A Heart Like a Child: Believing Without Seeing

By DeAnn Redenius

After December 25, 2007, the Redenius family would never be the same again. Just days before, DeAnn had proclaimed to her husband the frustration she felt about the true meaning of Christmas, which was the birth of Christ. This message seemed to have diminished in importance everywhere she looked, whether it was in a store, an advertisement, or in the songs played on a radio station, Jesus seemed to be taken out of Christmas.

DeAnn reminded herself what Christmas was really aboutwho Jesus really was and why He came to save mankind in the first place. As she made a promise that night to God that she would make sure everyone knew who Jesus was, DeAnn never thought that she would be called out to deliver His message so soon! It was the phone call they received the night of Christmas that would change the lives of the family forever.

DeAnn was later instructed to give her testimony of Jesus Christ in a time of tragedy when her family learned what it truly meant to accept Christs unfailing love and salvation with an indescribable heart of what it truly means to forgive and love one another. Jesus called all to have that Heart like a Child.

This is where DeAnns story begins and endswith the message of believing even when Gods ways cannot be seen or understood. In the midst their trials and sufferings, DeAnn and her family chose to look to God and take refuge, for there was hope for a new day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512720358

DeAnn Redenius

DeAnn Redenius is a mother of three and has been happily married for twenty-nine years. She currently works as a Kindergarten teacher at a Christian school. She finds working with children to be one of the most rewarding jobs she has ever experienced. Although DeAnn had a heart for being a mother first and foremost, she also had a love for teaching children. She felt the closest to God when she was surrounded by children. She believes just as the Scriptures state in Matthew 18:1-5, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven? He called a little child and had him stand among him.” (NIV) DeAnn believed that God had been by her side all throughout her life. Even through the midst of many trials that she had to endure, somehow God helped her get through them all. Yet, on Christmas night of all nights, the Redenius family were faced with a tragedy that most parents would call their worst nightmare. Faced with many tears and sleepless nights, the family wondered if they would be able to pull through and hold onto their faith. How could God allow this to happen? Were we being punished? All kinds of questions ran through their minds. That’s when it happened—seven days after the tragedy of Christmas night, the Lord spoke to DeAnn as she was trying to console her husband, Rod, who had been exhausted from crying. It felt as though all the anger, fear, and self-doubt had left her body in an instant. The Lord gave DeAnn the words to speak, as His words gave them both comfort they both needed to hear. They were both in complete peace at that moment. There was a ray of hope they had both longed for.

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Copyright © 2015 DeAnn Redenius.

-Back cover image: DiRado & Sons Photography

-Cover image/Author photo: Lyndsay Davis

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-2036-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2037-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2035-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015918990

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/3/2015

Contents

About the Author

Introduction

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

A Christmas Blessing from God!

I would like to dedicate this book to our Lord Jesus Christ. Without him, it would not be possible. He has given me the words and the strength to fulfill his purpose. I give him all the glory for inspiring me to write about my life, my precious mother, and my daughter, Cierra.

This book also goes out to the hopeless. I pray you will find the comfort and peace that God has given to me. To those who are hopeful, I pray your faith is more greatly enlightened in God’s love, which is waiting for us all.

And last, to my family, who God has given me to accept with all its faults and to love unconditionally, just as he loved us first. You’ve taught me what it truly means to forgive. I love you all.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because of this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8–9 NIV)

Jehovah Shammah, The Lord is there (Ezekiel 48:35).

The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven? He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. (Matthew 18:1–5 NIV)

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DeAnn Redenius

About the Author

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I pray that you will be active in sharing your faith.

Philemon 1:6 (NIV)

If you stumbled upon this book and it is in your hand right now, it is not by chance. You see—God inspired me to write this book. I believe this book will give you great insight—because of not what I have to say but what God has to say and what he has done through me and my family. Although I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, God had plans for my family and me to have a closer relationship with him. I say this humbly, for it was not an easy call. Tragedy hit our home so quickly that we didn’t even have enough time to figure out what had just happened. We were in shock, disbelief, and the most unbelievable grief one could imagine. With all these emotions, I came to question how all this could happen. After all, we were Christians; this wasn’t supposed to happen to people who believed in God, or so I thought.

When tragedy comes, it will either pull your family together or pull your family apart. A lot of times we’re looking for answers but what we really need is comfort and his love. (Movie, Grace Card, 2010). This was a hard lesson that my husband and I had to learn in the midst of the storm we had to go through. With all trials and tragedy, we can only look back and hopefully see what we have learned from them. God often used suffering throughout the Bible to teach lessons and to strengthen a person’s faith. God has an itinerary for each of us, a course we must run, which is our purpose from God.

So this is where my story begins—a story about the hurt and pain we had to overcome that began all the way back when I was a child. God chose an ordinary person like me to tell it. That’s right—an ordinary person. God could have used someone a lot more suitable, like a Bible scholar, a philosopher—someone with a little bit more education—to carry out his work. After all, I was just a wife and a mother. Not that there was anything wrong with that. I loved being a wife and mother. In fact, I still feel it’s one of the best jobs a woman can have. It’s a gift from God, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

But then I had to stop and think—didn’t God use ordinary people all throughout the Bible? In fact, I believe Moses argued with God that he was not suitable to lead the Jewish people out of Israel. He asked God to consider his brother, Aaron, for he was a much better speaker than Moses was. (See Exodus 4:10–14.) That’s kind of how I viewed myself. Why me, Lord? Then I caught myself thinking, Why should I be questioning him in the first place? It took some time, but eventually I was back on track, seeking God. I wanted answers not only for myself but also for my family so we could have some sort of closure about why all these things happened to us.

It’s been almost seven years since the passing of our daughter, Cierra. Although it’s been a very hard seven years, I want to share how amazing God has been to us through all the pain. For quite some time I’ve wanted to write a book about the unfailing love of Jesus Christ in the midst of suffering here on earth—that is, since God has called me and instructed me to do so. God has spoken to me about writing this book to tell people Jesus lives and wants us to become closer to him. He wants us to purify our hearts and be more fully committed to him. There are lessons to be learned while we are here on this earth, and what we do with them matters. It matters to others, and more importantly, it matters to God.

We had to make a quick decision to continue to serve God or to leave God in the midst of all our trials. I am happy to say we chose to serve God and he chose us to serve him. I believe God called us to strengthen our faith and take us one step closer to him. At the same time, God loves us exactly the way we are but also too much to leave us that way. That’s why he sent these trials and tribulations to shape us to be more like him. No matter how many times we want to give up, he never gives up on us. That is because with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26 NIV).

I would not consider myself a writer—unless you count all the letters, cards, and journals I’ve written since I was a child, which may qualify me as an amateur writer. I do know that I’ve always wanted to be a writer or a teacher. I later became a preschool teacher. I have worked as a teacher for the past twenty years. I also worked in real estate and the time share business for six years. Although I enjoyed working in both fields, I found working with children to be the most rewarding job.

I currently work as a kindergarten teacher at a Christian school. Working with children, I believe, has been my lifelong calling. I cannot explain how much I love children. There is something special about a child’s innocence, which the Lord speaks of. I believe children are the closest thing to heaven because of it. And that is one reason I titled my book A Heart like a Child. I will be sharing with you later how the Lord specifically gave me the name of the book and more about my life and what God has done to bring me where I am today. I hope this will encourage you to take a look at your own life and see the many blessings you already have. My prayer is that this book helps you to grow more spiritually in the Lord. And if you do not know what it is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I pray this book will give you an understanding of who he is and how much he really loves us all. If you have gone through some kind of pain, suffering, or loss, I want you to be able to use the tools God has given me to possibly help heal you and get you through any hardship. As I take you on a journey through my life, you will see that even in the midst of hurt and pain, God was always there. The Lord is there (Ezekiel 48:35 NIV). And if you look closely, you will see we all have a story to share, a story to live by, and a story to learn from. We all have a purpose; we just need to seek God, and he will reveal that purpose to us in his time.

When God gave us the Ten Commandments, he knew it was impossible for us to keep them without breaking them. Jesus spoke of two more commandments. In Matthew 22:36 he states, Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your Heart and with all your soul and with your entire mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like this: Love your neighbor as yourself’ (NIV). Could the purpose for our lives be for us all to love one another just as Christ loves us? No one will know what you mean when you say, God is love, unless you show it!

I hope you find this book it to be a pure blessing and that you increase your faith in Jesus Christ, even through all of life’s ups and downs. If you’re searching for peace or happiness, you will never find it until you surrender your life to him. He will be your comforter and your strength through all trials and tribulations. May God bless you and keep you in his care, as he has done for me—as he has done for my family.

Love,

DeAnn

Introduction

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We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.

Romans 15:1 (NIV)

I thought I’d take my fifteen-minute break from teaching preschool and take my regular walk. I told myself it was my time to fit in a little exercise for the day, but who was I kidding? It was my quiet time with my daughter and with the Lord. I found myself counting the days, months, and years of how long she had been gone. Trying to fight back the tears, I still couldn’t believe she was gone and that I could actually function each day without her. My eyes would search along the dirt path, looking for special heart-shaped rocks. (The heart rocks were a sign between Cierra and me. We would also leave each other coins. It was her way of letting me know she was with me.) Before I knew it, the perfect-shaped heart rock was right before me. Slowly picking up the rock, I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew she was with me. As usual, I thanked her out loud, hoping no one could hear me. They might think I was crazy for talking to myself. Then I would just shrug it off. Did I really care about what other people thought? This was my time with my precious daughter.

I spoke to her, telling her how much I missed her and how much I loved her. I would even tell her things like, I hope you know I tried to be the best mother I could be to you. I believed she knew that. I treasured the fact that I did not have any doubt about being the kind of mother a daughter should have. I knew I had done a good job, despite her having to go and be with Jesus. Asking her these questions, I guess, was just a way of reassuring myself.

After speaking with Cierra, my conversation would always shift to speaking to God. I did not want to leave him out of the conversation. After all, I knew it was God who was allowing me to have the conversation with her in the first place. I always thanked God for allowing me to have conversations with her. I would often ask questions like, Why do you allow me to have these conversations with her? Could it be because of my faith? For some reason, I believed down deep inside that my faith was the reason. I would also acknowledge that my conversations and heart rocks were from the Holy Spirit. I believe when God spoke in the Bible about sending a Comforter for all those who mourn (Matthew 5:4 NIV), he meant our loved ones who have passed on and the Holy Spirit.

As I continued my walk, I heard the Lord speak to me. I cannot quite explain it, yet I did hear his voice. It was more like a voice deep within my soul. He said, "DeAnn, I want you to write a book about your life! I want you to call it A Heart like a Child." He told me why. He reminded me of my youth and how he had always been there. He said he wanted me to share this life of mine to help others.

I was so excited. I immediately said, Okay! Yes, Lord, I will do it! It will be a blessing to others. I was confident I could do the job he was asking. At that point, I walked even faster, due to the excitement and also realizing that my break was just about over.

As I returned to my class, I thought about my conversation with God. I was very excited about the thought of sharing my story and the possibility of encouraging others. By doing this, I hoped they would reflect on their own lives and see that they too had a story. Each of us is writing a story with our life—one that affects others, now and in the future. Are we living to please God? I asked myself. We don’t know when the Lord will call us home, so we must live each and every day as if it were our last. (Live for today, learn from yesterday, and hope for tomorrow.)

After work, I rushed home to tell my husband, Rod, the good news.

"Guess what, Rod? God visited me today, and he wants me to write a book! He even gave me the title of the book—A Heart like a Child!" I said.

Wow, I think that’s great! I know it will touch many people’s lives. Look at everything you have had to overcome. I know it will be successful! he said.

You think so? I was very happy that Rod was just as excited as I was about the book. I was on a mission to complete a task the Lord had personally asked me to do.

And that’s when the inevitable happened. As I lay in my bed that night, getting ready to say my prayers, I was going over everything in my head and the words the Lord had spoken to me earlier that day. And before I knew it, all my insecurities, fears, and doubts came flooding in like rushing water. (The Enemy had made his way through!)

Who do you think you are? Do you think you are so special that God would have chosen you to write about your life? How could you accept such an offer? You are not worthy!

I am so sorry, Lord! I guess it’s like me to think I have something to offer. I’ve always been the type of person who thinks I can fix anything, that I could change the world! Yet I really know I can do nothing without you!

I questioned why God chose me. After all, I was imperfect, and I knew I was a sinner just like everyone else. But then I was quickly reminded of my thoughts of not being worthy, of being a failure, being useless. I remembered God’s unconditional and never-ending love for us all. His steady devotion is our refuge in our lives of self-doubt and fear. He wasn’t looking for perfection. He wasn’t looking for someone who has never sinned, for God already knew no one would fit that criteria. He was looking for someone who was willing to be obedient and carry out his will. God saw something in me that I could not see in myself. He saw my heart! God’s focus is on the inner lives of people. He looks far below the surface of someone’s appearance.

But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’ (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV). And that’s what he desires for us to do as well. God reassured me that he had been with me throughout my life. He had seen all the ups and downs, the hurt and the pain. He carried me through them all. He called me for a purpose to serve him—to fulfill that specific purpose.

I felt a rush of embarrassment come over me when the Lord told me, Yes, you are writing a story about your life, but that life was given by me, so it’s not really about you, DeAnn; it’s about me!

Once I realized that I had been putting so much emphasis on myself, I was able to relax and realize the focus was no longer on me but God, and I felt more confident to do the task at hand. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13 NIV).

I was happy to give all the glory to God, for he is worthy. I understood that God was using me as an instrument to bring others to him. I would like to live a life of influence, to be brave and bold, and to touch the lives of others, pointing them to you. Fill me with the Holy Spirit and with your power, I prayed.

We are all sinners, and one day we will be washed clean. That day will come when we are finally home with our Lord Jesus Christ. It made me think of a Bible story in the Old Testament (2 Kings 5:1–15 NIV). The story is of a man named Naaman, a high-ranking commander, who had leprosy. God used a young servant girl who was taken captive from Israel, who told Naaman’s wife that a prophet named Elisha from Samaria could heal Naaman. Elisha’s instructions to bathe in the Jordan River angered Naaman, yet his servants urged him to follow the prophet’s orders: Wash and be clean. So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan River. His flesh was restored, like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean. He returned to the man of God and stood before him. He said, Indeed, now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Israel. The result was Naaman’s restoration to health, and he became a believer in Christ!

We too are a lot like Naaman. We may think there’s a better way to do things or another way to handle a situation, but if we would just trust in God and let him lead the way, instead of ourselves, we would see that God is the one who is in control. Just as God used