Everything but Satisfied: A Journey Toward Wholeness, Fulfillment, and Love

By Dr. Cathy R. Owens-Oliver

Youve been told that your husband is coming around the corner, but you cant figure out which corner that is. It seems your man is nowhere to be found, and you are still single. It is God who said being alone is not a good thing. And yet clearly you are alone. If God, back in the Garden of Eden, saw and knew that being alone is not good, why did he allow it? Why would God create or cause anything that is not good? Perhaps it is because God is up to something.

The sooner you align your desires with his, the sooner you will understand what he is up to and why your request to be married, among other things, is still in his inbox. The first thing you must understand is that the whole time youve been trying to get something from God, God has been trying to get something from you. Have you ever stopped to think about why you are single and what God may want you to do? There may be something that God has called you to do as a single woman that you must complete before you get married.

This book will help you realize that marriage is not the big picture; its just one piece of the puzzle. God has so much more in store for you. But between now, when you want it, and then, when you get it, God has set in motion a divine plan for your future. The more time you spend with him, the better prepared you will be for all the wonderful experiences the future holds, marriage included. This book will help you recognize and fill in some of the missing pieces in your life so that when you do get married, youll be ready for the challenge.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504961059

Dr. Cathy R. Owens-Oliver

Dr. Cathy R. Owens-Oliver is a born-again, spirit-filled believer. She is known both in church and the secular world for her success as a great teacher and motivational speaker. She has an uncanny ability to use her own personal experiences as a platform to not only speak into the lives of her readers but to serve as a lighthouse for their direction. She has a unique writing style that combines humor and poetry with biblical truth, offering practical strategies for maintaining a Christ-centered focus in trying times. Although she wrote most of this book while living in North Carolina and attending Evangel Fellowship Church, she now resides in Michigan. She is a faithful member of Harris Memorial Church, where she is active in womens ministries, youth outreach, and Sunday school.

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© 2015 Dr. Cathy R. Owens-Oliver. All rights reserved.

This book is a work of nonfiction. Names and places have been changed to protect their privacy.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/04/2015

ISBN: 978-1-5049-6105-9 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Unless otherwise noted, all scripture references are adapted from the King James Version of the Bible. Scripture references marked NKJV are from the New King James Version of the Bible. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc., used by permission. All rights reserved.

table of contents

Chapter 1

puzzled by the process

Chapter 2

in the waiting room

Chapter 3

out of order

Chapter 4

who am I?

Chapter 5

waiting to exhale

Chapter 6

hearing voices

Chapter 7

making demands

Chapter 8

the s.o.s. prayer

Chapter 9

dance with my father

Chapter 10

get over it

Chapter 11

defining moments

Chapter 12

home alone

Chapter 13

pregnant

Chapter 14

running a bit late

Chapter 15

chocolate covered strawberries

Chapter 16

missing a rib

Chapter 17

going together

Chapter 18

coming around the mountain

Chapter 19

everything but satisfied

dedication

In celebration of singleness,

this book is dedicated to my very best friend

J.C. Mylas

for being there for me while I wrote it,

and to my husband Sidney for not being there (yet)

because had you been,

I would never have finished it.

acknowledgments

Special thanks...

To my pastor and spiritual father

Bishop Otis Lockett, Sr. and his wife Lady Barbara,

for the prayers and the prophecies, the teaching and the training, and for being my inspiration.

To my loving parents,

Helen C. Kirby and John M. Owens,

for who I am.

To my mentor and lifelong friend,

Mother Dories Patrick,

for who you are.

To Bishop Walter E. Bogan, Sr. and his wife

Lady Dianne for teaching me about greatness.

To Meredith Glover and Brandi Hudson,

for being literary midwives.

To the bird

that dropped a rose in my lap.

To all my family and friends

for listening to me and believing in my dream.

perspectives

Finally, a God help book rather than a self-help book! I see myself in word after word, page after page. God's plan for us as women, whether single or married, is told by the author with clarity and backed by scripture. While it forces me to analyze my own life, it also reveals a new awareness of God's love for me.

-Joyce Wehneman, Farmland, IN

This is required reading for every marriage hopeful. The author is our let's get real girlfriend who recognizes there is a very spiritual side of living this Christian life, but doesn't forget that we are human and that we live in the real world. When I first read this, I felt like the author and I were sitting at my kitchen table just talking. I find myself always going back to reread something again.

-Brandi Hudson, Greensboro, NC

This book is phenomenal. I couldn't put it down. Each chapter ministered to me. Now I truly understand God's purpose and plan for singles. Every single woman needs to read this book and so does every man who has a daughter. In fact, this is a good book for single men because they face many of the same issues.

-Roberta Bombo, Atlanta, GA

The day I got this book, I read until 2 a.m. I could not put it down until I finished it. This is a must read for singles, regardless of age. I wish this book had been available years ago when I first started to date. But now that I am divorced and single again, there are still things that blessed me. I suggested the book to both of my daughters and now they want to share it with their friends. It is definitely a word inspired by God.

-Kay Walters, Fayetteville, NC

I have heard so many times that he's on the way and he's just around the corner. Well what corner is he around so that I can run to meet him? I am glad to know that I am not alone in dealing with these challenges. This book is a reminder that life doesn't just begin when we get married but we have a life to enjoy and a purpose to fulfill while yet single.

-Cherise Hubbard, Dallas, TX

This book is a blessing; I liked it. It came at a time in my life when I needed some direction and it helped me find exactly that. I think it will help single women realize they can make it. It is encouraging to any woman who reads it, not just single women.

-LaShon Henderson, Chicago, IL

Dear God,

Please bless the woman who is just beginning to read this book. May she be changed by the time she finishes reading it. Awaken the sleeping giants and unconscious dreams inside her. Give her a glimpse of what her life is supposed to be. Help her to pick up the broken pieces and hand them over to You. Help her to find the missing pieces and release them as well. Shake up the puzzle of her life and put it together the right way, Your way. Then give her a vision of everything fitting together---her family, her finances, her friendships, and her future. Give her grace, peace, and strength to share her own story in triumph rather than tears, in faith rather than fear. Cancel the enemy's plans for her life. Destroy any negative attitudes, especially compromise and complacency. Renew her confidence and give her real joy. Let her new journey begin now. Thank you, in advance.

chapter 1

puzzled by the process

I was so glad when the church service had ended because I would have exploded if my pastor had made one more comment about relationships. I was fed up with all the m words: man, mating, marriage.

How much more of this can I take? I said to myself as I stamped across the parking lot. I wish I could come to just one service and not have to listen to anything related to husbands and wives. Couples, couples, couples! That's all I hear! God, this is more than I can bear. Give me a break! I slammed the car door and sped away.

So many people had spoken words of encouragement and prophetic promise to me about my getting married very soon but none of what they told me had come true. I was so tired of people asking me if I found a man yet, telling me to keep the faith, and assuring me that everything I dreamed of was right around the corner. Which corner? Where? I was fed up with all the unfulfilled prophecies. I had done all the preliminaries: try it by the Spirit, mix it with faith, write it down and run with it, confess it and walk in it, name it and claim it, believe it and receive it. Whatever! Nothing had happened.

Now while I certainly did not think I was perfect, (after all, none of us have fully arrived) for the most part, I thought I had myself together. I felt that I was ready to love a man and I was definitely ready for one to love me. I wanted to be married. It's as simple as that. Singleness had become such a struggle for me; I was enduring it rather than enjoying it. Waiting on God for the right mate grew more and more difficult and I became extremely lonely. I knew God had someone special for me but I did not understand what was taking so long. If anyone was ready for marriage, I was (so I thought). It was my time. Why was God moving so slow?

So, why aren't we married? I said to my friends. Traci had invited Rose and me over for lunch.

I'm serious. Why aren't we married? I mean, if I were a man I think I would want to marry me.

Rose gave me that raised-eyebrow, here-we-go-again-look, but I just kept talking.

"Seriously, though. I am smart, attractive, hard-working, dedicated, educated, career-oriented, faithful, and prayerful. I cook well, I speak well, I pay my tithes, and I love children. On a scale of one to ten, I think I'm a strong eight."

Well, that sounds a little conceited to me, Traci announced over her shoulder. I don't know a man who's worthy of you.

I didn't mean it like that, I said wryly, trying to make sure I didn't give them the impression that I had put myself on a pedestal. All I said was that I was attractive and trying to please the Lord. What's wrong with that?

"Oh no, girlfriend, that is not all you said," Rose said reprovingly as she stood and proceeded to reenact the episode. Turning up her nose and batting her eyes, she pranced across the kitchen like a beauty contestant.

I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I'm anointed--- Rose performed as Traci, between giggles, echoed every word. "---I work hard...she works hard...I speak well...she speaks well...I'm a good cook...she can cook," they mocked. "And I'm a strooooong eight!" said Rose arrogantly and spun around with her right arm extended above her head.

"Yes, a strooooong eight!" Traci repeated, twirling around and landing behind Rose like they were Charlie's Angels.

Stop, you guys, I muttered as my eyes filled with tears.

Oh, God, here we go again, Rose moaned as she plopped into a seat at the table.

"What's wrong with feeling good about yourself? I pleaded. Someone has to. I think you two are strong eights, too. All three of us should have a man." I swallowed the knot in my throat.

There is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself but don't think that you are so perfect, Traci said to me. Then I started getting an attitude.

"Who said anything about being perfect? I snarled. I don't think I am perfect. Nobody is perfect. Does a girl have to be perfect to get a man? I feel like one flower among hundreds of daisies in a field yelling to the gardener, Pick me, pick me! Why doesn't the right man want me? What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you. It is just not your turn, yet, Rose protested. You are going to get your turn in God's timing. We all are. You need to be patient, keep the faith, and---"

---Yeah, right. Keep the faith, I interrupted. "Keep the faith? For how long? If one more person tells me to wait patiently and keep the faith until it's my turn, I am really going to lose it. When is my turn? When is what I am waiting for actually going to happen? I want my blessing to show up now."

But--- Tracy attempted to head off my melt down.

Nobody understands, I muttered.

An hour later, I was still having a pity party when Traci suddenly threw herself to the floor beside my chair and grabbed me by the ankles, exclaiming, Oh, ye eight! Thou art so high and lifted up. How can we be like thee?

Rose grabbed my arms and joined in. Strong eight! Strong eight! Between tears and laughs, I struggled to break free.

"Oh, ye