Out of the Wilderness: A New Approach to Personal Development and Rehabilitation

By Javier Miranda

You are holding in your hands a book with the power to dramatically transform the lives of men, women, and the families of those affected by crime. Out of the Wilderness provides a trove of important resources and information. This eye-opening book offers a powerful vision of rehabilitation and a vital new curriculum for the life that can change societys view of incarceration. Simple explanations and engaging history lessons provide the reader the practical tools to recognize our shared humanity and the ability to change for the better. Out of the Wilderness also helps to avoid many of the obstacles that plague incarceration, which eventually can lead to recidivism. This book is divided into five parts to be read in 5 weeks that is just 35 days to freedom. Some of the topics this comprehensive guide covers are:

American Prison System
Anger
A Social Behavior
Behavioral Modification
Conflict Resolution
Criminology
Denial
Depression
Education
Empathy Exercise
Finding Meaning after Prison
Forgiveness
Goal Setting
Health & Nutrition
Healthy Relationships
Insight
Making Amends
Meditation
Mental Illness
Moral Compass
Nature of Trauma
Parenting while Incarcerate
Parole Preparation
Phases of Incarceration
Prison and Contagious Diseases
Prison Colleges
Prison Etiquette
Reentry
Rehabilitation
Rehabilitation Models
Remorse
Social Capital
Spiritual Development
Spirituality & Prison
Suicide Prevention
Survival Skills
The History of Parole
The History of Prison
The Nature of Recidivism

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781532004377

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 J. DiSalvo.

Out of the Wilderness cover and illustrations created by John Matthew Zoccoli.

Out of the Wilderness logo created by Whitfield Cardman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0436-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0437-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016912904

iUniverse rev. date: 02/28/2017

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Before the Journey

Rehabilitative Frame Work

Introduction

Part One

Week 1

A few words for those at risk of incarceration

Prison Life Overview

Chapter One

The Wilderness

Stanford Prison Experiment

Chapter Two

Phases of Incarceration

Early Phase

Middle Phase

Final Phase

Chapter Three

Survival Skills

Rehabilitation

Trauma

PTSD and Prison

Self-Esteem

Chapter Four

Depression and Prison

Suicide

Loneliness

Friendship and Prison

Prison and Religion

Chapter Five

Emotional Numbness

Chapter Six

Basic Emotional Reactions to Loss of Freedom

Denial

Anger

Prison Aggressive Types

THREE LIFE GIVING ATTITUDE READJUSTMENTS

Rules to Deal with Conflict

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Grief

Chapter Seven

Prison Personalities

Humor and Peer Criticism

The Hypersensitive

The Over-Controlling

Prison Etiquette 101

The Prisoner’s Twelve Commandments

Chapter Eight

Mental Illness

Mental Illness Vocabulary

Mental Health While Incarcerated

Personality disorders

Cognitive disorders

Dissociative disorders

Somatoform disorders

Factitious Disorders

Substance-related disorders

Impulse-Control Disorders

Adjustment Disorder

Red Flags or Warning Signs

Chapter Nine

Asocial Behavior

Continuum of Asocial Behavior

Food for Thought

Spiritual Support

Part Two

Week 2

Chapter One

Indeterminate Sentence

Determinate & Presumptive Sentences

Cumulative sentences

Appeals

Habeas Corpus

Chapter Two

Prison Basic Facts

Prisons vs. Jails

Confinement as Punishment in Europe

European Prison Reform

American Prison Systems

Silent System (Pennsylvania System)

Separated System

The Mark System

Congregate System

Abolition of Slavery

Prison Reform

Chapter Three

The Rehabilitative Model (Parole & Rehabilitation)

Indeterminate Sentences

The Bartlett Commission in New York

Theoretically and Empirically Flawed

Early Release Programs

The Sentencing Reform act of 1995

Chapter Four

Understanding Criminology

Sub-Cultural Theories

Typologies

Chapter Five

What is Parole?

The History of Parole

1980 Parole Reformation

Steps to Prepare a Parole Packet

Chapter Six

Prison and Contagious Diseases

Chapter Seven

The Hepatitis Family

Chapter Eight

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Chapter Nine

HIV & AIDS

How HIV Infection Spreads

Dental Hygiene

Smoking, Cancer, and Prison

Your Legal Rights

Food for Thought

Spiritual Support

Part Three

Week 3

Chapter One

Defining Moment

Reacquiring the Best of Your Human Nature

Chapter Two

Introspection

Unproductive Patterns

Hindering Defense Mechanisms

How to Stop Distorted Thoughts

Chapter Three

Overcoming Addiction

Chapter Four

Letting Go

Chapter Five

Your Primary Issues

Dealing with Your Primary Issues

Chapter Six

Moral compass

Empathy

Insight

Remorse

Transformation

Developing a New Moral Compass

Chapter Seven

Moral Development

Chapter Eight

Relationships in Prison

Your Associations

Romantic Relationships

Domestic Violence

Chapter Nine

Relationship with Your Children

Prison Visits

Family Reunion Program/ Conjugal Visits

Chapter Ten

Becoming a Sociable Person

Chapter Eleven

Two Types of Guilt

Making Amends

Apology Letter Bank

Food for Thought

Spiritual Support

Part Four

Week 4

Chapter One

Self-Awareness

Psychological Deterioration

Goal Setting and the Five Accounts

Goal Setting

Chapter Two

Nutrition & Exercise

Minerals and Vitamins

Exercise in Prison

Calisthenics

Target Heart Zone

Callisthenic Workout

Weights Workout

Exercise Descriptions

Chapter Three

After-Exercise Nutrition

Chapter Four

Education

Food for Thought

Spiritual Support

Part Five

Week 5

Chapter One

EXODUS Factors that Influence Parole Success

Avoidance Technique

Positive Self-Talk

Choices

Hidden Values

Chapter Two

The New You

The Nature of Recidivism

Chapter Three

Social Capital

Successful Transition

Community Outreach

Prison Preparation

Chapter Four

Social Readjustment

Take Advantage of Prison Resources

Documents

In regards to resumes

Prison Experience

Finding Meaning After Incarceration

A life-Giving Way of Life:

Profiles

Few NYTS Graduates

Bard College Prison Initiative

Hudson Link for Higher Education in Prison

New York Theological Seminary

What is a M.P.S.?

History of NYTS

Colleges in NYS Prisons

The EXODUS Concept

The Practical Aspects of EXODUS Study

Glossary

Family Relationship Terms

Journey Reflection

Daily Meditations

Relaxation Method

Day One

Day Two

Day Three

Day Four

Day Five

Day Six

Day Seven

Day Eight

Day Nine

Day Ten

Day Eleven

Day Twelve

Day Thirteen

Day Fourteen

Day Fifteen

Day Sixteen

Day Seventeen

Day Eighteen

Day Nineteen

Day Twenty

Day Twenty-One

Day Twenty-Two

Day Twenty-Three

Day Twenty-Four

Day Twenty-Five

Day Twenty-Six

Day Twenty-Seven

Day Twenty-Eight

Day Twenty-Nine

Day-Thirty

Day Thirty-one

Day Thirty-Two

Day Thirty-Three

Day Thirty-Four

Day Thirty-Five

Bibliography

End Notes

Grateful acknowledgement is made for permission to reprint previously published material: The Four Accounts, courtesy of Muzaffar Khan from Racing Towards Excellence, written by Muzzafar Khan and Jan Sramek. Copyright © 2009.

Great appreciation to Dr. E.L. Hunt, NYTS North Campus Director, for his permission to utilize the photos and profiles of New York Theological Seminary faculty and alumnae.

I wish to express my gratitude to Reverend Edwin Muller, for his permission to utilize EXODUS’s concept and materials.

I wish to express my gratitude to Ben Al-Dijali, for his permission to use unpublished material, the essay A Few Reasons Not to Come to Prison.

I wish to express my gratitude to Michael Crawford, for his permission to use unpublished material, the poem Dear Young Brother: Think.

I wish to express my gratitude to Samuel Morris, for his permission to use unpublished material.

In memory of a group of Life-Giving visionaries: Professor Anita Miccossi, Professor Janine Pommy Vega, Professor John C. Fout, Reverend Lonnie McLeod, and Reverend Maria Maríta Arís-Paúl—the rock of the EXODUS Family. Great role models to us all. The memory of their deeds and teachings will be etched in our hearts forever. 11686, the legacy of service and sacrifice will always be remembered. This world, this country, our community are all better places because of you.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me.

Psalm 23:4

Dedication

With sincere admiration and appreciation, this book is dedicated to a paradigm shifter, my mentor during my journey through the Wilderness, Reverend Edwin Muller (Founder of the EXODUS Program). He changed my worldview and encouraged me to be a life-giving person in the world. In addition, my appreciation extends to a group of men who have influenced my life tremendously: Mr. Julio Medina (Founder of the EXODUS Transitional Community—a leader and great role model to us all), Mr. Kent Mckamy, Reverend Petero Subune, Father Allen Ford, Reverend Juan Moreno, and Dr. Edward L. Hunt; these are visionaries who have dedicated most of their lives to the betterment of our society and the rehabilitation of those who are incarcerated. These men are stalwart believers in the ability of those who are imprisoned to live productive lives upon release.

This book is also dedicated to the Secretary of State of New York, Rossana Rosado, a woman who has worked tirelessly to make a difference in our society—including within our prisons. With her leadership, charisma, honesty, and dedication, she is a lantern, lighting up even the darkest places of our society. She valiantly inspires hope and courage in the lives of those languishing in misfortune and unhappiness. Thank you for caring.

Out of the Wilderness would have not been possible without the influence of Max Kenner in my life. Max, you changed my world, by providing me with the tools to forge a better future. Thank you for believing in me. This book is also dedicated to those who day by day work to make a difference in this world such as Bard College’s President Leon Botstein and Bard College faculty: Prof. Megan Calleghan, Prof. Robert Fullilove, Prof. Jeff Jurgens, Prof. Daniel Karpowitz, Prof. Condaliff Lagamann, Prof. Delia Mellis, Prof. Robert Tynes, Prof. Emma Kreyche, Prof. Dorothy C. Albertini, Professors Daniel (Leinad) Berthold & Melanie Nicholson, Prof. Jed B. Tucker, Prof. David W. Bond, Prof. Tabatha Ewing, Prof. Donna Ford Grover, Prof. Patrick Hanley, Prof. Peter Laki, Prof. Nancy Leonard, Prof. Delia Melis, Prof. Gretchen Primack, and Prof. Anthony Zito. All of your efforts and quality education spreads the benefits of academia into the most isolated community—prison. Rest assured that your work is transformative and without a doubt, it will reverberate among future generations.

This work is also dedicated to Dr. Dale T. Irvin, New York Theological Seminary President and the NYTS faculty: Dr. Earnest Jones, Dr. Mark Chapman, Dr. Nancy Fields, Dr. Jill Schaeffer, Dr. Efrain Agosto, and the great Gwendoline Warner Williams. Their faith, love, compassion, and example are by far the most positive and powerful forms of rehabilitation available to prisoners.

This book is dedicated to those who silently work every day to make a difference in people’s lives: Malabar Bāz, Carla Jo Wagastein-Vega, Katherine A. Moskowitz, Ricardo Shepp Sheppard, Bob Luckey (from Rising Hope), Wanda Deveaux, Mrs. Eve Simmons, Mr. Ariel Escobar ORC, Deacon J. Doherty, Mr. Warren Slutsky FSA II, Father Matthew Ugwoji, and Gordon (EXODUS).

Also, to a group of trailblazers: Lasyah M. Palmer (LegalTech Ceo), George Chochos, Ms. Diana Ortiz, Larry White, Jujahid Farid, Glen E. Martin, Richard Stanley, Ramon Caba, and Mr. Sean Pica—True Survivors of the Wilderness—role models and a source of inspiration to all those who are imprisoned. Thank you for being a beacon of hope and leading the way.

In addition, many thanks to the staff of the New York Public Library and the prison librarian Sarah Ball, and her wonderful team: Emily Jacobson, Joshua Peach, Anita Battagliola, Kevin Saw, Lauren Restivo, Loise Stamp, and Brian Hasbrouck. Their publication, Connections, is one of the most valuable resources for reentry in NYS.

Also my unending gratitude to The Brick Presbyterian Church Ministry (Ms. Desiree, Thomas Auth, Michael Barnes, Cheryl Beall, Marc Engberg, Douglas King, Michael Lindvall, Robert McCrie, Kent Mckamy, Samuel Slater, Catherine Clare Strange, Gwendoline Williams, William Wilson, and the great Judi McCandless. Her forgiveness workshop is a paradigm changer); The Rye Presbyterian Church Ministry (Wayne Atwell, Gertrude Bunke, Milly Cordtez, C.J. DeSantis, Helen Dillon, Sam Dimon, Howland Dinah, Dolores Eyler, Cheryl Hunt, Victor Kiarsis, Jackie Labatt-Simon, Katherine Meeks, Heather Miller, Rev. John Miller, Linda Otness, Christian Philemon, Dr. Dawn Ravella, John Ryan, John Savarese, Tony Savarese, Ron Sizemore, Samuel Smith, Bob Steed, Nancy Steed, Sandya Subbharo, and Estelle Williams); (Nancy, Bob, Gertrude Trudy, John, Linda, Estelle, Dawn, Heather, Jackie, and Christian); and The Ossining Presbyterian Church (Glen Bucher, Marylin Bucher, Barbara Devir, Eleanor Carney, John Dick, John Fullerton, Williams Ingraham, John Krueger, Sharon Krueger, Winfield Peacock, Jennifer Rodriguez, Elizabeth Williamson and William Wilson); their faith and humanity provides hope for a better future, remember[ing] the prisoners as if chained with them, (Hebrew 13:3).

These men and women sacrifice their time, energy, and sometimes their health and even their personal safety to show the rest of us a clear vision of how to live, love, cope, rebuild, and forgive. They bear witness to the truth even when it is unpopular. With courage, they point out the way things ought to be. Thank you for your example and the inspiration your actions provide. This book is also dedicated to my family (Patria, Jay-ne, Gabrielle, and Lilian) for their unflagging love and support.

Acknowledgements

The axiom no man is an island is especially true when trying to write a self-help book about prison and rehabilitation… do I know it. Thus, I want to thank Ben Al-Dijali, who played a crucial role in the completion of this book; his suggestions and contributions proved an essential component in the creation of Out of the Wilderness. Also, special thanks to Muzzafar Khan, an awarded writer and poet, not only for his unflagging support for my work but also for his encouragement to always pursue my dreams. This book would not be the same without the illustrations, and for that, I am grateful for the work of the renowned artist and friend—John Zoccoli. In addition, I am indebted to Ed Leary for his comments and editorial skills. I need to take a minute to give a special thanks to Jason Naradzay (JEPTHA GROUP), he provided great insight and support for the creation of this book.

Again, every book owes a debt to a wide array of people, given the nature of Out of the Wilderness, the debt extends to nearly everyone I have ever known, worked with, or read. There are many lessons in this book; they reflect numerous lives and experiences. I am particular grateful to the following people who provided help on parts of the various drafts or assisted with the book’s concept and ideas: Gordon Davis, Byron Ortiz, Steve Bingaman, Michael Crawford, Samuel Morris, Whitfield Wit Cardman, Kevin Gentle, Gary Cody, Luis Mieles, Eudy Sanchez, Freddy Medina, Michael Flournoy, Mark Boatswain, Dorell R. Smallwood, Powerful and Cincere, Angel Thomas Tueros, Michael Rowe, Artis Anthony, Nequan Williams, Stacey Fuller, Jose Rodriguez, Sean Kyler, Xavier Moxley, Sa’d Muhammad, Andre Jenkins, James Syphrett, David Small, Daniel Callahan, and Donnel Perkins. I also want to thank Marilyn Martin for her insight into human behavior. Among others to be thanked are members of the EXODUS group at Eastern Correctional Facility.

Victor and Janet, your love and friendship is a source of great comfort. God bless. Special thanks to Patria Peralta for her unweaving love and support. I also want to thank Gabrielle Camille for her unique perspective, encouragement, revisions to drafts, and technical support—thank you Gabby. Finally and not least, my partner in all adventures, Jay-ne DiSalvo, for her constant and unconditional support, which gives me the strength to believe that all things are possible. She is an empowered and internally directed woman who faces challenges with courage as a life-giving person; without her help and dedication, this book would have never come to light.

All of these individuals have contributed to this book in some way; their knowledge and insight, small and large, is shared with you herein. I wrote this book with the sober knowledge that many of you will use this information to change your lives. To that end, I have worked assiduously to present both the science and the empirical information with diligence and clarity. If there are any errors in this book, they are my responsibility and mine alone. This effort is an attempt to leave this world—prison—a better place than what I found it. Catalyzing positive change—one individual at a time—in the darkest of places.

JM

Before the Journey

This book has its own story, but its origins go back to a small group called EXODUS that met every Friday afternoon, under the guidance of Rev. Edwin Muller. The group presented a safe place for the development of ideas and personal growth aimed at making this world a better place. In general, prison systems throughout the world are necessary institutions, housing sociopaths and other out-of-control individuals away from society. Yet, we must not forget that prison is also comprised of people who have experienced positive change. This is evidenced by the many people who, after doing their time constructively, have subsequently mainstreamed and become productive and law-abiding members of society. These people had persevered and some even managed to thrive within a largely punitive system to become assets to our society.

Out of the Wilderness provides those who are incarcerated with certain tools necessary to transform imprisonment into a positive life-changing experience. To that end, a central message of this book is the offender’s responsibility to victims, their families, and society. As part of our rehabilitation, we must work to bridge the gap between victims and victimizers, endeavoring to make amends to those whose lives we have affected by our past criminal lifestyle. The concept of Out of the Wilderness is no guesswork—it is the product of a lifetime dealing with deviancy and the power of change. Yet, in order to change and become a morally grounded individual—first—you need to survive. To survive you need to understand the prison environment. The combination of personal change and survival do not make for an easy journey; you will need the support of your family, friends, loved ones, and more important—a belief in a higher power. If you currently lack in these areas, have a little faith—and read on.

Even though this guide is addressed, primarily, to those who are imprisoned and their loved ones, victims and their loved ones can also benefit and gain insight into the challenges and process of change experienced behind bars through the demystification of the prison experience. Therefore, it is imperative to open the space for the discussion of feelings. Such dialogue allows for the reinterpretation of the past and opens the possibility of establishing, mending, and strengthening relationships. Thus, a key component of understanding the present is to understand the past. Through this understanding, Out of the Wilderness seeks to transform people’s lives. It provides insight into the ways in which prison exacerbates your negative traits and the changes in perception brought about by your adaptation to the prison environment—thus, increasing the chances of positive change.

Although Out of the Wilderness utilizes many sources, the model is grounded on the Reverend Edwin Muller’s EXODUS concept.¹ Developed in the late 1960s, the EXODUS concept is based on the biblical story of Israel’s journey from Egypt through the wilderness in search of the Promised Land. According to Rev. Edwin Muller, EXODUS was developed for those who are incarcerated living with no hope in a state of oppression and wandering lost in the wilderness. Out of the Wilderness shares EXODUS’s view that prison can be compared to the Egypt experience; in captivity, you learn to live without hope and become radically dependent upon the system. Many of us, while in captivity live with unaddressed issues and no coping mechanism—we call that state of existence the wilderness.

Within the wilderness, you wander in the system, lost without a plan or purpose watching movies, playing cards, reading novels, loitering in the yard, or spending inordinate time on the telephone. In the streets, just like in prison, if there is no hope for a life-giving way of life distortion sets in and you begin to believe that money, drugs, and sex are your promised land. Later, you realize that if you live without hope there may be little difference between prison and the streets. In one you are physically bound, but in both you are spiritually lost. I believe that your promised land is connected to the life-giving future that you can create through your efforts. If your goals are life-giving and hope for the future is strong, then the quality of your life will be transformed and so will the nature of your life’s journey.² Under this interpretation, there is no better school than life’s adversities. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, every disappointment contains its own seed for success. Nevertheless, regardless of the length of the sentence, incarceration can be a person’s worst nightmare. Some of those who are sentenced to prison do not come out alive. A good example of prison’s instability can be found in the events that took place at the Attica State Prison in 1971.³

On September 13, 1971, during the riot, police and guards stormed the Attica prison. In the process of retaking the prison, officials killed what they thought to be 39 inmates. In regards to the event, Senator John R. Dunne testified that deplorable and abusive conditions led to the Attica rebellion—also known as the Attica Riot.⁴ According to the record, the conditions prompted an inmate spokesman to say, If we cannot live as people, then we will at least die like men. At the end of that tragic day, men in uniform murdered twenty-nine prisoners and ten prison guards in what New York Times columnist Tom Wicker, an official observer during the rebellion, called an orgy of wanton shooting. Ten prison guards were discovered shot to death. They were dressed as prisoners at the time of their death. Unquestionably, those retaking the prison murdered them.

Years before the Attica uprising, the general public and the government in different states around the nation were aware of the horrible things happening in state prisons—mass graves of murdered convicts in Arkansas; human remains found during a prison gym renovation in New York; gang rapes of young prisoners in Philadelphia; appalling conditions on southern road gangs—these and similar stories appeared with sickening regularity in the press during the late 1960s. The riot and the associated killings led to prison reforms all around the United States. Yet, then and now, prison life can turn into the nightmare in a blink of an eye for both inmates and guards. Most recently, in the news:

Four inmates dead after a prison fight. The New York Daily reports, Three inmates were stabbed to death during an attack or fight at an Oklahoma prison and a fourth died of his injuries overnight…. A preliminary investigation determined that the stabbings apparently happened in quick succession while the inmates at a medium-security wing of the prison were being let out of their cells into the exercise yard, said Terri Watkins, a spokeswoman for the Department of Corrections.⁵

Frightening; even in the darkest places, however, there is always hope. You are probably asking yourself, How am I going to get out of prison? For your information, there are only eight ways to get out of prison once you are sentenced: parole, conditional release, max-out, legislative fiat, reversal, clemency, escape, or death. These last two are not viable options, and the other requires time.

As you probably know by now—prison is an unnatural environment. The more time spent behind bars, the more warped your perception tends to become. You become desensitized to the irrational behavior of both guards and fellow prisoners. Even worse, there comes a point when you begin to rationalize their unreasonable acts. Prison is a place that can rend a person apart mentally and physically. Let me be clear, you will not survive incarceration unscathed—nobody does.

All those who are exposed to the prison system are influenced by it—one-way or another—even your family. The best you can do to minimize the negative effects of prison is to utilize your time behind bars constructively. Finding ways to ameliorate incarceration’s negative influence is key to retaining the best of your humanity. In other words, the key to survival is to use your time behind bars to become intimately knowledgeable about yourself, meaning your past, your present, and your future. Acknowledging and addressing the reason for the behavior that led you to deviate from the norms of society is paramount for your survival and rehabilitation.

Most likely, prior to getting involved with the criminal justice system you experienced a series of traumatic events in your life such as violence, death, neglect, abandonment, physical and psychological abuse. Now, compounded with any issues you had before prison are the trauma of your instant offense and the negative effects of incarceration. It is very unlikely that things are going to get better without you taking the initiative to help yourself. Believe me, nobody is going to help you unless you show signs that you want to help yourself.

It is well documented that the prison environment influences the psychological condition of the individual. The separation from society sends the message that those who are incarcerated are worthless. Even when intending to create responsible community members, prison takes away the need for responsibility through constant control. In addition, prison effectively silences prisoners by minimizing their humanity and focusing on only one aspect of the individual—his wrongdoing—ignoring other aspects, including their strengths, thus freezing the individual in time. You need to be tough and brutally honest to be able to accept your past, address your primary issues, and work towards the development of a better self and future. An example of the determination, resiliency, and drive needed to survive prison may be found in William E. Henley’s poem—Invictus.

The poem, Invictus, helped Nelson Mandela to survive his long imprisonment in a South African prison.⁶ During his long incarceration, Mandela worked on his personal development and embraced the power of forgiveness to the point that once released, he was prepared to be president of a nation.i Henley’s poem begs the questions: what drives a person to survive? What human trait promotes resiliency? Think about this poem and its implications to your life and future.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade.

And yet the menace of the years,

Finds, and shall find me—unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishment the scroll,

I am the master of my fate;

I am the captain of my soul.

By William Earnest Henley, 1875.

Is Henley’s poem heretical? Maybe. Yet, it calls attention to the need of the individual to accept responsibility for his or her life and actions. In my experience, a deep examination of my life helped me to understand the need for resiliency—my desire for redemption. Because of a deviant lifestyle and poor judgment, I was involved in a crime in which an innocent man lost his life. Even though I did not pull the trigger nor wish the man any harm, I am just as guilty as if I had. I truly regret the choices I made which lead me to be a part of that tragic event. The loss of a human life, because of my deviant lifestyle, affected me both emotionally and spiritually. My actions, not only lead to the tragic loss of a precious human life, but also the shattering of a young family. In the aftermath, the image of a young pregnant widow holding the hand of a toddler while sitting on a cemetery bench is etched in my heart forever.

Today, I am able to understand how my lifestyle and actions hacked at the fabric of our society. When I finally understood the magnitude and the implications of my actions, I became spiritually and mentally devastated—in the Wilderness.

During my journey, I learned that outward circumstances or conditions such as incarceration do not determine what our lives become nearly as much as the thoughts that dominate our minds. No one can overcome anything until his thoughts are positive and life-giving. In this context, life-giving thoughts focus on acts and behavior that can better humanity. It is important that during this journey you lift your mind to a higher level. Some call this sober thinking.

Mentally, as you rise above the defeats and conflicts you face, your personality will receive help from your higher power in the form of clear thinking, deeper understanding, renewed strength, and the ability to empathize. Conversely, when your thoughts are in confusion, you live in an unreal world, and you cannot see your way out of the wilderness. Everyone has serious regrets in our lives, but life goes on.

After deep introspection and acceptance of my past, I was able to forgive myself by accepting responsibility for my actions. During the process, I renewed my faith in God. The belief in a higher power and my ability to believe in the possibility of a better tomorrow proved instrumental for both my spiritual and emotional development.

After examining my life, I realized how I wasted my youth. I was disgusted by my selfishness. Clearly, I needed to change my barren life—morph into a life-giving person. I concluded that I did not want to be remembered solely by my past. Yet, personal change is a process that cannot be rushed. It takes time to make a permanent change in your life. I started by changing my negative thoughts and actions—seeking a life-giving way of life. A life-giving way of life can be defined as a life lived in accordance with one’s positive moral compass, endeavoring to better humanity.

Life-giving way of life implies that I am my brother’s keeper and that I am a member of society. Thus, we are all obligated to live a crime free and socially responsible life. Before my transformation, I had a negative outlook of the future. I hated myself. I was ashamed of my past choices. I repeatedly asked myself, How could I have been so stupid? Since, I have learned the simple but enduring lesson: positive thoughts produce positive lives and negative thoughts produce negative lives—it is that simple. Nobody benefits from a person who only dwells negatively on the past. Thus, I began to focus on my future. To be future oriented has changed my worldview. Now I acknowledge my role and responsibility to others in society.

My journey through the wilderness began similarly to the biblical Exodus, the journey from captivity, through the wilderness, and into the promised land. During my imprisonment, I prayed daily for deliverance, for the opportunity to redeem myself before God and my community. It is important to me to show those I have harmed and disappointed in my life that I have become a different kind of man. All told, I deeply regret the suffering that I have brought to others: my victim and his family, and my family.

I made a series of terrible choices in my past. Nevertheless, the man I was ceased to exist long ago. I do not look like him and I no longer want the same things from life as him; I am not who I was—I have changed. As the apostle Paul said, Whenever a person comes to be part of the body of Christ by faith, there is a new act of creation on God’s part. One set of conditions or relationships has passed out of existence; another set has come to stay (II Corinthians 5:17). Now I understand that Paul’s words can be interpreted as describing the discontinuity between who I was and the new person in Christ I have become, my renewal—my rebirth.

An important part of letting go of my past was to come to terms with my mistakes and the commitment to work towards building a better tomorrow; thus, the creation of Out of the Wilderness and The Path Out of the Wilderness Mentoring Program began.ii I am grateful to hundreds of teachers, who helped me shape my life and learn these truths. I also thank God for the privilege of sharing them with you. I know that in prison it is easy to be caught in the routine of nonproductive activities. Nonproductive use of leisure time often leads to the development of resentment over incarceration.

Resentment impinges the healing process of spiritual growth. Through Out of the Wilderness, I will show you how you can use your time constructively and change negative patterns of behavior. Let me guide you into the path of spiritual growth and social responsibility.

Before we start, you need to understand the following:

✓ This book was created for you.

✓ It is no accident that you are holding this book.

✓ This is your opportunity to change your life for the better.

The lessons within Out of the Wilderness will enable you to discover your true potential and help you ameliorate the negative effects of incarceration. At the end of this journey, you will understand your purpose in life and will comprehend the intricate nature of the big picture and your role in it. You will also learn how all the pieces of your life fit together—like a big puzzle. Having this new understanding will reduce your stress, simplify your decisions, increase your confidence, and will stop you from recidivating. In sum, Out of the Wilderness breaks the chains of recidivism by catalyzing positive change.

Rehabilitative Frame Work

Out of the Wilderness provides an anthropological approach to rehabilitation.⁷ It utilizes a combination of a historical background and a sociological perspective to examine the criminal justice system to identify the best ways to avoid the pitfalls that can keep you from achieving your goals and rehabilitation. With robust historical overview, this book identifies the social struggles with crime and rehabilitation in us, breaking open new possibilities for personal development and a clear roadmap for a crime-free future. Out of the Wilderness is based on an anthropological study of prison and rehabilitation. Its historical components have a neutral theoretical basis on which evidence was selected, filtered, and interpreted.

In the making of this book, I sought to uncover the many truths of incarceration and its contradictions. In my analysis of the evidence, the significance of having a subjective interpretation of the criminal justice system and its forces equals the acceptance of a reality that contains a multiplicity of perspectives. I firmly believe that a historical narration, just like an anthropological study of a subject, should not dismiss views that are contradictory, but that the scholar should seek to find the validity of various points of views through investigation and analysis. Indisputably, historical and anthropological practices have many things in common.

In regards to their similitude, Bernard S. Cohn states, "historians and anthropologist have common subject matter, ‘otherness.’"⁸ He argues that "one field constructs and studies ‘otherness’ in space, the other in time. He also asserts that both fields have a concern with text and context.⁹ Thus, in the study of otherness, anthropologists and historians not only utilize similar methodological practices, but also confront similar conceptual choices. These choices are focused on the accuracy of the work and the ethical responsibility to the studied subjects. Therefore, each field of study contributes to the enrichment of the other. During disciplined inquiry, researchers tend to encounter similar obstacles in the quest to understand human interactions. Yet, because the principal focus of historians is the cause and effect of an event that leads to social change, the understanding of the human experience and cultural significance are also necessary. Cohn suggests, History can become more historical in becoming more anthropological" and vice versa. ¹⁰

Further, Franz Boaz, in The Methods of Ethnology, claims that in order to understand history it is necessary to know not only how things are, but how they have come to be, since he believes that each cultural group has its own unique story, dependent partly upon the peculiar inner development of the social group, and partly upon the foreign influences to which it has been subjected.¹¹ In this case, the history of incarceration and the development of prison as a center for punishment and rehabilitation.

Anthropologists are always seeking to understand culture from the native’s point of view. In this analysis, there are many different points of views and interpretations of the facts. For example, the prisoners and their families, the guards, the politicians, and the crime victims—all play specific roles in the criminal justice culture, influencing both punishment and rehabilitation.

On the other hand, culture and cultural components are all historical. Boaz explains, because they are constantly being constructed: people everywhere live lives which are constituted out of the past (this includes guards, victims, and victimizers). Yet, the cultural characteristics are continually being invented or modified, without being totally transformed.¹² In this book, I argue that a close examination of both provide the information necessary to understand how now influences tomorrow.

Let me be clear, many of the prisoner’s perspectives that shaped this book come from those who lived in the inner city of New York and who received life sentences for violent crimes. Many were young, poor, and uneducated prior to incarceration. Consequently, I write from a framework that includes those who have experienced the criminal justice system first hand (as victims or victimizers). This framework cannot and does not speak for everyone. However, in this book, I also place special attention on victims and their families.

In general, the justice system at some point ignores or shuts out the majority of people impacted by crime—victims and their families, offenders’ families, and communities. It can be argued that victims experience exclusion from the justice process after the sentencing process. The state replaces the victim, this is evident with the language of The State vs. Joe/Jane Doe—the Offender. In other words, the criminal justice system provides only a short-term solution, not addressing the long-term needs of victims once the offender is sentenced. By not focusing on healing and reconciliation, the justice process denies victims their humanity as people who are affected mentally and emotionally by crime. Offenders’ families also experience the impact of crime. Yet they, too, are excluded from the justice process. The criminal justice system usually results in simplistic, one-size-fits all sentences that only requires the victim’s input—in many cases—before a parole hearing a quarter of a century later. This practice does little to promote change and healing for either the victims or the offenders. Individuals, relationships, and communities remain broken. Out of the Wilderness seeks to actively include people impacted by crime—victims and their families, offenders and their families, and communities. Its goal is to respect and restore each individual affected by crime, repair broken relationships, and contribute to the common good, by coaching offenders in the process of becoming a new creature, as St. Paul would say. Under this approach, every person counts. Everyone’s needs are to be respected, heard, and understood—in order to achieve true justice.

Justice requires accountability that changes and heals people and relationships. A justice system grounded in respect recognizes the need for accountability, restoration, and healing. This respect comes through listening to and validating the experiences of everyone impacted by crime. The main premise of this approach is the understanding that victims and their communities often experience crime as trauma with post-traumatic implications. Criminal acts disrupt victims’ normal flow of life and throw things out of balance. Personal relationships are no longer the same. Safety and security seem fleeting. One’s beliefs and values are called into question. The effects of crime are long lasting and far-reaching. The crime and its impact can surface days, months, and even years after the crime. Victims may feel emotions associated with crimes as anniversary dates approach. Marriages may end from the resulting stress years after the crime. An individual may lose the ability to fulfill his or her dreams. There is no linear path to direct recovery—meaning, the road to recovery is a winding one; some may pass the same spot more than once. Many victims find their own way to physical and emotional safety. For instance, they replace locks, carry mace or guns, and install burglar bars and security systems. Yet for some, no amount of security gadgets or failsafe assurances can ever make them feel safe again. In some cases, individuals create their own prisons inside their homes, afraid to leave.

Remember, a person who offends has made a choice to commit the crime, but victims had little, if any, control over their lives being disrupted. Victims and their families often feel powerless. There is often an unfathomable void as a result of the crime. How do I get through the rest of my life without my husband? How do I live with the agony of having been cheated out of sharing my son’s life? Sometimes a person is missing—and the whole world seems depopulated or not worth living in. In addition, most crimes leave the victims with questions in their wake. Victims may seek answers for practical questions such as: What happened? Why did it happen? Why me? Where are my belongings? What should I do now?

In other words, crime has the potential to challenge how one understands the world. When faced with a shaken worldview, one may question spiritual beliefs as well as the meaning of life. Seeking answers is a way for victims to regain control and move towards a more meaningful worldview. Venting unresolved feelings help victims to put the criminal act into perspective, and make sense of their new reality. The healing process is challenging to say the least.

Not all offenders are blind to victims’ suffering. For example, a group of men in EXODUS, with long-term sentences, recognized that their past behaviors, including their crimes, caused a lot of pain to victims and their families, their own families, and the community as a whole. They also acknowledged that they share a responsibility to these three groups that incarceration alone had not resolved. In an attempt to repay their debts to all concerned, the men brainstormed and organized life-giving programs that promoted rehabilitation and accountability in a quest to atone for their past misdeeds. This leads us to the issue of accountability.

In the process of being accountable, labels play a crucial role. While establishing and accepting responsibility for an offense, words such as offender and victim must be utilized. Furthermore, I also use labels like prisoner, offender, and inmate, with full knowledge of their implications. For instance, to call oneself an inmate implies that one is part of a rehabilitative institution, whereas a prisoner can define somebody confined in a prison as a punishment for a crime or while waiting to stand trial. These labels and terms have many connotations. Hence, I use these labels, aware of their limitations and true implications.

Nevertheless, I want to acknowledge, that these labels have the potential to dehumanize and lock people into one single identity. As humans, we have the potential to both hurt and to be hurt, to be both victim and offender, convict and prisoner. Hence, all these labels have pitfalls. Still, when they are used to identify only part of a person or a particular act, they do have some value. They provide a way to identify those with a stake in a situation of wrongdoing for example. Moreover, to admit that one is an offender is a step towards accountability.

This approach seeks to promote accountability. In many cases, those who offend are tempted to avoid and defend themselves from the blame and punishment of the court system. They are largely silenced; attorneys often talk on their behalf. Offenders have little opportunity to show regret or anger, lest those feelings ruin a defense. At sentencing, offenders take their punishment and get what they deserve for the most part. This passivity does not promote accountability. The person who offends rarely hears or sees the crime’s full impact. Despite society’s expectations, prisons often create more barriers than opportunities for true rehabilitation and individuals’ accountability. This separation between victim and victimizer breeds blindness to the crime’s harms and circumvents any possible efforts from either the victim(s) or the victimizers at healing and reconciliation.

Furthermore, the prison environment has a psychological negative impact on the prisoner. The separation from society sends the message that the incarcerated are worthless. Even when intending to create responsible community members, prison takes away responsibility through constant control—thus creating dependency and institutionalization. While some incarcerated individuals rise above prison’s negative effects, many others find it hard to soul-search for personal healing without aid, let alone face their crime and accept responsibility for it. Out of the Wilderness works under the premise that offending individuals face the dual responsibility of accountability and personal healing. In this context, accountability is the process of making things right in a way that directly relates to the crime and the people hurt by it. It includes the following:

➢ Admitting one’s choice to commit the crime and accepting that the victim is neither responsible for the crime nor the sentence;

➢ Understanding how crime hurt others and owning up to one’s responsibility for those damages;

➢ Taking steps to make amends when possible to those harmed including society.

Accountability extends also to all other justice participants—victim(s) and their families, offenders’ families, and the community. Accountability requires a full understanding of the crime and its impacts on these participants. This book utilizes different approaches to help the individual to obtain the knowledge necessary to become accountable. There is no one way to gain this understanding. It may come through talking with the victim(s), reading an impact statement, or listening to other victims share their stories. It may come also as part of therapy (i.e., empathy—understanding one’s own experiences of victimization). Accountability, finally means ultimately accepting that one’s punishment is a necessary part in the process of the victims’ healing. This leads us to personal healing. Exploratory questions such as why did I do it? How did I get to this place in my life? What does the crime and sentence mean for my life? These questions help us understand our experiences and promote personal growth. In the process, we are forced to remove the cloak of denial and turn towards our inner true-self.

In sum, it is my hope that through an understanding of the history of the prison system and the negative effects of a criminal lifestyle you will achieve a deeper, more meaningful view and understanding of life and the world around you. You will be able to see and comprehend the rich human experience and interaction, spoken or unspoken, that are combined to present the full tapestry of human experiences in all its complexity in and out of prison. I assure you, you will soon possess knowledge that will lead you into the promised land—a full and rich life-giving life.

Let us get started!

Open your eyes and look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?

Bob Marley’s Exodus, song lyric.

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During your journey—in the wilderness—living with no hope, you find yourself unable to move forward in life. A great wall stands between you and the life you want for yourself where success and happiness are attainable—the promised land.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

The Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Introduction

Let us begin with a story:

Life is a continuous struggle. The struggle is painful and deep. You may think that you are doomed because of your poor choices, wasting away in a prison cell. However, there is always hope. Let me tell you about two frogs who jumped into a bucket of cream on a dairy farm in Upstate New York:

"Might as well give