Marley Was a Saint: The Story of Diamond, the Errant Labrador

By I. G. Snyder

You admire people who live life to the fullest. Individuals who wake up each morning excited about what the coming day will bring. Diamond was this kind of a dog. Every day was a new adventure in the life of Diamond. He lived life with gay abandon, pushing himself to the limit, trying something new, while at the same time pushing his owners to their limits. He was an incredible athlete, perfecting, creating, and developing every kind of retrieving ever imagined. He was bred to retrieve, born to retrieve, loved to retrieve and lived to retrieve. This perfection, this obsession was almost the undoing of Diamond and the residents of the stone cottage.
If you enjoyed Marley & Me, you will find reading this story of an even wilder Labrador retriever thoroughly amusing. You will feel better about your dogs rambunctious or unusual behavior after you compare your puppys behavior to that of Diamond. And in the end, I hope you adopt Diamonds outlook on life:
Every day was the first day of the rest of his life. Every day was another page in the book of his marvelous adventure called life. There were no regrets; there was no looking back. He just looked forward to the fun and joy the next sunrise would bring.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524613358

I. G. Snyder

I.G. Snyder is a scientist, a business executive and an avid athlete, a father of six children, seven grandchildren, and even one great granddaughter. He has written several technical articles for a number of journals and authored chapters in technical books. After retiring in 1995, he and his wife Jan decided to move from the cold of Michigan to the temperate climate in the Northwest. They wanted a place where they could enjoy the outdoors and the myriad of athletic adventures available in the Northwest. They found a stone cottage on the banks of the Columbia River and instantly fell in love with the property. Shortly after settling in, they decided a dog would be a necessary addition to their family. They selected a unique Labrador retriever and named it Diamond, since diamonds are a woman’s best friend. The author and Diamond had very similar personalities, which certainly made it interesting for Jan. The family experienced many wonderful adventures and would now like to share them with you.

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© 2016 I. G. Snyder. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/14/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-1336-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-1337-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-1335-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016909714

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedication

Part 1 The Puppy

1 The Arrival

2 Selection of Your Dog

3 Euphoria

4 Further Reality: One-Week Report

5 Early Training

6 First-Quarter Report

7 Midsummer Report: Dog of Multiple Talents

8 Further Training

Part 2 The Teenager

9 Professional Training

10 Personal Training

11 Swimming Training

12 Wild Teens

13 First Calamity

14 Happy Birthday, Diamond!

Part 3 Retrieving

15 Returning Home

16 Water Retrieving

17 Girls’ Softball

18 Golf

19 Basketball

20 Find the Ball

21 Hill Ball and River Stick

22 Mowing the Lawn

23 Useful Retrieving

Part 4 The Journey

24 Departure

25 Camping Heaven

26 Catch Me If You Can

27 Visiting Relatives

28 Fort Warden

Part 5 Adulthood

29 Maturing

30 Alpha Dog

31 Overnighter

32 Responsibilities

33 The Bedtime Walk

34 Really Personal

35 True Love

36 Playing with People

37 Protection

38 Food

39 Salmon Dinners

40 The Last Salmon Dinner

Epilogue

About the Author

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Jan Snyder, the author’s wife, who selected Diamond as a puppy, who lived with, and together with the author, took care of Diamond throughout his lifetime. It was Jan who Diamond pushed off the dock into the Columbia River as she was giving him his swimming lessons. It was Jan who had to erase the pee message Diamond left on his master’s chair. It was Jan who had to drive forty miles to purchase a new aircraft cable to contain her hound after Diamond had chewed in half the former cable. For better or the worse, Jan lived with and loved the errant Labrador. Without her help, it is doubtful the author could have successfully raised this wild animal.

I.G. Snyder

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PART I

The Puppy

1 The Arrival

Nestled on the banks of the Columbia River, right in the middle of the Columbia River Gorge, lived a quiet and kindly couple. Their abode rested on a unique piece of land with several large rocks jutting out into the river. Between two of these rocks was a protected harbor known locally as Snug Harbor. They lived in a modest house that had experienced so many remodelings over the past fifty years that today it was mainly concrete with stone trim. The house was lovingly known as Stone Cottage.

Seeing as their residence was rather remote, the man of the house, with the encouragement of his good wife, decided that a dog would be a nice addition to the family. Since both residents of Stone Cottage were active hikers, they felt it would be desirable to have an energetic dog, one that would be able to keep up with them on long hikes. To ward off unwanted strangers, they agreed that a fairly sizeable dog with a ferocious bark would be preferable. Finally, a friendly, intelligent dog seemed like a good idea.

This couple did quite a bit of research on dogs, albeit not enough. Based upon their studies, the couple selected a Labrador Retriever. One day while driving down the freeway, the good man from Stone Cottage noticed a sign for the Cascade Retriever Kennel in Jefferson, Oregon. Having a few extra moments, he stopped in and found a magnificent layout with large ponds, fields, kennels, and covered training arenas. There were probably fifty to seventy-five retrievers resident here in various stages of training. The head lady at the kennel said she would have some very fine Labrador Retriever puppies ready to sell in about three weeks.

When he returned home to Stone Cottage, some two hours hence, the good man announced his Labrador find to his excited wife. And so the expectant couple in Stone Cottage counted the days until they would be able to go back to Jefferson, Oregon, and view their potential new arrival. The appointed day was the day before Easter, which seemed to be most appropriate. The excited couple loaded a few old bedsheets and a nice cozy cardboard box in

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Stone Cottage

their big red truck. It was not certain they were going to purchase a dog, but in the event they succumbed to the attraction of a cuddly puppy, they wanted to be ready.

They pulled up to the Cascade Retriever Kennel excited and naive—even more naive than they realized. The head lady at the kennel, who really acted like the alpha dog over the entire establishment, asked what kind of a dog they were interested in. The couple said a male yellow Labrador. The head lady said they were in luck, and she brought four adorable yellow Labrador puppies into a viewing room. This room was set up for the sole purpose of introducing people to their new puppy. The floor was carpeted so people could sit down on the floor to observe and handle the puppies.

In this kind of an environment, the person did not select the puppy; the puppy selected the person. In less than a minute, the most aggressive puppy bowled over his brothers and climbed up into the lap of the lady from Stone Cottage. The dog wiggled his nose between the buttons of her blouse and put his head against her warm tummy. At this instant, the selection process was over. There was no way this good lady was leaving the Cascade Retriever Kennel without her newfound friend.

The necessary monetary transactions were consummated, and then there was considerable paperwork to record this small puppy’s rather distinguished lineage. The dog’s father lived in Virginia, where he was a grand field champion of considerable renown. The mother resided at the Cascade Retriever Kennel and had distinguished herself in the Northwest Field Trials. The mother had taken a vacation to Virginia for a social call with this distinguished gentleman, and the puppies were conceived.

The excited residents of Stone Cottage.

2 Selection of Your Dog

When people purchase a dog, they usually make a decision based upon a nice dog that lived down the street or a cute dog in the pet-store window or a very friendly dog at an animal shelter. After a few months of ownership, the proud new dog owners go down and buy some books to learn about the breed they have purchased. Considering that a dog is a $20,000 to $35,000 investment over the lifetime of the dog, it would seem that a more commonsense approach would be to obtain some books and study the characteristics of the breed before making the purchase. However, the kindly couple in Stone Cottage exercised none of this prudence and decided upon a Labrador Retriever because their neighbors in Michigan had a black Lab named Magic. The dog was friendly and the name Magic for a black Lab was so perfect. Both of these were, obviously, perfectly adequate reasons to make a $30,000 investment.

There are three distinct strains of Labrador Retrievers. The first strain is guide dogs. These dogs are peaceful, lovable, very interested in their owners, and have little interest in other dogs. They like to have physical contact with their masters, like leaning up against their legs. They do not even think about chasing rabbits, squirrels, or raccoons.

The second strain is the everyday, household Labrador Retriever. These are fun, energetic dogs that love people, especially children. These are the Labs that give the breed its great reputation.

Finally, there are the field-trial Labrador Retrievers. When they are out of their cages, they are explosive. They are taught when retrieving to go in a straight line from the hunter directly to the bird. They go over fences, through brush at lightning speed, bowling over whatever is in their way. These dogs are born to retrieve, and boy, are they good at it. Retrieving is their play; retrieving is their fun; retrieving is their work; retrieving is their life. Field-trial Labrador Retrievers are taught at an early stage that they will not fail in retrieving the designated downed game. They will persist until they find and return with the bird.

Labradors have incredibly sensitive noses. Their noses are approximately three hundred thousand times more sensitive than a human nose. This means that