Laughing at Yourself: About Almost Anything and Everything

By Frank E. Burdett

Frank E. Burdett is a survivor from seriousness. This is no laughing matter and only needs a simple explanation. Frank decided to divorce himself from all seriousness in an effort to gain control of his sense of humour. Once he attained his sense of humour he realised that the amount of absurdity and nonsense that abounds in society can only be diagnosed, in the gentlest of terms, as over-seriousness of epidemic proportions.
Frank has researched and evaluated the importance of nurturing your sense of humour in order to balance the well-being of people everywhere, especially against the high degrees of stress, both emotional and work-associated challenges that attack everyone today. He came to the conclusion that people of all persuasions have completely lost the knack of being able to step aside and have a good and free laugh at themselves. Therefore, the time has come for you to learn to laugh at yourself and live longer!
Frank knows the effects of harrowing trauma, being attacked, mauled and carried away by a man-eating tiger and, curing himself of spreading melanoma cancer of the neck/shoulder, both lungs, liver and bowel cancer. He had been diagnosed by orthodox medicine as stage IV and given six months to live. He tuned to find an alternative cure. He has now been four years free of cancer. Frank devised a technique whereby, even you, can benefit and learn to laugh at yourself. You have nothing to lose, except your overpowering seriousness.
Frank spent three years delving into the properties of laughing at yourself and he soon realised that there is more to laughing than showing a set of teeth. Laughing at yourself allows you the complete freedom to see stress and serious-ness in their proper light, as a threat to your long-lasting happiness.
This is your opportunity to take a real look at yourself by using Franks technique to step on the path towards learning the Art of Happiness. You either want to be free from the pangs of stress and seriousness, or you do not! Your choice!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Mar 17, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493134625

Frank E. Burdett

Life has no particular ceremony for choosing people to be thrust into the open public arena, whether favourable or not. Many times this happens with or without any actual input by that unsuspecting human being. Frank E. Burdett is one such person. He volunteered and joined the New Zealand Army to fight the Terrorists in the jungles of Malaysia. In one single night, his life changed forever when a man-eating tiger chose him as its next victim. Frank was attacked, mauled and dragged backwards along the rough and uneven jungle floor. This experience is related in his book, “Sons of the Brave”. Frank was diagnosed with terminal metastasized melanoma cancer. In July 2010 he was given 6 months to live after surgery and radiation treatment for cancer of both lungs, liver and bowel; but he then decided to undertake an alternative medical treatment and has been, to date, four years free of any cancer. He was encouraged to write his story by a leading oncologist in Brisbane in order to help other cancer victims. That book is entitled “I Survived Metastacised Melanoma Cancer!” “The Purple Tree” was written during his recovery period and allowed him to freely research his material, through friends, neighbours and well-meaning Australians. It has taken a long time to bring to light this interesting story about life in the Outback.

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Copyright © 2014 by Frank E. Burdett.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 02/18/2014

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

1-800-455-039

www.xlibris.com.au

[e-mail]

601855

Contents

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Introduction Why I Wrote this Book

CHAPTER ONE

HAPPINESS

1.   The Art of Happiness

2.   Cause of Happiness

3.   Levels of Happiness

4.   Culture And Happiness

5.   Formulas for Happiness

6.   Stress Represses Happiness

7.   Misjudging Your Happiness

8.   Happiness and Expectations

9.   What is Happiness?

10. Women’s Happiness?

CHAPTER TWO

MORE HAPPINESS

11. Workplace Happiness

12. Restoring Happiness

13. Old Home-Town Happiness

14. Retirement & Happiness

15. What Makes Happiness?

16. Predicting Happiness

17. Effort For Happiness

18. Happiness & Good Health

CHAPTER THREE

OH! HAPPY DAYS!

19. Born Happy

20. How to be Happy

21. Being Happy is Being Yourself

22. Consistently Happy

23. What Makes Work Meaningful?

CHAPTER FOUR

HUMOUR’S CHALLENGES

24. Degrees of Humour

25. Are Women Without Humour?

26. Couriers of Humour

27. Comedy and Humour

28. Power of the Fool’s Humour

29. Humour Unmasked

30. Black Humour & GallowsHumour

31. Developing a Sense of Humour

CHAPTER FIVE

A Little Laughter

Goes a Long Way!

32. What is Laughter?

33. Laugh Deficiency Disorder

34. Living With Laughter

35. Laughing at Yourself

36. The Last Laugh

References and Notes

Bibliography

Index

Frank E. Burdett is also the author of:

THE RHYME OF THE ANCIENT CAMPAIGNER

(A True Story of 270 Rhyming Verses)

SONS OF THE BRAVE (Revised Edtn)

ADVENTURES ALONG THE OREGON TRAIL

I SURVIVED METASTACISED MELANOMA CANCER!

THE PURPLE TREE

Acknowledgements

There are always numerous people who work behind-the-scenes, unpaid and usually, unsung. Therefore, allow me to bring some of those forward to show my appreciation:

•   Pat Sutton, of Macleay Island, who appreciates the value of laughing at yourself, said that she couldn’t put the manuscript down!

•   Clive Andrews, of Queensland, said: So much of what I have read already has really made me think! This book can help me change my life. I feel happier knowing I can.

•   Richard Robertson, said: "Any book that makes me think has to be good!"

•   Jim McCorkle, Ontario, Canada, said: Everyone should get something out of this work, either by taking that necessary step to move forwards or by knowing which way to turn at those crossroads of their life.

•   Don P. Geard, of Auckland, New Zealand, who said just before his passing: Everyone who has any doubts whatsoever should pick up this book and study it carefully, because it is well-written and full of information to help those with low self-esteem. Great book!

Dedication

Confucius say:

He who have last laugh, not get joke.

To all of those who wish to live their own lives, not a life dictated by others.

The Secret to Life is in knowing and practicing the strategy of the Art of Happiness. The key to complete happiness is in accepting that there is no path to happiness, because happiness IS the path. The complete process starts from within—by learning about laughing at yourself. Once you accept this happy concept then life will be full of fun, laughter—and meaning. There is nothing more important than having a keen sense of humour. Once you have learned how to laugh at yourself, you are then more relaxed with the person you are and even more relaxed with those around you.

In our humanistic culture, people pursue many paths, thinking that in following that journey they will, in the end, find meaning to life. Some of these pathways include business success, wealth, good relationships, sex, entertainment, and doing good to others. People have testified that while they achieved their goals of wealth, relationships, and pleasure, there was still a deep void inside, a feeling of emptiness that nothing seemed to fill. As an example: an athlete who had reached the pinnacle of his sport was asked what he wished someone would have told him when he first started playing his sport. He replied, I wish that someone would have told me that when you reach the top, there’s nothing further there. Many paths reveal their emptiness only after years have been wasted in their following. Therefore, is life meaningless? Therefore, we maybe, need to laugh at ourselves!

Introduction

Why I Wrote this Book

I wrote this book for YOU! Because you and just about everybody else needs an explanation as to why so many people are unhappy and stressed out most of the time. One explanation that is high on the list of the Most Wanted Explanations is that most people have lost their senses of humour and have no idea where to find them! Is that a strange happenstance or not? But, I ask, how can you lose a sense of humour when you never had one in the first instance? Some people just don’t know how to laugh or what to laugh at these days. You want something to laugh at? I will give you something to laugh at. Do you want to know something really funny? I will tell you for free. It is YOU who is really funny and I can prove it, too!

Although, it takes some degree of intelligence to understand certain jokes, it would be false to maintain, absolutely at least, that laughter is necessarily a sign of human intelligence. There’s stupid laughter. There’s maniacal laughter. There’s the almost mechanical laughter of the little child who is tickled. Not forgetting the various tones of chortles and guffaws that make up the chorus of what is termed laughter. There are many forms of humour, each one of which is designed to make us laugh. Few things are better than a good laugh. The extent of the laughter, however, depends on whether a sense of humour has been encouraged to develop. There are levels of humour that are acceptable to some sectors of society, but not all. Certain types of humour have their own followers—satire and black humour, for example. Therefore, it’s necessary to sharpen your own level of humour to that which suits you best. There’s nothing worse than attempting to politely laugh while feeling great discomfort with the subject matter. It’s easy enough to laugh at the expense of somebody else or a particular comedian. The shoe is on the other foot when it comes to someone laughing at you. Yet, laughing at yourself takes a certain amount of skill. But the techniques written in this book are straightforward enough that anyone who can read plain English can easily follow them.

My motive for writing this book is largely to encourage people, like you, to laugh at yourselves. How you react to laughing at yourself is a lesson in itself. The sad part is that unless you understand the reason for laughing at yourself, there’s no incentive to even begin. The reason, therefore, is to be able to appreciate the overall benefits of laughter and happiness to yourself, ending with a well-balanced state of well-being and a long life. It’s my intentionality to show that humour and laughter results in a marked degree of happiness. This will lead to less stress in your life, better health and longevity, provided you can laugh at yourself.

What makes the contrast in the quality of people’s lives? The quality of life is interpreted somewhat differently between the varying racial groups and individual people with the meaning of quality having more than one interpretation. The main difference lies between having the ability of laughing at yourself or, on the other hand, having been deprived of laughing at yourself. The former is greatly beneficial whereas, the latter is devastating.

Initially, my intention was to write an article on the subject of laughing and longevity for a local newsletter. The deeper I became engrossed in the subject, however, I realised the immensity and complexity of the data involved. One challenge was the enormous change taking place in the world. Attitudes to life, morals, values, religion or spiritual matters, have all deteriorated at a quickening rate. Unfortunately, there is a total lack of set perimeters established or even set in place, to replace the erosion taking place.

My concern was: where does happiness register in all this upheaval and chaos? As a result I have spent more than three years in research and writing, including many hours conversing with a cross-section of people from England, Scotland, France, Florida, northern and southern California, Australia and New Zealand on the topic of personal well-being. I frequently asked: In your personal opinion, can you tell me what happiness is?

While awaiting a passenger train from Edinburgh to Glasgow a thought suddenly occurred: what if the subject regarding laughter was yourself? Here I was, on an almost deserted railway station platform at 9 o’clock at night, with three rather sombre Scots passengers sitting motionless. We had just been informed by an announcement with a heavy Scottish brogue that the scheduled train to Glasgow had been cancelled, with the next train not arriving for another hour. The thought of laughing out loud at my predicament seemed appropriate. If I had started laughing, however, it may have been interpreted by my sombre audience that I had somehow lost the plot and was experiencing a nervous breakdown. I was aware Scots have a sense of humour. But I was unsure as to what degree, especially at railway station platforms. It made me more aware of how serious people in the twenty-first century have become. Has society lost the capacity to actually laugh at itself? Well, I haven’t. At that precise moment I had serious misgivings for our society. I needed to discover if society was still blind to laughing at itself or too engrossed in itself to care. Laughing, especially, at yourself, can only be accomplished if you have a reasonable sense of humour in the first place. Yet, maintaining a good sense of humour is no joke! In the second place, you can only reach a state of happiness by perfecting a balance with your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual qualities, plus having a good sense of humour.

I became even more determined to delve further into the puzzling question: What is Happiness? I explored the possibility that suffering promoted happiness. I researched into whether or not merchandise, jobs, religious practices, retirement, marriage, love, stress, various degrees of comedy, health, intelligence or swinging social tendencies played a part in engineering personal happiness and well-being. Further aspects explored were the qualities of emotions, spiritual need, mentality, attitude and outlook relating to personal happiness.

The reasons for being happy are as numerous as for being unhappy. There are just as many reasons for laughing, as there are for being happy—or unhappy. Is it a question of imbalance in people’s lives as to why there’s a lack of happiness? It’s categorically impossible to gauge the precise number of people who have an imbalance in their lives. Unfortunately, the tragedy is that many human beings are actually unaware that there’s even an imbalance in their lives. The simple explanation is that their mental, physical, spiritual and emotional qualities are all out of kilter. Without the least shadow of a doubt, unless and until the imbalance between these qualities is corrected, there will never be a unified state of happiness in their lives. Consequently, for many, many people, their outlook at least in the immediate future will decidedly be rather mundane, with even more unhappiness.

Laughing at Yourself About Almost Anything and Everything offers to everyone who is either exceedingly unhappy, moderately unhappy or slightly unhappy, the opportunity to discover how to tickle their funny-bone and rejuvenate their diminished sense of humour. This work was written to clearly express how you can have a far happier life. Happier in the sense that you will be able to laugh freely, because you will soon know how to laugh at yourself, which in itself, is a remarkable achievement. How? I will tell you. Once you have learned how to laugh at yourself there will be no limit to the scope of your humour. Accordingly, you will experience an overall abundance of vibrancy, elevating you into a wonderful state of well-being. Yet, similar to many things worthwhile, it isn’t an easy exercise with immediate results. For maintaining a state of happiness is an on-going way-of-life, although with constant practise, you can master the technique within a relatively short period. Sooner or later in life everyone realises at some point in time or another that they are either happy or unhappy. The choices taken at that point are entirely up to them, of course. Although, most people will agree that being happy is far more pleasant than being unhappy. Only someone who is mentally deficient would choose to remain permanently unhappy.

Laughing at Yourself About Almost Anything and Everything is directed towards those who wish to make the choice to be happier—now! Inside these pages are recommendations and other data offered to help you acquire the knowledge and skills needed to enjoy a balanced and happy life. Ask yourself this question: am I presently happy? Do I want to be happier than I am at present? We all have different answers. My own answer is as follows:

To know that I was born for this specific time; this specific place on earth and to also know there’s something within, larger than all of it. This gives me the strength and purpose to do many things. But best of all is the knowledge that you were born to laugh—at these times, at the happenings around you—but chiefly at yourself!

Humans were offered hope through religious scriptures expounding life-span to be three score years and ten. That’s seventy years in today’s terms. Reaching beyond the age of seventy is now commonplace. However, there are tragic worldwide reports announcing some people’s lifespan range between 19 years to 27 years. Most of these unfortunate individuals have shortened their own lives through various pressures and stresses of life. There’s a remedy to curtail many misunderstandings of people with deep troubles who postpone their happiness; what I prefer to call deferred happiness as opposed to depression. That word is too despairing! It should be looked on as a minor, momentary lapse of happiness. It doesn’t stop there. Within all walks of life there are people who appear to be numbed by the stress they suffer. Nobody whistles while they work at all. Why? This whole area of stress isn’t caused, solely, by social stresses and pressures. People have become undermined to a degree where they have forgotten how to laugh and what to laugh at.

The reason why they need to laugh is more important, even it’s only for their health. The main focus of stress has been upon themselves and their own work-a-day environment.

Laughing at Yourself About Almost Anything and Everything will teach you how to vastly reduce your stress levels, thereby putting you into full motion towards happiness and to the fulfilment of your yearning. Where is your happiness? Start reading and find out.

However, I am sad, as many are not wise enough to laugh at their own ignorance.

Frank E. Burdett,

February, 2014

Chapter One

HAPPINESS

1.  THE ART OF HAPPINESS

2.  CAUSE OF HAPPINESS

3.  LEVELS OF HAPPINESS

4.  CULTURE AND HAPPINESS?

5.  FORMULAS FOR HAPPINESS

6.  STRESS REPRESSES HAPPINESS

7.  MISJUDGING YOUR HAPPINESS

8.  HAPPINESS AND EXPECTATIONS

9.  WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

10. WOMEN’S HAPPINESS

1

The Art of Happiness

These present times have proven to be very important for mankind in numerous ways. From a human perspective, these times are the most stimulating, exciting, mind-boggling and inventive. On the other hand, they are, unfortunately, the most stressful and frustrating times in the history of mankind’s development. People are learning faster, growing faster, moving faster and changing faster. There’s a change of ideas of fixed orders, in the methods and patterns of systems, employment, with more inventiveness and pronounced thinking. The seventeenth century brought in the Age of Enlightenment. The twenty-first century could be heralded as the Age of Frustration. It is an age in which the world’s environment has almost reached the point of no return or crossing the Rubicon, as the historians say. It’s all extremely complicated and these complications themselves, even though they are mainly mankind’s own inventions, they tend to overrule mankind. The quantum leap in computer technology is just one example of man’s inventions mastering him. Many of the most laborious and exhausting complications of present life are difficult to apply meaning to, leading to vast numbers of stressed out people who are all too accustomed to acute feelings of frustration. Even the minority of the healthiest of society is caught up in the mind-numbing stresses of the workplace and society.

A contributing factor for these feelings of frustration is that the present world is too imbalanced. Life has become a patchwork of unfulfilled expectations, because life is changing too fast to allow any fundamental and intelligent survey of life overall. People feel trapped in a world, where no longer are there guidelines for a meaningful life. They want to flee from an environment where they have little, or no input, amid all the chaos and stress that abounds. They seek a place of refuge within an atmosphere where no thought and judgment are necessary. They want, and need, to escape from where the first principles of careful thought and judgment are everywhere denied, ignored or disobeyed, in a society riddled by abundant over-seriousness, total absurdity, clear-cut nonsense and mind-numbing political correctness. Their ideal refuge, therefore, may be summed up in that comprehensible phrase: peace of mind.

For those who feel trapped by their frustrations there is an avenue of escape from this predicament. It’s especially designed for those who want to understand the causes of nonsense. There’s no need to silently suffer the pangs of frustration any longer. What you need to eliminate your frustrations is a shift in your focus. Trying to overcome old beliefs by substituting new ones, doesn’t work. Instead, focus on identifying and then discarding old beliefs that no longer work. Only you know those failed beliefs.

What do people think about mostly? It may be surprising, but I will tell you. People think more about what to wear than they do about what to eat. If you feel satisfied with your appearance then you are more than likely prepared to go out for a meal. However, one issue remains. While you are chewing away on your food, there’s a strong possibility that there’s a good chance that an inner gnawing urge is festering inside of you at the same time. The food is great. The wine is great, too, but there’s something missing. It is that gnawing urge to appease a thirst, a desperate one. It’s the thirst for long-lasting happiness.

This particular thirst lingers much longer than most others. The thirst for water is quenched once you have had your fill. Happiness has another course. This thirst never ceases. Once you have had a taste of happiness, you want to continue that wonderful sensation. Even so, true happiness only comes to those who have peace of mind, and display by a sense of well-being. Well-being relies on a source of various mixtures, one of which is having a keen sense of humour, coupled with the ability to freely laugh. To be able to laugh at things that are humorous is very important. If you only realised it, the most amusing source of amusement is yourself.

Happiness is born out of a keen sense of humour. That is why no baby is born into this world laughing. They enter this world with a slap and they don’t take that as a joke. You have to learn all the skills of laughing and without a sense of humour to begin with, the lesson may be rather long before you even start to laugh. When people are born they start learning and from then on it is an on-going process. People naturally wonder and explore their way into unknown areas. They invent and ask awkward questions, wanting easy answers to difficult questions. People try to find out just who they are, where they come from, why they are here and how they belong. Yet, people fail to ask the most puzzling question about the human character: why do people laugh? Many people are still awaiting an answer to this question, as a smile never seems to crack their faces. Learning how to be happy is no different from any other learning practice. However, the interesting part is that science has announced new knowledge, which will change people’s awareness of learning and intelligence.

It’s now recognised that human intelligence is made up of a number of potentials for growth that must be deliberately stimulated. Intellect isn’t an independent, fragmented process of gathering together bits and pieces of information alone. It’s an intense process of bringing together meaning, by balancing new learning to existing patterns and creating new patterns of connections.

The brain was previously thought to be a blank state or an unchanging, hardwired computer. The human brain is now accepted as being a complex, living system, with a wonderful pattern-seeking formula whose structures are anything but fixed. This really magnificent, self-adjusting living network substance doesn’t only deteriorate with disuse, but it can also change by growing, by building and uniting together wide-ranging and more intricate and more complex nerve cell connections. Also, it can reshape itself in response to challenging, invigorating and sensory-enriched environments.

What has all this to do with happiness, you may well ask? The power of thought is far-reaching. A thought can be changed and you have the power to change any thought you like. Happiness starts with a thought and thoughts play a powerful role in mind- and brain-shaping. According to author, Stephanie Pace Marshall, PhD, in her book, The Radical New Story of Learning and Schooling: A Call for Leaders, she says, that learning actually changes the physical structure of our brains. Stephanie Pace Marshall is the founding president of the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy. In my opinion, education is a progressive journey of our own intelligence.

PET scans and functional MRI (fMRI) scans have shown differences in people’s brain activity when they think. For example, when men and women perform certain mental tasks, they use their brains slightly differently. In one study with made-up