Lashes One

By Tylene White

Jessica Clay born in urban America during the baby boom era and from
her early childhood and onward she experiences heart wrenching, mind
riveting, jaw drop events in her life. Jessica Clay will take her reader
down a journey that they will never forget, and she herself will be given
no other alternative but to make a constant decision on whether she will
love or hate; live or die because the one person that she should trust
most will be the reason why.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 24, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479708765

Book preview

Copyright © 2012 by Tylene White.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2012915923

ISBN:      Hardcover           978-1-4797-0875-8

                Softcover            978-1-4797-0874-1

           eBook                 978-1-4797-0876-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 02/23/2015

Xlibris

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

This book is

dedicated to my son Theus, who has always been on my side and encouraged me. Also, I dedicate this book in loving memory of my mother Delores White.

INTRODUCTION

My sleep was so peaceful… . Thank God! . . . once more, I am spared from the horrible reoccurring dream of the sapphire blue tidal wave of the sea. In the first minutes of this dream, I look out over the sea, as I stood on top of the huge cold black rock, with a feeling of fear and helplessness that overwhelm me. However, although I was so very afraid, I found the courage to turn myself around slowly; being very careful to keep my balance on top of the slippery rock that sat above the surface of the sea, in desperate search to find a way of escape off of the huge black rock as the wind then begin to blow furiously. This reoccurring dream never change in detail and I knew that once the wind begin to blow, it will be only seconds before the huge tidal wave will appear and overtake me.

The sound of the wind frighten me as it begin to blow furiously and the sky change from blueish gray, to a red hue, as the clouds move slowly across the sky. At my right, at a far distance across the sea, there was a Lighthouse. The Lighthouse rock itself from left to right and appear as if the sea was its foundation. A loud bell begin to ring; but its sound soon became barely audible because the furious gust of wind begin to blow, as the waves from the sea begin to violently beat against the rock where I stood. At that moment, a large wave from the sea came onto the rock and cover over my bare feet; which send a cold chill through my body. I then begin to became full of distress in my search for something that I could get onto which would take me away from the huge rock where I stood; but to my dismay, my search was futile because I could not find anything that would serve as a lifeboat to take me away from the pending danger that I will soon face.

I felt so helpless, alone and annoyed that I could not find anyone who could rescue me as the wind build up in momentum; and was my final warning that danger was fast approaching. At that moment, I noticed that I wore a crimson red dress, which clung to my skin, as my midnight black hair blew back at the wind command. The tidal wave raise itself before me and stood up as though it were touching the sky. It had an odd shape curl at the top of it, which gave me the impression that it could see me and knew that it had the ability to cause me to fear, and confident that I was powerless against it. The tidal wave then pauses for a few seconds, in midair, before it rush toward me and overtook me with its force and power. I stood upright, and firmly, on top of the black rock as the tidal wave cover over my body and it was then that the dream was over. I’d awaken from this dream with my heart racing fast within my chest and drench in sweat finding it hard to believe that what I had just experience was only a dream.

It took me several minutes before I could bring myself under control and calm down. I’d lay in bed and go over in my mind every detail of this dream, and each time I resolve in my mind that I will have to learn to accept that I will have the reoccurring dream and find a way to make myself wake up before the tidal wave overtook me. In time I had become stronger and less fearful of this reoccurring dream but I question myself of when will the time come that this dream will stop haunting me, and what was this dream trying to tell me. Although I did not have the answer to my questions, I yet hope that one day I will discover why I often had this dream of the tidal wave and the raging sea; but I hadn’t entertain the thought that the dream was my warning of the life that I would live, and which would begin, at a very early age.

CHAPTER ONE

Terrance came to my bedside and he begins to push me with his hand on my left shoulder as I lay asleep. He was just in time because I was once again having the terrible dream of the raging sea and the tidal wave was just about to overtake me, I struggle within myself to awaken before it did.

Terrance softly calls my name over and over and when I open my eyes, I did not immediately look at Terrance as I felt the weight of his body take a seat next to me on my bed. Although I could sense that Terrance was looking at me, I look over to the bedroom window and I admire the yellow nylon curtains that gently sway back and forth from the cool breeze that pass through them from the open window.

I pull the plaid red, blue, and yellow wool blanket up to my neck, with my hands, to shield myself from the chill that the open window left in the room. My eyes then move to the brilliant white wall that was facing the foot of my bed, and I found it interesting that the wall had a rough texture that rose slightly out from it; but even more interesting to me was that I couldn’t find one spot of dirt on that wall.

Terrance continue to push hard with his hand against my shoulder, and as the seconds pass, his hand push at my shoulder as though he were irritated that I had not given him any attention since he had come to my bedside.

Terrance then move his face closer to mine and I could feel his warm breath against the left side of my face as he whispered: Jessica, Jessica, are you awake? Wake up.

My eyes move away from the brilliant white wall to Terrance, but I did not respond to him right away because I wanted to study the perfect outline of Terrance face. I took notice of Terrance smooth and flawless skin; his eyelashes were full and curl perfectly upward toward his thick dark eyebrows which was a complement to his beautiful cold black eyes; his hair had apparently not been comb, and look like a cascade of soft silky curls in dis-array that flirted with his forehead and temples of his head.

I felt so proud that Terrance is my brother, and I wondered if Terrance ever took a look at himself in the mirror because he would surely see how handsome that he is. There was not anything that Terrance need to change about himself; except that he needs to gain a little weight. I smile to myself to think of how the girls will go crazy over Terrance when he grew up. Maybe since Terrance is my brother, I will make a lot of friends because I am his sister, I thought.

With apparent annoyance, Terrance abruptly stood up, look down at me, and with a sneaky smirk on his face, he ask me if I want to drink some chocolate milk. I look up at him and nod my head up and down to indicate yes. Terrance stood up, with a slight smile on his face, and he then walk to the doorway of our bedroom. Terrance turn his head to look back at me before he gestured with his hand for me to follow him as he walk through the open doorway in the direction of the kitchen.

I quickly arose from my bed and begin to run toward the kitchen to where Terrance had already arrive. He had an anxious look on his face, with his left hand position down into the left front pocket of the dark trousers that he wore.

Suddenly fear struck me like a bolt of lightning as I imagine that my mother Pricella was standing in her doorway watching the two of us; just waiting for Terrance, and I, to do the wrong thing in her house. I look behind me and the fear I felt was prove wrong because Pricella, nor her boyfriend, James Taylor were anywhere in sight. Relieved that Terrance and I were not being watch by my mother, or her boyfriend, I continue to run on tiptoe into the kitchen as I could hear the air whistle in my ears.

The instant I arrive in the kitchen, Terrance didn’t hesitate to tell me, with a stern, anxious but low voice, that he was angry with me that I was moving too slow. Terrance voice strained to remain barely above a whisper as he went on to tell me how important it is that we hurry up and get the milk before James and Pricella awake. Terrance assure me that we will get away with drinking the milk because he plan to fill the carton of chocolate milk back up with water that we had drink from, and Pricella, nor James, will ever know what we had done.

I smile at Terrance brilliant, and perfect plan, and I was even more encourage to participate with him to drink some chocolate milk. However, my next thought was the wish that I had money so that I can buy anything that I want to eat, drink, wear or play with, and it made me sad to feel that my mother thought more of her furniture than she did me. I had to ask permission for anything that I wanted in my mother house, and most of the time, I was given the answer of no to my request. Therefore, I learn to really enjoy whatever I was given me by my mother, and appreciate every opportunity that I had the permission to go into areas of my mother’s house that was considered generally as off limit to her children.

Terrance look down the hallway, that lead to my mother bedroom, and I speculated that it was to see if Pricella, or James, were watching us before he went over to the refrigerator, and pull down the large silver latch on its door. As the refrigerator door open, my heart begins to pound fast within my chest which cause me to move my bare feet across the dark brown kitchen tile to calm my nerves. The residual of white powder from the kitchen cleanser, my mother had put on the floor, begin to cake up on the bottom of my bare feet.

It did not make sense to me why my mother would take the large green, white, and red metallic can of cleanser, sprinkle it all over the floor, and then she use a wet mop, smear it on top of the cleanser that she had put onto the floor and leave it to dry.

After a long while, she rinsed the dried up cleanser off the floor with steaming hot water that she used in her plastic blue bucket. It amaze me even more that my mother could easily put her bare hand to the hot mop that she dip into the steaming hot bucket of water.

I was glad that she didn’t demand that I do the same when she made me scrub the floor; but from the look of the red inflamed broken skin on my knees, from scrubbing the floor with bleach water, and a rag, mindful to also have a toothbrush that my mother use to clean the corner of the tile floor, it may have been better to use the steaming hot water, I thought.

My mind shift back to what Terrance and I were doing in our mother’s kitchen, early in the morning with the only sound around us was the constant hum of the refrigerator that sat in the corner of the small kitchen.

Terrance reach into the refrigerator and he took out the half pint carton of chocolate milk from the top shelf. He then put a small incision, with his fingernail, at the top of the milk carton, before he raise the carton of milk to his mouth and begin to drink from it.

As I watch Terrance drink the chocolate milk, I notice that his body is frail, and willowy in posture, and he didn’t seem to have the ability to stand erect. I do need to try to get Terrance to stand up straight, and gain some weight because even though he is cute, the girl’s may not like him because he is too skinny, I thought.

After Terrance took several swallows of the chocolate milk, he removes the carton from his lips, he stare at it for a couple of seconds. With a look of great satisfaction and delight on his face before he gave me the chocolate milk carton and his facial expression then instantly change to look anxious and fearful.

I gently took the carton of milk from Terrance hand, and I immediately notice that the carton of chocolate milk was very cold with a picture of a cow drawn on the side of it, and the word Diary Cow written below it.

I felt thrill to have this new knowledge as I proceed to place my lips exactly where Terrance had place his lips, and I begin to drink the chocolate milk. I found however that it was difficult for me to get the milk out from the tiny incision Terrance had made in the top of the milk carton, no matter how hard that I try.

Within seconds, Terrance grab the carton of milk away from me, and he gave me one of his many facet serious stares to indicate his annoyance with me.

Terrance begins to drink from the chocolate milk carton as his eyes remain on me, and when he stop drinking from the milk carton, Terrance, in a whispered voice, told me that he felt that James and Pricella are unfair and mean to us without any good reason.

With an assured look on his face, Terrance vow to get out of our mother’s house when he is old enough and that he will never come back to her house as long as he live. I wait to see if Terrance will tell me that I will always be a part of his life; but he did not.

It broke my heart that Terrance will not think to include me in his life because I certainly felt very close to him; but, I conclude in my mind, that he did not feel the same way toward me as I forced a pleasant look onto my face.

Terrance then look down to the floor, for a few seconds, before he walk from the kitchen window to where we had move to after Terrance took the carton of chocolate milk from the refrigerator. Terrance walks slowly over to the kitchen sink, turn on the water faucet to allow only a thin stream of water to flow from it. I begin to feel panic when I heard the noise of the water come out of the faucet which made a rattling noise as it flow out of it and into the small incision Terrance had place in the chocolate milk carton.

Oh God, please don’t let the water make so much noise that it will wake up my mother; or, even worse, her boyfriend James Taylor. It was James who brought the chocolate milk into the house the day before, and I knew that if he found out we had drink his chocolate milk, either my mother, or he, will beat us for it.

As the stream of water flow out of the kitchen faucet, into the incision Terrance had made in the chocolate milk carton, with his fingernail, Terrance periodically would remove the milk carton from the stream of water, that flow from the faucet, and then he’d shake the carton gently with his hand and take a sip of the chocolate milk.

After a few times of this procedure, Terrance turn the water faucet off and said to me in a whisper voice that they will not know what he did to the chocolate milk, with a look of confidence on his face, but I wasn’t as confident as he. Terrance then turn the faucet off slowly and begin to tiptoe over to the refrigerator. I had not ever saw Terrance walk on tiptoe before, and maybe Terrance and I have a connection after all, I thought.

The refrigerator was not completely closed after Terrance had initially opened it to get the chocolate milk out. I knew that Terrance didn’t bother to close the refrigerator door because the door will make a loud click sound which could be loud enough for my mother or her boyfriend to hear if they were awake.

Terrance place the carton of chocolate milk into the refrigerator in the exact place that he had taken it from, and he carefully adjust the chocolate milk carton on the top shelf until he was satisfied that he had it position exactly the way it was before he had remove it. Terrance then grab the silver latch of the refrigerator door, and slowly close its door. Upon releasing the silver latch, I could hear the click sound which made me nervous because I fear that my mother will hear it too. Once the refrigerator door close, I could feel the cold that radiated out into the small kitchen and it sent a chill all over me as I only wore a thin white cotton slip.

I want to get back into bed, I thought, as I rub my hands down my arms to comfort me from the cold that I felt in the air. I then begin to lift each of my feet up and rub them against the inner part of each of my legs to try and remove the rest of the cake up cleanser from the bottom of my feet.

I stood and wait for Terrance to give me instruction on what I should do next; but, I notice Terrance look of confidence slightly faded, as he in a whispered voice told me, while he point with his right finger, in the direction of our bedroom which indicate to me that I am to return back to bed.

As Terrance direct me, I ran back to the bedroom that I share with Terrance and Phylicia, and I jump knee first into the twin size bed, follow by rubbing my feet together to remove the remainder of the cake up cleanser from the bottom of my feet.

The bedroom felt cold because my mother had opened the window the night before. I wish that I could just close the window; but, I had to get permission from my mother to do so. I dare not go to my mother’s room and ask her can I close the window, I thought, because I just knew that she will get angry with me for disturbing her time that she was spending with James.

My teeth begin to chatter together, and nor could I get comfortable, or warm, in my bed because of the cold in the room. Instantly, I remember the thin plaid blanket that must of fell to the floor at the foot of the bed and I had to get it in a hurry, I thought.

I counted in my head up to three and jump up quickly to grab it off of the floor. That’s better, I thought, after I position my body in a curl position, while I tuck the blanket in on both sides of my body to prevent the cold air from seeping in to the warm space I created from my body heat.

As my mind drift into thought, I question where Terrance was at and why he hasn’t return to the bedroom that we share together. I listen to hear if Terrance can be heard moving about in the apartment; but, the only sound that could be heard was the wind as it blew through the window of my bedroom.

I decide to not get out of the bed to go and find where Terrance was at, in the apartment, and I knew that Terrance will soon come back to the bedroom when he was ready to do so.

My heart begin to pound fast, within my chest, from fear that if James found out that we had drink his chocolate milk, Terrance and I were going to get a whipping from him. My regret for drinking the chocolate milk kept building in my mind that I thought that my head will explode. I just need to not think about it and try to go back to sleep. Maybe Terrance was right, James will not know that we drink out of the chocolate milk carton. I console myself with the thought that I was worrying for no good reason, which help me to drift off to sleep. The time that I spent asleep is unknown; and this time, I didn’t have a dream at all, to my relief.

The smell of bacon drift into my bedroom as I awake from my dreamless state, and as I lay in my bed with appreciation for the aroma of it, I could hear my mother, who was in the kitchen, periodically talk to James; but, I could not make out what it was that she was saying to him.

I then look over from my bed, to the twin bed that was near mine, and saw that Phylicia was not in her bed. She was there before I went to sleep, my mother must of come into the room and take her out of the bed because Phylicia cannot walk, I thought.

I could not figure out what my mother had done to herself to cause Phylicia to be born quadriplegic and need a wheelchair. My mother did not give me a clear explanation when she did talk to me about Phylicia health condition on one occasion. But, I vow that I will always try to protect Phylicia as long as I live.

My stomach begin to growl, and I knew that if I continue to lay in bed daydreaming, I will left out when breakfast is served, as I had learn so many times in the past. This thought hurt me because it convinced me that my mother didn’t care, or love me, at all.

I wish that my mother will tell me just once that she love me as I saw that she did with James and my stepbrother Sylvester. I could not figure out what Terrance, Phylicia and I had done to her that cause her to not show affection or real concern for us.

However, I felt happy to live in a home that is always clean, well-organized and odor free; except for the strong cleaning solutions, and food that my mother would prepare, especially when James was around.

My mother is a good cook. She didn’t need to use a measure cup as I saw the lady on television do; nor did she add very much seasoning to her foods; but, yet everything that she prepare to eat was delicious and look wonderful to the eye. I admire my mother cooking ability and hope that I too will possess the same ability to cook as good as she did. However, one thing that I knew for sure was that I will never be mean or cruel to my children, and I will always be kind, loving and protect them; even if