Be Happy Now!: Become the Active Director of Your Life

By Deborah Day, MA

This book challenges its readers to identify thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that are not serving
their greatest good, and provides tools to help change self-defeating patterns. Using a concise
and simplified approach Deborah Day, M.A., encourages readers to take responsibility for
directing their own life in a more purposeful manner.
Empowerment, growth, and personal wellness are some of the essential aspects that Deborah
Day, M.A., strives to help her readers achieve. Living as the active director of your life versus
passively accepting what life brings to you is at the core of her teachings. You have the power
to change and grow. This Handbook is designed to help you achieve your highest good and
live a more fulfilling life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781514418994

Deborah Day, MA

“Deborah definitely succeeds in conveying the concept of happiness in a realistic manner . . . not as an idealized end goal, but as a feeling state that requires attentiveness to self and others. Readers will find a simple yet powerful set of guidelines and strategies for self-improvement designed to facilitate living in a manner consistent with one’s values and priorities.” —Steve O’Brien, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist, Associate Professor of Psychology and Mental Health Expert for Bay News 9, Tampa Bay’s Twenty- Four-Hour News Source. Deborah has been working as a clinician in the mental health field since 1989. In addition to working with individuals and couples, her local private practice is home to her signature Women’s Twelve-Week Empowerment Group. Deborah offers a broad array of creative tools to help her clients achieve their greatest good. Along with some of the cognitive tools shared in this book, she also has specialized training in experiential therapies that enhances her capability to creatively assist her clients. She brings this creativity to the work she is doing with her coaching practice. Deborah’s interactive style allows her to provide informative, interesting, and dynamic trainings and workshops. Her desire is to help bring healing and hope to many.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Deborah Day M.A..

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015917411

ISBN:                  Hardcover                 978-1-5144-1901-4

                            Softcover                   978-1-5144-1900-7

                            eBook                        978-1-5144-1899-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 11/16/2015

Xlibris

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Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

References

This book is dedicated to my late brother, Jim.

I am sorry for your suffering; you deserved more. I hope that

my healing and the healing this book may bring to others will make your spirit smile.

Acknowledgements

I want to thank the many individuals who helped with proofreading both the first and second edition of this manuscript, and special thanks to Michelle Beckert for her assistance. To Lisa Dawn T Seguin whose strong encouragement helped me start the book-writing process. To my mentor Dr. Nina Garci who helped me trust my intuition and complete this extended addition. Your positive guidance is unparalleled. To Susan Mullins for always understanding and supporting me. A true friend; I don’t know what I would do without you. To my office mates: Andrea Holmes, Mary Ellen Baker-Gayne, and Suzan Alexander-my family away from home-I love you all! To my psychodrama family: thank you for your love and acceptance. Dr. Marci Krop Cook for her love and support and for always remembering March 15.

A special thank you to Christine M. Stockton for taking time to write such a creative poem specifically for my book! I am sincerely honored.

I want to thank the many clients that have allowed me the privilege to be a part of their lives in a deeply personal way. It is an honor and a joy to share in your healing and growth. Many of you have shown great courage and strength. I have learned much from each of you.

A special thanks to my husband for walking with me through the many twists and turns life has taken. To my kindhearted stepson, bless you.

I especially want to express my gratitude to my two boys for the gift of being their mother. You are both the light of my world, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. My greatest hope for each of you is that you become your best self and live your life to the fullest!

Introduction

Your interest in this book suggests that you want something different or are seeking continued ways to grow and enrich your life. I am hopeful that this handbook will provide you with tools to change aspects of your life that need change; enhance areas that are already going well, and possibly develop some new skills for living a life full and free.

While many people are in pursuit of happiness, it often eludes them. People seem to be constantly seeking it, often looking outside of themselves for this thing called happiness. Being happy or happiness is just a feeling like any other feeling, such as anger, frustration, and joy. Feelings are temperamental. They come and go, sometimes quite quickly.

I will introduce many components that influence your ability to be happy. No one chapter is a quick fix, but blending the ideas of each chapter into a whole is sure to help you improve the overall quality and direction of your life.

The information presented in this book is an accumulation of resources I often use when working with clients. It does not seem to matter what their presenting issue is; usually, somewhere in their work, we use many of the tools displayed here. It was only as I attempted to concretize the information into written form that I was then encouraged to create the original book.

For several years now I have desired to fine tune my original writing. In doing so I was aware of wanting to keep the conciseness intact. Hence, I realized this is more of a handbook, A Handbook for Self-Improvement! Who couldn’t use some self-improvement is my thought! I liken this to attending your yearly physical check-up; this is your mental health check-up!

The subtitle Become the Active Director of Your life is the essence of not only this book, but of my teaching and encouragement with my client’s and always my intention for myself. There are already so many aspects of life we cannot control. Being the Active Director of Your Life is the best you can do. We each have within our grasp the ability to monitor and change many aspects of ourselves. This includes not only our inward character but also how we respond and interact with others.

My hope for each of you is that you will consider viewing happiness as something more than just a passing feeling. Being truly happy with your life involves you feeling more in control of the direction your life is going. This is the essence of the book—becoming more of the active director of your life. Remember: you have the power to change what you think and believe. May this book be a blessing to you.

This poem is a great warm-up to the concepts presented in this handbook.

Be Happy Now!

It’s easy to say,

But not easy to do.

No matter the odds,

To stand up for you.

Be happy now!

Don’t give in to fear,

Don’t give into the shame.

Stuff happens sometimes,

There’s no one to blame.

Be happy now!

Grab on to this chance,

Take a hold of your choices.

Speak up when you can,

In the loudest of voices.

Be happy now!

No one can stop you,

They can’t take it away.

If you decide to stand up now,

And be happy today.

Be happy now!

Christine M. Stockton

2015

Chapter 1

Are You Getting What You Want Out of Life?

But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?

—Albert Camus

What Path Is Your Life Following?

Whether you are aware or not you are either wondering aimlessly on a life path that you only inadvertently stumbled upon or you are an active part of creating and directing that path. Which is true for you?

Asking yourself what path you’re on will help you identify the areas in your life that are being fulfilled and going in the direction you want. It will also help you address the areas in your life that you are not happy with or the aspects of your life in which you know you are not living up to your full potential. Only you can decide when you are ready to take responsibility for where you are in life and where you want to be.

It is important to evaluate your life. If you do not, then you will just