Image Scrimmage: 9 Ways Women Win with Body Language

By Dr. Donna Van Natten

Do you go with your gut or listen to that little voice? Our bodies speak volumes, and these hunches are real. Its time for you to take advantage of understanding the power of nonverbal communication!

In Image Scrimmage, Dr. Donna Van Natten, the Body Language Doctor, offers a how-to guide on assessing and improving your nonverbal communication and interpreting the signals of those around you. Including reflections and personal action plans, this book helps you think about the whole woman, from top to bottom. From handshakes to hairstyles and torsos to toes, subtle expressions tell us what others are really feeling and thinkingand also reveal our genuine emotions and intentions. Focus on your 9-step plan for building your leadership skills, and learn from the personal and unique perspectives of professionals who are thriving in their careers. Discover your full leadership abilities while turning your own carbon into diamonds. Polish your professional image by reflecting and deciding what imprint you want to make in your workplace.

Written with candor and humor, this communications resource provides an in depth understanding of nonverbal communication for women. For more information visit www.bodylanguagedr.com.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781532007552

Dr. Donna Van Natten

Dr. Donna Van Natten holds multiple degrees, culminating with a doctorate in Educational Leadership. She was awarded a Japanese Fulbright Scholarship in graduate school and is also published in The Journal of Leadership Education. She is the Founder, President, and CEO of Accountability Measures. Her professional memberships include the Chattanooga Womens Leadership Institute and Women Mean Business in Tennessee. She resides with her family and their two cats in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

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Copyright © 2016 Dr. Donna Van Natten.

Cover photography by Mike Key Photography

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-0756-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0754-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0755-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016915512

iUniverse rev. date: 09/24/2016

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1 Words, The 7%

Chapter 2 Tone And Voice, The 38%

Chapter 3 Emotions + Brain + Communication = Tangled Talk

Chapter 4 Non-Verbals, The All-Important 55%

Chapter 5 Above The Shoulders

Chapter 6 Hands, Arms, And Space Consumption

Chapter 7 Below The Belt

Chapter 8 The Torso

Chapter 9 Clothing Matters

Chapter 10 Wrap This Up - For Now

Glossary

Sage Bios

References

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To my children - who are my being

To my parents – who are my unwavering

To my significant – for making me feel like a diamond

Always.

FOREWORD

The body never lies – Martha Graham

Long before Donna approached me about contributing to this book, I was aware of the very talented American dancer/choreographer Martha Graham via my daughter who has been a dancer since she learned to walk. Little did I know that famous quote above would leap into my head as I sat down to write this Foreword. It was the perfect quote given the focus of this book, and I knew I had to include it as a kickoff to my opening comments.

I share Donna’s interest and training in the social sciences and have always been fascinated by the amount of information one can discern from nonverbal communication. In fact, like many of you, I utilize my skill set in reading nonverbal communication on a daily basis in my interactions with students, faculty, administrators, athletes, and coaches. As is the case with all skill sets, however, not everybody possesses the ability to read nonverbal communication to the same degree, which is the reason, I suspect, that you have purchased this book.

The good news is that you are holding the best resource that exists on the topic of empowering women via knowledge of workplace nonverbal communication. This book, written by a friend and colleague I’ve known for over 30 years, effectively merges the experiences of professional women with research and data to provide readers with knowledge and skills that they can immediately put into practice. While you will not get bogged down by detailed research reviews, Donna has provided the reader with documented support for her statements and recommendations. So, if you are eager to learn more about a particular topic in one of the chapters, you will have a number of references at your disposal to use as a starting point.

While this book is grounded in research and data, the primary focus, value, and strength of the book is in its application to real-world situations that the reader is likely to experience in her or his professional life. In addition to Dr. Van Natten, you will meet and learn from a number of women throughout this book who have utilized their knowledge of nonverbal communication to succeed in their chosen fields. As you begin to absorb the material in this book, however, you are likely to ask yourself the following question – if we recognize the benefits of being able to effectively read the nonverbal communication of others, and if this is a skill that we can learn, why don’t more people devote their time and energy to improving these skills? The answer likely lies in the norms of our culture. Let me provide a brief analogy that may help clarify this statement.

Part of my background includes working with athletes to enhance their psychological skills during, and in preparation for, their performances. Much like the debate regarding the percentage of communication that is verbal vs. nonverbal (some experts claim that as much as 93% of all communication is nonverbal), sport scientists engage in constant debate over the percentage of athletic success that is due to mental vs. physiological factors. Ultimately, of course, the percentages are irrelevant. Even if, for the sake of argument, we assume that nonverbal communication makes up a relatively small portion of all communication, the potential impact of missing out on even 10% of the information being conveyed can be devastating. In the world of athletics, failing to adequately train the mind can have equally negative consequences on performance but, yet, few coaches devote practice time to mental training and far too few athletes commit even a fraction of their training time to improving their psychological skills. Hopefully, the analogy is becoming clear now – how much time and effort have you expended to enhance your understanding and practice of effective verbal communication (sending and receiving verbal messages) compared to aspects of nonverbal communication? Habit, history, and tradition dictate much of our behavior. Mindsets are exceedingly difficult to change. Every now and then we need a shock to the system and you will, no doubt, experience this in any workshop that Donna leads on the topic of women, empowerment, and nonverbal behavior. Fortunately, she has produced a literary aftershock that goes into far greater depth than she is able to provide in a workshop format.

Truly great training books open our eyes, stretch our mind, and provide a blueprint for actionable steps that remain once the initial surge of motivation has diminished. Thanks to Donna and her team of experts, you are holding in your hands the blueprint that will allow you to effectively glean important information via nonverbal communication. Before you flip another page, however, I would offer one suggestion to you – do NOT read the entire book all at once. Should you choose to do so, you may find yourself so overwhelmed with a desire to attend to the many aspects of nonverbal communication that you will, paradoxically, miss out on much of it, including what is actually being said. Instead, try to incorporate information and skills from one or two chapters at a time into your personal interactions.

In the 1987 movie Wall Street, Michael Douglas (as character Gordon Gekko) utters the memorable line The most valuable commodity I know of is information. Given this, it should be clear to all of us that a firm grasp of nonverbal communication is not just a preferable skill set to possess - it is an absolutely critical one. Whether in athletic, academic, business, or social settings, we find ourselves routinely engaged in levels of competition in which the slightest advantage can make all the difference in the world. If you have ever said to yourself or others that I’ll do anything in order to _____, this book is your wake-up call. An untapped and abundant resource exists with the potential to empower you in the workplace. With this book, Dr. Donna Van Natten has created a roadmap that will allow you to navigate the precarious domain of your professional relationships. Get in the driver’s seat - you will soon find your personal interactions to be far more satisfying and meaningful than you do today. Enjoy the journey!

Curt L. Lox, Dean

INTRODUCTION

BODY LANGUAGE AND NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

While still considered by many to be a man’s world, it cannot and should not be discounted that 57% of today’s workforce are women, 56% of females account for undergraduate college enrollment, and a record 40% constitute heads of households. The data speaks for itself in that we, as breadwinners, and homemakers, and pattycakemakers are making economic and social contributions at both our workplaces and communities.

From social scenes to workplace meetings, a woman’s role is not static. Her corporate presence is growing and requires nurturing. Women’s groups, entrepreneurial workshops, and diversity trainings readily available in some cities, but scarce in others, bring to light the critical need for helping others – in particular, women. As the faces of our emerging Millennial managers appears to get more youthful from the perception of fellow Gen X and other professionals, a progressive mindset acknowledges this and embraces the opportunities.

It remains my continuous observation that women of all ages and stages are unique in how we contribute to our communities and careers by how we communicate, control ourselves (or lack thereof), and use our non-verbal actions, tone of voices, and words.

Our strides are noteworthy. We are tapping on the glass ceiling … and it’s shattering into a beautiful menagerie of glistening diamonds! Women have come a long way on the path to inclusion and equality; hopefully, not at the expense of men, but rather with the inclusion of them. If we want to better understand how we, as independent and gifted women, can continue to capitalize on our successes and advances, then hard, honest conversations, statistical trends analyses, gaps and reality checks, and emotional occupational hazard reviews are in order. I presume you’re RSVPing to attend.

From the 5.1 million married women with incomes greater than their spouses, to the 8.6 million single mothers burning the life and work candle at both ends, we should dive deeper to better understand these women and learn from their trailblazing stories. The fact remains that we need to continue to stretch our strides, shatter those ceilings, and ensure that our mothers, wives, friends, sisters, and daughters (and the fathers, partners, guys, brothers, and sons who unapologetically support us) thrive while living their dreams.

PHOTO%20OF%20WOMEN%20FROM%20DIFFERENCE%20WORKFORCE%20OCCUPATIONS%201.jpg

Since you now have this book in your hand (or on an e-platform), you are taking an active role in learning more about yourself and how you want to navigate your world and live your dreams. For every man reading this, diving deep for pearls, and extracting diamonds, congratulations on recognizing the value of women and understanding the impact they have in shaping your life. We think you’re a gem, too!

This guide stands ready to channel our smart minds on such a journey, and I want you to view this as an informative tool to share with others who may need a little bit of polish or a little understanding to shine. Filled with research-light, used intentionally to keep statistics and overwhelming data from engulfing our brains, it is my intention to share some of the available wealth leading, guiding, stereotyping, and reinforcing who we are and, perhaps, why we are where we are. Large spoonfuls of humor and wit help the truths and frustrations go down a little easier.

Chapter titles speak for themselves and each section offers ideas and ponderings for the open mind in learning mode. You may not agree with some of the research, struggle with the viewpoints of experts doing the fieldwork, and I concur. I continue to challenge the status quo in my world, and will admit that knowledge is powerful. I know how I want my intelligence and image displayed on social billboards.

A mountain of research from content experts and academics committed to the work are included because data drives workplace decisions. In today’s accountability and ROI-driven workplaces, value goes beyond good character, or so it seems. It encompasses workplace investments; and decision makers demand a solid return. Research sources are cited at the end of the book; I invite you to grab a latte or something a little heartier after a day’s work, and read a journal article or two of interest to you. These validated resources arm us with information to grow our brains, challenge our mental constructs, and brand ourselves.

Each chapter concludes with Take-Aways and visuals to enhance the message. Captivating Sage Stories add depth, personal experiences, application, and pearls of wisdom from women (and the men who support us) who practice what they preach add both depth and perspective. I profusely thank each of these professionals for taking the time to share their unique perspectives. When I first received their contributions, my eyes eagerly drank in their reflections and advice. I was, and remain, a proud and humbled colleague.

Finally, at the start of your path or somewhere in between, I make you aware that you will read about sensitive body parts, animal behaviors mirroring human behaviors, controlled and uncontrollable emotions, and the perceptions of others surrounding you. Sometimes these differences about us are difficult to accept; we want to be known and respected