Picking up the Pieces: Life After Cancer

By Claire Brissette-Lamoureux Ph.D.

Ones journey through cancer does not end with the last treatment. Cancer affects patients and survivors not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Living through cancer impacts ones sense of self, ones energy level, and ones ability to move on. The cancer experience calls into question the meaning and purpose of life. It affects ones relationship with self, others, and God. Moving forward from the shock and trauma of cancer requires that survivors take time to address these inner dimensions of their cancer experience.

This book does just that. It is a compelling personal journey through the many challenges faced by survivors as they attempt to reclaim their life after cancer. The author, a ten year cancer survivor, believes that facing and walking through the emotional and spiritual upheaval of the cancer experience can have a transforming effect on ones life. She describes her own process, focusing on the first two years after diagnosis---a time of intense fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and turmoil. Acknowledging, facing, and walking through this pain brought her to a place of greater emotional and spiritual freedom---to a richer quality of life.

Although each story is unique, survivors live through similar emotional and spiritual struggles. Questions included at the end of each chapter invite the reader to reflect upon their personal journey as a way of working through whatever is preventing them from moving forward.

This book is a must read for survivors living through the inner struggles surrounding their cancer experience and movement forward. It is a source of support for those feeling alone in their pain. It is a guide for those wishing to heal and grow emotionally and spiritually from the crisis of cancer. It offers hope and encouragement to all cancer survivors.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504336437

Claire Brissette-Lamoureux Ph.D.

Claire Brissette-Lamoureux, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, spiritual director, and energy healing practitioner. She holds a master’s degree in formative spirituality and a doctoral degree in pastoral psychology. She is the author of Journey Out of Chaos and Reflective Living: A Spiritual Approach to Everyday Life. She and her husband live in South Attleboro, Massachusetts.

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Copyright © 2015 CLAIRE BRISSETTE-LAMOUREUX. Ph.D.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-3642-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3643-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015910828

Balboa Press rev. date: 07/31/2015

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: Entering the World of Cancer

Chapter 2: Decisions….Decisions….And More

Chapter 3: Struggling to Move On

Chapter 4: Riding the Waves of Emotion

Chapter 5: Shock….Crisis….Blessing

Chapter 6: The Gift of Cancer

TO MY MOTHER, CLAIRE (D.1991)

MY SISTERS, JEANNE (D. 1990) AND ANNE (D. 1997)

MY DEAR FRIEND, MARY (D. 1986)

WHO LIVED THEIR DYING WITH COURAGE, DIGNITY AND FAITH

TO ALL CANCER SURVIVORS

AS WE LIVE TODAY IN GRATITUDE AND HOPE

INTRODUCTION

In 2004, at age 64, I was diagnosed with bi-lateral breast cancer. I was devastated! Suddenly, and without warning, my life was turned upside-down. I was frightened, terrified, confused, shocked. How could this happen after so many years of living a healthy life-style? It made no sense!

Cancer breaks into our lives unexpectedly. It is a shocking and traumatizing life crisis. It plunges us into an unknown world, where the name of the game is survival–getting through multiple tests and doctor visits, surviving surgery and/or treatment, with an outcome that is often not clear. Generally, we tend to receive very good medical care and follow-up from oncology specialists. However, moving on from the experience of cancer and all that it entails, does not end after the last treatment or after having recuperated from surgery.

The experience of cancer affects us on every level. It changes our sense of self. It shifts our priorities. While the medical profession focuses on physical treatment, not much is said or written about the emotional, psychological and spiritual dimensions of the cancer experience. We are not often encouraged to seek out support groups. We tend to keep to ourselves, not wanting to burden family and friends. For the most part, we are left to our own devices to pick up the pieces of our life.

Living through cancer can become an opportunity to look within. The crisis of cancer invites us to enter into our inner world of intense feelings and emotions, shock and trauma, fears and insecurities. We are challenged to explore the meaning and purpose of our life after cancer. We are confronted with our sense of the sacred and of God. Walking through our inner world with gentle care is integral to our healing. Committing ourselves to this process eventually leads to a richer quality of life, characterized by an inner sense of well-being, a lived connection with ourselves, others, the sacred, God, and life. Failure to do so leaves us more or less limping through life, trying to move on from the trauma of cancer, bogged down by our unresolved cancer issues.

The challenge for many of us is learning to trust our inner experience, accepting that our feelings, fears, concerns and anxieties are all part of who we are. We tend to deny, rationalize, dismiss or minimize our inner stirrings. They seem unimportant as we try to survive the crisis and move on. Yet they tug at us, wanting to be listened to and respected. Healing from cancer requires that we take seriously what is moving within us.

The contents of this book have been alive within me for several years since my own cancer experience. For a long time, I gave myself multiple reasons and excuses for not engaging in this project–it would demand too much time and energy, and may never be published. However, the movement of my own spirit has been relentless in nagging me to write, to the point where it became imperative to give expression to what has been living in me for so long. And so, all these many years later, this book is born.

As a psychotherapist, spiritual director and energy healing practitioner, I tried to live through cancer with as much awareness as possible. Working with cancer patients and survivors in various contexts throughout the past several years has made me aware of the universality of the struggles, anxieties and fears experienced by those of us who have walked through cancer. This book is grounded in my passion to help guide patients and survivors through an inner journey that is crucial to moving on with our lives.

These chapters focus primarily on the first two years from the time of my diagnosis, which was a period of emotional and spiritual upheaval and turmoil. The last two chapters describe significant inner shifts that have occurred in my life as a result of having walked through the emotional and spiritual challenges of cancer. I have included excerpts from the journals I kept during that time, hoping that you, the reader, can identify with your own cancer story, and realize that whatever you have lived, or continue to live, is a normal part of the cancer experience.

As a way of guiding you through your own process, I have included questions at the end of each chapter for your reflection and journal writing. Reflecting on your personal journey can bring clarity to what you are living, facilitate your healing process, and help you move forward with your life.

May you feel supported as you read these pages. May they enlighten your own journey. May they help you realize that you are not alone. Whatever you are living today is integral to your healing.

I am grateful beyond words to my husband, Jeff, who has walked with me through all of it. His strong and faithful love has been constant as we together lived through my cancer experience. Throughout the many years of our marriage, he has always been there, supporting me in my many out of the box ventures, including the writing of this book. He continues to be my greatest cheerleader. In 2011, he himself was diagnosed with bladder cancer, which threw us once again into the shocking, uncertain and tumultuous world of cancer. Once more, our lives were turned upside-down. Today, as cancer-free survivors, we live grateful for being alive and healthy–with the unique distinction of being a cancer-surviving couple,