Two, Please!: How to Disciple Another to Maturity in Christ

By Beverly Plimpton and Kyle Roberts

The purpose of this book is to be a practical and biblical guide to help women learn the following:

The goal of discipleship

Biblical examples of discipleship

Biblical traits of a discipler

Requirements of the discipler and the disciple

How to get to know the disciple

How to set expectations and limits for healthy relationships

How to encourage and pray for the disciple

How to listen prayerfully

How to be a good steward of your time, health, and resources

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 31, 2008
• ISBN: 9781467052504

Beverly Plimpton

Kyle Roberts, a native of Florida, came to know Christ in her early 30's and has been growing in her relationshipwith Him ever since.Like many women of her era, prior to coming to Christ shedevoted her time to her education and career.Her degrees are in engineering and business. She has been married for 23 years, including a five-year separation and divorce from her husband. Through Gods miraculous intervention, Kyle surrendered her life to Jesus Christ as her Redeemer a year after her divorce. He then lead her on a four-year journey of transforming growth in Christ back to her husband. Over the past decade, Kyle has discipled and mentored women on an individual basis and worked in many church-based ladies ministries. Her passion is to help women continually grow intheir intimacy with their Savior resulting in joy-filled, redemptive living. Bev Plimpton, a native of New Hampshire, came to know Christ in her teens and was calledto full-time ministry work immediately after graduating from nursing school. She spent the first20 years incampus ministries and the past 12 years in individual and church-basedladies ministries. Bevhas played a vital rolein biblical counseling, mentoring, and discipling, impacting countless lives in her service to God. Her passion istowatch women grow in their walk with Christ and to invite all women to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Kyle Roberts and Beverly Plimpton are the co-authors of the book, Gods Invitation to More A Divine Invitation to Depth, Dignity, and Delight in Christ.

Book preview

© 2008 Kyle Roberts & Beverly Plimpton

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 12/24/08

ISBN: 978-1-4389-3952-0 (sc)

ISBN: 9781467052504 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Cover design: By artist Sue Gouse, oil painting entitled, Red Chairs

www.suegouseinspirations.com

Editors: Cheryl Dunlop and Fern Kruse

The poem, Please Hear What I’m Not Saying is from Charles Finn’s website,

www.poetrybycharlescfinn.com and is used by permission from Charles C. Finn.

Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.

And this is eternal life, that they may know You,

the only true God, and Jesus Christ

whom You have sent.

- Jesus Christ (John 17:3)

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

PART ONE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

PART TWO

Tool 1

Tool 2

Tool 3

Tool 4

Tool 4a

Tool 5

Tool 6

Tool 7

Tool 8

Tool 9

Tool 10

Notes

About the Authors

About the Cover Artist

Acknowledgments

This book has been growing for many years in Bev’s and my heart. Two, Please! was fueled by an odd combination of our hope and discouragement. Our discouragement of what hasn’t been and isn’t happening practically in discipleship and the delight of what God calls each of us to do. We have been astonished at how God has worked and amazed at who He has used to influence, encourage, and assist us in the process of writing it. Countless friends have faithfully prayed us through the journey. Our very special friend, Fern Kruse read and critiqued the manuscript several times. She encouraged us every step of the way. Fern worked for many years with Bev in the campus ministry then went on to be a missionary in Scotland. Currently she is a Bible teacher to women and a full-time encourager to missionaries. Fern is convinced that this book is long overdue and will be a vital and necessary resource to equip many others to disciple biblically.

Cheryl Dunlop, a professional editor formerly with Moody Publishing and now a freelance editor, was our editor throughout the process. She has a special heart for women ministries and believes discipleship books are greatly needed to help women grow in Christ.

We are thrilled to have our cover artist, Sue Gouse, be a contributor to the book. She said, It is my distinct pleasure and privilege to have my Red Chairs" oil painting image on the cover of this book, Two, Please!. God, through His divine providence has orchestrated this affiliation. Kyle bought a package of Sue’s note cards in Highlands, North Carolina, and gave them to Beverly as a gift. Beverly wrote a thank-you note to Kyle on the Red Chairs note card. Kyle loved the card and suggested to Beverly that it be used for this book cover. When Kyle called and asked me if I would allow the painting image for the cover of their soon to be published book, she told me that the book is a guide on how to disciple women to maturity in Christ. I enthusiastically responded, I’m a Christian too! We both were overjoyed; knowing that we were sisters in Christ and God brought us together for His purpose. Nothing is by chance in this world…God is sovereign over all. This is but one very small example of His goodness and care for His own. God knows all three of our hearts and brought us together for His purposes. We all pray this book will be a lifelong blessing to all who read it." For more information on Sue Gouse, see her biography in the back of this book.

My husband, Bill Roberts, has been incredibly supportive throughout the long and often difficult process of writing. He has been a loving encourager and did an excellent job formatting the manuscript to the publisher’s requirements. I thank God for him.

Introduction

In the New Testament the apostle Paul came alongside new and younger believers until Christ was fully formed in them (Gal. 4:19). We believe this God-mandated one-on-one discipling has been virtually lost in our very busy twenty-first-century Christian lives. Without it, the entire church suffers, Christ is not glorified, and we are plagued with a severely weakened Church full of baby believers who are not able to fulfill God’s calling on their lives.

Beverly Plimpton and I were led to write this book using our forty-five years of combined Christian experience and ministry. We both have a strong burden for what isn’t happening in our churches: women coming alongside others to biblically disciple the younger in the faith. Many women have come to us individually over the years seeking someone who would help them with their spiritual and practical needs. We have asked numerous Christian women who routinely responded No one, to our question, Who were/are the people who have come alongside to disciple you or have had a great impact on your spiritual growth?

Bev has spent the past thirty years in full-time ministry to college students and to women. She had a wonderful experience with a discipler in her teenage years. Conversely, I have spent my Christian life growing in Christ through Bible reading and with the help of countless books, which became my surrogate disciplers. I often longed for a trustworthy, godly Christian woman to come alongside and help me with my questions and everyday struggles to live the Christian life. Unfortunately, most of the women I knew were too busy or seemed unapproachable.

Many Christian women have told us that they would like to learn how to disciple another, but they don’t know how. Women feel uncomfortable discipling others for a host of reasons that include inadequacy (they aren’t mature enough or know enough to disciple), lack of commitment from the disciple, and lack of time. God has orchestrated our interactions with many women over the years. He has given us an intense desire to teach women how to come alongside one another in a discipleship role. The purpose of this book is to be a practical and biblical guide to help women learn the following:

♦ The goal of discipleship

♦ Biblical examples of discipleship

♦ Biblical traits of a discipler

♦ Requirements of the discipler and the disciple

♦ How to get to know the disciple

♦ How to set expectations and limits for healthy relationships

♦ How to encourage and pray for the disciple

♦ How to listen prayerfully

♦ How to be a good steward of your time, health, and resources

♦ How to know when you are finished

♦ Provide practical tools to disciple another

Our prayer is that individuals invest in discipling a younger believer in the faith in one-on-one relationships. The Bible has called us to come alongside others and help them grow in the faith and in their personal walk and intimacy with the Lord Jesus Christ.

We have written Two, Please! to help women learn how to disciple young believers to maturity in the faith and help disciples receive Christ’s invitation to the truly joy-filled, abundant life. Sadly, joy and the abundant life are all too often missing in the busy 21st-century Christian. The biblical command to make disciples is waning in our individual lives. What is at stake if we do nothing differently? Frankly, everything that matters to Christ both today and for eternity: The health of the family and the local church, the power of His Church in and on the world, and, most important, His glory.

As you are equipped through this book to disciple others, we encourage you to use our companion book, God’s Invitation to More: A Divine Invitation to Depth, Dignity, & Delight in Christ as a resource and guide to come alongside another and disciple her on to maturity in Christ.

PART ONE

Chapter 1

What Do Elephants Know That We Don’t?

The Goal of Discipleship

I (Kyle) was brought up in a single-parent home. My father passed away suddenly when I was five years old. My thirty-year-old widowed mother promptly went to work to support her five children. As a result, I never learned the skills that girls typically learn from their mothers. I was thrust into adulthood not knowing how to cook, sew, write a thank-you note, be a good wife, or generally run a home. The biggest lesson I learned was that if I didn’t want to be destitute, I needed to get an education and a career so I could support myself and not depend on a husband for my livelihood. I learned that life was uncertain and if I was going to make it, I needed to make it on my own. My perspective was further fueled by the women’s liberation movement in the 1970s.

I had some wonderful mentors in business. Mentors who helped me avoid the corporate minefields and, through their investment in me, enabled me to get on the fast track, learn the ropes in less time, and be of much more value to the organization than I would have been without their help. I was an avid learner. What I didn’t learn directly from people, I learned from books.

I accomplished everything and more that I set out to do. I had a great career. I worked my way through school and earned a Bachelors in Engineering and a Masters in Business Administration. I was respected by others. I had good friends. My life was more than I ever thought it could be. Yet an unrelenting emptiness plagued me. This emptiness, along with some significant trials, drew me to something more. Something I could not achieve on my own. Through this breaking process I came to know that my only hope was Jesus Christ. I surrendered my life to Christ to be my Lord and Savior when I was thirty-three years old.

After I surrendered my life to Christ I craved the Word of God. I read it morning and night. It was my lifeline to God. Like most new believers, I was very joyous.

Conviction of sin brought many changes in my life. There were friends and acquaintances that I had to sever, lifestyle changes took place, and my life priorities changed significantly. In addition to reading the Bible I listened to a well-respected Bible expositor on audio tapes. He taught me each book of the Bible, line by line. I loved learning about my Savior and His Word.

I joined a Bible study at my church with a group of twelve women and enjoyed learning in a group atmosphere. Through the sharing of our personal experiences we got to know each other. I learned by listening and watching these women. For most of them it seemed it was all they could do to make it to the Bible study. Their lives were beyond hectic; they could hardly keep their heads above water. I was puzzled, because when I looked at the New Testament examples, Christians invested in the lives of other believers to help them understand the Word accurately and to grow them, with the Holy Spirit’s divine help, to maturity in Christ. Yet that didn’t seem to be happening here. In all fairness, these women were no different than hundreds of Christian women I have met since that time. They have genuine hearts to know God and His Word, but their time is rapidly consumed in non-stop activity and demanding commitments resulting in little time for intimacy with God, time for themselves, and certainly much less time to come along and disciple another to maturity in Christ.

I recently watched a television program on the nature of female elephants. Elephants are one of God’s smartest creatures. In contrast to us, elephants are extremely attentive to their young. In addition to the mother, all the females from young to old look after the elephant babies to make sure they stay out of harm’s way and to teach them vital survival skills to help them make it in a harsh world. The older elephants do everything in their power to protect and teach the younger elephants. When troubles arise the herd looks to the matriarch elephant. Because of her incredible memory, the matriarch knows where to find water in a severe drought, how to fight off predators, and how to fix problems the younger elephants have never experienced. She models for the younger elephants. Frankly, their very survival depends on their sticking together and caring for younger elephants’ development into healthy adults who will teach and lead others in the future.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were more like elephants?

Similar to elephants, successful businesses have developed a wonderful process to train and grow their employees to make their company stronger. The large company I worked for had a mentoring program, a formal plan for tenured managers to educate the newer managers in the way the business culture operated as well as to work on the areas identified for development in the younger managers. This program was designed to build knowledge and depth to the management team so the whole organization would benefit. I learned a lot in a short time with the mentors I had throughout my career. I could walk into a situation and identify the minefields and avoid them. I even learned how and when to write a thank-you note. I have much gratitude to the people who came alongside me to teach me the practical and human side of business.

Within a year of my salvation, the unexpected happened. I had a major trial that overwhelmed me. I remember thinking that God didn’t love me anymore. He could not be relied upon either. I asked myself what I did wrong. I asked God what I did wrong. He gave no answer.