At Eden's Gate: Whole Health and Well-Being

By Evelyn Maxwell M.N.

Self-Improvement Health Spirituality

A Holistic Approach to Wellness for Every Person

In todays world, there are pills or powders for almost all ills. But many people prefer to avoid medications. Mrs. Maxwell has done a masterpiece of research and writing for just such persons. In clear style she describes how to coordinate the necessary resources for health--proper nutrition, exercise, rest, nurture of mind and spirit, and positive interpersonal relations. If you are interested in a balanced and healthy lifestyle, read this book!

Grace H. Ketterman, M.D.

Psychiatrist and author of two dozen popular books

Discover mind-body connections

Increase understanding of mental health

Learn stress reduction methods

Step out of vicious circles

Improve communication skills

Reduce interpersonal conflicts

Enjoy significant others

Learn how to help others change

Learn how essential nutrients enhance health

Enlarge your library list of resources

Appreciate common values of other faiths

Improve work and community relations

Resolve religious quandaries

Become spiritually alive

Recommended reading for helping professionals

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 10, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512726558

Evelyn Maxwell M.N.

Evelyn Maxwell has a bachelor of science in nursing and a master’s degree in mental health nursing from the University of Kansas. She brings a variety of experience to her work: marriage and family, nursing, private counseling, group facilitation, teaching at Marymount College in the Department of Nursing, Salina, Kansas, and a broad religious background. Insights from her journey on the path to well-being enrich this self-help, whole health handbook for all who are interested in personal growth. She has served as a member of the Board of Directors of Prairie View Mental Health Center, Newton, Kansas, and as city commissioner and mayor of Salina. She and Dr. Maxwell have been married more than sixty years. They have four children and four grandchildren.

Book preview

AT

EDEN'S

GATE:

WHOLE HEALTH AND WELL-BEING

UPDATED AND EXPANDED EDITION

Evelyn Maxwell, M.N.

Cover Photo by Evelyn Maxwell

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Copyright © 2016 Evelyn Maxwell, M.N.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure the accuracy and completeness of information contained in this book, we assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are unintentional. The Web addresses (URLs) are solely offered as a resource to the reader. The citation of these websites does not in any way imply an endorsement on the part of the author or the publisher, neither does the author nor the publisher vouch for their content for the life of this book.

Vignettes in this book are fictionalized from the author's experiences or used with permission of patients whose names are changed to protect their privacy.

The information provided is for educational purposes only. You need to seek the counsel of your health care professional before you use any recommendation found in this book.

This book contains general information related to health conditions and treatments and is for educational use or as a supplement to professional care. It not personalized advice and is not intended to replace advice, care or treatment by health professionals. Before using advice found in this book, you need to confer with your healthcare professional. If you have an illness, specific questions or concerns, do not delay in consulting your physician.

This is a revised, updated, and expanded edition of the book published in 1997 under the title At Eden's Gate: Whole Health and Well-Being.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2655-8 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 2/23/2016

CONTENTS

Forms

Illustrations

Bible Abbreviations and Quotation References

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

At Eden's Gate

Lilies of the Valley

God's Ways: Stepping Stones to Well-Being

The Stone of Confrontation: Nobody's Fault

Flagstones on the Path: Factors and Warnings

Physical Stepping Stones: Basic to Well-Being

Habitual Stepping Stones: ABC's for Whole Health

Relational Stepping Stones: Steps to Change

Stepping Stones to Eden: Spiritual Life and Growth

Afterword

Appendix A The Variety of Foods Required to Meet Nutritional Needs

Appendix B Review of 2015 USDA Food Guide

Appendix C Stepping Out of Vicious Circles

Appendix D Self-Esteem Research

Appendix E Cognitive Therapy Worksheet

Appendix F More Feeling Words

Notes on Resources---Books

Notes on Resources---Tapes

About the Author

What Readers Said About the First Edition

DEDICATION

To the Glory of God

and

to all my readers

that they may grow

in love and knowledge

of self, others, and God.

"Open to me the gates of righteousness

that I may enter through them

and give thanks to the LORD."

Psalm 118:19 NRSV

FORMS

Self Assessment Record

Cognitive Therapy Worksheet

ILLUSTRATIONS

Family of God

Stepping Out of Vicious Circles

BIBLE ABBREVIATIONS AND QUOTATION REFERENCES

CEV Contemporary English Version Romans 8:26-29

KJV King James Version Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown's patentee, Cambridge University Press 2 Peter 1:2-8, Proverbs 15:1; Hebrews 4:12-16; Psalm 82:6; Revelation 22:17

MLB Modern Language Bible (Berkley Version) Ephesians 4:21-24; 4:32; 4:10-16; 3:13-19; Ephesians 2:17-18; Isaiah 42:1-3 and Matthew 12:18-21; Ephesians 2:18-19; 2:4,8-10; 1 John 3-11, 14-18

NEB New English Bible Scripture quotations taken from the New English Bible, copyright © Cambridge University Press and Oxford University Press 1961, 1970. All rights reserved. 1 Corinthians 2:7. 2 Corinthians 1:2-7

NLT New Living Translation Ezekiel 33:11

NRSV New Revised Standard Version Scripture quotations are from New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Psalm 118:19; Song of Solomon 2:1-2; 6:2-3; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Joel 2:28-29; John 3:3.5-7; 17:3; Luke11:13; Acts 2:38-39; Ephesians 2:21,22; Hebrews 9:15; Ephesians 2:4-5; Galatians 4:6; 3:26-28; Jeremiah 31:31-34; 1 Peter 1:3-16 and 2:9-10; 3:17; Romans 12,1-2; Philippians 4:4-10; Ephesians 4:15-21; 3:20,21; Matthew 13:51,52; Philippians 1:6; Revelation 4:20

RSV Revised Standard Version Scripture quotations are from Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1946, 1952, and 1971 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. 2 Timothy 1:7; 2 Corinthians 6:12-13, 17, Romans 8:26-27; 9:25-26

TEV Today's English Version Ephesians 1:16-20

Tanakh A new Translation of THE HOLY SCRIPTURES according to the traditional Hebrew text, used by permission of the Jewish Publication Society. Psalm 100 1:1, 4; 94:12-19; 95:6b.7b

FOREWORD

Since the time of Hippocrates, wise people have known that to maintain or restore health is too large an issue to be handled only by the physician. It also requires a responsible and responsive patient and a supportive family or community structure.

In this book, the author is doing some pioneer work in exploring and clarifying these relationships. She hopes that the reader will gain understanding of the close interaction of body and mind, of individual and community, and of wellness to inner peace and happiness. She emphasizes the individual's responsibility to learn, to grow and to become a stronger person. She appropriately maintains that a personal faith commitment is part of being a whole person. This book should help many to achieve this goal.

Gordon E. Maxwell, M.D.

PREFACE

In Today's world, there are pills or powders for almost all ills. But many people prefer to avoid medications. Mrs. Maxwell has created a masterpiece of research and writing for just such persons. In clear style, she describes how to coordinate the necessary resources for health---proper nutrition, exercise, rest, nurture of the mind and spirit, and positive interpersonal relations. If you are interested in a balanced and healthy lifestyle, read this book!

One of the most commonly-omitted facets of modern day life is that of spirituality. The demands on our time, energy and money keep us so focused on materialism that we tend to forget the values of the Spirit. Yet freedom from guilt, with all of its tension-producing anxiety, is available through spiritual means. Recognition of our failings, repentance, restitution and forgiveness are all functions of the spirit. Without offending any given philosophy or faith, these pages will teach you how these processes can totally heal.

The evidence of spiritual health is seen in the growth of love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, teachableness, and other qualities of greatness. When these characteristics are strong, psychological health will also be strong. It is impossible to remain angry, worried, or in conflict when one is primarily loving, joyful, and peaceful!

Holistic medicine increasingly teaches the intertwining of the spirit, body, emotions, and mind. This book is an encyclopedia of holistic concepts. Anyone will benefit from understanding and practicing the information given here. I cannot adequately tell you how strongly I recommend it.

Grace H. Ketterman, M.D.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

For my original text, I am grateful to Grace Ketterman, M.D., a specialist in adolescent psychiatry, author of popular books for family life and former Director of Crittenton Home in Kansas City, Norge Jerome, Ph.D., a specialist in nutrition and preventive medicine at the University of Kansas Medical Center,

Rev. Jay Phelan, theologian, pastor and teacher, and to

Weeden Nichols for their assistance in editing. Each of them read major parts or all of the original draft. Their suggestions and challenges to the thoughts expressed contributed to a final draft.

Joyce Farrell was invaluable in improving the text, Dave Barbo, original publisher was exceedingly patient and kind, Jay Richardson formatted the original and Chip Brock designed the cover. My husband and family have been supportive in too many ways to mention.

For the second edition, I greatly appreciate the teams from WestBow Press and the ease of internet research.

INTRODUCTION

Do you want to---

Reduce your risk of illness?

Decrease the effect of mental or physical illness?

Learn how essential nutrients enhance health?

Learn stress reduction methods?

Step out of vicious circles?

Reduce interpersonal conflicts?

Improve communication skills?

Enjoy significant others?

Help others change?

Help your employees become more effective?

Enlarge your library of resources?

Improve work and community relations?

Discover mind-body connections?

Appreciate common values of other faiths?

Resolve religious quandaries?

Become spiritually alive?

At Eden's Gate will help you do all that.

As people age, as we age, we become more and more aware of the need for ways to prevent illness of any kind. Slowly as a society, we have begun to value nutrition and health habits of exercise, stress reduction and peaceful personal relations.

Nutritional information on vitamins and minerals needed for health is updated through 2015 professional research.

Mental health patients and their families find support and help for sustaining health and hope in the journey to wellness. By reading At Eden's Gate, you examine many physical, mental, family, social and spiritual aspects of health. You CAN find a way out of vicious circles, find peace and happiness.

Written from a Christian perspective, insights in common with other religious groups are included for personal growth in spirituality.

At Eden's Gate is for your personal pleasure and growth, not a substitute for professional mentoring, guidance, therapy or treatment, but may be useful as an important supplement to them. It is a how to book full of very specific suggestions. People who need and want help with the stress of health concerns rarely have instant access to an appointment. If you think you might be ill, I strongly encourage you to make an appointment immediately to discuss any possible change or addition of treatment that you learn about while reading At Eden's Gate. It is not a substitute for individualized professional care.

The first edition was published in 1998 by Carlsons' of Lindsborg, Kansas. It was helpful to both professional and lay people, and was not matched by anything I could find on the market.

In 2013, realizing that much additional nutritional research has occurred and after failing again to find a comparable self-help book, I decided to update my book as a weekly blog. You can see the updates and subsequent articles as a WordPress blog under the title "Here's to Your Health!" at http://evelynmmaxwell.com.

This edition of At Eden's Gate: Whole Health and Well-Being is formatted and written especially for ebook internet users. It is a revised, updated and expanded second edition providing practical self-help in the basics of wholistic health and well-being, personal growth, overcoming stress, getting out of vicious circles, improving relationships and finding peace and happiness as individuals, families, workgroups and communities.

It is easy to read and understand, yet informative for professional education in any health or helping professional field: nutrition, alternative health, psychiatry, nursing, psychology, social science, human relations, caregiving, personal services, and pastoral care.

It is recommended by a nationally known specialist in adolescent psychiatry, a director of mental health services for patients and families, a reviewer for library services for popular reading, academic, institutional and special library collections, and by patients.

I have added major updates to the original 252 pages of the book in the sections on vitamins, minerals, family, spirituality, finance and community. As you read, please make sure you get rest, exercise and adequate nutrition, which are often neglected while having fun or dealing with stress.

When I graduated in 1955 with a Bachelor's in Nursing Science, there was almost no professional help for patients with mental health problems and nothing of self-help. After the birth of our fourth child amid the stresses of applying for missionary work in India, leaving our home and moving to the mission orientation centers, I found myself in the mentally ill category with a diagnosis that ordinarily was considered hopeless. My own need for counseling, self-help and recovery from some serious episodes of illness with different diagnostic labels over a number of years led me to read everything I could find for self-help, enter seminars aimed at mental health patients, or consumers, and gradually, with God's help, to become a new self on the path to being a whole person.

When our youngest was a junior in high school I realized I would need something besides homemaking in my future. An unusual recurrent dream, that you will read about later, led me to enroll at my alma mater (University of Kansas) for the Master's Degree in Mental Health Nursing. While finishing my degree, I co-taught mental health and other aspects of health to nursing students at Marymount College in Salina, Kansas.

Marymount College closed in 1985. Again I asked God for direction for my future. I had learned so much from experiences as a patient, my studies and teaching nursing students! I became convinced that I should use everything I could think of from my life experience that would be helpful to patients regardless of their health condition by writing a book. I want the reader to find the lilies---the benefits and blessings---the hope, to be found in the valleys of illness, and the strength to step out of the sticky muddle of illness that drags one down, to find solid footing on the stepping stones to wholeness and health.

During the seven years of writing, I called upon specialists in psychiatry and nutrition to review and make suggestions to the text. I have them to thank as well as my publishing mentor Dave Barbo, now deceased, and his staff, particularly Jay Richardson. Many clients allowed me to paraphrase their comments. My friends, Weeden Nichols, read the manuscript for sense, continuity and grammar, and Grace Ketterman, M.D., psychiatrist for children and adolescents,, gave suggestions, encouragement and wrote the preface for the original edition. My obstetrician husband, Gordon Maxwell, M.D., has been loyal in persevering throughout my trials, encouraged me in my lowest moments and wrote the Foreword.

You have the ability to change what is happening to you. In At Eden's Gate, you will find ways to help you do that. You will begin to see how life is inter-related in many ways, that stress comes with many contributing factors and that change begins with yourself.

You have a way to understand your feelings better using the chart More Feeling Words that features the intensity of feeling for each word.

You learn ways to improve your physical and mental health by paying attention to your basic habits of life, what and when you eat, sleep, exercise, rest, the Variety of Foods Required to Meet Physical Needs and introduction to the U.S. Food Guide.

You have tools to change how you think and feel about life's happenings and how you relate to people and events by using the Cognitive Therapy Worksheet and the illustration and planning method for Stepping Out of Vicious Circles. You decrease your anxiety level by using controlled breathing, progressive relaxation, and stress inoculation techniques. You learn how to confront people and situations by using the Social Adjustment Rating Scale, Self-Assessment Form and developing a plan.

You learn how you can help others and how you can help them to help you.

You learn how to relate to and even experience God, or whatever name you use for the Supreme Power of the Universe, and how Jesus can make relating easier.

You have examples of dialogue, scripture from the Christian Bible, notes on resources, a report on my Self-Esteem Research and in the print version, an index to help you find what you want.

Welcome to the adventure of the stepping stones to health and well-being.

Welcome to the path toward wholeness!

I'll meet you At Eden's Gate!

AT EDEN'S GATE

"This is crazy! I'm going to be late! I'm almost half-way there. The snow is blinding! It wasn't this bad when I started. Shall I turn back? What if I go off a bridge? Will they think it's suicide? Lord knows I've thought of it at times. I wonder if people who suicide are really damned? 'Keep the steering wheel steady, don't go too slow. Someone may hit you from behind.' I can't see! Where's the edge of the pavement? Why didn't I stay home? It doesn't make much sense to risk your life to go to a counseling appointment! But I didn't cancel 24 hours ahead. I didn't think it would be this bad. 'You have to keep your word, even to your hurt.' I can't see to turn back. I have to go on!... 'Well, the snow let up. I'm here, a half-hour late, and I've had it'"

After weighing my inner thoughts in the counseling session, I decided it's OK under certain circumstances to go back on one's word, be more flexible, less rigid in expectations of oneself. Though stressful, the lesson learned provided another stepping stone toward peace and inner harmony.

You may have heard "We've met the enemy, and he is us," a phrase used in Walt Kelly's POGO comic strip. Many stressors come from conflicting inner attitudes which, for some, at times, becomes disabling. In some ways the enemy is us. You and me.

As a student nurse in 1952, I learned that one-half of all hospital beds were for persons with mental illness. At that time little help was available. I vowed to do what I could to make a difference.

As time went on I became a busy mother and homemaker. I forgot all about that vow. From 1965 through the mid-seventies, with emotional problems of my own, I turned to self-help material to supplement professional care. In 1976 I returned to nursing as a graduate student. In the 1980ies, as a mental health nurse and instructor of nursing students, I took the opportunity to study and put into practice the how to of helping people learn to help themselves in personal growth, helping myself in the process.

I want to share with you what I have gained from working with patients, families, and professionals, as well as my personal experiences with my own spiritual and emotional growth. I am blending composite situations with fiction in order to provide anonymity for all contributors.

At Eden's gate you stand. As you examine these stepping stones on the path of well-being, and the lilies along the way, you have my best wishes in making your own path stable and sure, and increasing your ability to assist your loved ones or clients in their own personal path of growth.

Additionally, I hope to prevent some of the painful pitfalls of mental health problems. My heartfelt desire is, if you are having emotional problems, that you will use them as opportunities for your own personal growth into well-being and wholeness.

Please feel free to pick and choose the sections of this work that are important to YOU. There is no particular order in which this must be read. I do suggest that you continue with this material and then read Lilies of the Valley. From there move to the sections that interest you most.

Feel free to stop and use the search feature and appendices at any point. Do not feel that you must read hurriedly or in any particular period of time. God is able to lead you to what you need most at any point in time. Feel free to put it aside for awhile, take a rest, or think about it, talk to someone about it, and come back to that or to another part. I hope you will want to read it all.

I often use the word we to indicate common thoughts and feelings among those who have had or are having, some particular trials, problems, successes, or religious experiences. You may or may not have the same idea, feeling, or behavior. Your situation and your feelings may not fit the situation described. If the statement does not fit you, think nothing more about it. If it bothers you, talk to someone.

Please take a moment to think about what Eden means to you? A place of peace, happiness, security, harmony, perfection? A place remembered in cultural history and mythology with a variety of names, such as paradise or nirvana? Perhaps, a place referred to in modern American jargon as back to the womb? A place where the weary are refreshed and encouraged? A place of Law and Order, where events are predictable and justice is done? A place where education effectively identifies good and evil? Where people are warned of the dangers here and out there? Or, possibly, a condition of open communication with God and others?

Perhaps, Eden is the Presence of G-d.

Regardless of how we define Eden, there is an aura of desire to experience Eden in our present life, if possible, as much and as often as possible. Thus the appeal of terms such as: The New Order, The New Age, and The New World.

You cannot enter Eden if you blame others for all your trials. You are responsible for becoming what you are purposed to be. Each of us has an individual path, but we have much in common with others. The gate is open to the garden of God's Presence.

God's hidden wisdom (and) secret purpose, framed from the very beginning, (is) to bring us to our full glory.

I Corinthians 2:7 NEB

Therefore,

Raise a shout for the LORD, all the earth;

   Worship the LORD in gladness;

   Come into his presence with shouts of joy.

Enter his gates with praise,

   His courts with acclamation.

Psalm 100:1, 3 Tanak

Happy are those whom you discipline,

   O LORD, and whom you teach out of your law,

      to give (us) tranquility in time of misfortune,

For the LORD will not forsake his people;

      he will not abandon his very own;

If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would

      soon have lived in the land of silence,

When I thought, My foot is slipping,

      your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many,

      your consolations cheer my soul.

Let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!

      O that today you would listen to his voice!

Excerpts from David's Psalms 94 and 95

New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) and Tanakh

LILIES OF THE VALLEY

The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want, He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no harm; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; Thou hast anointed my head with oil; my cup runs over, Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23 KJV

Life has its valleys. For some a valley is a time of feeling blue, or depressed. For others a valley is a pleasant place of rest, like the picture portrayed in the twenty-third Psalm. Many fear the Valley of the Shadow of Death. The twenty-third Psalm portrays a sense of safety in anxiety-producing situations, even the valley of the shadow of death.

Far too many people are without hope and commit suicide. There is hope. There can be peace and rest. There are lilies in the valley. Our help often comes while we are deep in the valley of troubles.

Within these pages I share lilies of the valley of the shadow of death. The lilies are what I have learned as I walked with others through either my or their highs and lows. There are mountain tops to enjoy and we can find peace in the valleys.

But, if you find yourself planning suicide, or are worried that someone you know will commit suicide, talk to someone about it immediately. Most communities have a Hotline with trained persons to talk with you.

If suicidal thoughts have progressed to a plan with a lethal means that is accessible, it is URGENT to obtain emergency treatment. If you cannot reach a mental health professional, you may go to your nearest hospital emergency room. If the suicidal person is not willing to go for help, you must keep him or her talking. You may summon help from the police on another phone, or ask a friend to arrange for help.

If the suicidal person is irrational, and/or homicidal with a gun, you have a very serious problem. Most suicidal people do not want to hurt anyone else. You can asked him or her to point the weapon at the floor and lay it down gently, so that it doesn't accidentally fire and hurt someone while you two talk.

If you are depressed, you do not have to wait until suicidal thoughts and impulses occur. Help is available and it is effective.

Rarely does anyone deliberately, intentionally, act to drive someone to a mental or physical breakdown. A person who intentionally, deliberately, does that is one the few psychopathic personalities in our society. Persons with psychopathic personality appear to have no conscience, no remorse, are impulsive, and tend to develop criminal behaviors. Special precautions are needed to deal with such a situation. If you are in such a situation, you need professional guidance now.

There is hope for persons with disabilities such as psychopathic or anti-social personality. Help is found in the chapter titled Stepping Stones to Eden which talks about beginning Spiritual Life and in the reality of becoming a New Person. Many of the other helps in this book enable you to face old situations in a new way. Therapy and self-help with spiritual components has greater success than when spiritual needs are denied or ignored.

Mental health problems, especially when a break from reality (psychosis) occurs, can be frightening, very painful events, both psychologically and spiritually.

In this book, you will find specific measures for use as self-help stepping-stones to optimize your individual and your family's health. These same measures are applied to overcome the negative effects of many illnesses. Well-being, optimal health, cannot be credited to any one factor. Individuals who are high on the wellness scale are experiencing the results of multiple, inter-meshing optimal factors. Our society produces some individuals with optimal development and some with poor development. Most individuals and families, however, are somewhere between these two extremes. People can find themselves in unforeseen crises without the tools to help themselves.

Problems are a normal part of life. You can learn ways to help solve problems for yourself and others. We can be a happier, healthier people.

During infancy we may experience an intimacy and joy with self and others that is akin to the innocence of Eden. For others, even infancy is devastating. However, as we grow up, each of us becomes susceptible to the Fall. Life is no longer perfect. It may be full of problems. At times, life may seem insane, crazy, hard to understand, complex, contradictory, and without meaning.

As you read you will find lilies as I mentioned in Lilies of the Valley. Lilies---ideas, attitudes, and new insights---that have brought others through their hard times to acceptance of situations, of self and others. Accepting each other, and ourselves, we can work toward peace in a growing new life, peace like that in Eden.

The lilies you find can help you grow into being the kind of person you were meant to be, in spite of all the stunting experiences you may have had, perhaps even because of them. These lilies are from the natural garden of life and have therapeutic qualities. They are hidden in words that are as dry as straw to those who do not need them. The ones meant for you are fragrant and lovely. As you thumb through the leaves of the book, they pop out at you in your mind's eye, and you find your hidden lilies!

Perhaps you do not actually see a lily with your physical eye; although I've known people who were seeking God's will as they read who saw the meaningful words in bold print! This may not be your experience, but whatever strikes you personally, let that be one of your lilies, write it down in your memory or on a notepad, or draw a lily in the margin for future reference.

Pray to God for help, then, open your mind. Do not open your mind before praying! Information not meant for you can be dangerous, just as the wrong medicine can be fatal!

The Path, The Way, to personal fulfillment awaits you. Shalom (peace and well-being).

Mountain tops are fine,

heady and cloudy,

But our Lord is described

as the Lily of the Valley.

Evelyn Maxwell

May 12, 1971

I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys, As a lily among brambles so is my love among maidens.

Song of Solomon 2:1-2 NRSV

My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. He pastures his flock among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 6:2-3 NRSV

GOD'S WAYS: STEPPING STONES TO WELL-BEING

No!My mind screamed. My heart turned cold. With 'characteristic calmness under stress,' I listened as my supervisor asked me not to come to work for the next two weeks. 'There is an investigation regarding some complaints by staff of your performance.'

I hung up the phone.

I NEVER want my children to go through what I have gone through---the devastation, the shame, the fight for sanity.

With controlled tremor, I said to my husband, 'I need to talk to you.' Tears welled. My brain felt as though it were being pulled apart as I fought old familiar feelings

Fortunately he was understanding and supportive. He offered to intervene in my behalf, but I said, 'No. I want to handle this myself.'

If he had not been supportive, if he had blamed me, I probably would have lost control and retreated into that old familiar pattern I had fought so long to change.

We returned to our guests. With difficulty, I told them about my phone call. I was grateful for their concern, their hugs and warm handshakes as they left.

You know, it's odd. I'd been praying for a way to leave the job so I could give more time to the family. But, I never expected this!

Mental health problems, especially when a break from reality (psychosis) occurs, can be frightening, very painful events, both psychologically and spiritually.

This woman had experienced previous mental health breaks. She felt a physical sensation in her brain, like it was tearing apart, as she agonized over her dilemma. She and her family were acquainted with the process of seeking help and the shame, the fight for sanity was eased. For others also, it can be easier, though it isn't easy. Not everyone feels a sense of shame and a fight for sanity.

Fortunately, many therapists are able to show their clients that the break with reality was a consequence of stress which can be overcome. By learning new