Embracing the Teardrops: A Simple, Step-By-Step Guide to Planning a Funeral That Is Dignified, Memorable, and Affordable

By Patricia Myers

Embracing the Teardrops: A Simple, Step-by-Step Guide to Planning
a Funeral That Is Dignified, Memorable, and Affordable guides the
reader through one of lifes most difficult experiences: handling the death,
final arrangements, and funeral of a loved one. This clear, concise, and
compact book provides valuable advice on such vitally important topics as
handling essential paperwork, meeting with a funeral director, choosing
the type and location of the funeral service, and arranging transportation
if death occurs far from home. If you arent sure what to do or where to
turn after the passing of a loved one, this handy little guidebook will tell
you everything you need to know, not just immediately following the
death, but in the weeks and months beyond.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462872350

Patricia Myers

Patricia Myers worked in banking, telecommunications, and corporate relations for a Fortune 50 company, writing award-winning annual reports and speeches. She has traveled to forty countries, living and working abroad for a decade. Following those experiences, she began researching countries to share stories with her grandchildren, allowing them to learn about many wonderful places. She currently lives in Dallas, Texas. For more information about this book, email the author at: [e-mail]

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Patricia Myers.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011910711

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4628-7234-3

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4628-7233-6

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4628-7235-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

97822

Contents

Forward

Introduction

Chapter One When Death Happens

Chapter Two Handling Essential Paperwork

Chapter Three Meeting With The Funeral Director

Chapter Four Types Of Funeral Services

Chapter Five Locations For Funeral Services

Chapter Six Preparing The Deceased

Chapter Seven The Casket And Vault

Chapter Eight Before, During, And After The Funeral Service

Chapter Nine Domestic And International Shipping

Chapter Ten Final Disposition

Chapter Eleven Planning Your Own Funeral

Appendix One Checklist

Appendix Two Most Frequently Asked Questions

Appendix Three Glossary

Appendix Four List Of Recommended Websites And Other Resources

Dedication

Affectionately dedicated to my deceased grandparents, Reverend Clarence and Viola Myers, the foundation that helped shape my life. To my deceased father, David, who supported me in my funeral-directing career.

This book is also dedicated to my daughter, Tiffany, who looks up to me as her role model. She has been a steadfast supporter and my biggest fan who keeps telling me, in the stillness of our home when there is no one else around, Mommy, you can do it. Hearing that from her and getting a Hershey-wrapped hug gives me such a burst of energy to keep writing. Tiffany, I do thank you for understanding and supporting me wholeheartedly while working toward your degree.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I wish to express my deepest appreciation to my daughter, Tiffany; my mother, Allinda; my brothers Jerome, Freddie, and Rodney; my aunt Annie, and my cousins Diane, Kevin, Debbie, Martha, and Lillian for their constant support and encouragement.

To my writing coach, Lisa Tener, for her infusion of energy in coaching me on how to write a book in eight weeks, even though it took me a little longer.

To my editor, Elizabeth Ridley, for reviewing my manuscript and helping me to structure this book in the step-by-step process to help readers clearly understand the processes involved in planning for the inevitable.

To my unselfish friends: Sandra, Alexis, Juanita, Mary, and Eve-lyn. Thank you for accepting my calls late at night and allowing me to share my thoughts at weird hours of the morning. Thanks for dreaming with me.

To James H. Alston—thank you for allowing me to serve your company for more than twenty years. The growth, knowledge, and experience have greatly enriched my life. I am now ready to spread the wealth of knowledge to others.

To the staff, and especially the funeral directors, of McCall’s Bronxwood Funeral Home; Shawn, Eli, Anthony, and Joe—you are the greatest. As we perform our daily duties in serving the bereaved, we experience the challenges that families go through at the most difficult times of their lives—the loss of a loved one. You, along with the families I’ve served, have inspired me to write this book to help make it easier for both the families and funeral directors. The more prepared a family is, the more prepared you are to give the best service.

What People Are Saying About Embracing The Teardrops

This helpful guide to planning a funeral uses clear and sensitive language to steer an individual through the complexities of making arrangements. Openly acknowledging that fear of the unknown if often present. Myers includes many important topics in an easy to read format that will reduce anxiety. This brief booklet will help anyone who reads it to be able to plan a funeral without unnecessary uncertainty and dread.

(The Rev.) Paul A. Metzler, D. Min.

Director, Community and Program Services

Visiting Nurse Service of New York

The volume and quality of this intellectual work is breathtaking . . . finally there is a book that prepares us all for the inevitable. Death is in our future. But after death, what? This book will start the conversation. This is a literary north star that will guide us through the long midnight of dealing with the depth of a loved one’s and our own death.

Embracing the Teardrops should be required reading for Funeral Directors, Lawyers, Nursing Homes Administrators, Executors of Wills, and all of us with the responsibility of taking care of our loved ones before and after death.

Pat, we thank you for sharing with us your years of experience in helping families in their most difficult hour.

Bravo!

The Rev Canon Franklin Reid (Episcopal Priest)

Pat

Congratulations on having the vision, fortitude and sincere passion to commit to the pages of this book your years of experience as a Funeral Professional. Yes sorrow overcomes everyone faced with making the choices presented by death of a loved one. But foreknowledge and preparation go a long way towards making these natural transitions less foreboding for everyone involved.

Your experience has enabled you to create what might just become the basic primer for community, religious and health professionals who either interface with families immediately upon death, or to whom families look for advice when they feel death is imminent.

The book is thorough. It answers both basic and probing questions; and has a common sense approach to identifying the things one needs to know and ought to do even in preparation for one’s own death.

It should make the funeral directors job easier.

Please make sure I get one of the early copies autographed by the author.

James H. Alston, CEO

McCalls Bronxwood Funeral Home

One is not far into this book without realizing that the writer is no novice dealing in petty theories and worn cliché about death and the work of the funeral director.

This is solid stuff from the mind and heart of Myers. Embracing the Teardrops is a must read for all who have face the loss of a loved one and will surely be facing again. This book will help guide you through some of the tasks families have to deal with following a death of a loved one.

Rev. Dr. Calvin E. Owens

Community Protestant Church

Finally a book has been written that can be utilized, as a reference by families who are faced with the ominous task of taking care of their deceased loved one. There are so many choices that must be made in a very short period of time. This easy to read guide may be used to lead families step by step through the plethora of decisions and answer the most common questions associated with planning final rites for the recently deceased. It also gives one insight on subjects related to end of life such as insurance, wills, prearranged funerals and hospice care. As Pat points out, most of us procrastinate and do not have a plan for our own ends. However, proper planning will save money in the long run and prevent chaos usually associated with an unplanned death.

Let me congratulate Pat on yet another contribution to the funeral industry, a guide written by a experienced funeral professional that gives our families a tool that will prepare them for the arrangement conference!

John B. Houston

Cushnie—Houston Funeral Home

Thank you for preparing such a thoughtful and inclusive book that walks each of us through the steps necessary upon the death of a loved one.

This booklet is complete, sensitive, compassionate and very much needed. It takes the mystery out of the process; and it allows us to understand the realities we need to face and helps us to make informed decisions. Death and dying are indeed part of the LIFE PROCESS……we in America tend to avoid any talk of this issue and thus when faced with the reality we are often ill prepared. Patricia Myers walks with us…………….helping us to intelligently, unemotionally and with faith to Embrace the Teardrops. Thank you for this excellent publication…..it has blessed my life and I know it will bless others.

Rev. Gregory L. Johnson

Inter-Faith Minister for Family Caregiving

EmblemHealth

FORWARD

Embracing the Teardrops

As a black pastor