The Seed Within: The First Born Series

By Helena K Workman

I searched for two hundred years for the one that could complete me, the firstborn of my kind. Then in seven short months, I found her, fell madly in love with her, showed her the world she was meant to rule, and somehow managed to bring her right to her own death. Now due to a curse her own father placed on her death, it meant I have yet another mindless vampire to hunt and put down. How do I save her from herself? Hell, how do I live if I have to bring my love a true death? Or can I save her?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524506896

Helena K Workman

Helena K. Workman was born in upper Indiana on a hot July day in 1973. She is now a full-time medical laboratory scientist and part-time author with four fully grown children and three grandchildren that are her everything. While this imaginative writer that loves to roam has lived in the states of Indiana, Michigan, Montana, Nebraska, and Colorado, she now calls New Mexico home for the time being with her boyfriend, Old English sheepdog, and three cats.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Helena K Workman.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016909094

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5245-0691-9

                Softcover         978-1-5245-0690-2

                eBook             978-1-5245-0689-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/25/2016

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

CHAPTER 1

O NCE I HAD thought that in over 250 years that I’ve roamed this earth I had either been the cause of or witness to all the horrors that would or could haunt a person’s dreams. I found myself sorely mistaken.

Let me introduce myself. I’m Chad Black. I’m what’s referred to as a hybrid. I guess one would say I’m the next step in the evolutionary chain for my kind. Unless you’re a vampire, then I’m what you’d call a mutt. Half vampire, half werewolf, I do however, run a little stronger toward the vampire side of things. I was one of the undead first. I was captured by my gypsy family and magically bonded to my wolf counterpart. This in itself was a pure act of fate because to bind a living thing to something that is for all intents and purposes dead was thought to be impossible and, well, has never been successfully done again. I’m the first and only of my odd kind, no, not the only mutt by far, but the only one magical bonded, but the fates had a purpose in all this madness. There was a much bigger purpose for me, and I was to wait a few lifetimes for it to come to pass.

There is what is referred to as a prophecy brought forth by my grandmother and passed through the ages. This prophecy speaks of me and a missing half, my eternal soul mate. This will be another play by the fates for she will be the firstborn. Yes, as in at birth she will be human, werewolf, and vampire, blessed by God with abilities beyond any mere mortal and the power to bind us all and make me whole once more.

I had scoured the earth for centuries in search of this missing piece with little success, but as we all know, prophecies can be rather vague in that it never said when she would be born. Well, I can live for what amounts to forever to most.

I had pretty much given up on my search for the firstborn after two hundred years of nothing. I had barred myself into my work. I and a close friend Teddy, who is a full-blooded werewolf, spend most of our time tracking and hunting down unruly vampires for execution. Don’t want their population getting out of hand. Humans are defenseless against them, so we sort of fight to keep mankind a little safer. Sounds a little superhero-ish, doesn’t it? Not even close. We do this behind the scene of course, for most humans think our kind doesn’t even exist. Hollywood horror and fairytales is all we amount to for the majority of the world.

It was only a little over six months ago when Teddy and I had tracked down a rather large group of young vampires, about fifteen of them. We were out doing some recon on where they could be possibly lying low at during the daytime hours. With this high of a count, they would be much easier killed during the daytime. You see, while I’m very capable of going out in the day light. Don’t care much for it, but it causes me no harm. The vampires, on the other hand, can’t do sun of any kind, so if we could hit them during the day, it would be a much easier kill. The vampires had gone and branched off on us, so Teddy had this bright idea that we should brake up to follow both groups.

I hadn’t followed my group for over thirty minutes when I found that, one, there was more than fifteen total in this little hoard; and two, they were on to me. I found myself surrounded by a good number of them. Unfortunately, for me, I was rather well-known to the vampire world, and it would be a great honor if they were able to take me out of the equation. Obviously, no one had filled them in on how very resilient I am as well as deadly. So we were in for an entire evening of pain and fun. They were pretty sure that they had the advantage in numbers; naivety is so fun when it comes from a nightwalker.

I had taken a hell of a beating and killed quite a few of them in the process, but their blood didn’t always do a whole hell of a lot for healing me. You know them being dead and all, but it kept me going. During all this they thought it would be great fun to snag onto me with tow ropes and drag me behind a car, which stung a lot. After they thought they might have dragged some of the fight out of me, the blood spilling was about to start once more; and well, I was okay with that because I was in need of some more blood. Unfortunately, for me, I had only gotten my hands on two of them before some good old boys joined our little party.

State troopers came upon us just as I had finished killing the second one to be brave enough to come within my reach. I’ll be dammed if the vampires didn’t all split as soon as the lights on the police car went to dancing through the night. Go figure. I was in no condition to just disappear with that spotlight right on me, and I didn’t look like I was doing so well. I was covered in my own blood, and well, a few vamp’s blood as well, and a little tangled in the rope’s the vamps tried tying me up in. Oh, and did I mention the one in the car backed over me when he made a run for it? So guess who had to play along with the humans? Yeah, that would be me. I got myself an all-exclusive first-class ride to the local hospital, which was probably worse on my health and well-being than the stinking vampires were. You see, my heart rate isn’t exactly up to par by human standards, not even close. I must be of good health to force my heart to beat at a human pace and well.

The damn EMT kept using those damn electric paddle things on me, electrocuting the shit out of me ever time my heart rate slowed too much for his comfort. Tell me how in the world was I supposed to keep my rate up enough to make them and the screaming machines happy if they kept electrocuting my ass? I really wanted to yell at them to stop the damn ambulance and let me the hell out, but that I was more than sure wouldn’t have went over very well, so I stuck it out. How much worse could it possibly get?

We had finally made it to the hospital, and it didn’t get any better there. I was wheeled in with this man straddling me and making way more mouth-to-mouth contact than I was comfortable with. I guess it’s a good thing I’m secure in my manhood. I hadn’t had this much mouth-to-mouth action in fifty some years and never with another man. This hospital stuff was like a living hell. I got shocked, straddled by a man, tossed around, stripped of all my clothing, things stuck in places they had no business being. In short, I was thoroughly probed by several strange people. Too bad I wasn’t going to die, this night I was going to have to live with and remember forever, and this was supposed to be them helping me. How the hell did humans survive this type of crap? It was beyond me.

It was at that very moment when I wasn’t sure I could take any more of this when I heard and felt a voice that instantly got my attention. She was merely whispering to one of the other ER personnel, but then she reached out and touched my arm, and it sent a wave of warm energy threw me like nothing I had ever felt before. She called to the very core of my being with just a touch. I turned my head slowly and opened my eyes to see this angels face, and I must have startled her because she instantly let me go and stepped back. She must have felt me to. I didn’t smell anything out of the norm about her. She smelled very human they all did.

My god, it was her, it was her. Could it really be, the firstborn? I could feel it like a piece in me just clicked into place. I suddenly had little to no problem keeping my heart rate at a normal pace. My mind was reeling at the thought that a mere faked accident, and I had found her. I knew it, had no doubt once so ever about it. She was the one.

For the first time in a very long time, I was flooded with unfamiliar emotions. I had found the one, the one to complete me.

I was recovering quickly with my excitement, so I was moved and left to the care of just one nurse. She was cleaning me up when Sara—this was the firstborn’s name—came knocking at the door and walked in to properly introduce herself. She was a natural beauty with dark auburn hair that was rather curly from what I could tell. She was tall and slim with eyes that was equal to my own a pale dusty blue, and she had the lightest-colored freckles crossed her nose.

With the things she asked, I quickly picked up that she was a lab technologist at this hospital, a paid vampire, how very ironic is that? I also found that she was either unaware of what she was or she was a damn convincing actor, but hey, we all work rather hard to hide what we truly are.

So I found myself way overstepping my manners, I somehow made her pass the hell out. Oops, that one was going to cost me. I fled from the hospital like a coward because I didn’t mean to overwhelm her scenes. How was I to know then that it was even possible to hide what a person is from themselves? She truly had no clue what she was or what I was for that matter. Oh, this was going to be very tricky. I patiently waited for her to come out, and then I followed her home, yeap I was reduced to being a common stalker. I continued to do so for several evenings, intently watching her till I worked up the courage to speak to her. Hell, what was I to even say? I was as nervous as I had ever been. How to get her to give me the time of day?

Over the next few months, I walked a very tight rope. I tried to spend as much time with her as she would allow, but Sara was very difficult. She truly knew nothing of what she was or of her lineage. She, at most time, thought I was out of my mind, bat-shit crazy; but in spite of herself, I introduced her to the world of make-believe and monsters. Some days it was refreshingly funny; others it was a nightmare for us all.

On our first contact, when I overwhelmed her with my other energies, that seemed to engage some new things for her as well as me. She was learning to use and control these newfound powers. I had no clue why it took us meeting to bring out her natural abilities, but it did give her someone to blame when she was scared or mad. Sara’s werewolf and vampire was somehow bond to her in such a way that they were unable to come to the surface, so Sara was very fragile and human in the worst way. As time went on, some unsavory acquaintances of mine took an interest in her, vampires.

Vincent, a master vampire, my master, had decided that he wanted Sara for her abilities. So not only did I introduce Sara to my world of monsters and fairytales, but I also let her down and brought her straight to her own death. Vincent got her, and … let’s go back three weeks ago.

I was sitting in my office at the club that I owned, Up All Night. Sara had just left to go back to her place where I was to meet her later. I had to have a heart-to-heart with one of my other roommates Clair, who had had a spat that was so uncalled for with Sara earlier. You see, Clair was like me, a hybrid, and she has been trying to get me to come around to her advances for some time; and since Sara was now in the picture, she wasn’t taking it very well at all, and we all know how stupid jealousy can make us or crazy when it comes to woman. In short, she was all butthurt that I had found the prophecy, and well, she never really believed much in it anyways, so we were having some problems. We may have needed to renegotiate our living arrangements if this was going to become an issue. I would not take Sara being put out while with me by anyone.

CHAPTER 2

C HAD, THIS IS not a big deal. Sara stood her ground, and I know how you feel. I’m sorry it got out of hand. I let my frustration get the better of me, not a one of us is perfect. I’m a team player … Clair was yammering on as she entered my office.

Clair, I never wanted this to become an issue, but you made it one. For Christ sake, you have been in my head. You know how I feel about her. If I can’t trust you around Sara, then this is not going to work, I stated with a stern look.

Teddy and Sara have actually come to blows, and I don’t see you having this talk with him. You know you can trust me. I was just a little mad, that’s all. Sara is perfectly capable of holding her own. We will be besties again tomorrow. It’s a girl thing. It will pass, Clair complained as she paced the room.

I’m not making you leave. I will leave that choice up to you. I know how things work when you have more than one dominant female under one roof, but know this Clair, if you attack or try to attack Sara again, there will be hell to pay. I won’t tolerate it. I stood to walk around my desk, and the room suddenly went to spinning violently. I grabbed the desk, and Clair grabbed me. It was Sara in my head. Her Jeep was rolling out of control; Sara was screaming through my mind with a bloodcurdling sound as I heard the metal buckling around her. I felt every ounce of panic and fear that rode Sara’s body as well as the physical damage she was sustaining. I staggered to my knees, and then she was gone.

Chad, shit, you all right? What’s wrong? Clair asked with concern.

Son of a bitch, that hurts when she does that. Sara has had a car accident. I must go. Please let Teddy know to come after me. It happened near her home. I was up and on my feet shaking off what Sara had done to me, and out the door I went blazing.

It took me less than fifteen minutes to get to the accident sight. There were emergency vehicles everywhere. They lit up half the countryside with their lights. The passersby that had to slow to catch a glimpse of the tragedy were holding time back like magnets. I went straight for the ambulance to find it empty. Why was it empty? my mind went to reeling. My god, was Sara pinned under the wreckage? Panic was climbing up me as I turned to see a large cranelike thing lifting the Jeep straight up into the air from its resting place. The Jeep was empty as well. The Jeep didn’t look much like a Jeep anymore. The emergency team went scrambling into the ditch that they had pulled the truck out of. I was searching the crowd and found Mitch with an officer. I ran over to them. Mitch was not faring this very well at all, and truth be told, neither was I.

Mitch, please tell me where’s Sara? I grabbed Mitch by the shoulders, and the officer grabbed on to me.

No, Officer, he’s okay. This is Chad, Sara’s boyfriend, Mitch replied and then turned to give me the gravest of looks. His face was starting to break down. She wasn’t in the Jeep, Chad. She may be under it. Her seat belt was in shreds … Chad, it’s been twenty minutes if she’s under it. Mitch couldn’t finish the thought. Mitch finally fell apart like a house of cards folding in ward right before my eyes. I felt dizzy, and a pain shot threw my chest. I turned to look at the wreckage as if that would be better than facing Mitch’s pain. Teddy was just suddenly standing there. It was like my mind had to catch up with what was happening, like it was refusing to let this go any further, stopping time right here.

Teddy pulled me away from Mitch and the cop.

Chad, breathe, dammit. Sara isn’t under there. She isn’t here. I can’t smell her. Teddy gave me a look like he was willing me to get his point, but I was running in slow motion I couldn’t do this. This was all too much, too soon. How could I lose her to something as simple as a fucking car accident?

I smell her. What do you mean, Teddy? I looked at Teddy and was blinking way too much.

Yes, you smell her blood, but she is not here. She isn’t anywhere around here, trust me, Teddy whispered as we made our way to the Jeep to get a closer look. The seat belt was in shambles. That couldn’t be from rolling, I growled a low rumble in my chest. Do you smell that? I asked.

Yes, vampire, they have Sara once more, and it looks as if she may be very badly hurt, Teddy whispered.

Those bastards, I wonder if they staged this to get at her, to disable her. I glared hard at the wreckage. That son of … I’ll kill him. I’ll kill them all. I damn near growled out the last.

The crew of emergency people went to yelling that she wasn’t down in the ditch and for everyone to spread out. She had to be out here somewhere, and time was of the essence. Man, did they have no idea how true that statement was. They went to fanning out with flashlights and yelling her name out into the night. Teddy scented the seat belt, and we took off across the field. Sara had left a trail of her blood for over five miles. Teddy finally came to a stop and bent down to come back up with a drop of Sara’s blood on his fingertip. Teddy brought it to his mouth.

She has been very heavily sedated, I can taste it. They had transportation waiting here. This is the end of the trail. Teddy looked sympathetically at me.

No, Teddy, I must find Sara. She already spends enough time screaming in her sleep. See, the first time Sara had gotten the attentions of the vampires, it had left her with nightmares that she had some problems shaking. Teddy, from the direction they had been going, I bet they have her somewhere in those mountains. I was angry and highly agitated.

Teddy and I searched those mountains for days with not a single break, and Sara had yet to contact me. I was losing my mind with rage and a plethora of other annoying-as-hell emotions.

Teddy and I finally stopped to set up camp on the fourth day; it was a couple of hours before sundown. I was still being ridden with anger and fear. It was like a really bad drug overdose. I didn’t want to stop, but my body was becoming fatigued badly. We had no choice, and that also made me mad as hell.

Teddy, we’re going to have to call together a fucking hunting party. We need to cover more ground and faster. No matter what happens next, I want his head. We have nothing to go on, and as long as they have her sedated, she is unable to contact me. I must have had a most grizzly look because Teddy hesitated to even speak.

They won’t keep her sedated forever. They can’t … play with her in that state. Teddy wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I think he didn’t want to face what must have been in them.

I suddenly felt Sara. Sara? I whispered. She was with me. I could feel her pain and fear like a tangible item, but that was all nothing more. She was still too out of it. No sound, no visual, just mild emotion was all she could put through to me.

Teddy, she’s still alive but hurt and not fully conscious. I will hunt them down. Death will be my damn gift to them. I growled with such rage that I almost couldn’t stop myself from shifting. That’s when I wondered if all of that got through to her. Dammit, that wasn’t what she needed, my rage on top of her own fear.

Chad, I know this isn’t your strong suit, but try to be patient. We’ll find her just give her time to come around. By the taste of her blood, they sedated the daylights out of her. Give it time. Teddy laid back and closed his eyes. He was just as exhausted as me, and we really needed to just be idle for a bit, but my mind was getting the best of me as I tried really hard to follow suit and try to just rest.

Chad? Sara’s voice glided through my mind. I jumped up and must have startled the hell out of Teddy because he was suddenly on his feet.

Sara, are you badly hurt? I thought.

Sara did as much explaining as she was capable of, that being, not hurt too bad, and it was the vamps again. Of course she had no clue where she was being held. Sara’s mind was a groggy mess; she was stammering over her own thoughts. It was difficult to get everything, but I wasn’t sure if it was fear or the aftereffects of whatever they had used to incapacitate her.

What I was getting from her was getting weaker. The last thing I heard was please find me soon. Sara was gone once more. I sighed then I cry out in an anger-fueled cry. Teddy damn near jumped out of his skin as he looked at me with utterly sad eyes.

Well, she isn’t hurt too badly, but they made sure she doesn’t know where she is. She is going to try to get out into the light. God, I hope she is close because if she manages to get out, we don’t have a lot of time before sundown. I gave Teddy the highlights as I rubbed my face in frustration.

It wasn’t very long till Sara was back in my head.

Chad, I’m out, but …, Sara sighed. Her breathing was labored, and she was aching all over. I could feel it like it was my own body.

Sara, where are you? I inquired hastily, for time wasn’t on our side.

I don’t know, Chad. There’s nothing, just what looks like white sand as far as the eye can see. Could I be in a dessert? Sara stated in panic. She was scared to death, and it was so strong that it was undoing me at an alarming rate.

Sara, my heart, please try to calm yourself and breathe. I have an idea. Bend down and taste the sand." I instructed, and the question must have thrown her because I got a sense of total confusion.

What? Sara asked. I was frustrated as well, so I told her to just do what I ask and hurry. It was just as I had suspected—Utah. She was in the salt flats of Utah. The sand there tastes of salt. Could we get to her before they found her out in the open and alone? This was the million-dollar question.

I told her to just keep moving, and I even had her coming toward us. I let her know that she had more time than she thought. They would have to figure out which direction she had went in, and tracking her scent in the salt flats wasn’t going to be easy.

I told Sara to check in with me periodically, that we were coming. Teddy and I were off like there was no tomorrow. We are much faster on foot than most automobiles, and we didn’t have to follow roads, so here was hoping. I am faster in a dead outrun than Teddy, but he was very capable of tracking my scent to stay nearby, so I was off.

I was in Utah when Sara rampaged through my mind in a panic.

Chad, I’ve been found. Sara was frantic.

I need more time. How many are there? I asked.

So far, just one, Chad … How do I kill them?" Sara asked with great fear because she knew she was running out of options. I told Sara what she would have to do, but I knew Sara’s heart, and I wasn’t at all sure that she was able to follow through with what had to happen. Sara pulled back from my mind, and I thought, Dammit, I need just a little more time.

It was only twenty minutes later when Sara came tearing back into my head, and this time, I was getting the full ride. Vincent was holding Sara off the ground by her throat as tears ran down her face; her emotion ran scolding hot over me. Sara’s grief at what she had done was overwhelming. Sara was horrified and wanted her own death. I was floored by that. She was letting go, and her body had gone still as she gasped for air. I screamed out her name just as Vincent threw her like a broken doll. Sara was so deep in my mind. I got the feeling she was trying to run and hide in my head. She was pulling away from her own body. I knew this because I could barely feel any physical pain. Sara was now wearing me like a glove and leaving her own reality far behind.

Sara, I so wish I was there with you too, but you must fight please. I have seen that temper of yours. You are very capable of more than this please. I can’t lose you." I was outright pleading under my breath with her because she was just giving up.

There is nothing I can do to him, and you know this. Sara cried a soft, almost-inauditable sound. Chad, please come and get me.

That was when I heard Vincent, and from the sounds of it, he was on to us. Sara must have muttered the last out loud. Vincent hit Sara so hard that she was suddenly ripped from my mind. The sensation was something like being hit between the eyes with a sledgehammer. I staggered and dropped to the ground. I was no longer moving because Vincent wasn’t stupid. He would move her now.

I was downright livid. Why, for god’s sake? We were so close. Why? I was screaming, and my mental state was degrading at an alarming rate.

Teddy had finally caught up with me, and he walked up to console me; but in this state, that was not his best choice. I turned growling and hissing because I had this innate desire to kill everything. Teddy took zero time to make that observation. He backed away from me; he was sensing the inner battle that was kicking the shit out of me.

Chad, pull yourself together. This won’t help us one little bit, and if you attack my ass, I’m going to so hold a grudge, so idle it down. I know this must hurt, but save the rage for the vampires. If this is Vincent again, you’re going to need it. Teddy was trying to talk me back from the outer edge of madness, and then he just turned and walked away from me. This was the best thing he could have done.

On the long hike back home, I had managed to kill everything that I passed. It did help my rage a little. But I had Sara’s voice begging me to come get her playing over and over in my head. She was scared, and I could do nothing, and I didn’t like that one bit. It was outright eating at me. I brought her into this world, and now I was letting her be hurt and even tortured by it.

CHAPTER 3

O NCE BACK AT home, Teddy and I called in a few favors. Some extreme hunters that kill for money and for … well, that’s another story. Let’s just say professional hit men. I wasn’t playing anymore. A few of these men were of our own kind, but a few wasn’t. We were in the middle of the game plan when I felt Sara. I closed my eyes and let out a breath I didn’t even now I was holding. She was still alive. That was a big plus.

She once again had no clue where she was. She was all tied up this time but not in any way sedated. I told her to search through the minds of her babysitters and see what she could find. I had a hunting party together, but I needed her to slim her location down for us because Vincent could have taken her anywhere on this continent.

Sara went to cursing herself for not thinking of that in the first place.

Chad? Sara paused for a long while, but emotionally, she was falling apart. I could feel it.

Yes Sara? I prompted her on for my chest was burning with the added emotions she was giving me.

When she didn’t respond, I sighed. Sara I know, I can feel you. Try to stay strong just a little while longer. I promise, I will never give up on you, I thought with great distress, and Sara pulled back from my mind.

I pulled myself back together and rejoined the meeting.

Vampire, if it’s vampire kill it. If any of you come upon Vincent, call for back up, disable him as much as you can, but buyer beware. He can roll the shit out of you with just his voice. Vincent is in no way new to the game. He is over four hundred years old. Be careful. This is the big fish, and he is more powerful than I can even begin to explain, so watch your back. I was in the middle of a sentence when Sara glided through my mind once more. Vegas. I’m in Vegas. Sara sighed.

We are on our way. Just hold on. I was anxious beyond words.

I gave the others the quickest rundown in the history of rundowns, and we were off. The city that never sleeps, how very fitting, but what was to be my worst nightmare came to bare only two hours after we had left.

Sara came screaming through my mind. I grabbed on to that handgrip that sits above my glove box as I got an intensely vivid stream of pain and pure panic from Sara, and she wasn’t alone in my head. Vincent was along for the ride, and he was causing Sara as much pain as he was capable of as he feed at her throat.

Checkmate, I win. Vincent rolled over me in a rush of self-gratification. Vincent was pulling the life right out of Sara. I could feel her fading into the darkness. I could feel her dying as she screamed like a purely terrified thing.

Vincent, stop now, or I’ll spend the rest of my existence hunting you down. You are signing your own death warrant. Stop now! I was grinding my jaw so tightly that I thought I might break my own teeth. I couldn’t control the rage. I was going to shift right here in the car.

Sara cried out my name with everything she had left in her. I echoed her with Vincent, STOP!

I love you, Sara whispered with her final breath, and she let go. I could feel her death like an ice-cold sword through my chest. That floored me, and I shifted in one violent motion. Teddy brought the car to a screaming, skidding halt on the edge of the road and dove from the car. The other two men that was riding with us followed suit.

I lost all and total control. I tore my Mustang apart from the inside out. I was making noises that I had no idea I was capable of making. Teddy and the other men stayed a good distance from me and the car. They were all giving me a whole lot of space. Once the car was no longer identifiable, I dropped to my knees wailing because the grief I felt was consuming me. The sensation of Sara’s life slipping away was more than my mind or body could bare. I looked up at Teddy with pleading eyes. Please … Sara is … I felt him take her life. I cannot bear this … Kill me, please. I wept as I bowed my head, waiting for one of them to do what I had asked.

A few minutes passed, and I looked back up to see that Teddy looked stricken, and Ken and Terry had dropped to one knee, head bowed in silence. I wasn’t going to get my request. Not a one of them would just put me out of my misery, so I stood without a word and walked off back towered the way we had come.

Teddy followed me without a word. It took us most of the night to get back to the club because we had made it quite some ways before my world came crashing in on me. I had to have been in shock, but to be certain, I don’t know this was another first for me. While all the things I had been missing for most of my existence was given back due to Sara, now I really wished I could go back to feeling nothing that would have been super.

I now sat quietly in my office; it was the only place I had that didn’t have Sara all over it. I never moved for well over twenty-four hours. I didn’t know what to do, so I sat waiting for the shock and hurt to dull down. Just holding myself together was a big task.

There was a knock at my door, and of course, it was Clair. Thus far she had been the only one brave enough to keep bothering me at all.

If even one stupid word falls from your lips, I will kill you. I growled as I glanced up at her.

Clair turned back, talking to someone behind her, See, I told you he’s not faring well.

Chad, please it’s me Nicky. May I talk with you for a moment? Nicky yelled over Clair as softly as she could, and I still heard her.

You may, Nicky. I sighed and shook my head, for Nicky was Sara’s very best friend. She too has spent some time here with us because Sara had hooked her and Teddy up. They were dating, so to speak. I really had no desire to do this with her, but what choice did I have? She would get to me eventually, so why not get it over with now?

Nicky stood in front of my desk, staring down at my pencil holder. She looked like she had been doing a lot of crying, and I didn’t blame her one bit. I truly wished I could a little more. Maybe it would help with the hurt.

What is it that you want, Nicky? I asked without making eye contact with her.

Chad, if you knew something that wasn’t really above board would you tell me? Nicky was being as beat around the bush as she could and still ask what she wanted to know.

You see,