A Mother's Memory: Joy Comes in the Morning

By Jean Meikle

My choice to keep my son at home, during his illness, seemed like the only option due to my sons aversion to staying in a hospital. It was a hard decision with lasting consequences. The choices were either hospital or home as hospices were not offered as an option at that time. This is his story - my memories.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Feb 24, 2016
• ISBN: 9781491786567

Jean Meikle

Jean Meikle, is living quietly with her husband, Charlie, with the feeling of accomplishment that this book is finally in print. Her surviving children, Mary and Cam have helped in the process of making this a reality. There is a cathartic property of putting pen to paper and telling about a very traumatic and sad time in your life. The hope is that this story will encourage someone else who is dealing with or has dealt with losing a child. It is the story of a brave young man and a very strong, loving Mom. Well done Mom! Something else to cross off your bucket list!

Book preview

A Mother’s

Memory

JOY COMES IN THE MORNING

Jean Meikle

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A MOTHER’S

JOY COMES IN THE MORNING

Copyright © 2016 Jean Meikle.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-8657-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-8656-7 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 02/24/2016

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Neil Means Champion

Chapter 2 Master of Bravado

Chapter 3 Facing the Reality

Chapter 4 Joy Comes in the Morning

Epilogue

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I want to extend a warm acknowledgement to my dear granddaughter Evie Charles for spending many hours typing up the manuscript from my handwritten journal.

I would also like to thank my daughter Mary Charles and son Cam for editing and preparing all the photographs that have been added to the book.

To my beloved Husband I extend thanks for his unending patience.

INTRODUCTION

A mother has memories, lots of them; from the graphic details of the labour and delivery to all the firsts that the child experiences. She also remembers precious moments and quirks that make a child totally unique in the family.

Some moms like mine, have other memories that are just as vivid but very painful. The devastation of losing a child, whether through trauma or critical illness, like in this case, can cause devastation in a woman’s life. This is especially true in the year 1982, when help was not at first offered or understood to be available.

My Mother did not get the help to process her grief back when she lost her son Neil and this book is those painful memories, even if mixed with the funny moments touched by my brother’s sense of humour. Prolonged grief has caused lasting medical, emotional and mental ill health in my Mother.

Our desire is that every mother that faces these same sad memories get the help that they need to process their grief and that they be given the comfort to move on in their lives so that they can heal and experience the ‘Joy that comes in the morning’.

CHAPTER 1

Neil Means Champion

June 26th 1984

I remember the day so well! Twenty-one years ago, a little after 6pm, when the doctor brought you into the world, a month premature, but seemingly healthy with a lusty cry, 6lbs 15oz. You would have been a big one if we had waited another month, but for your health they took you early. The Pediatrician first thought that you would need a complete change of blood, through transfusion, but no, the problem righted itself. Your jaundiced appearance improved and I got you home in five days well and kicking. The doctor said if he had waited two more days you would have been born dead. Stillborn?

You seemed very small to me after Cameron who was almost 9 lbs. You were a cuddly baby and I enjoyed that. Mary and Cam were a little stand offish, Mary especially would push away from my shoulder and sit totally upright, very independent. You would probably be my last so I was all too glad for the cuddles. You grew quickly with minimum troubles. A happy contented baby with golden curls and easy to love. When you were small, Cam and you got along really well with no fighting. You were content together in the sand box. You usually found the puddles and would end up muddy and happy. You showed a great love for animals early on, but we weren’t to have any till you were older.

When you were six we found you were required to have surgery for a hernia. When Grandma Meikle and Grandma Beck were visiting on Sunday (how well I remember) you were sitting on the floor surrounded by your beloved Lego blocks. You asked casually,

Mummy how will the doctor fix my insides? Will he have to cut? I answered Yes. Will it hurt? was the next question No, was the answer. He will put you to sleep with a needle I said. What about after? It was explained to you and I told you about the wound healing quickly in little boys especially. You were satisfied and trotted off upstairs with your toys. It wasn’t till you had gone I was aware of two sets of angry eyes fixed on me (now what had I done). Grandma Beck first! "How