 7: Reality Check

Quick Tip: Meeting the Prenatal Requirements

Week 8: Blood Sugar Blitz

Week 9: Too Much Spit

Phone a Friend

Sexual Myths of Pregnancy

Week 10: Pizza Week

Week 11: Wardrobe Malfunctions

Homeopathy Quick Tip: Nausea and Vomiting

My First Midwife Appointment

Ultrasound—Delivered!

Quick Tip: Schedule of Prenatal Blood Work, Cultures, and Genetic Testing

Week 12: Feel the Burn!

Week 13: Can You Feel Me Now?

Quick Tip: Pregnancy Books, Classes, and DVDs

Chapter 3: The Second Trimester: Part I: Weeks 14 Through 21

Week 14: Is It Hot in Here?

My First MD Appointment

Week 16: Bee-Ware

Quick Tip: Hydration

Week 17: Asi es la Vida

Week 18: Marathon Day of Maternity Shopping

Week 19: Vacation!

Week 20: Introducing Pubic Pain

Quick Tip: Constipation

Bring on the Muscle Cramps

Hello, Klutzy

Ultrasound Talk

Week 21: The Week of the Blues

Quick Tip: Belly Support

A Juicy Yoni

Chapter 4: The Second Trimester: Part II: Weeks 22 through 27

Week 22: Waddle On

Stretch Marks

Quick Tip: Anemia

Week 23: Interviewing Doulas

Quick Tip: Doulas

Week 23: GERD

Quick Tip: Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease

A Pain in the Pubic Bone

Week 24: Websites and Worries

Hair, Nails, and More

A Little Compassion Please

More Pillows Please

Week 25: Ice Cream Week

Bring Back the Kale!

It Takes a Village

Prenatal Yoga

Week 26: Contact!

Surprise!

Advice from Dads

Week 27: Feeling Punchy

Quick Tip: Glucola and the Test for Gestational Diabetes

Chapter 5: The Third Trimester: Part I: Weeks 28 through 33

Week 28: Baby Wearing

Quick Tip: Placenta Encapsulation

Back Pain Blues

Week 30: Appointments Galore

Week 31: Baby Shower

Week 32: Massage

Week 33: Are You Excited?

Bladder Leakage

Sleep Deprivation

Chapter 6: Third Trimester: Part II: Weeks 34 through 40

Week 34: The Final Countdown

Turning a Breech Baby

Quick Tip: Body Swelling

Quick Tip: External Version

Week 35: Life in a Tea Cup

Braxton-Oh My-Hicks

Week 36: Preparation for Labor

Quick Tip: Preparation for Labor

Week 37: Birth Plan

Quick Tip: Birth Preferences

The Best Pregnancy Advice

Week 38: Final Work Week

Week 39: Passing the Time

Week 40: Fully Cooked

Quick Tip: Plan Ahead for Postpartum Care

Chapter 7: It’s My Birth Day

Labor at Last

Hospital Room 101

Quick Tip: Anesthesia during C-Sections

Day Two

Urination

Day Three

Quick Tip: Leg Swelling

Help! Constipation

Cleansing Showers

Hospital Snacks

Discharge Day

Chapter 8: Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding Support

Nipple Cream

Quick Tip: Cracked Nipples

Remember to Eat

Nursing Gear

Common Breastfeeding Snags for Moms

Common Breastfeeding Snags for Baby

Quick Tip: Homeopathic Remedies for Breastfeeding

Quick Tip: Reducing Your Breast Milk Supply

Chapter 9: Life After Birth

Family

The Six-Week Checkup

A Note About Sleep

Sex after Birth

Quick Tip: Medical and Insider Information about Sex Before and After Birth

Quick Tip: Lubricants and Moisturizers

I Do More! NO I Do More!

Stress Postpartum

A Chiropractor Is a New Mom’s Best Friend

Postpartum Hair Loss

D Is for Depletion!

T Is for Timing

My Big Reveal

Quick Tip: Adrenal Fatigue

Send This Baby Back and Other Random Comments

Away at Last

The Double-Edged Sword of Motherhood

Sweet Sleep

I dedicate this book to every mother:

To the mothers of the past, the mothers of the present, and the mothers-to-be,

may you connect with the powerful light that burns within.

I have such admiration for your incredible courage and strength to bring new life into the world.

You have within you something powerful, something magical, something beautiful.

The life and light within me honors the very same within you.

Namaste

INTRODUCTION

It makes sense that the mothers who have gone before share their stories with the mothers-to-be. It’s only through the walk of motherhood that we experience what it means to be a mother, and so it is through the motherhood experience from which the lessons emerge. At times, it can truly seem like baptism by fire. The lessons that each of us must learn may differ, but they all contain a similar vibe. For the most part, these lessons stretch us, they evoke emotions, they challenge the woman we’re becoming, and they ultimately expand our hearts. The value of stories of our deeply personal expansive growth cannot be underestimated. Through the story, we realize that others who have gone before us felt compelled to write it all down—either through desperation or great courage. It’s through story that we realize we’re not alone. Finally, it’s through story that we’re able to see the humor and lightness in situations that once seemed so dang difficult and depressing.

I started writing for my own sanity during my pregnancy. Writing helped settle my internal confusion, fear, and desperation on those days when nothing else could—not even a bucket of ice cream. My sincere hope is that my story will help you. Writing it certainly helped me on those days when I just didn’t know to whom or where to turn.

Although no two stories are alike, my story will most likely intersect with and shine into parts of yours at different points along your journey. My hope is for it to bring knowledge, laughter, and a second opinion at the times when you need them the most.

There’s a Water Wall by Jeff Low inside Honor Health Hospital at 92nd and Shea in Scottsdale, Arizona, that captures everything we are as women. I want you to know your power, so I’ve re-created it here for you.

Mother

Giving

Serene

Courageous

Gentle

Empowering

Daughter

Nurturing

Strong

Sister

Spiritual

Compassionate

Enduring

Conscientious

Wife

Friend

Partner

Woman

CHAPTER 1

THE DECISION TO BECOME A MOTHER

For most of my adult life, I never dreamed about getting pregnant or becoming a mother. In my competitive mind, mothering and stay-at-home moms were weak. The breadwinners were more educated, professional, worldlier, and just better. Somehow this distorted view of motherhood took hold during my formative years. As a young girl, I identified with my father, and my definition of success became tied to the values that he held strong.

In my nuclear family, the words marriage, babies, and grandchildren, were never mentioned. The emphasis was placed on independence, education, and financial stability.

Those were the ideals that I strove for. I became a perfectionistic achiever, overly responsible, highly-educated, and defined by my career.

When I was around 35, I realized that at the end of the day, after all the work was done, I was alone. Did I want to be alone? Did I want to find my special person? Did I want love and family? Who was I without my career and my patients? I had friends, really great ones. I got to thinking about whose life I was living and whose dream I was chasing. That’s when things started to go a little sideways and change course for me.

As a result of the breakup of my nuclear family from my parent’s divorce, I had many heart wounds. I was scared of love. Love was a nebulous feeling that left one vulnerable. I associated that scary kind of vulnerable with being a stay-at-home mom who relied on somebody else’s paycheck.

This was all deep programming that I had taken on as a result of my family’s dynamic. In the way I was wired, I was more of a male stuck in a female’s body than a female. The truth is, I was completely out of balance.

I learned that women have two very unique powers. If we learn to channel them appropriately, we have the world at our feet. I’m not a master of them myself, but at least I now know they exist.

These powers are our masculine and our feminine energies. Every woman needs both to operate to her highest potential.

A New Year’s Resolution Changed My Life

I made a New Year’s resolution to learn how to salsa dance. I learned about balancing my masculine and feminine energies through dance. That’s right: My decision to dance changed my life.

I was drawn to Latin dance—specifically salsa dancing. Salsa requires that the man leads, and the woman follows. That was hard for me. I was a leader, and I wanted to lead, but that wasn’t going to help me on the dance floor, and it wasn’t working out so great in my personal life either. Many men were downright scared of me. Through salsa, I learned how to follow the man’s lead. I learned how to move my body to the rhythm and ultimately release a lot of my old fears through the movements. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to become a dancer or at least be able to hold my own on a Los Angeles dance floor. I also took ladies styling boot camps. I learned how to fall with grace and to wait there patiently for my partner to pick me up with grace.

I also learned how to walk. That’s right, walk. Apparently, before salsa, I was marching everywhere like Speedy Gonzales. Most importantly, I learned how to follow. A woman who teaches beginner salsa dancing around the world calls herself Ede the Salsa Freak. She said something in one of her classes that always stuck with me, The man leads the lady around holding the picture frame, but she is the true piece of art, the beautiful picture. In that moment, I saw the true power of stepping into the woman’s role, the importance of letting the man be the man. For that, I’ll be forever grateful.

I don’t want to bore you with my entire transformation from scary independent woman to married woman floating on a cloud in love. I’m married to a wonderful man, who shows me each day how strong the bonds of love truly are. I’m blessed. Believe me, it took years of transformation, months of therapy, and many hours of salsa dancing for me to get to this place. But it was all worth it.

Interestingly, it was all worth it is what my mom-friends say about pregnancy. While I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure I believed them. Whether or not it was all worth it remained to be seen.

My husband was born to be a father. He would have seven children if he could. But he chose me, and I got pregnant for the first time at age 39, so he started a little late for that. I told him he should have married a younger woman, but he seems content. Hopefully he’ll be satisfied with just one child, because I can’t ever see myself going through pregnancy again.

After I met my husband, I imagined returning to Arizona to have our baby. In Arizona, naturopathic doctors can practice as midwives—with additional training, of course—and a home birth is entirely possible. A home birth was ideal for me because I figured I could grunt and groan as loud as I want without feeling even the tiniest bit of embarrassment. Plus, the potential for unnecessary medical intervention is completely eliminated. At home, I wouldn’t have to fight, argue, or cry with any authority figure over what would or wouldn’t happen to our baby or me. In the case of an emergency, I could be transported to the nearest hospital for care.

Me, Before Pregnancy

For my entire career as a naturopathic doctor, I’ve treated women between the ages of 35 and 70. I specialize in women’s hormonal balance, weight issues, unexplained mystery illnesses, and digestive disorders. Yes, I’ve treated some children and men, but my patients have mostly been women. I wasn’t attracted to pediatrics, maybe in part because I never saw myself as a mother.

Educated, more mature women have always been drawn to me. I strongly believe in educating my patients. I can teach mature, educated women about their health, and they value it. I’ve helped many women become pregnant and manage the life-altering symptoms of pregnancy.

My passion has always been women. This is because women are complicated and need to be treated as a complete package. Women make decisions for our homes and our families. When we make positive changes, the whole family benefits. Conversely, when we’re unbalanced and off our game, the entire family suffers.

This book shares my own very personal story of my pregnancy. It’s mostly written from my perspective as a patient and not as a doctor, although I do include recommendations for common pregnancy conditions from a natural medical perspective, often in boxed Quick Tips.

When I became pregnant, I became a patient with the same wants, needs, and desires as any other mother-to-be. None of the physiology, embryology, and facts that I had learned in my professional career meant a darn thing. This is a very real and sometimes raw journey of my birth from woman to mother. My wish is to help other women who embark on this journey understand that they are not alone in this rite of passage and that there’s a way to do it holistically.

I learned embryology in medical school, but that didn’t take the place of living it first-hand. When I got pregnant, I knew what supplements to take and which foods to eat, but I was mostly unprepared for the insane, out of control spin my body went into almost right away. I wondered: How could feel so terrible when I wasn’t even showing yet? Weren’t the trials of pregnancy to come later on, when I would look like I had a basketball attached to me?

It’s really hard to treat yourself. I don’t care who you are; a surgeon shouldn’t do surgery on herself. The fact that I was the patient and also a doctor only helped a little bit. I still needed the advice and guidance of medical professionals to light the way.

My Medical History

I didn’t choose to be a doctor for the money or the prestige. In fact, I never wanted to be a conventional doctor. I figured out at a young age from being an observant child and a routine patient that MDs were pressed between the insurance companies and the drug companies. That pressure resulted in less time allotted for patients and quick-fix treatments, including prescription drugs and surgery. According to the latest survey, almost half of primary care doctors suffer from depression.

I’ve always felt a close connection to nature, and I believed that nature had a lot to offer in easing human suffering. I chose a career in naturopathic medicine because it followed the laws of nature, and that made sense to me. Why would I want to use drugs to suppress symptoms when it was possible to simply fix them? Drugs have unwanted side effects, and I didn’t want to prescribe them to other people. I didn’t take them when I wasn’t pregnant. I certainly wasn’t going to take any risks while I was pregnant.

Don’t get me wrong: There’s a place for conventional medicine. As you’ll see, I used both conventional and integrative medicine during my pregnancy. Utilizing both systems allowed me to review my options and make the best decisions for my unborn baby and me.

Over the past decade, naturopathic medicine has become more popular, but it’s certainly not the path of least resistance. Often the natural beliefs bump up against conventional medical dogma. This can lead to uncomfortable moments in social situations and doctor’s offices. Naturopathic medicine prompts the question Why? This can be uncomfortable, but ultimately it inspires conversation.

I love naturopathic medicine because I get to show women how to avoid disease and regain health. This allows my patients to understand their bodies and to learn how to take better care of them.

I believe that our bodies have a magical ability to heal themselves when provided with the proper support and guidance. We come from the earth. Our bodies are made of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, calcium, magnesium, and silica—just like plants, dirt, and trees. It makes sense that the chemical structure of what nature provides matches the chemical structure inside of our bodies. When you eat an apple, your body knows exactly what to do with it. There’s a vibrational and chemical match. When you introduce synthetic substances into your body, they aren’t an exact match. Synthetic substances force things to happen inside of your body instead of supporting the system as a whole. Our bodies try their best to function with synthetics on board, but typically unwanted side effects result. It’s a lot like putting smooth silky oil in your engine that enhances the function or putting sandy oil in your engine that gets stuck in the gears and causes a lot of collateral damage. Your body’s engine functions the best it can with the addition of the sand, but there are side effects.

Pregnancy is a dance with the divine. The entire process is other-worldly. It cannot be replicated in a laboratory. In this way, it’s best to err on the side of caution with any medication, herb, or supplement. It’s important to be aware of the safety issues when using herbs in pregnancy, because not everything that’s natural is safe for pregnant moms. Consulting with a naturopathic doctor, midwife, or knowledgeable practitioner is recommended. The desire to avoid medical interventions has led many pregnant women to seek natural alternatives. Many items from Mother Nature’s medicinary can safely alleviate a lot of pregnancy ailments. I’ve listed them at the appropriate points throughout my story. These items include foods, homeopathic remedies, herbs, vitamins, and minerals.

It’s important to remember that herbs have a pharmacologic action and can act like drugs. It’s critical to know which are considered safe.

Quick Tip: Safe Herbs in Pregnancy

The following herbs have been scientifically proven to be safe during pregnancy.

• Red raspberry: This mineral-rich herb helps tone and support the uterus.

• Ginger: This herb reduces nausea.

• Echinacea: This can reduce the duration and severity of upper respiratory infections.

• Cranberry: This is helpful to prevent urinary tract infections.

• Chamomile: Relaxing, this herb relieves gas and helps with sleep.

The following herbs are generally considered to be safe in teas and cooking.

• Spearmint

• Chamomile

• Lemon balm

• Rose hips

The following are nutritious and mineral-rich herbs.

• Stinging nettles

• Milky oats

•