It’S a Wonderful Unfinished Life

By Carla Kringer

Our personal choices in life have profound often devastating effects on the lives others. This is the story of Jo Jo Gigliotti; he lived a wonderful, unfinished life. His daughter, Carla shares the journey her family was forced to take after they were left to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives when his life was taken by a drunk driver on April 24, 2008.
The book is written in keeping with the vow the family made to be the voice of her dad and other victims of drinking and driving. It will take you into the heart of the tragedy where the familys healing was hindered due to the criminal proceedings involved with the prosecution of the drunk driver. Families facing a similar situation will find detailed information and resources to help them understand and navigate the complex criminal justice system. You will receive a glimpse into the roles of law enforcement, prosecutors, and defense attorneys during the prosecution of the drunk driver and the heart-wrenching toll the process takes on the family.
Carlas life was forever changed that day. She has embraced the traumatic event a drunk driver embedded in her family history, in hope that others will gain knowledge while receiving comfort, and healing, knowing they can emerge from the darkness brought by death and grief. You may not emerge the same person you were but you can emerge a survivor with peace and hope restored in your life once again. That is Carlas wish for you as you read her fathers story and share in her familys walk through grief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493112418

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Carla Kringer.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2013918475

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4931-1240-1

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4931-1239-5

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4931-1241-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 11/05/2013

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Prologue

It’s a Wonderful Unfinished Life

Predictions

Jo Jo the Character

Jo Jo the Protector

Irony

Serendipity to Surreality

Details Emerge… A Preventable Tragedy

Quest for Answers

Beacons of Light

Roadside Angel

Choosing the Casket

The Wake

The Aftermath

The Power of the Pen

In Retrospect… Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

The Standard Speaker Pay It Forward Contest

It’s Complicated, Understanding Criminal Proceedings

The Wheels of Justice Turn Slow

Victim’s Rights

Preliminary Hearing

Other Angels Among Us

The Battle of Motivational Boot Camp

Jim Thorpe Another War Casualty

Pretrial Motions

Pretrial Conference

Happy Holidays… Not

Impact Statements

The Wait for Sentencing

February 2, 2009… Judgment Day

Right to Appeal

The Office of the Victim Advocate and Other Victim Service Agencies

Wounds Ripped Wide Open

What Happens When There is No Plea

Keeping Our Vow

Then and Now… The Multitude of Impacts

It Was a Wonderful Life

No Happily Ever After, Only Healing

Pennies From Heaven

Bibliography

This book is dedicated to the memory of

A loving husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather, and friend

Jo Jo Gigliotti

Special blessings and remembrance to all victims (both living and deceased) of drunk driving

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank the following agencies and individuals for their assistance and support by providing information and resources to include in this book, with gratitude for your dedication and effort. You are heroes in the battlefield of crime, pursuing justice for the victims and their families. Your work made a difference to my family.

My heartfelt thanks and gratitude are extended to the Luzerne County District Attorney’s Office with special mention to Alexis Falvello and Mike Vough (now Judge Vough) for their dedication and belief in the criminal system and for fighting for justice on behalf of my father and other victims of drinking and driving.

Thanks and gratitude are extended to the Luzerne County Victim/Witness Unit with special mention to Shannon Peduto, the Office of the Victim Advocate with special mention of Pam Behr and Carol Lavery, the PA DUI Memorial Garden, the Department of Corrections with special mention of Sue McNaughton, and the Pennsylvania Board of Parole and Probation with special mention of Sherry Tate.

Special gratitude and thanks to the Butler Township Police Department for their service and dedication. My family is forever grateful to Chief Pavelko and Sergeant Feussner for their professionalism, compassion, and commitment to keep our community and highways safe.

A very special thanks to MADD for their courage, dedication, and diligence in being the collective voice for all victims of drinking and driving. A very special acknowledgment and thanks to Joe Clifford, a MADD representative. He is a true advocate for victims of drinking and driving.

I want to thank my friends Holly Hischak, Sue Johnson, Betsy Morris, and Susanne Kreider for being sounding boards as I expressed my grief. Special thanks to Dana Daugherty for introducing me to The Walk and for providing inspiration and motivation during this long process.

My deepest and most sincere gratitude goes to my family. They have been in the trenches with me during this battle. Writing this book has rekindled their grief but they supported my mission willingly in the hope of helping others.

Last, but most certainly not least, I want to thank my husband Joe. His encouragement supported me through the demons of doubt. Twice he endured the emotional upheaval of this tragedy. First, when the tragedy occurred; a second time was seeing me relive it writing this book. He is my greatest support. Words cannot adequately express my love and deep gratitude to him for always being there when I needed him.

Prologue

George Bailey was the main character in the Christmas classic, It’s a Wonderful Life. In this movie, George dedicated his whole life giving to his family and the people of Bedford Falls. George was a giver. He experiences a major problem when his Uncle Billy loses a bank deposit that could cost George the business his father founded and worse yet, George could be sent to jail. This pushes George over the edge. He becomes so distraught; he attempts to take his own life by jumping from a bridge.

An overwhelming amount of prayers said by George’s family and friends brings divine intervention to help George during his darkest hour. Clarence, an angel trying to earn his wings, is sent to Earth to help George, and just in the nick of time. Clarence saves George from the icy jump he took from the bridge. Clarence’s job is only beginning when he saves George from the icy waters after he leaped from the bridge. After being rescued, George declares to Clarence that he wished he had never been born.

Clarence wisely grants George his wish showing George what it would be like if he had never been born. George never realized the value of his own life. He came to find that his life was intricately connected to so many other lives. The existence of people and the survival of Bedford Falls as George knew it was dependent on him being born. He learned people don’t live in isolation. Every person is connected to other people.

Clarence gave George a rare gift. He gave him the gift of knowing the impact his life had on others through a live view of the world without him. In the end, George asks Clarence to give him his life back when he realized he had a wonderful life.

But what happens when you already know you have a wonderful life? When you appreciate, value, and live every day to the fullest!

What happens when you wake up and say, I must be doing okay today because my name wasn’t in the obituary? What happens when your life is cut short because of the careless choice of another?

This is the story of Jo Jo Gigliotti. He lived a wonderful, unfinished life. This is the story of a family left to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives after Jo Jo was taken in a senseless, one hundred percent preventable tragedy.

The story will take you through the heart of the tragedy where I pray you will receive comfort and hope knowing you can emerge from the darkness death and grief brings. You may not emerge the same person you were, but you can emerge a survivor with peace and hope restored once again in your life. That is my wish for you as you read my father’s story and my family’s walk through grief.

It’s a Wonderful Unfinished Life

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I start prior to the change in my life, so you will have an understanding of where I was mentally and emotionally at that time. Think of it as background knowledge.

It was a Saturday, and since I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, I was enjoying my usual Saturday ritual . . . ahhh, sleeping in. I have to get up early five days a week to be at work by 7:15 a.m., so sleeping in on a Saturday always feels like a little bit of heaven.

My husband, Joe, on the other hand, is an early riser. You know what they say about opposites attracting. He is always good about allowing me this Saturday luxury, and this Saturday was no different, except I didn’t know he had a surprise in store for me when I woke up.

I can’t say exactly what time I woke up. I only know that it was later than my 5:30 a.m. rise and shine. I do know that when I woke and went into the living room, my husband gave me my hot morning tea and said he had a surprise for me.

I asked, What kind of surprise?

He said, I am not telling you, but this is what you need to do for me, you need to get dressed in comfortable clothes and shoes and bring a dressier change of clothes with you.

I again asked, What for?

He said, Don’t worry about it. I have a special day planned for us.

Now you might wonder, what was the special occasion that called for the special treat? Truth be told, there was no special occasion other than my husband knowing I had been under a great deal of stress recently. I had completed my Master’s Degree in Secondary School Counseling and had been actively seeking a guidance counselor position. I interviewed at Jim Thorpe for a school guidance counselor position early in April. I was very anxious to hear if I would be the candidate selected for the position. I was supposed to know in the middle of April, but there was a bump in the road as the school board delayed the hiring due to President Clinton visiting Jim Thorpe to promote Hillary’s potential selection as a presidential candidate. Although I love Hillary, and thought she would have made a great presidential candidate, I was a little upset that this caused a delay in the hiring. The board missed putting the guidance position on the earlier April agenda and the next board meeting would not be held until April 28.

Anyone who has ever waited for news on a job they really wanted can understand how stressful the waiting can be.

How I wanted it to be April 28. How I wanted time to go by quickly. How I wished the next few weeks would go bye in a flash. One of my dad’s words of wisdom flood my mind, Be careful what you wish for. His words of wisdom now haunt my memory of those thoughts and wishes as you will find as my story unfolds.

My husband knew I needed to relax and forget about everything for a day so he planned a special day just for me. Maybe as you read the events my husband planned for me that day you might think what is so special about that, but I will tell you this in retrospect, it was the most romantic and special gift my husband ever gave me.

I prepared for the day the way Joe instructed. I dressed in comfortable shoes and clothes and brought another change of nicer clothes with me not knowing where or what awaited me for the day.

Looking back, I think that God wanted me to have the gift of a peaceful day. He knew a storm was coming my way, one that I was not prepared to handle, one I had never experienced before, and one I pray I will never experience again.

I’ve learned to appreciate life every day. Every moment is a blessing. I count my blessings and consider my husband, Joe one of them. The scars left behind are hidden from the view of the public but are forever present in my mind and heart. One of the deepest scars I carry is that when life is going good, I fear something bad is on the horizon.

The first stop of the day was a picnic lunch at Council Cup. This involves a little hike through the woods and ends with a spectacular view of the Susquehanna River Valley. It was a great start to the day.

Next on his secret mission was a visit to downtown Jim Thorpe. Even before I interviewed at Jim Thorpe, I loved visiting and going through all the little unique shops in that town. It was a nice day and we walked, shopped, talked, and laughed. I really enjoyed the down time. We went to church where I again said a prayer for time to go quickly so I would find out if my prayers of getting hired would be answered. Getting the job was so important to me. I learned what I thought was really important, really wasn’t.

The next stop brought us to Penn’s Peak for dinner, which I really enjoyed. I thought that was the end of the day because by that time it was about 7:00 p.m., but my husband still had other plans.

He said, The day still is not over. He still had one more surprise up his sleeve. So back to the car we went without him divulging our next stop.

We drove about forty minutes; I had no idea what to expect next. Our destination was Ozzies Fun Center in Leesport. I thought he was crazy, and I was right, but it was the kind of crazy I needed. Joe’s plan brought out the kid in me, the kid in both of us.

We raced in go carts, played in the arcade, and ended with a few games of laser tag. It was really fun. We didn’t get home until 11:00 p.m. that night. The two of us were exhausted like two kids. I slept like a baby that night not knowing that those peaceful, restful nights would soon be coming to an end.

I went to bed thinking, life is really good, but I realized even though I appreciated the day, I really didn’t fully appreciate it.

Predictions

Ticktock, time was counting down the things that were really important, only I did not know it.

I believe the date was Sunday, April 20. Please forgive me, because I didn’t know at the time that I should be keeping a journal of the precious moments in my life. It may have been Saturday, April 12, or Sunday, April 13.

I had always expressed wanting to check out a psychic fair. I was curious and have an interest in the paranormal. There was a body, mind, and spirit fair hosted at the Ramada Inn in Hazleton and I told my husband I wanted to check it out.

Joe came with me along with our daughter, Faith. When I walked in, I remember thinking, this is not what I expected. I share this with you not because I want you to believe in psychics, but to have an understanding of events that happened prior.

When I myself look back on this day, I really can’t comprehend or understand it. I only know that it happened and I wish I could have done more to prevent it. I wish I could have changed the outcome!

We walked around the fair which was very small. It was small enough to fit into a conference area at the hotel.

There were tables with different types of healing stones, a table for Reiki, and the tables that caught my curiosity the most were those with the psychics. There were at least four different psychics there that particular day. I walked around trying to get a sense as to what they were doing. One man was actually touching people’s heads and making predictions. I certainly wasn’t open to having anyone touch my head so that table was definitely out of the question.

Joe said, Go ahead and talk with one of the psychics. He knew I had been curious about having a psychic reading. But I said, No, not today.

Joe kept saying, Why not? You always wanted to have a reading, and now is the perfect time. I kept saying no, but he could tell that I wanted to try it. So I just stood and watched the line of people waiting for a reading and listened to the conversations of those people.

There were two women conversing and one said that a particular psychic was really accurate, as she had been to her for a reading before. She wanted to meet with her again. So after listening and Joe encouraging me, I decided to meet with the psychic woman the two people in line had been talking about.

I had one goal in mind when I agreed to meet with the psychic, and that was solely to find out if I was going to get the job in Jim Thorpe. I thought it would be fun and really didn’t really give much credence to the psychic, but I was there and thought, Why not, what could it hurt?

I got in line to be read by the female psychic whose name I learned months after my reading was Ann Drago. I had to wait quite a bit for my turn, and when I was next, I reluctantly followed her to her table. Truth be told, she looked worn out even though she was young, maybe in her forties, and her hands shook.

I questioned if I had made a mistake. What was I thinking?

She asked what I wanted, and since I didn’t know she talked about the types of readings she could do. I don’t remember all of the types she offered, I only remember settling on a tarot card reading.

She told me to shuffle the cards and stop when I felt it was the right time and then to divide the cards into three piles. I did as she instructed and she proceeded with the reading.

The first card she turned over she said was what I remember her calling, The Angel of Death.

I had instant regret for having opened this can of worms. I immediately began to shake and tears came to my eyes.

Seeing my reaction, Ann comforted me saying the card didn’t necessarily mean the death of a person, it could mean the end of a relationship or the end of a job. And since I wanted the end of my current job, I began to relax. The next cards revealed a pretty good description of people in my life, a strikingly accurate portrait of me, family members, and things going on in my life.

Ann then turned over a card, and I don’t know what the card was but she followed up with a question to me, one that made me go on the defensive.

She asked, Do you have a drinking problem?

Perplexed, I nervously answered, No, I really only drink socially. And by that, I meant very occasionally. I felt like I had to defend myself and convince her I didn’t have a drinking problem.

She was persistent in her questioning, making me feel like I was lying. She then followed with another question, Do you know someone with a drinking problem? I thought for a moment and thought she might be referring to a family member who was having a problem at the time.

Ann went through half the deck of cards then placed a second card on top of the very first card, which if you don’t remember was The Angel of Death. Shocked for a second time with the turning of this card, Ann said, Within six months, you are going to have a death in your family.

I felt the color drain from my face and my stomach began to turn. I was so scared for my children and my husband. Ann said, It won’t be an immediate family member. I relaxed a little. I know that sounds selfish, but I thought that when she said, it wouldn’t be an immediate family member I thought that meant my closest family would be safe. I was wrong.

She continued with the reading and two more times brought up the subject of alcohol and how someone with a problem with alcohol was going to bring a lot of trouble to myself and my family. Little did I know at the time how accurate her reading would be.

All I really wanted to know was, Am I going to get the job at Jim Thorpe? She certainly revealed to me more than I really wanted to know.

Joe and Faith comforted me saying, Don’t worry about it. Tarot cards can’t really predict the future.

All of us sadly came to know Ann was very accurate in her tarot card reading. It did not take six months to learn how accurate she was.

Guilt still permeates through me, as I am tormented with the thought of, What could I have done to prevent it?

Jo Jo the Character

Jo Jo was a little Italian man well known in McAdoo. He was my dad. He enjoyed walking and socializing. He was a janitor for the Hazleton Area School District for over thirty-three years. The majority of the time was spent as a custodian for Kelayres Elementary which later closed when a new school was built. It was replaced by McAdoo-Kelayres Elementary. His notoriety may not have begun here, but this is where it certainly blossomed. He loved to tell jokes, and not all of them clean and/or politically correct because he enjoyed making people laugh. That was one of his greatest gifts.

I always felt special walking next to him growing up because it was like walking with a celebrity. You couldn’t go too far without someone yelling, Hey, Jo Jo. We often joked calling him the "unofficial mayor