The Long Walk Back: There Is Always a Path to Recover from Failure

By Stephen Mizell

Failure is something we have all experienced. We have also watched the public failures of people that resulted in many lives being affected. It is painful to watch someones life as their career, family, and finances go to shambles because of their poor choices. It is even more painful to experience all that personally.

There are consequences to every choice we make. Failure can be devastating. The losses seem almost impossible to overcome. But nothing could be further from the truth. There is a path back to success and fulfillment. The question is, will we take it?

This book will carry you on one mans journey to the depths of failure and back to healing and fulfillment. It was a long walk back, but it was worth every step.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 28, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512787399

Stephen Mizell

Stephen Mizell is the Lead Pastor at Open Door Church. Stephen believes he has been specifically called to impact northeastern North Carolina with life-giving congregations in rural communities. Stephen is a gifted communicator who is committed to sharing practical truths from God’s Word. He is committed to raising up leaders both locally and around the world. As a part of John Maxwell’s organizations EQUIP and the John Maxwell Team, Stephen has been able to teach leadership principles in many countries around the world. He is also an entrepreneur and has owned several businesses over the last 20 years. Stephen and his wife Barbara have four children and three grandchildren. They enjoy traveling the world and ministering to people wherever they go. You can follow Stephen’s thoughts on ministry, life and leadership at www.StephenMizell.com and resources for your family at www.MarriageMoneyandMakingBabies.com.

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Copyright © 2017 Stephen Mizell.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are fromthe ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-8740-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8741-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8739-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017907875

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/27/2017

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1:    The Resignation

Chapter 2:    Innocence

Chapter 3:    The Danger of Success

Chapter 4:    Poor Decisions

Chapter 5:    Why People Walk Away

Chapter 6:    Why We Settle In The Wrong Place

Chapter 7:    Things You Lose While Gone

Chapter 8:    Excuses for Not Coming Back

Chapter 9:    Starting Over

Chapter 10:  People You Need to Come Back

Chapter 11:  Steps to Coming Back

Chapter 12:  Things I Still Deal With

Chapter 13:  Blessed Beyond Measure

INTRODUCTION

I t was early June, 2001, after midnight and I sat in the Waffle House in Greenville, North Carolina, with my closest friend Tim Lanier. He was a pastor in Kinston, but tonight we had to discuss business. He was aware of my situation so there was not any real news to share. The purpose of this meeting was to make some arrangements for a statewide church convention where I was to oversee the music. I could no longer participate because of my current situation and he was the most experienced person to do the job. He was not overly thrilled to take over, but I was his friend and he was willing to do whatever he could to help me walk through this and deal with my issues.

Missing the convention was a disappointment in many ways. My leadership on a state board and at my pastorate had gained the attention of many people. For the first time I was chairing the music committee for my denomination. The committee would oversee all of the music for our annual state camp meeting. I was scheduled to preach in one of the services, which was quite an honor for me. However, my failure would shadow all of that. I was now the outcast. The leper. I had been assigned my scarlet letter.

As I sat in that booth at Waffle House that night, I would hear one of the most profound statements of my entire life. Little did I know the impact of what he would say to me or how difficult it would be to live it out. I have repeated it to many people since, and it will be repeated here several times. In conversation, Tim asked me what my plans were. I shared with him that I wanted to divorce my wife and marry someone else and what I wanted my future to look like. My only question to him was, Can I do this and ever be right with God? His response was this: You can. But you will have to walk so far away from God to do it that the walk back will be difficult. I am not sure that even he understood the fullness of what he was saying. I am not sure he realized he was saying something to me that would impact my life forever. Neither he nor I had any idea how many people that one statement would impact as I shared my story of that walk back. What follows are the details, the struggles, the grace, and the redemption of that long walk back.

The reason I had to make that walk was ugly and messy and full of sin and rebellion. I don’t have to provide all the gory details to help you understand my point, nor do I want to run the risk of removing the focus and intent of the book by doing so. Most of these pages are filled with my journey back and the decisions, the people, and the grace of God that I experienced as I made my journey and how you can journey back to God as well. My goal is to encourage those who need to begin a walk back or are struggling on their journey. Don’t give up. There are people cheering you on and a God who is full of grace and truth. My prayer is that you find the same fulfillment on your return as I have. Let me join you on your long walk back.

CHAPTER 1

THE RESIGNATION

I t was inevitable. This day was coming. There was no way to escape it given the choices I had consistently made. The day had finally arrived when I would have to resign my position as pastor (see letters in appendix A and B). Though this was not the catalyst for many of the other events that would follow, it seemed to be the crest of the hill from which the avalanche started to flow.

It is still so vivid in my mind. I had only told a few people, but word had gotten out and everyone and a few more were in attendance that day. My first Sunday at Cherry Church of God, we had seventeen people. By the time I resigned, we were averaging around seventy-five on a normal Sunday. On special days like Easter or Christmas, we would be over a hundred—and we had even broken the church attendance record. This particular day was in early June when you expect attendance to begin to fade for the summer. However, on this day about 120 people showed up to see what was going to happen. The good news is that in a small community, everyone knows everyone and everything—which ironically is also the bad news. The community of Cherry was about three miles outside of the town of Creswell. The town only had a population of four hundred, and the community of Cherry was much smaller.

My brother Ramon pastored Forest Park Church in Elizabeth City about thirty minutes from where I pastored. He left his own church services that morning to come support me. My administrative bishop for the Church of God in Eastern North Carolina, Paul Clawson, was present to officiate the service. He had several jobs that day. He had to comfort and guide a broken congregation, and he hoped to be able to guide me through a restoration process. He wanted to make a very bad situation go as smoothly as possible.

One of my dear friends and a founding member of the church, Mitchell Edwards, chose to stand with me that day. He had more to lose than anyone because he was such a pillar of the community. I suppose at eighty-one he decided it did not matter to him as much what people thought. In retrospect, I think he was just showing the love of Christ to a family that was broken. My success at that church—and even today—is owed to him and his wise advice and the love he showed to me. It should not have surprised me how true a friend he is. As I write this, I recently had the privilege to celebrate Mitchell’s ninety-fifth birthday with him. Even today he still encourages me. He has supported me at my lowest places and cheered me at my highest accomplishments. He was the first person to tell me that he believed God had called me to make a difference in northeastern North Carolina.

My family and I did not come in until after the service started. I recall this being our choice because we just did not want to have to answer a lot of questions. Some who knew what was coming and who would be personally hurt by this news were there early and stood in the lobby. That just made it more evident that we should wait in my office. When we did finally come in, all eyes were on us. There is nothing like being on display and feeling like you’re waiting for your own funeral to start. If I had it to do over again, the one thing I would have changed about that day is having my kids present. They saw it all from a front-row seat.

Lauren was twelve and Cameron was eleven. They are only fourteen months apart, and they have been close in relationship, not just in age. I can only imagine how the scene that day played out in their heads. I know they had no idea how the next few months and years would play out for their parents or themselves because I didn’t either. It saddens me today to think of the pain I have caused them—and at no fault of their own. I have no doubt that that day left an impression on their young hearts and minds. They have never shared with me how it felt to watch those things unfold, what it may have done to them, or what they were thinking. At their age, this church and this community were their life. All of their friends were here. Though they have gotten to see much good up close during my own walk back, it is still something I wish I had protected them from.

When it was my turn, I rose and went to the pulpit where I had previously delivered hundreds of sermons. As much as I resisted the call of God to preach, at that point I could not imagine being in a place where I could not preach. I cherished the opportunity to step to the podium and share God’s