Seen: Hope Prevails

By Karen Michaelle

What if?

What if there is truly work prepared by God in advance for you to do? What if, by living intentionally outside of yourself, you could be used to bring hope and transformation to another person? What would you do?

Seen: Hope Prevails is a story that chronicles the transformative power and journey of hope. Its a story of love that reverberates among dramatically different lives across two continents. On a journey which began many years ago, one broken-hearted girl came to realize that she was seenby God. This awareness not only transformed her life, but ultimately led her on an unbelievable course to do the work that God had prepared in advance for her to do.

My boys will likely never jump on a trampoline, go to an amusement park, run through sprinklers or have a lot of toys to occupy them. There are many things that most of us take for granted that they will never know. But as I think upon their faces and the lives they are living today, what they have is all that any of us really need: to be cared for, to be loved, and to be seen.

Karen Michaelle

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 23, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512739251

Karen Michaelle

A teacher and speaker, Karen Michaelle’s “A Journey of Faith” ministry has garnered her speaking engagements across the United States and internationally. An unexpected summoning to leave her corporate career for the missionary field led her to establish Love Without Borders, Inc., a 501c3 non-profit organization. A mother of one adult son, Karen divides her time between California and Western Kenya. Visit karenmichaelle.com Visit facebook.com/KarenMichaelle Visit lovewithoutbordersca.org

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Copyright © 2016 Karen Michaelle.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture taken from the New Century Version. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-3926-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3927-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3925-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016906608

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/23/2016

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 A Broken Girl

Chapter 2 Finding Hope

Chapter 3 A Transformed Life

Chapter 4 An Unexpected Door

Chapter 5 There’s Something More

Chapter 6 His Kingdom’s Cause

Chapter 7 A New Life

Chapter 8 A Chosen Vessel

Chapter 9 The Something Else

Chapter 10 Help Arrives

Chapter 11 Not Quite Done

Chapter 12 Much to Do

Chapter 13 Upendo Means Love

Chapter 14 My Boys

Chapter 15 A Heartbreaking Goodbye

Chapter 16 A Tough Transition

Chapter 17 Growing Expectations

Chapter 18 Return to Kenya

Chapter 19 Redemption Realized

Chapter 20 One So Lost

Chapter 21 Transformation Realized

Chapter 22 Hope Prevails

Post Script

Afterword

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.

Hebrews 6:19-20 NIV

DEDICATION

T o Erik, the first little boy to ever capture my heart.

I love you forever.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to express my gratitude to the foremost individuals who have come alongside me in the publishing process or have influenced facts of this story in some way.

First, to two of my very talented friends, Shannon Prestella and Vera Suwantararungsri. The editorial insight and guidance provided by you two ladies was invaluable to me and went a long way toward applying beneficial refinement to this story. I am sincerely grateful for you.

To my constant encourager and best friend Kristi Kennedy-Mendoza, you’ve been my cheerleader since before I even knew I would be stepping foot on a path to Kenya. For the many conversations, questions, tears and prayers, thank you for always believing in me and encouraging me to keep going, even when things were hard. Thank you for caring so sincerely about me and this story.

My visionary friend Pastor Paul Odari and his beloved Proverbs 31 wife Mary Nafula Odari of Divine Life Church Kenya, I am still amazed that God connected us to accomplish such incredible work. Thank you for inviting me to become a member of your lives, household and community in Sikhendu. Your unending perseverance and deep trust in the provision of God make a significant difference in the lives of those you touch, including mine. I am honored to partner with you.

To the amazing individuals rounding out our ministry team in Kenya: Patrick and Rose Sikuku, Carolyne (Caro) Kipkolyne Mukeye, Enoch Misango, Caleb Kituyi and Pastor Titus Namancha, your devotion to the lives of our boys is irreplaceable. This story only begins to tell everything you do on a daily basis to influence the dramatic life change taking place in our boys. Thank you for your tireless service as the hands and feet of God in their lives and in the lives of so many others.

Linstone Sonny, my friend, thank you for your willingness to allow me to include your very personal story, which not only shares what an incredible young man you are, but perfectly demonstrates that the future can indeed be bright, even for children whose lives include living on the streets. You have come far, and I am proud of you.

To Laurel, Megan, Stephanie and Nina, an organization is only as strong as the people who make things go. From the very early days in Kenya until today, you have each shared my passion for the work we do. To do the work of Love Without Borders, Inc. is a privilege that is so much better having you along for the ride. Thank you for standing beside me and making things go so incredibly well.

To the sponsors of our Upendo Boys and supporters of Love Without Borders, Inc., thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing with us in the gap for these amazing children. We could not do this life-changing work without your love and generosity.

To my parents, Jim and Sandy Barum, from the time I can remember, you have both modeled the important value of helping others. It’s a lesson that will remain with me all of my days and has directly impacted this story.

Finally, to the one who sees us and is the author of hope. Jesus, I am nothing without you. You came to my rescue when I needed you the most. You have transformed the heart of this simple girl, saved by grace, and set my feet on the path of this mind-blowing, ongoing journey. Thank you for breaking my heart for what breaks yours and allowing me to tell your amazing story. I pray it does you justice.

I love you all. Nawapenda sana.

—Karen Michaelle

INTRODUCTION

I am laying in the early morning darkness on my last day in Sikhendu, Kenya. In an instant, I undeniably know that I am to write a story…this story…God’s story. That in some way, I must share with others how incredibly he has woven all things together throughout my life leading up to this moment. Like an expert tailor, it’s as if God has used a giant needle and thread, stitching so many things together to create something uniquely beautiful.

I believe in and strive for authenticity. As a speaker and teacher of God’s Word to women, my messages often are framed around the need for us—as God’s people—to be less superficial and more authentic in our faith. To get real. So in the spirit of that level of authenticity, I’ll share that I think being a believer in Christ can be challenging at times.

Let’s be honest: Christians put all of their faith into an unseen being who, in this life, does not stand before us in physical form. We are called to trust our God in Spirit; to let the Holy Spirit—our gift of salvation—guide us into a deep communal relationship with him, and to let him lead our very lives. Ephesians 1:13 (NIV) says it this way:

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

At times I think it’s honest to say this faith, this gift of the Holy Spirit, can seem both remarkable and totally irrational. Before I became a born-again believer in Jesus Christ, I used to think people who called themselves born again were a bit, well, weird. But that was before I left a life of contemplating faith only as the world tried to describe it to me, in favor of a personal discovery of faith grounded in God’s word on the matter.

I learned that Jesus himself spoke of the ability to be born again. In fact, Jesus says in John 3:3 that Unless we are born again, we cannot see the kingdom of God. That decision to set out on my own Journey of Faith was over twenty years ago. Today, I say without reservation that I am a born again believer in Jesus Christ, and it is that belief, and the accompanying gift of the Holy Spirit, that has led me to this very place and to writing this very book.

As I have journeyed this road of faith, I’ve also experienced that, in my search for deeper authenticity, and release of control of nearly everything I used to think mattered so much, that God has been moving mightily through my life and the lives of others in this story. I think that is a significant life lesson; that the more we surrender control of our lives the more we are able to be used in the lives of others.

This is a story that runs across two continents. It’s a story that is ongoing and, God willing, will continue well beyond my days. I look forward to the revelations of God’s plans through what He has called me to do, and for the generations after me to look back and retell about this story of how things all began. And all of this, because of God expertly weaving all things together for good.

It’s my sincere desire both to capture the details of a very compelling story, and, more importantly, to inspire and motivate the Christian believer to go deeper with him; to surrender oneself and be willing to trust him for what he will have in return.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I hope to give the non-believer a reason to pause and re-consider this God I’ve chosen to serve and have grown to trust with everything I am and everything I have. If that is you, I assure you that He is waiting to be seen by you also, and will not stop vying for your love and acceptance until your last breath.

Wherever you stand as it relates to faith, I am hopeful that through this story, you will be left with a question that will resonate deeply within your soul. That question is what if, by living intentionally outside of yourself, you could be used to bring hope and transformation to another person? What would you do?

So many things have happened within this story—so many times, God has shown himself to me and laid the stepping stones to direct me to this very place, time, and the circumstances I’ve encountered. There have been times when something in my spirit clicks, a lightbulb-going-on type of moment. When that happens, I know what God is directing me to do. There have been other times when God has seemed silent, placing me in a waiting mode. In all times, I have learned to trust him.

When I think back over my life-defining moments, hearing God’s call into women’s ministry in 2010 was one of those first light bulb moments—a moment when I knew He was leading me to take a big step toward ministering to his daughters. That call motivated me to lead a team to Kenya in the summer of 2013.

Our team’s primary focus was on women’s ministry with a small role in children’s ministry. What I did not know, during our time in Kenya that summer, was that God was already arranging connections between me and several other people who would play a role later in this story. These connections included one of my mission teammates, Megan Stiegelmar, and two young Kenyan men named Enoch Misango and Linstone Sonny.

Following that incredible two-week mission trip, I went home to the states for just two months before returning again to Kenya alone for a three-month season of ministry. Hearing that I returned to Kenya on my own may not sound all that remarkable; what is remarkable is how I was brought to a point in my life when I would actually do such a thing…to take the greatest leap of faith I would ever take.

My story begins years before my leap of faith, though; many years back, in fact, to the time of the worst season of utter brokenness I had ever suffered. It is from this brokenness that God made himself known to me, and started something altogether new.

CHAPTER 1

A Broken Girl

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F or a variety of reasons, by the time I was a young woman, I was already deeply broken. Heartbreaks had left me with a very low sense of self, and an even lesser sense of worth.

This damaging one-two combination led me into a series of one-to-the-next relationships with men, beginning early in high school. Of course I did not realize it at the time, but I was, as the song says, Looking for love in all the wrong places. I let the opinion of men define my lovability and worth. If I was pursued and told I was beautiful, I was on an incredible high. If they rejected me, oh how I would hit the deepest of lows. My already vulnerable heart took a blow each time a relationship ended. This destructive pattern eventually lead me into not one but two marriages before I had even celebrated my thirtieth birthday.

My first marriage, entered into when I was only twenty, did not survive the immaturity and emotional unhealthiness upon which it was built.

I will say, we did try. We had some good moments and some really fun times, but ultimately, the foundation we had was not solid enough to withstand the challenges that became the painful, consistent hallmark of our days. The one bright ray of light that did come from this relationship was the birth of my only son, Erik, when I was twenty five. I never felt the depth of love as I did when I fell in love with my adorable son.

While Erik’s arrival brought us great joy, our marriage continued to desperately flounder. In hindsight, I believe that in addition to my tendency toward depression, I was also struggling with undiagnosed postpartum depression as well. I was in a very bad state. In fact, when my sweet baby was only a few months old, I encountered a day when I seriously considered ending my life. I remember that day vividly. Even now, I remember the deep despair I felt, sitting nearly immobile on the couch. I just wanted to stop hurting and feeling so hopeless. And yet it was in looking down into my sweet son’s face that I knew I could not do that to him.

That I had even felt that way terrified me, which led me to reach out to a counselor that day to schedule an appointment. She confirmed the diagnosis of severe depression, and I began to get the help I needed to ease my symptoms. She also told me I had a co-dependent personality. When she gave me a list of traits of someone with this type of personality, I remember feeling almost excited and most certainly relieved. So many of the ways I behaved, which were contributing to my unhappiness and emotional unhealthiness, were listed on that page. Until that time, I literally just thought I was crazy.

While counseling