Heaven, Can You Hear Heaven?

By Lynette Marie

This is the story of a little girl named Heaven. Traumatized by the death of her grandparents and the eventual abuse at the hands of an uncle, heaven struggles to find her place in a world haunted by flashbacks of a childhood filled with physical and sexual abuse. She witnesses the mistreatment of her mother by family and tries to grapple with feelings of being an outcast. One evening, at church she meets a boy who helps navigate her through a terrible youth while she wars with the idea of ending her life.

This book is based on a true story. No one should assume that this work is fiction or non-fiction. It is clearly memories and some imaginations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514467909

Lynette Marie

Lynette Marie is a first time author. She began to know God at the age of 4 and believed that God was her provider. She began writing poems and lyrics at the age of 12. She is a single parent and resides in California. She thanks God almighty for giving her the strength and ability to complete this book.

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Copyright © 2016 by Lynette Marie.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 02/17/2016

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CONTENTS

Chapter One: Heaven, Can You Hear Heaven?

Chapter Two: Heaven’s Father

Chapter Three: Feet Washed and Doublemint Gum

Chapter Four: Heaven’s World and Her Bright Light

Chapter Five: No Lazarus Effect Here

Chapter Six: Grandpa’s Broken Heart

Chapter Seven: Heaven’s Mother

Chapter Eight: Eight Personalities Plus More

Chapter Nine: God, Church, Love, and Readings

Chapter Ten: Wandering Hands

Chapter Eleven: From Ohio Back to Illinois

Chapter Twelve: The Man across the Street

Chapter Thirteen: Moving around Decatur

Chapter Fourteen: The Nightmare Begins

Chapter Fifteen: Left for Dead

CHAPTER ONE

Heaven, Can You Hear Heaven?

H EAVEN WAS A girl who had a few tragedies, misfortunes, and failures in her life. But she learned that other people had a worse life than hers; therefore, she refused to complain. As a child, she would sit in the backyard under a huge oak tree and talk to God. She always wondered if God could hear her. She would cry out to the Lord her God, her Father in heaven. She would also ask Jesus if he could hear her too. Heaven’s soul would cry out to God. One day, Heaven felt that God was not listening to her. So she climbed the big oak tree that was in her backyard and said, Lord, can you see me? Because if you can, then I know that you hear me! She told God that her soul was weary before she was born. She pointed up to heaven and yelled out that her soul had never stopped whining. Heaven thought life comes with limitations, restrictions, and instructions. She believed that God wrote the Bible so that humans can have basic instructions before leaving earth. She felt it was to make her life easy, fulfilled, and satisfied. She always believed that God loved her so much and wanted her to succeed in life. On a Sunday afternoon, after attending church services, Heaven felt puzzled about a scripture from the Bible referring to slaves. Slavery no longer existed, but she said she felt like one. Heaven said that she was born free, but why did she feel like a slave in a cage, a cage that gave her no freedom? She felt that her life was like a battlefield because people tried to defeat, sabotage, and destroy her image. It was so hard for her to understand why she was always somebody’s target. She felt that her life was bitter when it should be sweet. Heaven had climbed as far as she could to the top of an old oak tree. She closed her eyes and said that if she could fly like the birds and the bees, she would take her problems away to the top of the trees. She smiled and said that she would live in the sky, and no one would hear her cry. Then she yelled out, God loved the world. He gave her a song to sing! It was her victory song. Heaven had this incredible notion of her life and a horrible one too. She could hardly even believe all that had happened to her. Her life centered on the most beautiful ideas of one of God’s creations. She pointed at herself and said that she was God’s beautiful creation. A creation that loved life and believed that she deserved happiness in her life.

Heaven had a few bad memories and many wonderful memories during her lifetime. Some memories she wanted to forget, while others she would close her eyes to recapture them. Her life had ups and downs. She felt it was full of roller coasters and merry-go-rounds. She would imagine going to the park and getting on the swings and slides, running around freely and not trying to hide, skating on the concrete and dangling upside down on the monkey bars, taking a walk on the beach and adoring the sand, entering the water and blending in with the waves, and stepping out into the warm sun that bronzed her skin. The sun would give her that radiant glow from deep within. These were activities under the sun that turned her most sullen face into a happy face. Heaven felt that God had given her many faces. A loving, energetic, smiling, gentle, angry, and beautiful face. Her hair, eyes, cheeks, lips, and loving and kind heart were beautiful accessories that she possessed. She thought her life was okay and good, but she still asked herself if her life was really okay. She climbed down from the oak tree. As she spun around in circles, she started to laugh out loud. Then she said that her life was good and that it’s the best thing ever. She proclaimed that it was the most outstanding gift from God. She believed that you have to know, love, and trust in God. She believed that Satan was in this world causing a perilous, futureless syndrome. She thought he was only here to destroy everyone’s lives, keep people down, and make them like zombies around. She said that he was a nobody as long as you have God on your side. She didn’t want to ruin her life. She would constantly seek the Lord so she could find him and receive peace and happiness. She asked God to educate her and put her under his angelic protection. She tried so hard not to take the broad road or go on a trip that would lead to nothing. She did not want to upset God or piss him off because all of her support came from God. Heaven believed that God would give her the best. She trusted in God so much, and that was the only reason she could lay her head down at night and rest.

Heaven had relatives that made her so frazzle about life. Some were pathetic, nonbenevolent, and full of animosity and lies. Some she had a long handle spoon on reserve for them. Some she ignored, forgot, or deleted from her life. Some she could not stand or tolerate. Some she adored and loved to death. Some tried to disperse, sell, trade, or take her happiness as if they owned it. Some used, abused, and disowned her. Some tried to block the progression of her life. Some loved her but was too selfish to let her know. Others told her that they hated her, and they showed it very well. Heaven knew that her life was the result of God’s kindness. It’s not what blessing blockers, ditch diggers, jealous frenemies, envious fools, shit starters, and wicked people wished her life to become. It was only what she chose it to be. Heaven would walk tall with her head high, and she thanked God for being gracious to her. Once all her relatives turned on her, she ran to her bedroom, threw herself on the floor, and cried so loud. Heaven’s mother, Miriam, reminded her that God gave her strength to go on. Heaven said that her relatives were spreading lies and rumors and persecuting her to death. Miriam promised Heaven that God would be on her side and make things right. She told her that whenever she couldn’t walk, God would carry her. Heaven stopped crying, wiped her eyes, and stood up and thanked God for caring for her. At that very moment, Heaven went into some type of trance and collapsed to the floor. Miriam picked her up and laid her on the bed. Heaven slept for several days. When she awoke, she didn’t talk for a week. Miriam worried so much because Heaven wasn’t laughing, talking, and being a prankster anymore. A few days later, while they were eating dinner, Heaven smiled and said that she was so thankful that she was alive. She softly said that the Lord would remain right by her side. She said that God would wake her up every morning and give her a reason to try hard to achieve her every goal. She said that if she failed, she would try over and over again until she succeeded. She paused, looked at her mother, Miriam, and told her that she was dying to live.

CHAPTER TWO

Heaven’s Father

H EAVEN CONSTANTLY ASKED her mother, Miriam, about her father, Ignatius. She had not seen him since she was two years old. He had a love for horses, baseball, singing in the choir, and fast cars. Ignatius’s dad had bought him a racehorse when he was ten years old. He named her Penny. He would get up every morning and tend to her. He treated her as if she was human. There was an old dirt road that he would take Penny and race her. Every day, he would challenge his horse penny to increase her speed. He had the desire to one day race in a national derby. He and Penny only made it to the local races. He played baseball in middle school and high school. The first base had his name written all over it. He was an amazing player. He was offered several times to go pro, but he turned it down. He thought he and Penny would someday be famous. He also sang in the church choir. He was part of a singing group called the GQs. They would sing their hearts out to the Lord every Sunday. As a teenager, he became dedicated to drag racing. He was addicted to driving fast cars. His first was a green and white ’53 Pontiac. He later bought a brown ’54 Ford and a green and white Packard Clipper. The Packard Clipper was a very fast car responsible for winning the local drag racing contest. He bought a Buick Special and drag raced Miriam’s brothers, Sebastian and Xavier. They crashed, and their race cars spun out of control, crashed into a fence, and then landed in a ditch. That race was almost deadly for Sebastian and Xavier. They crawled out of the car with no injuries. Ignatius swore that he would never race them again. He also owned several other cars but sold them all and moved to Ohio. He bought a ’72 Oldsmobile Starfire and a blue Plymouth Satellite while living in Sandusky, Ohio. When Heaven was born, he bought a black Buick Electra 225 and