Love Online: Single Seniors Searching for . . .

By Tina C. Smith

Love OnLine is a story of six single senior ladies who are looking for Mr. Right and found a popular dating site that would offer them many possibilities for finding 'the one'.

Ashley, Dixie, Tori, Penelope, Peaches, and Tracy are divorced with circumstances that are as different as each lady. Their diverse backgrounds including their personal experiences lead them down paths that make them laugh and cry while at the same time keep them looking for their happy ending.

Love OnLine ultimately confronts the popular question that they all face every day: Is he the one?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524506346

Tina C. Smith

While Tina has published some articles for a trade magazine in the Phoenix area, she has always dreamed of pursuing a writing career. At last, with the release of Love OnLine and having the available time needed to write now that she has retired from her credit analyst position, Tina looks forward to the publication of the upcoming sequel to Love OnLine. Tina enjoys her home in Arizona with her husband, Rick Jellen. At the same time, she travels quite extensively throughout the United States. The summer months are her favorite time to travel and visit their seven grandchildren and to also escape the heat.

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Copyright © 2016 by Tina C. Smith.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 09/19/2016

Xlibris

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Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

This book is

dedicated to

Della Ann McCrea

You are dearly missed.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

T O RICK JELLEN FOR BEING the best husband possible, my everything, and for your foresight to avoid regrets.

To Bob and Winnie Tomkus, for your inspiration and encouragement and always being here for me no matter what the circumstances.

To Joseph Frattari, for your insight, understanding and reinforcement, who has been my mentor and close friend for most of my adult life.

To Chris Orleans, Kris Alberto, Lani Martin and everyone at Xlibris Publishing for doing your job so well.

To Pat Mathisen, Jane Rohs, Donna Schmidt, Gerri Speer and Rod & Diana Rabbers for your friendship and your endearing support.

PROLOGUE

A S SHE SITS AND PATIENTLY waits for the next potential Mr. Right to arrive, she glances around. Why did he pick such a dismal place to meet? Ashley wonders. The bar looks like something out of a 1940s B-rated movie, with the black barstools, black laminate bar top, red carpet, minimal lighting, and an assortment of customers who are surely waiting for the next social security check to arrive. The bartender, with his black shirt and white apron loosely tied around his bulging stomach, looks constantly in the mirror to check that his bald spot is covered with the very long thin strands of gray hair as he dries the last of the glasses he’s just washed.

Hey, how ya doin’? Gregg asks a little too loudly as he approaches Ashley from behind. He recognizes her from the picture she has posted on her web page in the reflection of the mirror behind the bar. Have you been waitin’ very long? ’Cause I just had to make a pit stop and ran into a buddy. So what do you think of the Last Chance Lounge? Pretty cool, huh?

Ashley can hardly believe her ears or her eyes. The picture on his profile online must have been fifteen years old at a minimum because she can’t believe how thin and gray his hair is. His idea of physically fit for the description of his physique in his profile must have been in a previous life, along with that picture. His drooping stomach matches his drooping eyelids, cheeks, and chins (must have at least three chins).

How soon can I make my exit? Ashley wonders.

I’m okay, Gregg, and how are you doing tonight?

He looks like he is progressing on his state of intoxication as his eyes look like two slits and already quite glassy.

I never knew this place existed in Scottsdale, but then I don’t get into old Scottsdale very often since I live north and west of here in Phoenix, Ashley comments.

This place has been here for years. I’ve been comin’ here since I first vacationed out here years ago, and since I retired, I decided to move west. The band doesn’t start until nine o’clock, but they’ll be arrivin’ soon. I wanted to meet you before it got too loud and crowded. Once everyone gets here, this place really jumps.

I wonder how many leave in an ambulance, Ashley wonders to herself, with the average age of what she’s seen so far to be probably close to seventy-two.

Ashley wonders why she ever got talked into the whole online-dating thing. Although she’s over fifty, no one at her job believes that such an attractive, sweet-hearted person is without a boyfriend, and if she didn’t receive this six months’ membership as a gag gift from her friends, she wouldn’t even be here.

Everyone at the insurance company keeps telling her that she needs to find that Mr. Right that has eluded her for so long. They convince her to just sit down at the computer and get started. Fill out that questionnaire, answer all those questions (Was that two hundred or two thousand? It took so long to finish!), scan her best pictures, and just do it!

And so she did. And the questions went on forever! she thinks. Questions about things she’s never even considered but is well-informed they are all very important. All the most personal data that she rarely tells anyone, but answer she does, and four hours later, she has her very first online-dating profile, including a picture that is recent as well as appealing, she hopes.

Maybe she has been alone for a long time. Hard to believe it has been more than eight years since that breakup of a marriage that she was sure would last until her dying day. How could she know that all her fabulous plans could just disappear when her husband (and ex-boss) came home and told her he found someone else who made him feel like a kid again? Sure, he felt like a kid, because he was literally babysitting his third wife now. How could someone like her husband, so intelligent, so educated, and so respected by his friends, colleagues, and family, fall for someone who’d say Awesome every fourth word and had her head wired for sound with little earpieces on a regular basis? Did he believe that he could capture her youth? Did he think youth was contagious and he could turn back the clock? Would his child-bride still want him when his teeth had fallen out and he has lost his hair? Would he want to start another family at this late stage in his life? Would she still love and admire him when he started losing his memory and needed to wear adult diapers? Would she really forsake all younger men and stay with someone old enough to be her father? Or would she grow up one day soon and find out he was old, too old from her youthful perspective?

To this day, Ashley can’t believe it has all happened, and so quickly. Gone is the beautiful house they’ve planned and struggled to build from the ground up with every detail in mind for their retirement. We’ll put the guest rooms upstairs, Bob said, since we won’t want to climb steps when we retire. The master suite and bath were done to perfection on the ground floor with their patio off the sitting area of the master suite through the custom-designed french doors overlooking the mountains and looking west, especially at sunset.

How many nights Ashley thought of their romantic interludes on that patio with her favorite champagne and strawberries? How could he leave me? she cried over and over until she found herself in therapy all those years ago. We were so happy and perfect for each other, she thought, down to the minutest details of our lives. And their physical relationship was all that could be asked for, Bob told her repeatedly. For more than fifteen years, they had what seemed to be the ideal marital relationship. Even the kids from his first marriage were also happy for them, and she felt blessed that his children were pleased with her and their marriage.

Then came the eye-opening details of the property settlement that put her over the edge. Ashley went ballistic when Bob informed her how much they could get for the sale of her dream home. How could the house be sold for so little? she shouted when he told her the final price. Sure, the economy sucked, but every penny of her inheritance from what little her mother left her went into building that retirement dream, and all she got was less than two thousand dollars once the bank and realtor got their due.

And to return to the workforce after being away for so long. Computer systems were from another universe in her mind. The Word Perfect program she learned more than twenty years before when she was an executive secretary was gone. And since she wasn’t up on the latest computer hardware and software, she then found out that she could barely expect to make much more than minimum wage.

She even fell for the infomercial that was going to teach her everything she needed to know to be competent in the new offices of her potentially new employers in just five easy payments of twenty-nine dollars and ninety-five cents. What a shock when she found out that perfect husband Bob (who wanted the divorce to be amicable) closed her credit cards down when she tried to purchase the computer from the company advertising computer competence. We’re no longer married, Ash, and I can’t take responsibility for your charges. I have a new wife now, and Kristine keeps me pretty busy with all her needs and wants, and she has a list that doesn’t seem to quit. Like that was her problem. Why she didn’t have any sympathy for his problems was a mystery to Bob. Why she hadn’t moved on baffled him as well.

Bob, what am I supposed to do without a credit card? Ashley cried in frustration.

Well, why don’t you start by getting a gas credit card? With all I’m giving you in the settlement, you should be okay. Once you get a job, I’m sure you’ll be fine. I just hope you can understand my position now, Bob reasoned.

No, she didn’t understand. How in God’s name was she going to make it? Well, thank God for her friends who didn’t seem surprised. Thankfully, her dearest friend, Mike, was more than happy to help her out. She and Mike had been friends for more than thirty years, and he had seen Mr.-Perfect-husband in a compromising situation in Center City, Philadelphia, with what was then the soon-to-be wife number 3. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Ashley what was up. He figured she would find out soon enough. Or maybe not. If it were just a fling, then why bring on any unnecessary pain? Unfortunately, it wasn’t just a fling, and he didn’t have an ounce of respect for Bob for the way he hurt his dear friend so badly.

Mike was happy to help out and buy a computer for her and have it shipped to her new apartment. It helped her get started with what she was going to need to support herself. Ashley didn’t have much in the way of family, and since her friends loved her so much, Mike and his wife, Donna, were sure she should ultimately be fine once everything settled down and fell into place for her.

And fine she had been, until this online-dating phenomenon transpired, and now Ashley realizes that the only way she will ever be able to meet anyone is on that blasted computer. She isn’t about to find herself in a bar full of kids (well, they all seem like kids, considering she is old enough to be their mother). It seems now that the majority of the population is meeting online with the hope of finding someone with common interests, likes, and possible chemistry.

As she looks at Gregg, however, she realizes he isn’t it. He’s so full of himself and has obviously been doing this for a while. He just seems to talk incessantly and hasn’t even noticed that she’s paying as little attention to him as possible. Me, me, me, blah, blah, blah… At what point is he going to realize that there is someone else who is supposed to be a part of this conversation? But he’s so happy to hear himself talk and is just positive that Ashley is hanging on every word. Should she be taking notes? Pulllease!

You know, Gregg, I would love something to drink, Ashley interrupts.

Oh yeah, sure. Hey, Larry, get her whatever she wants, he says to the bartender, not even realizing that he hasn’t even taken any interest in finding out whether she likes wine or beer or is even drinking alcohol.

So since this is the first time you’re here, then you don’t know about the gold lockets, do ya? he asks.

Yes, I did notice your gold chain and locket. Is there any significance? A lucky charm? How could she not notice Mr. Disco with his shirt half-unbuttoned, showing his gorilla gray chest hairs that have to be a couple of inches long and can definitely use some thinning out? She almost feels a little sadistic thinking of waxing all that chest hair and, in one quick pull, tearing off all that hair. Wow, that would hurt!

Well, look around. Gregg points out other male patrons that do seem to have the same locket. He seems to get a sheepish smile on his face and unlocks the charm, which conceals a rectangular-shaped blue tablet of some kind. Do you know what this is? It’s Viagra! The ladies look for the men with the lockets, and then they know they will have the most enjoyable evening—guaranteed! he declares with the snidest look on his face that Ashley wants to barf.

What am I doing here? she asks herself for the eleventh time.

She does now notice that the place is filling up with ladies with their styled and sprayed hairdos, some women in short skirts that leave little to the imagination. The skirts are so tight and accompanied with spike high-heeled shoes, and some women are in dresses that barely conceal their cleavage. This place seems to be full of familiar friends and acquaintances who make the Lounge their regular stomping ground. Ashley can only imagine what happens once the music starts and what that will stir up.

You know, Gregg, maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. From what I can gather, you seem to have different ideas of what you are looking for in a relationship than what your profile and e-mail seemed to indicate, Ashley starts to say as softly as possible yet still trying to be heard, considering the size of the growing crowd and high noise level.

What do ya mean, blondie? Gregg seems surprised.

Has he forgotten my name already? And does he even remember it to start with? Ashley wonders.

I thought you and me were matched like two peas in a pod, he says as he chuckles disgustingly, and Ashley shivers at the thought of what he may have in mind. The band is gonna start soon, and I’m a terrific dancer, you’ll see. I’ll have you out there, dancin’ and spinnin’ you around, and you’ll be the envy of all the ladies here. Just let me know when you want me to take the Viagra, and we’ll really have some fun later!

He puts his arm around her shoulders and squeezes while he blows in her ear. His breath is so stale, and he seems to spray saliva when he exhales. She thinks she feels her stomach turn upside down, and she looks for an exit.

Well, let me make a quick trip to the ladies room, and I’ll be right back, okay? She hops off the barstool.

Okay, blondie, I’ll be waitin’ for ya. She notices that he’s already slurring his words. She wonders how long and how hard he’s been here drinking.

He doesn’t even notice as Ashley slips out the side door and circles the parking lot to where she’s parked her car. She nervously gets into the car and looks in the rearview mirror, afraid that he may be stalking her and has followed her out of the Last Chance as she escapes from an online-dating nightmare.

*     *     *

Ashley reaches her apartment and breathes such a sigh of relief. She’s amazed how hilarious this can be if it hadn’t happened to her and she wasn’t so freaked out at the moment. So she decides to chalk this one up to crazy, positive that they all can’t be this scary.

Scary is a good word to classify Gregg. What was the point of answering all those questions honestly if it all just comes down to which locket-owner you are going to pick at the end of the night? Do those ladies (and she thinks she used that term loosely) really look for the locket-bearers?

The erection-producing drugs have definitely affected the senior man’s outlook on his prospective partners and on future relationships. Do these men now think with their little heads first? They can’t be all like Gregg, Ashley thinks or, rather, hopes and prays.

I’ll log in tomorrow and try not to think about the locket-bearers, she says to herself as she finishes getting ready for bed and attempts to get some sleep.

CHAPTER

1

I T’S OPEN. COME ON IN, Ashley called. What took you guys so long? I thought you got lost!

The members of the cheese-and-wine club filed in, bearing contributions for the evening’s enjoyment. Penelope carried her wonderful Italian antipasto along with a couple of bottles of her favorite vino. Tori had her specialty, spinach dip, and Dixie brought a large colorful platter of a selection of cheeses displayed creatively as well as her favorite Pinot Noir.

Everyone joined Ashley in her galley kitchen as she took her crab dip out of the oven.

No, no, not in here! I’ve set the table up in the living room, so just put everything out there.

Everyone did a turnabout and found an artistically arranged assortment of veggies and crackers along with Ashley’s famous dill-and-shrimp dip. She had some fresh long-stemmed peach-colored roses and lit candles throughout the tastefully decorated living room (as tastefully decorated as her meager budget afforded) with a tan tweed sofa and love seat that matched her apartment, beige carpet, and glass-and-walnut-like wood tables. The stereo was already on, with some instrumental jazz softly playing.

Tori quietly and quickly ran out of the apartment to her car to fetch a surprise for Ashley. Before Ashley left the kitchen, Tori was back with balloons tied to a brown teddy that was holding a sign: Happy Birthday!

The ladies stood in front of the coffee table, and as Ashley went out of the kitchen, everyone shouted, Happy birthday!

Penelope broke into a rendition of the birthday song, and all joined in, with Ashley looking like she was going to break into tears any second. She was so happy at the surprise and the thoughtfulness of her friends.

Ashley couldn’t believe how blessed she was, that she was fortunate enough to have found such caring and loving friends.

It seemed like only yesterday that she started at the Insurance Company of North America, at an entry-level position, assisting several account managers. After she had lived off what her divorce agreement had agreed to pay her for five years, the gravy train was over, and it was time for her to seriously look for a job after moving to Phoenix, miles away from the nightmare of the breakup of her marriage in the Philadelphia suburb. She needed to find a job with an income that would be enough to live off without dipping below the poverty level.

She was so grateful that after sending out more than one hundred résumés and having had so many frustrating and tiring interviews, the human resources director Carol Nelson, with whom she was fortunate enough to have an interview, actually remembered her from a conference in Philadelphia that she and her ex-husband, Bob Stewart, executive vice president of Bailey, Barton, and Fey, had attended. Since Ashley had experience as administrative assistant with Bailey, Barton, and Fey, an insurance brokerage firm headquartered in New York City, she qualified for her entry-level starting position with the hope of something better in the future as soon as she proved herself worthy.

Ashley believed someone was surely watching over her every move and directed her resume to Ms. Nelson’s attention. It also seemed to help that the associate that was scheduled to interview Ashley was called away on an emergency just minutes before Ashley’s arrival, which was why Ms. Nelson interviewed Ashley. In Ashley’s mind, when she was offered the job a week later, she felt as happy as a lottery winner.

And having met and made friends with these fabulous coworkers was like icing on the cake. It was hard to believe that three years had passed so quickly, yet it felt like they had been friends forever.

With the balloons came small colorful gift bags that each of her friends dangled.

You guys, I can’t believe you did all this! I told you that I’m not celebrating another birthday. I promised myself that I was going to stay fifty-five and not a year older!

Get over it, Dixie said sarcastically. I’m more than ten years older than all of you, and you damn well better remember my birthday! If we can’t be happy that we have our health and still have our looks at our age, then what the hell can we be happy about? It’s not like you have a lot of choices on what to be happy about these days. We’re not exactly rolling in piles of money, and the government is constantly thinking of ways to take what little we do have, so pour the wine and let’s be happy!

Hear, hear! everyone shouted in unison, and Penelope started pouring a Robert Mondavi Cabernet.

I just want to say thank you to each of you for being such a good friend. I know I’ve bent all your ears with all the crap I went through just finding this job as well as all my battle wounds suffered from the divorce and then finding you, so here’s a toast to good friends and good health!

All glasses touched, and the evening began.

Tori started with Open my bag first, and Ashley discovered a framed picture of the four of them taken at the last cheese-and-wine night. They had a couple of guests at that night’s event, so the picture of the four of them was taken at last.

Tori, thank you so much! Why didn’t you tell me you had that picture printed? Oh, I get it, you guys! You planned this for almost a month, and none of you slipped and didn’t tell me? Wow, I’m amazed!

Don’t think I didn’t almost tell you about twelve times, Dixie confessed. It’s a good thing I don’t sit close to you or see you much during the day, and if I hadn’t been busy with my lunch dates, you would have known for sure. But enough about that and open my gift bag.

Ashley unwrapped her gift to find four exquisite wineglass charms of different flower designs in pastel colors, which were placed around the stem of each wineglass so no one picked up the wrong glass.

How clever, Dixie! You always have the most original ideas! Thank you! Ashley said as she leaned over to give Dixie a hug.

Yeah, I can be clever on occasion, but not always. Sometimes my brain doesn’t always kick in when I want to think of something cute or particular, but I’m glad you like them. Purely selfish on my part, actually, so now I don’t have to worry if I picked up someone else’s glass, thinking it may be mine. You know how fussy I can be. I know, I know, that’s an understatement, but you know how I am. So let’s break those babies out and hand one to me now so I can relax a little more, okay, Ash?

And last but not the least, announced Penelope as she handed her bag to Ashley.

Ashley handed the wineglass charms over to Dixie and said, Pick the one you prefer, as she took the bag from Penelope. She noticed it was so lightweight. Inside the wrapping paper was an envelope. As she opened the envelope, she removed what looked like a gift certificate—a six months’ membership to a seniors online-dating site. I don’t get it, P—

"Well, it’s about time you stopped spending so many bloody nights playing solitaire while watching reruns of Law & Order and started looking for your next Mr. Right. You have so much to offer! You’re a beautiful, giving, sweet, smart, and fun person. You’re a great cook and still fit into your size 6 dresses. There’s someone out there who is perfect for you, but he’s not going to beat your door down and break into your life, so you have to take the first step and get out there."

Ashley looked shocked and said, I don’t think I’m really ready, and if it’s computer-oriented, you know I’m not great on that thing. Look how long it took for me to get comfortable enough to put my résumé on there and apply for jobs. I wouldn’t know where to begin with NewSeniorsMeet.com, what to put on it, what to do—

Look, I’ve met so many nice men online, reported Penelope, and you know that’s where I met Tony, and if I didn’t go online to MyNewMate.com, I would never have met him. And you know what a sweetheart Tony is, so I know that you can find your honey. I think you’ll be more comfortable with NewSeniorsMeet.com than MyNewMate.com. The men on that site may be younger and a little more aggressive than NewSeniorsMeet.com, but you can always try MyNewMate.com if you are so inclined.

Yeah, she’s got that right, Dixie agreed. Where do you think I get all my lunch and dinner dates from? I’ve met so many potential Mr. Rights, and lots of them still e-mail me, and I even stayed friends with a few of them. How do you think I met Scott, Bill, Joe, Wayne, and Marty? I’ve been online for years. You know that, Ashley. NewSeniorsMeet.com works, and we’ll all help you. Tori, did you bring your camera? Better break it out and take some pictures of Ashley now before she chickens out, and let’s get started.

Wait, wait, let’s have some wine and eat a little before the crab dip gets ice-cold, so dig in. We can take pictures later, when we are all feeling a little more relaxed, don’t you think? Ashley asked.

Again, all said in unison, Hear, hear!

Plus, I want more info—whom you have met, how it went, what to do, what I need to do, you know, that kind of stuff—before I can decide if I can do this.

Penelope passed out plates and napkins and poured more wine. "Oh, you’re going to do it since I already paid for it, and it’s not that hard. I met Tony online, and I thought I told you how we met. Let me reiterate.

"About three years ago, I was on MyNewMate.com and met several nice men. This was before NewSeniorsMeet.com even started. I had been e-mailing a couple of potential suitors and finally met Robert. We had a couple of dates, and finally, he asked me to come see his house on a Saturday afternoon. He had a beautiful spread in a gated community in Verde Hills, north of Cave Creek. In the meantime, I was also getting e-mails from Tony.

"Tony really intrigued me, so after a couple of e-mails, Tony invited me to a symphony concert in Phoenix. Little did I know that Tony was e-mailing me from his time-share in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. He flew back to Phoenix, and I had to dash home from Robert’s afternoon date, shower, and change for the symphony, and when I pulled up to where we agreed to meet, we could not believe we had the exact same car—same color, same everything! We both cracked up laughing. We had a fantastic time at the symphony, and we started seeing each other on a regular basis. Tony and I would just talk and talk, and we found out we had so much in common. It was only a matter of time that I soon decided to stop e-mailing all my matches and give Tony all my attention.

Tony is terrific. He’s a systems analyst at Avis Corporation and just loves to travel. In fact, he has two time-shares. Tony loves theater, shows, movies, or just talking all hours of the night. He takes such good care of me and is such a helpful friend. He’s always fixing things at my house and doesn’t even wait for me to ask him. I can’t believe how nice it is to have someone so thoughtful. He’ll see things that need fixing, and he just does it. In fact, after I show him pictures in my digital camera, he’ll sit right down at the computer and download them. I don’t even have to ask since he just does it for me.

Wow, that’s something I could use since I am a dinosaur in the computer age, Ashley interrupted. Can I borrow him for that?

I’m sure he would be happy to help you, Ashley. He’s just like that. He’s now talking marriage, but you know me. I don’t think I’m ready for that, but he’s so thoughtful, so caring, and we just get on so great.

Penelope had such beauty and grace, and as she was talking to her friends about Tony, Ashley noticed how her whole face just seemed to light up. She was born in a small town in Italy, got married and lived in London, and moved to Phoenix after visiting Scottsdale on vacation. She was sick of rain and the dreary weather in London and just loved the dry climate of the Southwest. She was glad to leave her ex-husband behind with all his issues and baggage and start a new life in Phoenix. In addition to being the admin to the regional VP, she also decided to get her real estate license all those years ago. She made so many contacts at the insurance company that those contacts continually fed her real estate venture, and she was the most financially secure of all of Ashley’s friends.

Plus, Penelope was the end-all entertainer. With all her success in real estate, she moved to Cave Creek, to a beautiful two-story home in a gated community exquisitely decorated from the magnificent wood floors to the hand-painted touches on the walls throughout the entire home. With a beautiful pool complete with a waterfall, her home was always the party destination. And party she did as she was a fantastic gourmet cook. All her friends always told her not to put herself out and offered to bring their food and drinks, but she still made all her Italian specialties, and friends always ended up leaving with P’s leftovers. No one could say no to her tasty tidbits.

Does Tony have a brother? Tori laughingly added, knowing full well that he didn’t, and everyone chimed in with I wish. Too bad he doesn’t, and lucky you, Penelope.

Seriously, Ashley added, "how did you get involved with this online dating? It seems so out there, and I don’t know if I can do it. I wouldn’t know where to begin."

Looks like Penelope already got you to the beginning, Dixie started. "It’s as easy as rolling out of bed, and I’ve done a lot of rolling out of plenty of beds plenty of times in my colorful past. Not so much these days, as you can’t be too careful with the communicable diseases out there, but once you get your profile set up, you’d be amazed at how many men will hit on you. In fact, when I first started, I bet I had over a hundred hits in the first week alone—so many men and so little time! They will be from LA to New York and hundreds in between. Now you just have to decide what you want in your man. Mr. Right comes