A Good Man

By Faye M. Hardin

A Good Man is a book based on actual events that occurred during the years this couple knew and were married to each other. Their marriage was strong, their love was strong, and their endurance was strong.

In this book, you will learn what an amazing man Wilford Hardin was and how his strength, his fight, and his endurance pushed him on to live more years than it had been predicted he would live, not once, but twice, by the medical professionals. You will be led through the journey he had to travel, and you will find that his beloved wife was always by his side all through his journey.

And you will learn that Wilford Hardin was, indeed, A Good Man.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524600389

Faye M. Hardin

On December 29, 2008, this author’s first book was published. Ironically, December 29 is this author’s firstborn’s birthday. Having that first book published on this already-memorable day made the date even more special for this Southern lady who is a mother and grandmother. The life of this author, Faye M. Hardin, has drastically changed since the publication of her first book. She is now a widow, having lost her husband, Wilford, on June 18, 2014, after an extended illness. She continues to live in the same small Southern town of Elizabethtown, North Carolina, where she and her husband had lived for over fifty-one years since October, 1962. She keeps busy as a widow, at least as busy as she wants to be, and she enjoys time with her beloved family and with friends, who have been her “pillows to lean on” and her “source of strength and comfort” since her husband’s death.

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© 2016 Faye M. Hardin. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  04/05/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-0039-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-0040-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-0038-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016905064

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Prologue

The Beginning

The Childhood

The Courtship

The Birthday

The Unexpected

The Disagreement

The Proposal

The September Birthdays

The Wedding Plans

The Rented House

The Pre-Nuptial Courtesies

The Wedding Day

The Car

The Honeymoon

The Routine

The Pregnancies

The Children

The Scleroderma

The Job

The Dialysis

The First Stroke

The Second Stroke

The Death

My Life Without Wilford

Through The Years

Remembering Special Days

Other books by Faye M. Hardin:

Memories

Blood, Sweat, and Fears

And a Little Bit More

Dedication

To Linda Britt……

For encouraging me to write this book.

Acknowledgments

With my deepest appreciation and thanks…..

To Wilford for loving me as only he could and did love me.

To God for creating me and Wilford, and giving us our long, wonderful, and loving life together.

To my Mother and Father for showing me, what love was and how to love. Their love laid the foundation for me to be the person I became with the capacity to love, as real love should be, and to find I was capable of loving in that way.

To our children, Renee and Wilt, who from the day they were born, gave me and Wilford the most incredible joy and love that parents could ever receive. We were so proud of the children you were, and we are so proud of the adults you have become. Being your parents was clearly the most blessed of all blessings from God.

To our grandchildren, Natalie, Ashley, and Heather, you made our lives complete; our family complete. Your Granddaddy and Grandmother are totally in love with each of you. Thank you, Wilt and Tracy, for giving us the joy and honor of becoming grandparents.

To Peggy for all the overnight visits, the food, and the supplies you always brought. I can still hear Wilford saying, Hey, Aunt Peggy, and you replying, Hey, Uncle Wilford. And when Wilford could no longer speak, his smile still said it all. You are the epitome of a sister’s love.

To our immediate family, we went through this journey together. For years, each day, little by little we could see his illnesses take the life from my husband, your Dad, your father-in-law, and your Granddaddy. Thank you for loving this man and standing by me and him throughout these heartbreaking times.

To all the doctors and nurses who treated Wilford all during his long Scleroderma journey and the journey that followed as each organ lost its ability to function. Your care and concern did not go unnoticed.

To Charles, Erica, Amy, Andrea, Deb, Viola, Susie, Donna, and Thelma for all the care and attention you gave to Wilford during those months and years of paracentesis procedures. No one could have been any better to Wilford. No evidence could have been any stronger than that, which was shown by you, as you cried when you saw Wilford the first time after his first stroke. Your compassion and love for this man was so overwhelming and emotional to me. You will never, never know just how much your kindness, and you, meant to Wilford and to me.

To Janice O. your love, support, and friendship during this whole journey of ours was unwavering. No one could be a better person and friend than you are and have been to me. You are one of God’s earthly Angels.

To Phyllis L. for all those times you came and brought Subs for you and me for lunch and visited with me on many dialysis days. You knew those were the days when I worried the most; your love and friendship warmed my heart, and your presence gave the day a better outlook and helped the time pass more quickly.

To Nancy T. who was never too busy to come if I needed her, day or night. You were the one constant that I could always depend on. I couldn’t have made it, Wilford and I couldn’t have made it, without your love and friendship all during our married life and especially during that last five-year journey that Wilford was on. You cannot possibly know what you do and have always meant to me, Wilford, and our family. You are truly another one of God’s earthly Angels.

To Jane W. whose calls and visits always came just when they were needed most. Mental telepathy I would say, you knew when I needed to hear a best friend’s voice, or see a best friend. Because you went through such anguish during Lacy’s death, I knew you knew any and all thoughts and feelings I was experiencing; I knew you understood where I was in Wilford’s journey. The bond, the love, and the friendship between us could not be stronger or mean more than it did then and continues now.

To Ann H. who would come and sit with me a while whenever that was what I needed most. Our conversation could take me away from the worry and fear of the unknown that certainly, at times, could be overwhelming. I appreciated those times and your kindness more than you will ever know. How blessed I have been to have you as a neighbor and friend.

To Wanda S. who made trips with me from the Rehab Center to Lumberton when Wilford had to be transported for doctor or hospital appointments. You made many visits to the Rehab Center to just check on Wilford and me; sometimes bringing a surprise caramel sundae for me, and, for me to share with Wilford. He got to eat some of the ice cream; that was easy for him to swallow. You knew that would be a treat for both of us, and it was. You are a strong woman and your strength gave me strength. Your love and friendship gave me comfort.

To Shirley B. who helped me wade through and sort stacks of papers that had to be processed for personal business before and since Wilford’s death. Those smiles of yours, the sweetness of your voice, and your hugs, coupled with your help, meant more to me than you can imagine. The days you helped me were dark, emotional times when I felt like my world was crushing in around me. And, it was, because Wilford was my world for so many, many years. I cannot begin to tell you how much your help meant to me; how much your love and friendship means to me.

To Shirley W. who was and is still a close friend who I could and can call on if I need her. She went with me several times when Wilford was having a Paracentesis, or if he or I had doctor appointments. I know she knows how much I appreciate all she has done for us, and for me; but I still think I cannot thank her enough. Our friendship has stood strong since we were kids in school. I am thankful for that friendship.

To Marvin for his almost daily visits to see Wilford after the first stroke. My heart would swell with emotions as he would start to leave and when he would take Wilford’s left hand and tell him that he loved him and that he would see him tomorrow. A deeper show of friendship and love could never be exhibited. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kindness, love, and friendship you have always given and shown to Wilford.

To Emery who faithfully visited Wilford and talked with him just as if Wilford could talk back to him. It did not hinder that conversation because Wilford couldn’t talk, but he could hold your hand in his left hand and that is what he did. That was his voice, and he used it to let you know you were appreciated and loved. Thank you for being a good friend to Wilford.

To Joshua and Randy who provided music at Wilford’s funeral. What an excellent job you did. The piano and organ have never sounded better. My heart was so full of love and appreciation to you for blessing us with your talents.

To Anna C. who sang Sunrise at Wilford’s funeral. It was beautiful, Anna; it couldn’t have been any prettier. I love that song. I played it on my piano and sang it to Wilford the afternoon before Wilford’s second stroke and I asked Wilford if he liked that song, and he shook his head yes. I said, Are you sure? He smiled and shook his head yes again. I am confident that he knew what I was thinking. Out at Bluefield Methodist, the church where I grew up, we sang that song often. I’ve never heard it sung in Trinity. The only time I have ever heard it sung at a funeral was at my Grandmother’s funeral back in 1952. It was sung at Wilford’s funeral and Anna sang it to perfection. Thank you, Anna, for sharing your talents and love with me and Wilford.

To all the Active and Honorary Pallbearers who served at Wilford’s funeral. I thank you for loving Wilford and giving him that last gift from you to him. Each of you held an honorable and most important place in Wilford’s heart. His association and friendship with you through the years was founded on a deep appreciation, respect, and love for each of you individually. I hope you know just how much Wilford Hardin thought of each of you.

To Shirley H. for the eloquent eulogy you delivered at Wilford’s funeral. It was beautiful; a wonderful message that not only highlighted Wilford’s life, but also reflected the deep love and respect you had for this good man. I will always remember your kindness, your friendship, and your love; all which we have mutually shared for many, many years.

To Cathy K. with whom I have been acquainted with for years, but with whom this acquaintance has grown and transformed into a mutual deep and enduring close friendship. I appreciated your intellect, your honesty, your candor, your sincerity, and your opinion when I would seek to pick your brain regarding any of my thoughts and ideas as I wrote this book. I knew you would always, always give me your opinion, not just say what you thought I wanted to hear. I value this friendship, and I value the person you are, the person I could put my trust and confidence in and knew I would always be given the responses I needed to get.

To all the many other family members and friends and acquaintances that I have not mentioned, you were and are not forgotten. Wilford was blessed by many, many people who thought the world of him. No matter where we went, in town, out of town, or out of county, someone always knew Wilford Hardin. And, it was evident to me that no matter who, no matter where, anyone who knew him, thought the world of him. The same goes for all his family and all my family members; everyone loved Wilford. I cannot thank you enough for relationships, kinships, and friendships with my husband. He certainly appreciated it, and I do, too.

Prologue

Wilford Hardin Was A Good Man. Those words kept echoing in my mind as they were repeated to me many, many times in the days following his death. Ironically, I, better than anyone else, knew this fact, those words, to be completely true. I could not begin to count the number of times, since I first met Wilford Hardin that I had been told, what a good man he was. I always thanked whoever said it to me, and said to them, I know, I am blessed. And, I was blessed, beyond measure, by getting to meet him, getting to know him, getting to fall in love with him, getting to marry him, getting to have children with him, and getting to live and share 51 years and 8 month of marriage, with this wonderful man.

The Beginning

Back track to February 4, 1962, to the day it all began. It was a pretty, sunny, Sunday afternoon; a good, winter day, to be out and about. My friend, Ann, who was also my cousin and nearby neighbor, decided we, should ride over to Whiteville, after lunch. I drove up to her house, and we rode, in her car, to the Twilight Drive-Inn and Grill. This was the most popular gathering spot, for teenagers and young adults, back in those days. We saw several close friends and acquaintances, and visited with them, as we enjoyed our usual Pepsi-float. A couple of hours had passed, and as we were preparing to leave, I noticed my brother, Frank, waving at me, from a car, that had just driven up and parked. He, and the man he was with, got out of the car and walked over to our car; and he introduced Wilford Hardin, to Ann and me. They worked together at Paul H. Sessoms Wholesale in Elizabethtown. We chatted a while, Ann and I then told Wilford it was nice to meet him, we told them goodbye; and we left to go back to Clarkton. On our way back to Clarkton, Ann and I commented that Wilford seemed like a really nice guy. We, both agreed, that he was a good looking guy; and he had a nice fit body.

We turned our conversation to the guy; she was hoping to continue a relationship with, after dating him a couple of times. I had recently dated a couple of guys; one whom I liked better than the other, but neither, that I expected, or wanted a serious relationship with. When Ann and I got back to Clarkton, we visited a little while with some other friends in town, and then we went on home.

I didn’t give much thought to Wilford, after that afternoon, except I did tell Mama and Daddy that I had seen Frank, and met a guy that worked with him at Paul Sessoms. On Tuesday, however, I got a phone call at work, and it was Wilford. He was calling to ask me out for Wednesday night. He told me that my brother, Frank and his wife, Sarah, would be with him, and that we would be going to Whiteville, to see a friend and co-worker, who was hospitalized; and then we would go to a movie. I agreed to the date, and told him I would be ready at six fifteen, as he had suggested. When they got to my house, the three of them were in Frank’s car. When we arrived at the hospital, Frank and Wilford went in to see their co-worker, while Sarah and I stayed in the car. They soon came out, and we went to the movie, and later got a burger and drink, at the Twilight Drive-Inn and Grill.

In talking with Wilford, I learned that he had gone to business school, after graduating from high school, had been in the National Guard, and he had worked, in Raeford at a cloth mill, before joining the Air Force. When he was discharged from the Air Force, in early December 1961, he moved to Dublin to live with his Mom, and soon afterwards, he had started working with Paul H. Sessoms Wholesale; and this was where he had met my brother. I also learned that he had seen me in my car, when I had gone by the warehouse to see my brother; and he had asked one of the other workers, who I was, and if I was single? Two things clicked with me; one, he had seen and noticed me and knew who I was, before he had met me on Sunday; I had not seen him or met him. Two, when I started adding up graduation, business school, National Guard, working, Air Force; this guy was older than me. Older enough so, that had I known this age difference beforehand, I probably would not have agreed to date him. I was just 18; I had never dated anyone more than three or four years older than me. And, although there were seven years difference in Mama and Daddy’s age, Mama probably would not have wanted me to date anyone that much older than me, at that time, at my age then.

Wilford was almost eight years older than me, but by the time the first date was over, I knew he was a good guy; it was a good date. Wilford was definitely a very nice guy, polite and courteous, he was witty, he had a good personality, he was a good conversationalist, he was very interesting; and he was easy to be with and talk to. He was good looking,