Abducted by Aliens….: Psychiatric Abuse Poetry

By Desha Blue

Above: The nursery closet just prior to the date in August 2008 when everything suddenly changed.


Abducted by Aliens Psychiatric Abuse Poetry is Desha Blues third book on the impact of psychiatric abuse as well as on the reality of the psychiatric system in general. This collection of poetry and prose is Deshas most focused work yet. Thus Abducted by Aliens, which in truth has nothing to do with outer space beings, is an ideal book for psychiatric abuse victims/survivors, family members of victims/survivors and others who truly want to know the reality of this issue. Readers are forewarned that the material within Abducted by Aliens is brutally honest, hard-hitting, emotionally triggering and highly memorable. This is no unrealistic in the lives of most victims/survivors Girl Interrupted story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499050035

Book preview

Abducted by Aliens…

Psychiatric Abuse Poetry

image001.jpg

Desha Blue

Copyright © 2014 by Desha Blue.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/30/2014

Xlibris LLC

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www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

1.   The Consequences in Part—Reality, It’s Not Nice:

2.   Let the Poetry Begin…

3.   F-Off to the Professionals

4.   Judge Me

5.   De-Railed

6.   The Scope

7.   No Brakes

8.   Utterly Defenseless

9.   Congealing Excuses

10.   Wanting Guilt

11.   Ignorance

12.   Invisible

13.   Blue Dress

14.   Tender Ears

15.   Time Delay

16.   Past, Present and Future

17.   Crushed

18.   Locked and Loaded

19.   Tar

20.   Scott-Free

21.   Numbers

22.   Vacuum

23.   Multitudes

24.   Wreckage

25.   Stolen

26.   Discarded Party

27.   Dr. M@@K S. T@ng

28.   False Image

29.   Mad House

30.   Me

31.   Chance

32.   Throwing the Blame

33.   Drought

34.   Self Loathing

35.   Fun House

36.   Indelible

37.   Prayers

38.   Different

39.   Something Funny

40.   Smegma

41.   The Great Production

42.   Happy

43.   Disposed of Item

44.   Faith Lost

45.   Stench

46.   Descriptions Falter

47.   Worlds

48.   Isolation

49.   Monkeys

50.   Strange Day

51.   Bartender

52.   No Big Deal

53.   Spider Monkeys

54.   Someone Deserving

55.   Do-Gooder

56.   The Rest

57.   Instead of Justice

58.   Unmeasured

59.   Protect That Wrong

60.   Experiment

61.   Decent

62.   Cause it & Study it

63.   I’m Not You

64.   Poison

65.   Books

66.   To the Professionals

67.   Apologize?

68.   Hypermesis Gravidarum

69.   My Body

70.   Names

71.   Sicken

72.   They Know Not…

73.   Commercial Sweat

74.   Alien Theory

75.   Passing the Buck

76.   Forgiveness’ Grace

77.   Profane

78.   Helpers

79.   Quandary

80.   Beans

81.   Always

82.   Georgetown

83.   Sweet Gift

84.   Flicker

85.   Humanness

86.   Remains of a Love Story

87.   True Love

88.   Second Best

89.   Never Existed

90.   Dregs of Society

91.   Progression in PTSD

92.   During Their Secret Meeting

93.   Oily Rubles

94.   Projections

95.   Therapeutic

96.   Gone South

97.   Namby Pamby Bullshit

98.   How Much?

99.   Never

100.   Trying to Flip it

101.   It’s Trash

102.   What It’s Like

103.   Hilarious Really?

104.   Testimony

105.   Doses

106.   Right to Choose

107.   Tricks

108.   Someone from the Past

109.   Find a Reason

110.   Dell’s Blue

111.   Another

112.   Suggestion Box

113.   Sick Hot Ticket

114.   Dear Professionals

115.   Public Commode

116.   Just like Rosary Beads

117.   God’s Bidding

118.   The Crowd

119.   Material Truths

120.   Pass the Buck

121.   No Consequences

122.   Crazy-Maker Business Model

123.   Permission

124.   Truly Innocent

125.   PTSD

126.   Lobster

127.   Pop-Rockets

128.   Eye of Hell

129.   Run

130.   Civilian

131.   Model

132.   Bartender Lull

133.   Call Me Crazy

134.   Wait

135.   No More

136.   Low

137.   Variances

138.   Deaf

139.   Advice

140.   Superhero

141.   Neither Seen

142.   Unique

143.   No Pill-Judgment

144.   Skippety-Hop

145.   Yummy-Yummy

146.   Mrs. Ki Lee

147.   Therapeutic Methodology

148.   Sweet Switch

149.   Hear Me Now

150.   Journal Entries From 2008 Pre-Aug/26/2008:

151.   Off the Rail

152.   The True Events of 2008

153.   During Their Secret Meeting

154.   Board of Behavioral Health Examiners

155.   In My Specific Case 2008

156.   Some of the Policy Change Items This Writer Asked For

157.   Reality Checks Page

We should rank our beliefs not by the plausibility, but by the harm they may cause.

Quote by Nissim Nicholas

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Quote by Martin Luther King Jr.

First rule of the witch hunt; don’t limit yourself to the witches.

Author of original quote is unknown.

Failure to protect is the most harrowing deal breaker of all time.

Quote by S.N.

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw one: Commit the abuse, call it treatment, create the ruins and then blame the ruins the abuse made for all the damages to itself.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw two: Break it then blame it.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw three: As long as there are no external consequences to the clinician for the damages to the client, the damages to the client are marked as a treatment success and the clinician who rendered the treatment is justified as well as righteous.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw four: A client or patient is guilty until proven innocent while everything that client/patient does or says is skewed to continue proving that client’s or patient’s guilt or disordered state even when it in truth proves the polar opposite.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw five: If a clinician is ever proven incorrect and that mistake or error has severely damaged a client or patient, the ruinous mistake is someone else’s fault. The most convenient scapegoat is the client or patient him or herself.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw six: Clients or patients are not human beings on the same level or value as the clinician, if they hold any value at all, and thus the clients or patients are in essence disposable when compared to the success, profit, luxury or personal comfort of the clinician.

Quote by Desha Blue

The unspoken medical and psychiatric ethical bylaw seven: Keep your eye on the money. If one must choose to risk a sacrifice to profitability or a client’s/patients well-being, future or life, risk the client’s/patient’s well-being, future or life as profit for the clinician is far more valuable and the client/patient is likely or surely of no worth anyway. Ask me how I know all of these unspoken bylaws. I only know because actions speak louder than words. Sometimes cliché’s are applicable.

Quote by Desha Blue

Insanity in individuals is something rate—but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule

Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche

I doubt if a single individual could be found from the whole of mankind free from some form of insanity. The only difference is one of degree. A man who sees a gourd and takes it for his wife is called insane because this happens to very few people.

By Desiderius Erasmus

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

Quote by Winston Churchhill

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.

Quote by Thomas Jefferson

I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice no matter who it’s for or against.

Quote by Malcolm X

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained.

Quote by Helen Keller

Whoever saves one life, saves the entire world.

By Itzhak Stern

image002.jpg

Above: The crib in the nursery again, summer 2008, just prior to

late August 2008 when everything suddenly senselessly changed.

This crib was never used. It remains brand new to this day five

years later. The baby clothing in the closet were also never used.

The Consequences in Part—Reality, It’s Not Nice:

This information (below) was finally discovered in September 2012.

A courtroom is not a place where truth and innocence inevitably triumph; it is only an arena where contending lawyers fight not for justice but to win.

Quote (above) by Clarence Darrow

There are limited case studies into the psychological damages of wrongful arrest and/or detainment, yet some research does exist. This research strongly supports that assessments of those held captive without just cause (the innocent) suffer substantial psychiatric morbidity. These damages include enduring personality changes and meet the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder as well as additional mood and anxiety disorders. There are major problems with psychological and social adjustment, particularly within families. The problems these individuals face are very similar to those faced by war veterans (University of Cambridge, Cambridge UK). This is made worse by the reality that unlike war veterans there is no great large brother and sisterhood of fellows who have undergone the same trauma and are available and understanding support persons for the victim of wrongful arrest, conviction and detainment or detainment in places other than jail or prison.

There is a significant legal difference in cases of false arrest and false imprisonment. In a nutshell, false imprisonment, also called intentional tort, occurs when a person has been restrained against his/her will. A false imprisonment has been proven to change a person’s life permanently. There are many cases where the agency or agencies involved have made certain to legally cover their behinds so that the victim of false imprisonment has no chance for any legal remedy. There are some other cases; however, where victims can seek legal remedy and sue for the damages, but the time frame is very short, too short for most victims to process their trauma, find the monetary funds, gather needed evidence, locate a willing attorney and move forward towards justice or partial justice. A victim’s potential to seek legal remedy or sue also varies by State. Some States have a higher population of attorney’s who specialize in this area and are willing to take cases. False imprisonment includes the following scenarios: false imprisonment by police officers, false imprisonment by medical facilities/psychiatric facilities/psychiatrists, false imprisonment by nursing homes, false imprisonment by security and loss prevention staff, false imprisonment by employers, and false imprisonment by shopping centers/malls/theaters/etc.

In lawsuits for this form of abuse emotional suffering, humiliation, physical pain, suffering, discomfort, time of confinement, damages to the victim’s reputation and other issues are taken into consideration and for fortunate victims who can find the funds and an attorney can determine the ultimate monetary settlement for the victim. Money cannot; however, erase what has been done to the victim. Money does not erase the damages the victim will suffer for the rest of his/her life. In theory victims who wish to attempt to sue should seek a Wrongful Imprisonment attorney, if one can be found in that victim’s State and county of residency.

Of all the false allegations possible false allegations of child abuse are the worst and most damaging in both the short-term and the long-term. No other criminal act carries as much repulsion, distaste and potential for harsh punishment and rejection from everyone around the accused person. An individual accused of murder of an adult faces significantly less revulsion and punitiveness than being accused of crimes of child abuse. If imprisoned after allegations of child abuse the accused is in danger from attacks or even a high risk of being killed by fellow inmates regardless of whether the accused is guilty or not. Additional emotional and verbal abuse from prison guards is a typical result as well.

Common documented reactions or beliefs of victims of false arrest or false imprisonment and some of the consequences are listed/stated as the following:

• Misperceptions of the justice system—the accused, friends and family initially believe that the police/other professionals (government/attorneys/judges/etc.) are both motivated and have the resources to charge only those that are truly guilty. The belief is that if the police arrest someone he/she must be guilty. Ditto for other agencies that detain people.

• In reality it is eventually found that the burden, stress, costs of defending against false allegations, which are oftentimes placed on family members, shreds the entire family apart or severely damages the entire family. In cases, such as psychiatric cases where no money for the initial defense of the victim is paid, the damages are equally severe even if they are not caused by the impact of paying for legal services.

• The first response of the falsely accused victim; however, is to believe that the system will work and do what it is supposed to do.

When the system fails to work the person’s views change:

• The falsely accused person loses confidence in his/her own judgments while simultaneously losing confidence in the judgment of agencies, law enforcement and the justice system as a whole. During this time the falsely accused may try out of desperation to find a way in which he/she was partially guilty or guilty in some way to justify or understand what has happened. A person accused of DTO or DTS and locked up may make statements about a reaction to a medication, like a steroid, for example, that can cause psychosis. This is true whether or not the person actually suffered temporary or other psychosis. A person accused of sexual child abuse may question that perhaps he had an erection while asleep and his child saw or touched it while he was asleep or perhaps he accidentally touched his child, rolled over in his sleep and his hand landed on her privates. Etc (In this example his hand flopped onto the child’s chest or bottom/bum. This example is not stating he actively fondled the child). This person or parent likely did not have an erection while sleeping that his child saw in reality. Etc. Even if he did have an erection, he was sleeping and thus he was not molesting his child.

• The person struggles to believe that the system works and that justice will be sought and found. He/she has a strong desperate need to believe that the truth matters.

* The falsely accused begins to further doubt himself/herself and makes increasingly desperate efforts to maintain the concept that he/she is a good person or a good parent (whatever the false allegations threatened).

* The individual eventually resolves the contradictions by becoming certain that the accusing agency and/or person are completely mistaken and that the information/fact collecting process, investigation, process by which he/she was falsely accused is unfair and unjust.

*The person views the system as evil, crooked and unyielding in this manner. An example of this can be seen in reported bumper stickers that advocate killing police and social workers and other similar individuals.

* At this point the person is separated from all the rest of society where MOST others have not been grossly falsely accused and harmed by those types of allegations. The person becomes and feels isolated and alienated. Although the person knows that he/she is truly innocent the person questions what others believe and think of him/her and does not trust what others say. The person additionally feels self-conscious, shame and other negative feelings even though he/she is innocent. These feelings may include self-blame and self-hatred even though the person is innocent.

* The person will at some point find something he/she did that was wrong and experience negative self-feelings or self-hatred (i.e.I shouldn’t have been so stupid as to go to the hospital for medical treatment. Despite my symptoms I should have stayed home. I should have locked the door when I went to sleep every night that way she wouldn’t have possibly seen my erection while I was sleeping in the morning. I must be a stupid pervert after all otherwise I would’ve locked the door.Etc).

* This individual thus suffers EXTREME additional emotional trauma and stress on top of what he/she suffered during the investigation, arrest, being locked up, loss of civil liberties, etc. The person is full of anxiety, fear, depression and rage and may (likely) shows signs of PTSD. He may show signs of PTSD (Horowitz et al. 1980). The most analogous comparable event is that of having a child killed (Horowitz et al. 1980). Exact quote. These reactions and feelings apply equally whether the person falsely accused is male or female.

* The kicker in all of this is that NO SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY OR MENTAL HEALTH SERVICE OR OTHER AGENCY PROVIDES TREATMENT FOR THESE NORMAL RESPONSES to false allegations that are created by a severely traumatic event such as wrongful arrest, the loss even temporarily of civil liberties and whatnot. There is no available treatment for the victim of these abuses.

The stages of the reactions to severe false allegations are as follows:

A) The initial or first stage usually following the arrest, detainment, being locked up, loss if civil liberties, being placed in a psychiatric hospital when one does not belong there, having one’s child taken away, etc. can be characterized by feelings of shock, numbness, unrealness, detachment, denial, delusions, paranoid feelings, paralysis of defensive action and denial of normal sensory impressions and more. The person will likely feel trapped.

B) The second phase is characterized by a phenomenon called Frozen fright or pseudo calm. This is where the victim (the falsely accused) believes that the social worker(s), police, courts, etc. will see they made a mistake and fix it. This may be the stage where psychiatric experts believe the person/victim is doing just great and experts may make comments about how they can, See how the person is not depressed, upset, stressed out, suicidal, etc., in the person’s eyes/behaviors/etc. This is a stage where the damages although present are masked. Locking the victim up longer is NOT the answer or the cure for the damages and the PTSD caused by the false allegations and the lock-up of the victim.

At this stage the victim frequently also expects an apology from the perpetrators of the abuse. These expectations and perceptions are unrealistic due to the reality of who and what social workers, police and others in related positions are and do (they are no better in most cases than the very worst of criminals/sociopaths in society). Symptoms of PTSD and/or trauma begin to manifest if the situation continues after 48 hours or more. If the falsely accused person is confined or interrogated the symptoms of trauma begin to manifest after the 48 hour mark. The PTSD may not clearly present itself while the person/victim is still locked-up as the Frozen fright or pseudo calm. Is likely to remain in effect as a survival mechanism for the victim. The victim has the PTSD but the PTSD and ALL real emotional reactions and expressions may be bottled up, for lack of a better way to state it.

* To make matters worse, victims oftentimes feel guilt for having attempted to work with, submit to, cooperate with the people or agency that ends up betraying the victim by locking the victim up, filing charges for what the victim did not do in reality, refusing to hear or see the truth and remedying the situation (in time) rather than continuing on the path that is abuse towards the victim (until it is too late or more often times permanently). This leads to self-hatred or similar negative additional emotions for the victim that can be life-long issues.

C) The third stage is characterized by emotional exhaustion. The victim’s ability to think, reason and act in self-defense is modified under stress (McCain, Sakheim, & Abrahamson, 1988). A significant number of victims will develop substance abuse habits, eating disorders, self-mutilation, other self-destructive patterns, suicide and other similarly damaging options/behaviors to aid them in coping with the PTSD. Behaviors that do not assist with or mask some of the PTSD, purely destructive behaviors, are a consequence of the PTSD. Some of these behaviors appear or may be the only thing(s) the victim actually can control in his/her life where he/she has learned that his/her freedom