THE ADVENTURES OF PIGGY: The Handbag Hooligan

By Devitt J Elverson and Carey Hert

This is a childrens book for adults. It contains some of the stories of the misadventures of a very brash and outrageous doll that lived in my aunts handbag who would come out and whisper things to her which she would repeat. Some of these stories are based on real events that happened to Piggy and my aunt, Daphne. A painting was made of him by a well-known artist, he was thrown out of a train window and he did kick sugar off of tables and jump into peoples tea cups. Several poems were written about Piggy which I did not include in this book because I do not have permission from their authors, but a letter written by my great aunt, Buddie to Piggy is incorporated into one of the stories. . As children, Daphnes nieces and nephews as well as her friends were often entertained by Piggy. Those of the family who have read these stories have told me that they are an accurate portrayal of Piggy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 27, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524569020

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by DEVITT J ELVERSON. 542283

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016920659

ISBN:   Softcover           978-1-5245-6903-7

              Hardcover         978-1-5245-6904-4

              EBook               978-1-5245-6902-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 12/21/2016

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Contents

The Beginning

The Cookie Jar Incident

The Train Incident

Piggy and the Malted Milk Balls

The Tearoom Fiasco

The Portrait Fiasco

The Beginning

Piggy came into Daphne’s life on her 25th birthday. She had come to Marlborough to visit her parents for the weekend. That weekend, a church bazaar was taking place on the green. Daphne and her mother decided to take a walk through the church bazaar and see what was being offered for sale. It was the usual fare: quilts, decorative pillows and various homemade cakes and jams. The day was delicious, warm, and springy, bright sun was reflected on fresh new foliage. Tulips spread their petals and a light breeze played through the air.

As they were leaving the bazaar to return home for tea, Daphne spotted him. He was standing on a table leaning against a dark blue cookie jar. At his full height, Piggy measured just over six inches. His skin was made of soft pink velvet and he had shiny blue eyes. He beckoned to Daphne. She walked over to have a closer look.

meetpiggy.tif

Daphne worked for the motor trade delivering expensive new cars all over England. The days could be long and lonely, and Daphne welcomed the idea of having a companion to keep her company on her journeys.

Her mother noticed her interest in this handsome little pig and asked Daphne if she would like him as a birthday gift. Daphne was thrilled and replied that she would indeed. Thus began what would prove to be a long and close friendship.

Together, the three of them returned to their house, 10 The Green, for tea. Daphne proudly introduced Piggy to her father. After tea; she placed him on a table at the foot of the stairs as she ascended to prepare for dinner.

In celebration of Daphne’s birthday, her parents had invited guests for a sumptuous dinner of roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes and fresh green peas. The dinner stretched on until late in the evening. After cake and coffee, the guests went home. Daphne bid her parents good night and started upstairs to bed. In the excitement of the evening, she had forgotten all about Piggy. As she began to climb the stairs she heard a voice cry out.

Hey there! yelled Piggy. Where do you think you’re going? Are you planning to leave me here on this table all night to freeze to death?

My goodness, you can talk stammered Daphne.

Well of course he retorted. What do you think I am? A slab of bacon? Most people don’t know that pigs are at least as clever as humans. As for me, I am one of the brightest pigs you will ever meet.

I had no idea. I thought you were just a doll.

Well you thought wrong! Piggy replied. Not only am I no barnyard pig, I am a pig of the world! He cocked his head to the right and put his hands on his hips. I am accustomed to high standards and have no intention of abandoning them now. He continued, "I have never lived in a pigsty and am accustomed to sleeping in a bed. You do intend to prepare a proper bed for me don’t you? And what’s more, I’m in the habit