But I Don't Feel Nothin'

By Marian P. Harrison

The Christian life is what I believe to be a continuous journey, growing spiritually toward perfection; however, maturity only comes from a clear understanding of being truthful of the real person you are. Christians often display sheer hypocrisy, wearing masks to impress others, so the real person never matures. We rely on the opinions of the experts and usually feel that their opinions are the only ones that matter.

I feel were living at a time when many people are hurting inside and have to deal with many unpleasant obstacles while wholeheartedly trying to be that perfect person. I pray that this book will appeal to baby Christians, whether nineteen or ninety. Being a competent toastmaster, Ive spoken in many programs about the hardships of life, and some people have asked me how Ive been able to relate to many issues and speak with such passion. I explained that these issues were my own personal experiences that God has allowed me to learn from and endure. Consequently, after hearing some of my speeches, which were limited, some people have told me that I should write a book, so thats why I decided to put my thoughts in writing.

But I Dont Feel Nothin relates to a few of the various feelings we experience in life, which we must deal with, and it reminds us that life is not always about feeling good. Ive also met many unchurched people who experienced hurtful feelings from church leaders who never explained the Christian life at a level they could comprehend. As a result of unhealthy ways to mask the pain, I believe, many suicides are the result of people feeling empty, useless, no good, unloved, etc. They cant get past the circumstances surrounding cancer, divorce, joblessness, repossession, foreclosure, loneliness, etc., to push past the pain and live more productive lives.

My primary goal is that someone will read this book and understand how to accomplish their specific assignments in life. Moreover, I believe that this book will at least raise an awareness from a laymans perspective to open more dialogue and discussions relating to our feelings. Most people make unsuccessful efforts to please so many other people rather than try to please God and themselves.

Even though professional help is more available today, God is usually left out of the therapy or maybe only casually mentioned, so this can result in dealing with habits that are not easily broken, as some analysts feel they should be. But the analysts themselves usually have never experienced what the patient is dealing with. This book is not to discredit the expertise of our extensively trained psychoanalysts, who I believe have been beneficial to many individuals. Even though Im considering researching actual statistical data to validate some of my suggestions, I feel it would take away from the appeal to the baby Christians and move the book into an arena for more mature Christians to dissect. I believe that this would create more problems and become less attractive. I speak as a layman, with real issues and problems, who only desires to share my nameless relationships to help someone else. Specific names and churches are not mentioned in the book, only my personal issues; and having lived in five different states, attending various churches, I made sure no one will be aware of who my references are.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503567092

Marian P. Harrison

Marian P. Harrison (Williams) is the first of seven children who attended various colleges in North Carolina, Virginia, and DC. She retired from the federal government as a logistician, serving more than twenty of the twenty-seven years in supervisory and managerial positions in various defense department agencies. A few of her church affiliations include being a member of church choirs, alumni choir, president and organizer of three missionary circles, Pastor’s Aide president and secretary, adult Sunday school teacher, pastor’s secretary, Bible study, usher. She is also a nursing home volunteer and also was an after-school tutor, substitute teacher, tax preparer, member of NCNW (National Council of Negro Women), NARFE (National Association of Retired Federal Employees), and Females in Action social club, and competent toastmaster speaker. She received honorable discharge from serving in the US Army Reserves and completed Bible courses from World Bible School and Christian Growth Study Plan. Her favorite pastime is working on sudoku puzzles, writing, and singing.

Book preview

But I Don’t Feel Nothin’

Marian P. Harrison (Williams)

Copyright © 2015 by Marian P. Harrison (Williams).

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015906964

ISBN:      Hardcover                              978-1-5035-6708-5

                Softcover                                978-1-5035-6710-8

                eBook                                     978-1-5035-6709-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Rev. date: 04/30/2015

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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

THE NEW BABE

SPIRITUAL GROWTH

FAMILY LIFE

JOBS

THE CHURCH

CONCLUSION

This book is

dedicated first to my biological family, the late Harden and Marion Perry, who instilled in me many lessons on combining survival with thanksgiving; my spouse, Horace Williams; my siblings, Nancy, Harden Jr., John Henry, Patricia, and Tony. Also, my church families, who supported me in many spoken and unspoken ways with the various struggles life brought me.

Finally, I thank God for allowing me to withstand many storms, trials, and hardships in order that someone else will learn from me the magnitude of His available grace, mercy, and love.

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32).

INTRODUCTION

I’ve often gazed with amazement at the many buildings of worship I’ve noticed over the past years while traveling throughout this country, often two or more edifices per block. Many of these buildings have beautiful steeple-type crosses on top with the word church as a part of their names. Also, while watching various religious television ministries, I’ve seen thousands of people attending—some people appearing to be seasoned, cane-carrying white-haired individuals. I see these people lifting up their hands while tears are flowing down their made-up faces as they try to maintain some form of composure. Not only have I seen this on television, I’ve actually attended religious functions where I couldn’t tell if it was real or hypocrisy.

This is very troubling to me when I continue to hear about so many problems people have to deal with each day. Some of these situations have led to deadly acts of violence, suicide, physical disorders, broken relationships, and so on. Many church members are still silently dealing with addictions related to drugs, alcohol, food, or sex, etc., today. Something is definitely wrong.

This book is written from a layman’s perspective as a simple means of briefly addressing some issues that are continuously brought up by people I daily speak with. I believe that most of these problems are usually associated with some form of feeling. It appears that everyone wants to maintain a constant good feeling and not deal with feelings of hurt, anger, disappointment, or pain, which can potentially result in various unpleasant behavior.

The truth of the matter is that I believe that it’s futile believing a person will never feel pain, but how do you deal with this pain? How do you express to your leaders or counselors in an honest manner the various issues you deal with without being scrutinized, without being told how bad you are for being honest? There are, however, certain counseling services that actually work. That’s good. But is the advice permanent, or does your pain return?

It is my prayer that leaders of churches, families, and prominent organizations reevaluate their teachings related to feelings. Still, this is not to indicate that I’m perfect myself and know all the answers, because I don’t. I simply would like to raise awareness in the treatment of feelings as it relates to spiritual growth.

Another awareness based on my own numerous personal experiences in dealing with feelings. Another awareness based on the fact that there are many real people out there with many real problems, but they are not identified as being real but fictitious. My awareness is not based on any psychological degrees but on sheer common sense and a better understanding of the faithwalk.

My confession is that I believe all problems can be resolved from studying, believing, and acting on the Word of God. This action will require change, which can possibly create fear. This action will require increased wisdom with the same nature Paul dealt with. That’s the same old fleshly desires Paul talked about in Romans chapters 6, 7, and 8, which are still discussed today for their true meaning. Then there was also David who had issues, but these great men of God had to deal with some of the same desires or feelings men deal with today. These changing actions must be done by faith, but how do you deal with this faith then when you don’t feel nothin’?

THE NEW BABE

I would like to begin with a traumatic experience I encountered as a twelve-year-old. One I’ll never forget. It was a Thursday night revival, and I was instructed to go up to the front of this church and sit on the first row when suddenly three other people in white came over and stood in front of me, waving fans. I didn’t know what the fans were for since I wasn’t even sweating. After about fifteen minutes, I closed my eyes