Wicked Stories

By Douglas G. Barnett

These stories are suspense thrillers with a touch of black humor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503566750

Douglas G. Barnett

Douglas G. Barnett is an Anglo-American born and raised in Peru who one day literally decided to make his dreams come true. His stories are recollections of constant nightmares, therefore deciding to make it a habit writing them down at any given hour of the night. After seeing the amount of stories, he was animated then to give them a twist of black humor. Then masterminding these, he also got familiarized to write them when awake in the day.

Book preview

AN UNFINISHED INVESTIGATION

By Douglas Barnett

Where? To what?

Standing guard in case this serial killer should come back.

Have you considered how long that could be?

Could well be over a year.

Very boring, don’t you agree, looking after an old lady in her apartment for so long.

I was thinking of studying something.

Like what, business administration?

Oh, come on, Lucas. Can´t you think of something more interesting?

Yeah… like what?

The human brain, for instance.

The human brain? I´ve heard that takes seven years at least.

Well then take a more advanced course.

Armand, you´re out of your mind! I think I´ll study yours.

All right with me.

You´ve got to be kidding—Dr. Armand Ascate and me Dr. Lucas Fishbourne. I thought we were cops.

I know, but what good is it being cops if we don’t DO anything?

Well then that´s what we´ll do. We’ll play doctors for as long as it takes.

Have you seen how they cut open this part of the brain?

I´ve been seeing that. Very interesting.

Everything I´ve read has been fascinating, Dr. Armand.

Detective First Class Armand calls him back, and they share a good chuckle.

Now back to more serious work.

Quite right, answers Fishbourne.

See this? This serial is still on the job, says Lucas Fishbourne.

He sure is, answers the other. And he’s becoming more sadistic.

I wonder what part of his brain is doing all this?

Now don´t get so technical, answers Ascate. We´re still cops, too, you know.

Quite so, Officer Ascate. Could it be that now I think more like a doctor than a policeman?

It’s been well over a year we’ve hiding here, expecting him at any moment, which never comes.

But he will, Lucas. He´s never let any of his targets off the hook. Just remember, he doesn’t know she fainted just as she was about to open the door on him that time, so he could very well believe that she´s seen him.

Yeah, you´re right.

Man, who are those big lights for?

Apartment 302.

Maybe she can´t see much anymore, says the man in charge of security.

Hurry back with the food this time. It took you ages the other day.

Why? Are you scared of being alone? answers Fishbourne.

No, it´s that I want to go over some important discoveries I´ve come up with.

You´re really serious about this, aren´t you? I can see where one can get the medical equipment, but what about anesthesia and like?

Rainbow. He owes us a lot. This must be his doing.

Oh, definitely. Armand, you certainly have it all thought out.

You were right. It would have been so boring being just a couple of dumb cops. Look at what we’re reading now, how much we´ve acquired, of course, it´s been twenty hours a day, non-stop learning. Learning… What a wonderful thought. The brain is an amazing organ.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Lucas. But reading is better than talking. So they train their eyes again on the huge books set before them.

These exercises are killing.

If we don´t, though, you know what will happen, and thirty minutes a day is not that much.

If the brain needs it, my dear Armand, we must do it.

You´re reading faster than I am now.

I´m younger.

Not that much younger. Next thing you´ll be saying you have a bigger brain.

Armand, I hadn´t thought of that one.

When one snoozes off the other wakes him up—that´s how hard they´re going at it.

Quiet… I hear something.

You’re mind’s playing tricks on you.

No, it´s not. Please… Don´t even breath.

They approach the door very quietly. Both are wide-eyed, and each has a finger on his lips. Someone’s trying to get in.

The two wait patiently till finally the door opens and in comes a burly figure into the hall. The two jump on him, one of them knocking him out cold with his revolver.

What if he´s just a thief?

Lucas, look at his aspect. In all of your years as a cop have you ever seen a thief that looks like this?

I can’t say. Probably my way of seeing things has changed.

It’s simple then. Let’s tie him up on the bed, and when he wakes up and sees what we’re going to do to him…

Once he´s awake they explain how they plan to proceed with him.

His screams are so loud that they have to tape his mouth, and at that moment the old woman from the apartment in sheer terror has somehow managed to crawl to the front door.

They look at each other and shrug their shoulders as if to say, That operation didn´t go very well. With all their doctor’s gear on—face masks, scalpels in hand, headlamps, gloves—they turn to the serial killer, who has begun furiously jotting down the names and places of all his crimes, Armand says, "Let´s see how it goes with this other one. If worst comes to worst we could always label one in our files as an UNFINISHED INVESTIGATION.

SHORTY

By Douglas Barnett

It´s made to look like one, and a bad one at that.

Those your final words on this crime, Captain Bartel?

Who´d hang himself so low, chief? And look at the knot. You´d take better care of yourself.

About the low hanging, says the chief, a short person then?

A shorty, yeah, chief. But it could be a throw-off, too, like, say, a very tall person.

But we do agree with what we see here, that it was one person who committed the crime.

That we do, chief, no doubt about it.

Take over then, Bartel, and keep me in the loop. I want to know even the slightest detail.

By the way, chief, we could also be looking for a policeman.

That gives me the shivers, captain. What on earth gave you that idea?

Just the thought of this man, working in the crime lab, sir.

Yes, captain, I see. Well, there´s no better man fit for this case.

It´s very gratifying for me to hear that, chief.

From the look on your face, captain, I would say you want me to start immediately.

Well, Yuppary, you know the drill. I´ll be at the labs. This man was a good, hardworking man. He deserves to have his murderer brought to justice, but anyway, go through all the details. And yes, I´m sure it was a murder.

This leaves Officer Yuppary bewildered as he and all the other officers believed it to be a suicide."

The captain ought to know. He usually does, says one, to which another replies, Usually? I would say always.

And as always I´d better get cracking. You guys finish up here, and as the captain would say, on the double. And with this Officer Yuppary rushes off to headquarters to dig into the dead man’s life—if he owed money to anyone, had enemies, or was getting a divorce. Who is to know what goes on in the life of an expert lab man, especially one well-liked by all, always on the job and getting it done immaculately. It was a big loss for the police force.

You were right, boss, as usual. I haven´t found anything that could have driven him to commit suicide, so murder seems to be the only call.

I knew we were on the right track. You see, Yuppary, I also knew him quite well. Anyway, what did he have in the way of investigations going on?I knew you´d ask, sir. They’re here.

Here, Yuppary, you go through these.

He precisely divvies up the files and they go through them over the next few days, after which they are left with many that still need looking into. As the narrowing down seems to be taking forever they just look at each other and shrug.

At this point Captain Bartel, who is convinced they have overlooked something important, decides they should repeat the process, this time with more personnel. He´s startled by a short detective who thinks he´s found something interesting.

Bartel eyes him suspiciously, which Officer Yuppary finds amusing as he had overheard a conversation between Bartel and the Chief of Police. Noticing this, Bartel snaps out of it to see what this detective has to say.

This case here, says the short detective, wasn’t wrapped up correctly.

Bartel doesn´t undertand.

Well, captain, all these cases have been reviewed by a special force called DING—During Investigation Nationwide Graphic—and they put their seal on all of these.

So? says Bartel.

Well, sir, on this one there is no seal, yet the case is closed.

Bartel examines the papers closely, puzzled by the fact he doesn´t know about any of this.

It´s a recent thing, sir. There´re new rules now for certain cases.

Bartel doesn´t like the part about certain cases.

So he says, Let’s cut the DING and see who was responsible for the investigation leading up to the moment when these people were killed.

The search for that information turns up classified.

To hell with that. Who´s classified this?

My guess? It was DING themselves.

And who the hell do I see there? reproaches Bartel.

They’re here, at this address, sir, replies the short detective. Bartel bends down to take the address, eyeing him and thanking him at the same time.

Get a car to take us there.

On the way Lieutenant Yuppary is concerned by how annoyed the boss seems.

How dare they make these changes behind my back.

Yuppary stands there open mouthed, saying, Probably we haven´t seen these new rulings.

Check it out on our return.

An hour later they arrive at DING’s headquarters.

I´ve never even seen this building.

Nor have I, says Yuppary.

They walk around the large building for some time till they find the entrance, but when they go inside there´s a meeting going on, full of officers all waving their hands in the air. Apparently the man who´s just spoken can´t raise his hands due to an injury, so he lifts them halfway, much to everyone’s amusement. Whatever the intention of the laughter, he doesn´t seem to mind.

Bartel and Yupary talk about how this man fits to a Tee the profile of the murderer. The tall man, which he is, the short man too if he were to hang somebody his handicap would allow that, and of course policeman and putting a lid on it all, to their shock their follows his nickname, which they are all shouting as he´s just been given an important assignment to get the worst criminals:

GO GET THEM, SHORTY!

BANKING PRECISELY

By Douglas Barnett

Okay, Ron… Is it all right if I call you by your first name?

Well, yes, answers Ron Gibbs, manager of the Hillsboro Northern Branch Bank.

Well then, how about we all call each other by our first names, says Mr. Felder Marshall. Right, Ron. Ian and I want a loan of two and a half million dollars.

All right then, Felder, where is your guarantee?

Here is the guarantee.

Ron takes a look at it. Eventually he says they will need to check into it further, to which Felder and Ian Hancock agree.

After the meeting, Felder and Ian stop at a bar a few streets down.

Do you think he´ll bite?

Ian, I’m better at reading people than you. I´m sure he´ll, as you say, bite. You´ve done a good job with the papers. Just leave it to me and I´ll guarantee the rest.

It´s always a pleasure doing business with you, Felder.

Likewise, answers Felder. Here´s to success. They toast their endeavor a couple more times and are off.

In the street Ian