Dying to Be Reborn: Similarities and Parallels Between the Birth and Death Process

By Robert Colacurcio

This book explores some of the many similarities and parallels between the birth and death process. It does not rely on the testimony of people who have had near death experiences. Neither does it base its argument on the kind of mystical experience that is not available to most people. The exploration of this material requires only the active critical participation of the reader. Therefore, neither faith nor the testimony of some authority is necessary; only the willingness to suspend judgment until the deeper resources of ones own experience can be critically examined. My view is that in many ways culture in the West has it upside down and backwards. In my own small way, I am trying to counteract a cultural bias, that in its narrow definition of wisdom, has virtually nothing to say about soul cultivation and the process of dying to be reborn.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493119110

Robert Colacurcio

Robert Colacurcio has been practicing the methodology of the Buddha’s spiritual technology for over thirty five years under the guidance of some of the most accomplished meditation masters in the Vajrayana lineage of Buddhism. Earlier in his life he studied to become a Jesuit priest, and earned his PhD from Fordham University in philosophy. His spiritual background includes two years at the New York Zendo, extensive study in the Human Potential Movement under the direction of Claudio Naranjo and Oscar Ichazo. His journey then took him to a Sufi commune learning the disciplines of the Russian savant, G.I. Gurdjieff. He is also deeply indebted to the works of Carlos Castaneda, Robert Pirsig and Jane Roberts. He currently lives with his wife, Carol, in a suburb of Richmond, Virginia, and delights with pride in the growth and constant source of revelation that are his children and grandchildren

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Copyright © 2013 by Robert Colacurcio, PhD.

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Rev. date: 11/06/2013

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Contents

Preface

Introduction

Chapter One   Infancy Adjustments Here and Hereafter

Chapter Two   Divestiture

Chapter Three   Some Misconceptions About the Afterlife

Chapter Four   The Learning Curve of Adjustments in the Afterlife

Chapter Five   The Downside of the Learning Curve

Chapter Six   Soul Food

Chapter Seven   The Wisdom of Emptiness

Chapter Eight   The Emptiness of Wisdom

Chapter Nine   The Wisdom of Emptiness Revisited

Chapter Ten   The Game of Life

Chapter Eleven   The Laughter of Children and the Wisdom of Emptiness

Afterword   Is the Unexamined Life Really Not Worth Living?

Epilogue A   Daddy, Why Are We Here?

Epilogue B   What Comes Next

Dedication

To Arnie and Jack, without whose guidance and inspiration neither this book nor any of my others would have been written.

Preface

This book explores many of the similarities and parallels between the birth and death process from what can be known from close observation and careful reflection. This kind of investigation is open to anyone willing to invest the time and some mental energy. In this sense, the sources which I draw upon to write this book are not esoteric but open and available to all.

Here are some sources that I am not directly drawing upon: 1) near death experiences (NDE). These are not my direct experience because I haven’t had one. 2) mystical experiences from persons regarded as Mystics with a capital M. Again, I don’t claim to have had this kind of experience. 3) testimony from Tibetan tulkus or reincarnate lamas. Their teachings on the bardo, the intermediate state between birth and death, are profound and far reaching. Again these experiences are not immediately available to direct investigation by the ordinary intelligent inquirer.

Another feature of this book is that it has no footnotes. This is evidence that my source material comes from deep reflection on my own experience, such as it is; my effort is then to draw out from it some universally applicable ideas for the readers’ consideration. So what is that experience? I was a hospice caretaker for ten years, and have sat at the bedside of many dying people. I have witnessed up close the birth of my own children and grandchildren. For eleven years I studied as a Jesuit in training for the priesthood, and had the luxury of monastic solitude to think deeply about these topics. In fact, it was in large part in order to answer questions related to birth and death that I earned a doctorate in philosophy. However, I left the Jesuits, in large part, because I could not get satisfying answers to these questions. Moreover, most of the questions I thought were of vital importance were not even being asked. And most significantly, for the past thirty years, I have studied and practiced within the wisdom tradition of Vajrayana Buddhism, the vehicle that comes directly from Tibet.

Since there are no footnotes, I want now to reference some other material I have written which expands on one topic mentioned in this text but not developed at length. This topic is the idea of sacred space. If the reader would like to pursue this topic more deeply, please see my book, The Virtual Self: Beyond the Gap in Buddhist Philosophy (Xlibris Publishing, 2012), Part III, chapters 14-20. Also, Demystifying Mysticism: Gratitude as Gift (Xlibris Publishing, 2013), chapters 13-18. I have also included at the end of this book the Afterword from Demystifying Mysticism and the two Epilogues from The Virtual Self."

The final mention of this Preface is to acknowledge and thank my wife, Carol Jo, who is so much more than a careful editor of my work. Her comments from a careful listening to everything I write and read out loud to her are often the clue and inspiration for how to proceed. We share an amazing journey which is grounded in a profound collaboration on all levels. I also wish to thank my son, Michael, for taking the photo of his family (Erin, his daughter Lilah and newborn son Wesley) that appears on the cover.

Introduction

Having a baby is a momentous event. Most expectant mothers try to prepare themselves by learning what to expect. Even if a woman isn’t inclined to read much or have the time, if she is eager and anxious especially about the birth of her firstborn, she will ask questions and listen to other women who have personal experiences to share. This inquiry seems so normal and natural that not being inquisitive seems odd and unnatural. In fact, if an expectant mother did nothing in preparation for her new baby, most people would probably consider her not only unwise but unfit.

Dying to be reborn is an event equally as momentous, yet as a culture we are curiously odd for not being very inquisitive about it. I know there is a phenomenon called death cafes that has sprung up. People gather and clotch about death and dying, often also unburdening themselves by sharing some of the grief they still feel about a loved one’s passing. This is a valuable opportunity, but it does not change the indictment I charge contemporary Western culture with.

Culture in the West has it upside down and backwards. The attention paid to the body which will die and disappear is almost exclusive. The soul (the mind or spirit, if you prefer) that lives on is virtually ignored. Everyone, since before man could walk upright, knows that they will die. In our contemporary culture, however, we are like the unwise expectant mother who does nothing in preparation for an inevitable and momentous event.

In an effort to reawaken a wisdom that is provident and has its priorities right side up at least, this book raises some thought provoking questions. It aims to explore what we can clearly know about the birth-death process once some of the really gross misconceptions have been cleared away. It does not rely, therefore, on the testimony of people who have had near death experiences. For example, Dr. Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon from Harvard medical school, has recently written a book, Proof of Heaven. It tells about a seven day journey he had into the afterlife. Because he was in a complete coma, without any detectable brain activity whatsoever, he should not have had any conscious experiences, but he did. His narrative is remarkable, and I write a little about it in chapter 11 of my book, The Translucent Imagination: Seeing Through the Illusion of our Separateness. But I have not had an NDE; it is not a direct personal source that I can draw upon now.

The great mystics of the past—and there have been only an average of two per century since the birth of Christ—often report extraordinary experiences into heavenly realms. Again, this is not my experience; such Mystics with a capital M are precious few and in a totally different league.

Finally, there is a profound source of insight that comes from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition that I practice. In this tradition, a tulku is a recognized rebirth of someone from a past time. There is a rigorous verification procedure to establish the truth of this. Granting the authenticity of such a rebirth, such a being would be an unusual source of evidence for the details of the birth-death process and what happens in between. This is so, even if you believe in reincarnation generally, because a tulku takes rebirth out of a consummate act of compassionate consciousness. But again, I pass over this source. I am not a tulku, and for now I merely direct the reader to this remarkable treasure trove of related information.

The exploration I am about to take my readers on requires only their active critical participation. It does not require faith; it is not based on the testimony of some authority, no matter how revered and trustworthy.

The sources that I do draw upon for the inquiry into the similarities and parallels of the birth-death process are available to anyone who is willing to suspend judgment, for the moment, based on conventional wisdom. In its place, I ask my readers to exercise their own critical intelligence. Doing this, you may not agree at all with my conclusions. Nevertheless, the fact that the topic has been made the subject of serious consideration is a significant step forward. What I am trying to counteract, in my own small way, is the cultural bias, that in its narrow definition of wisdom, has virtually nothing to say about soul cultivation and the process of dying to be reborn.

The momentous event of birth is something we all celebrate. Though our Western religious tradition honors death as a life transition, not a life deprivation, we really haven’t learned how to celebrate it. A careful examination of what we can know will hopefully lead us to a wiser understanding of both, and therefore, to a more balanced celebration of each.

Chapter One

Infancy Adjustments Here and Hereafter

My dear mother-in-law, of whom I was very fond, died in a hospice facility recently. She was attended for the last eight days of her life almost 24/7 by her eldest daughter, my wife Carol Jo. Her three other siblings and I spent the better part of each day in the room with her. I say better part of each day advisedly because it is an honor and a privilege to be with someone who is dying to be reborn. Gloria Nutini gave us all an object lesson in how it can be done. She was lucid to the end, even making decisions about her care and the minimum level of her pain medication. More remarkable than that, however, was the frequent reportage she would give us about assistance she was receiving from the other side.

I had the good fortune to have been a hospice caretaker for ten years at one period of my life. I have been at the bedside of many dying people. It is not that unusual to hear them speaking to beings I cannot see as they begin the transition through the portal of death. They report beings both recognized and unrecognized. From the teachings of the Buddha, upon which I draw heavily in this book, the self and the persona it supports has only a temporary validity. This self image is illusory when mistaken to be a substantial entity. Nevertheless, these encounters continue. What creates them is the question? The suggestion I make now for the readers’ consideration is this: the ultimate and compassionate nature that resides at the center of all things assists in the co-creation of these encounters. This compassionate nature, which pervades the universe, conspires with the one about to pass through the portal of death. This compassionate conspiracy also takes place on the other side as well. It allows