Is There Love or Not

By Jay Judah

You have given up. Fine. You hate relationships. Fine. Well then, this book is for you. In this book, Is There Love or Not, author Jamal Petty writes to inspire you to love again. This book will embark upon unchartered territory in many lives while giving hope to those whom are seeking a meaningful relationship.
Is There Love or Not deals with three important phases of the relationship:
Dating
Crossing over into commitment
Commitment
Jamal Petty lays down principles on the following:
How to evaluate a new partner
How to determine infatuation
Facing crossover barriers
Defining love and its attributes
Looking for bail-out signs
How to be successful in commitment
How to overcome the fear of closeness
Strategies to ensure peace in the relationship

Im sure you will find this book of a great aid to you and your friends, along with those who have given up on love and dont know where to begin. Well, as a result on following this principles and strategies, you will find yourself with a meaningful relationship moving toward marriage.
In this book, you will find the authors life experiences with the wisdom of God on the matters that will illuminate many dark areas in our lives. Go ahead and enjoy, and get ready for the next book, which will show you how to keep the commitment on fire. Be blessed and be strong. God loves you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503553415

Jay Judah

Jay Judah, author of Is There Love or Not, is a minister of the Gospel of Christ and member of Crescent Avenue Baptist Church in the Bronx, where he resides and is being prepared for the prophets ministry. Reverend Marcia Stanley is the overseeing Pastor of Crescent Avenue Baptist Church. A true worshipper of the Lord and one who dances before the Lord every Sunday morning as the presence and power of God descends upon the people. Jay—brother to Jakeam Davis, Marcus Davis, and Rahsan Martin—was born in Queens Naval Hospital in 1971. He was raised for a few years in New Rochelle, then relocated when he was four to stay with his grandparents, James and Dorothy Petty in the Bronx, New York, where he grew up most of his life. Anointed by God in 1995 with a priestly anointing and then anointed again by God with the Kingly Anointing in June of 1999. Being visited by God in 1999 and receiving revelations of things to come, Jay writes to inspire couples to pursue the best for their relationships for God’s glory. Jay has experienced countless miracles of God, even whereby his glasses for blurred vision were removed in April of 1999. Till this day, Jay has not worn those glasses. Christ Jesus miraculously healed his eyes. He is a son to a one Gail Davis, a retired case manager supervisor who resides in Clearwater, Florida, and Ollie Davis, funeral director servicing clients in Manhattan. He’s also a father of one Choice Gytona Glover, undergrad from St John’s University, and a friend and lover to one Rosa Ramirez (mother to Rashel, Roswell, and Fabricio). Jay aims to lead his family closer to God and into the destiny for their lives. Moreover, he moves to change the perception of love in America with God’s help.

Book preview

PROLOGUE

W ELL HERE WE are with many questions and no answers. Many failed relationships, many broken hearts, in and out marriages, domestic violence, restraining orders, jail, funerals, suicides and more. The failed relationships has plagued us for many years with many sleepless nights, waking up in agony, many tears, and even hating the thought of Love. Wow.

So we do agree we are on a common ground. We sure know how to mess something up, yeh, messing up a relationship. Hmmmm. Well Jay what do you have to assist us in securing a meaning full relationship. Drugs, a pit-bull, shotgun marriage, kill the in laws, Nah. Something simple.

Understanding. Praise God. Understanding about where we are in life, and what we want in life as far as relationships are concerned. You see that is the big question.

What do you want? Do you want a meaningful relationship, do you want just a friend, are you looking for a husband or wife, or are you just trying to date, or are you just looking for a booty call, or are you looking for human trophy? So the question is what are you looking for? What do you expect? What is your vision for this relationship? Are you in it for the moment?

Are you in it for the long haul? Is it forever with you? Or are you just having a good time? Confused and with someone you really don’t love or care for. Hmmmm. What is the situation?

Once you are with a person thoughts arise. What the hell am I doing here? With this girl? With this dude? What have I gotten myself into? Do I really want to be here? Will things just turn out the way things did with my last relationship? Heart broke, pockets broke, fighting, arguing, shoot outs and slashings. Wow.

You say to yourself. I just can’t trust anymore or confide in another. Oh hell, booty call. Don’t text me, don’t call me. Don’t come looking for me. I just want to be left alone. I need my space. Is this you? Is this the thoughts that plague your new relationships? The thoughts that cause them to end before they begin. Ha. Is that all? Well let’s work together in hopes to find true love and establish it in your life.

Does that sound like a plan? Okay then. My name is Jay, the author of this wonderful book. I write to inspire you to love and break away from your past hurts that bind you from knowing a good relationship. The keys I lay down I’m sure you will find helpful. So let’s begin. Where you might ask? With the date of course. The common place most long lasting relationship begin. Yes a date. The place where it all begins.

THE DATE

IS THERE LOVE OR NOT

T HE BIG QUESTION, is there love or not? Many us don’t have the answer. I can recall a friend, he was in and out of relationships. Promising me he would settle down next year. Next year came and nothing. There was prospect he knew which was requesting a ring from him. Yes indeed, a ring for engagement. The most beautiful indian girl, petique adorable young thing. A red bone light skin thing at that.

Unfortunately, he knew he was shot. He knew he didn’t have the capability to love her forever. I approached him in regard and told him about love. His response was, Love, Huh. My friend saw no hope in love, something must have happen to him that scarred his faith and vision of love. Okay, so we do have an issue. This is a global issue. Which produces so many broken homes, and dysfunctional families. Woe.

Does this sound like you? Is your vision blurred and you really can’t see yourself being in Love? Then this book is for you. I recall Domak,{my present girlfriend} saying to me many times after I would say I Love you. Stop. Why? She didn’t believe wholeheartedly in the fact that a man could fall in love with her and her children. Faith scarred, vision blurred.

Most people can only see a date, little romance, the moment and then it is done. That is there vision. Sad but the truth. I’m teary eyed as I write these words, because people we do have an issue and may God use this book to change your life and perspective on Love.

Let’s begin. Love is for you. Love was created for you. And Love is waiting to flow through you to that special someone. Love is waiting to flow through that special someone to your heart and soul. Don’t count yourself out because of that Bimbo. Don’t count yourself out because of that Jerk. They were our stepping stool to propel us into a new found love that you will appreciate and cherish.

Why, because you know what it means to be hurt, you know what it means to be rejected. You know what it means be forsaken. Right, and you know in your heart when that true love comes along you are going to do your best to make it work.

Now that small thought of finding this love should not be crushed. Help is here to re enforce your drive and pursuit of Love. First lets define Love and define the attributes of Love. Once we understand the depth of love, then we begin our search.

Love is God, and God is Love. Love is the deep care and concern for the next persons being. Love is the unique invisible oneness between two people. Love is longsuffering, kind, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and Love beareth all things.

Love won’t give up, Love is a fighter, Love is the force that wraps the soul of another. Love will not rejoice in hate or bitterness. Love will only grow to overtake a couple. Love is a keeper, and Love inspires one to be strong. Love is Joy. Love is Patient and Love is a Winner. Love is a pillar in a Storm refusing to bend, break, or waver.

Alright, that about wraps up Love, we will go more in depth, but you have the idea. We can’t search for something if we don’t really know what it is. Now when we start you are going to run into some characters, now these characters should be weeded during dating. Don’t take them serious, because if you do you will wind up being committed to a person from hell. Going into a marriage just to divorce.

Now people, I don’t want to marry to divorce; therefore, all our baggage and bondage has to be dealt with now. Now I said, so we can enjoy the good life together. Be at peace together, be happy together and grow together. Raise a family together.

DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE

Oh you have given up too. It’s okay, I have many friends who have given up on love like yourself. It’s quite alright. You are not alone. Some of my friends laugh at love, some scorn at love and some don’t even mention the word. We have given up on the reality of love or someone loving us.

When I was about 14 years of age I can remember giving up on love in front of my home mirror. I declared to myself openly that I will never love again. Even though I was so young naive the declaration held much weight and validity. These type of statements can destroy the course of you love journey.

I had met a young high yellow African American girl. Her name was Tina. She lived with her parents in Motthaven area of the Bronx. I would go over her house after school to spend time with her. We were very intimate at a young age. She was about 14 years of age herself. Tina had this cute Halle Berry haircut with the sides shaved and a Koofe.

And boy could she dress. Looking like a Kid and Play dancer with her baggy pants and poke a dot blouses. She had my little behind going. One day we were together at her house and I met her father. Like many fathers he took a protective stand to ensure the successful growth of his child.

He didn’t want some kid knocking up his daughter, any good father would want the same. Career and marriage before childrearing is a good model to follow. Her father and I didn’t see eye to eye. Immediately he verbally attacked me and told his daughter to leave me alone. I left that day.

The following day I returned and Tina opened the door. She didn’t let me in as she normally would do, but told me she couldn’t see me and slammed the door in my face. Woe. I was crushed. As a young kid I was really feeling this girl.

Directly after that I went back to Mitchell projects where I lived. Stormed upstairs went into the bathroom and started crying. Some real heartbroken throwing up type crying. Then I looked into the mirror and said something that would destroy the very moral fiber of my masculine being. I said, I will never love again.

From that point on females only meant one thing to me, fun. Marriage was out the window, a meaningful relationship, went out the window. Being faithful to one woman went out the window. The hurt and pain I felt I refused to feel ever again. I refused to be a woman’s victim ever again.

For now on, I would be the victimer, the womanizer. Every woman I met after that, I couldn’t see the longevity of the relationship. I couldn’t see tying the knot. All I saw was the moment. I had given up on love.

All I could remember was being with boys in the hood. Hanging on the stoop looking at all the female prospects like cattle. We were like vampires, something like the Lost Boys. And boy were we lost. They saw no commitment and I saw no commitment.

From a child and teenager this upbringing can breed a vicious cycle of misuse for any side of the sex. At young age we brainwashed to believe dating and immediate gratification is the last stop for us on the love trail.

Then over a period of time getting a mate for sex and money becomes the main achievement. Anything else after that is not of much value or interest. To see the Glory of God in this potential mate has become oblivious to many. Today I stand waiting to see the glory of God in Domak.

It is so easy to fall out of the race after much dating and wrestling over crossover discussions. I don’t want to be in relationship right now. I just want to be free. Then we bounce right back to square one. Been there. I have bounced back to square one. Yet my eyes were still on the prize while on the date.

Even on one of my dates with Damaris we went to the mall in Paramus New Jersey. It was a rainy chilly night. She wanted to stop by her house, her and her ex husband purchased together when they were married. We did and then headed to the mall.

While in the mall she had to do her woman thing. Forever 21, H & M, and JC penny. Oh Jay can you buy me three blouses? Sure why not. I bought her three blouses. During our shopping crusade, I stopped by the diamond section.

Now people I was dating Damaris since Domak and I separated. Talking and going out. In my mind I said let me see what she is focused on. I was speaking to the jeweler in regards to diamond carat size. 1 carat, 2 carat even 4 carat. The jeweler was explaining to me the size of this 4 carat and how enormous it would be.

I called Damaris to come view the rocks since she previously stated that her husband would have to buy her a 4 carat diamond ring for her to get married. Okay, well Damaris here is a jeweler what do you think about these rings.

Immediately, she shunned and back down. This is funny. Females run all the round the mall spending up your money and soon as you stop at the diamond store it’s like they get poop in their draws. Visa Versa for men, I believe it puts a person in deep contemplation concerning their future and with whom will they spend it.

The first thing Damaris told the jeweler was, Oh Miss we are just friends and not even boyfriend and girlfriend. People the angle she came from had me twisted inside. She couldn’t take a second to look at diamonds with me.

My mind was maturing and I was focused on the prize. I knew I needed to find a potential candidate for my purposes in life and ministry. I couldn’t give up on love, I just couldn’t. My heart was just thrown to the gutter by Domak in May but I was back on the pursuit for a queen, a potential wife, a true love.

If I had to turn over every rock, every couch, under every car; of the truth, I will find that special someone. There had to be some soul especially created for my purpose in life. Just waiting to be engaged, just waiting to know love.

THE SOUL MATE

That was my believe, I knew God had to raise up a woman for me. Personally. A perfect mesh, not a perfect woman. There is no perfect man or woman. Now if you looking for Superman you might as well go to your nearest DVD store and rent the Christopher Reeve collection. Den den den dne den deee. And fly away in your mind because only men you meet are human just like you.

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