Mad at God

By David M. Leyden

Over the past few years, as I have worked with teens and young adults, I have witnessed an increasing sense of restlessness and despair in young people in todays world. They feel rejected by a world that many of them view as cold, sterile, uncaring and void of love.

Physical activity as a form of recreation is being replaced by thumbs tapping on keypads. True friends are being replaced by media acquaintances. Teens find themselves trapped in a world where morals are eroding and electronic bullying is the standard. Music, movies, YouTube and social media celebrate sex, violence and evil. The family unit is becoming a thing of the past. The world, as they see it, is spiraling out of control and there is nowhere for them to turn for moral guidance and love.

More and more teens tell me they are disillusioned by the world they live in and many have lost hope. Increasingly high school students are considering suicide.

Because of the violence and corruption done in the name of religion today, many young people reject God as an answer to their hopelessness. They want no part of a God who would create a world like the one they live in today.

Mad At God is about one such teenager. It is my hope that this book will help teenagers discover the truth about God. This book gives honest and straightforward answers to the questions teens are asking about God today. They are challenging and frank questions that demand answers. It has been my experience, that once their questions are answered, teens begin to look at God in a different light.

Many teens today are uncertain and fearful about the future. They are bombarded with images of a world coming to an end. I have included a section in this book that outlines the future for the world, as set out in the Bible, in a manner that is logical and easy for young people to understand. Once presented with this information many teens discover their need for God.

The purpose of this book is to help teens find faith in God. If they are mad at God, perhaps they wont be after reading this book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493152797

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by David M. Leyden.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2013922593

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4931-5278-0

                Softcover        978-1-4931-5277-3

                eBook             978-1-4931-5279-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Front and back cover photography by David M. Leyden.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Rev. date: 06/23/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Endnotes

Dedication

To my wife, my best friend and companion in life, Joyce, and to our children Lori and Michael, and our grandchildren; Sydney, Brenna, Jamie and Kalan.

And to God, for inspiring me to write this book.

Introduction

Over the past few years, as I have worked with teens and young adults, I have witnessed an increasing sense of restlessness and despair in young people in today’s world. They feel rejected by a world that many of them view as cold, sterile, uncaring and void of love.

Physical activity as a form of recreation is being replaced by thumbs tapping on keypads. True friends are being replaced by media acquaintances. Teens find themselves trapped in a world where morals are eroding and electronic bullying is the standard. Music, movies, YouTube and social media celebrate sex, violence and evil. The family unit is becoming a thing of the past. The world, as they see it, is spiraling out of control and there is nowhere for them to turn for moral guidance and love.

More and more teens tell me they are disillusioned by the world they live in and many have lost hope. Increasingly high school students are considering suicide.

Because of the violence and corruption done in the name of religion today, many young people reject God as an answer to their hopelessness. They want no part of a God who would create a world like the one they live in today.

Mad At God is about one such teenager. It is my hope that this book will help teenagers discover the truth about God. This book gives honest and straightforward answers to the questions teens are asking about God today. They are challenging and frank questions that demand answers. It has been my experience, that once their questions are answered, teens begin to look at God in a different light.

Many teens today are uncertain and fearful about the future. They are bombarded with images of a world coming to an end. I have included a section in this book that outlines the future for the world, as set out in the Bible, in a manner that is logical and easy for young people to understand. Once presented with this information many teens discover their need for God.

The purpose of this book is to help teens find faith in God. If they are mad at God, perhaps they won’t be after reading this book.

Chapter One

She sat alone on a log, disillusioned and lonely but most of all she was angry with God. Her anger shrouded the beauty and serenity that surrounded her as the sun’s rays streamed through the early morning mist settling in the majestic Canadian Rocky Mountain valley. She was immersed in the blackness of her despair. She had allowed her anger toward God to consume her.

Why did God let this happen? How could He allow him to die, now, when she needed him most? He was not only her father; he was also her best friend, her companion in life. How could a God of love allow this to happen? If God really cared for her, He wouldn’t have put her through such anguish.

Rachel had thought a lot about God. Her father had often spoken about Him. She knew her father believed in God and had always wanted her to believe in Him, too. He had said that his life would be complete the day she invited God into her life. She felt sad and guilty that she had not done what her father had wanted her to do. She had always done what he asked of her. But somehow this was different.

She wasn’t sure why she had been so hesitant. Her father had always given her good advice. He had always done what was best for her. She had begun to think that maybe she should take his advice and ask God into her confused life. She had wanted the love, understanding and contentment that her father said he received when he asked God into his life. She desired to feel the love and peace she saw in her father’s eyes whenever he spoke of what God had done for him. She marveled at how he always had a cheerful outlook, even in the worst circumstances.

She remembered seeing his happiness and his love and thinking there must be something to all this God stuff if it could make a person feel like that. She had even considered reading the Bible her father had given her.

But now she wanted no part of this God; this God who had shattered her spirit and brought such devastation to her life. He was not her God!

Tears ran down her cheeks and she watched them fall among the delicate wildflowers carpeting the mountainside meadow. Her world had been taken away in an instant. She felt numb, unloved: unlovable. She felt empty.

She had looked up to her father more than any other person in the world. He was her hero, the light in her darkness. He was her dad!

He was the only person that really understood her. He had loved her no matter what she did or what mistakes she made. He had loved her even when she was having trouble loving herself. He had always been there when she needed someone to be proud of her. And now he was gone and she was alone!

Where was this God of her father’s now, when He was really needed? Her Dad had always trusted God and been faithful to Him. Why hadn’t God protected him on the highway that night? Why hadn’t God been faithful to him? Why had God deserted her father at the very time he needed Him the most? Why had He deserted her?

Her father had spent his life serving God, and what did God give him in return? Nothing! He left him to die on a cold, dark, rainy highway, alone. What kind of God would do something like that in return for a life of service?

Her father had said God would ease her pain in times of suffering. Well, she was suffering now, more than she thought possible, and there was no God easing her pain. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she wanted nothing to do with God. The very thought of God made her angry.

Her Dad had always been right about everything else. How could he have been so wrong about God?

As she sat crying alone on the log, cocooned in her suffering, a breath of air stirred the blades of grass around her. Her attention shifted to the grass rustling against her bare feet, and a strange feeling crept into her aching soul: a feeling that she was no longer alone. She tried to dismiss the feeling but it only grew in intensity. So to rid herself of this annoyance she glanced up expecting to confirm her solitude. But to her surprise, she saw through her tears, the silhouette of a man! It can’t be a man, she thought. There’s no one around here for miles.

She blinked away her tears and gasped. She was shocked to discover that she was not alone! An old man sat beside her on the log!

He sat gazing out at the distant snow-capped peaks with a look of contentment on his face as if unaware of her presence. Her heart pounded in her ears. She searched her mind to make sense of the situation. Her thoughts collided.

Who is this man? Where did he come from? How did he get here? Why is he here?

She felt herself slipping into the grip of fear, but as her eyes flashed back to his face, a strange feeling came over her. A feeling she had never experienced before. The peace and kindness in the old man’s eyes drew her in. Captured by his serenity, she felt her fear begin to melt.

I should get out of here, she thought. Why am I staying here?

The old man glanced at her with a warm smile and then returned his focus to the radiance and warmth of the alpine valley. Love filled his soul. The glory of the presence of God radiated in the grandeur of the beautiful Rocky Mountain scene and he was thankful for God’s creation.

The old man’s gentle voice broke the silence. Beauty like this has to be shared with someone to be fully appreciated, don’t you think?

Rachel edged away from the stranger. He’s acting like he is supposed to be here; like he knows me and I should know him . . . but I don’t know him. I’ve never laid eyes on him before.

She froze in unsettled silence. She didn’t know how to react or what to say. She needed time to think. She didn’t understand what was happening.

She had always been like that. Sudden changes had always sent her into a tailspin. But this was something else. This made no sense at all. How was she supposed to react to this? It had always frustrated her when she couldn’t make sense of things. But a stranger just appearing out of nowhere, for no apparent reason, no one could make sense of this. Her frustration grew as she struggled to sort through her confusion.

There’s one thing I know for sure, she thought, I don’t need some old man around me right now!

So the two sat in silence; she in the bondage of anger, he in the freedom of love.

He knew she needed time to make sense of the situation. He waited and watched the last traces of mist in the valley surrender to the warmth of the morning sun.

Rachel buried her face in her hands, unable to speak. Her mind whirled in confusion. She hated it when she couldn’t understand things.

She was angry. She understood that. She was confused too. But it was more than the man’s unexpected presence that confused her. She couldn’t understand the feeling that stirred inside her when she glanced into his eyes; a strange but comforting feeling. As much as she tried to dismiss it, the feeling remained. None of this made any sense to her.

He sensed the unrest in her soul and his heart went out to her. He wanted to help her. But he knew she needed time, so he waited. Finally, with a compassionate smile, he said, You really do miss him terribly, don’t you?

His words pierced Rachel’s thoughts and she froze.

What did he say? Does he know about my dad?

What? She turned to the old man. This was too much. She felt her mind going blank. She was losing control.

The old man sensed her bewilderment and he tried to put her mind at rest. I’m speaking about your father, dear. I know you feel lost and lonely without him… like your world has ended.

Rachel whirled in shock. How could he possibly know that? He doesn’t even know me!

This man was a total stranger, yet she sensed that he knew all about her. She had never seen him before, yet he seemed strangely familiar. There was something about him. She sensed he really cared about her. What was it about this old man that had captured her soul?

As she glanced back at him, she was overwhelmed by the feeling that some sort of connection between them had always been there.

He turned and looked at her. As their eyes met a wonderful feeling of lightness overcame her.

She gasped at the strength and suddenness of the feeling. Her vision sparkled and her pulse quickened. She felt faint and her mind reeled. What is happening to me?

Trying to steady her mind and control her thoughts, she blinked and gently shook her head. She looked back at the old man, longing for an explanation. But this time she couldn’t look away. She just stared into his eyes.

Everything is there, she whispered unaware that she was speaking in an audible voice… , it’s all there.

I see myself right there in his eyes, she thought as her hands trembled. Somehow all her feelings and emotions were etched in his eyes! It made no sense, but there in this old man’s eyes she saw herself clearly for the first time. Not her outer self, but her inner self! It was almost as if she stood outside herself looking in. She saw herself differently. She felt compassion for herself.

She could see, by the look on his face, that the old man shared the compassion she felt for herself. She sensed he understood her suffering.

Rachel was confused but it didn’t matter because, for the first time since her father’s death, she felt that somebody really understood her. As if he had climbed into her soul and taken all of her emotions to himself, she could see her anger, hurt and loneliness in his peaceful eyes. She felt his concern for her. She saw the tear roll down his cheek.

Her lips trembled slightly as she asked, You know about my dad, don’t you? You know what has happened to me? You know everything, don’t you?

The old man gently nodded.

Rachel had no idea how he knew but it didn’t really seem important. A soft, distant whisper, like the voice of an angel, drifted into her mind: Don’t be afraid. Everything is all right. He’s supposed to know. A calm floated into her aching soul.

The old man smiled at her. She was moved by the gentleness in his smile. Relief at his understanding overwhelmed her. All her suppressed emotions began to surface as tears welled up in her eyes. One look at his face and she felt like she had finally come home. What is making me feel this way?

Rachel had been longing for someone to understand her. Now he was there and she sensed he understood her completely. She felt the warmth of love, like a glowing ember, deep in the recesses of her heart. For the first time in her life she knew what it was like to feel the presence of God, yet she knew this man could not be God. She felt protected. As she smiled back at him the anger that had been branded on her soul gave way to the gentleness of the love she saw in his eyes. She was at peace. It was good.

Somehow she knew that this was more than just a man. A long-forgotten smile had returned to her face.

Who was this who had so unexpectedly come into her life? And where had he come from? And how had he so stirred her emotions? She explored her thoughts as she took refuge in the protection of his company. Finally she found the courage to ask the question that was burning in her mind, as she whispered, You’re an angel aren’t you?

He hesitated to respond because he knew his answer would trouble her. But she was waiting for an answer, so in a soft voice he said, I’m God’s love sent to you.

Rachel’s body tensed. Her eyes dimmed and her anger returned as she glared at the old man. The gentleness of his love dissipated in her soul. The lines of indignation on her face signaled her contempt for what the old man had said. She recoiled from him, shaking her head.

No!

She covered her face with her hands as she stood and moved away from him. "No! No, you’re not. How can you say that? How can you talk about God sending love to me after what He has done to me?