The Chimney Sisters: A Novel By

By Joyce Williams and Saundra Ours

The Chimney Sisters is a hilarious comedy about four sisters from West Virginia. The interest of the reader is captured by the antics of CiCi, Julie, Sally, and Diana who left the family farm and are forced by lifes circumstances to return to their roots in the country.
As the story begins the reader sees Julie and CiCi trying to survive after they lose their lifes savings to two gigolos. Then Julie remembers her gigolo ex-boyfriend told her where he would hide his money from his ex-wife and the IRS.
They are able to buy back the family farm and get their Momma out of the rest home where she was placed when she became ill with Alzheimers Disease.
Their lives should be perfect now, but they discover their childhoods are rooted in a grossly dysfunctional family. Some families have skeletons in their closets, but the sisters discover their family skeletons are buried in the old well behind the farmhouse.
Their chore is to keep family secrets buried and to hold onto their recovered fortunes.
The book is an easy read for anyone who can stop laughing long enough to finish it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 17, 2008
• ISBN: 9781462832002

Joyce Williams

Joyce Williams and Saundra Ours, the authors, have lived and worked in West Virginia all their lives. The Sisters decided they would start a new career since they needed it to supplement their retirement income and build college funds for their fifteen grandchildren. Their first novel, The Chimney Sisters, is a new beginning for them. They hope to write a sequel.

Book preview

Prologue

Summer nights in West Virginia were breathtakingly beautiful to the four girls. They sat watching a field of fireflies flicker on and off, like the lights of a giant Christmas tree. They were the pictures of innocence sitting on the front porch with their Mother. Waiting on Dad to arrive in the evening had become a ritual. Momma wept softly as she bounced four year old Diana on her knee.

I don’t know why he has to be out so late, Momma sobbed.

Julie, the oldest, remained silent, she knew that wherever Daddy was it was a happy, fun place, all lit up like that field of fireflies.

CiCi, just fourteen months younger than Julie, had come to accept Mamma’s sadness. She let her mind escape to the idea of capturing millions of those fireflies in a fruit jar, so she could later admire the yellow gems lighting up her bedroom.

Sally sat at Momma’s feet looking like a small black haired porcelain doll with large dark eyes. Her tiny bare feet were showing from underneath the skirt of her print polka dotted dress. She was five years old now and had already learned how to gain both parents’favor by blinking her long eyelashes. She had learned the value of money since Daddy always gave her all the change out of his pockets when he came home. She was too young to care if Momma was crying and too anxious to get the rest of Daddy’s money.

When Daddy fiinally arrived, he would come up the stairs smelling of cigarettes, beer and Old Spice.

Just like a man should smell, thought Julie, as she watched Momma’s reaction to see if she was going to fling accusations at Daddy and cause a fight. A smile crept over Momma’s lips and Julie knew this night at least would be a calm night.

Sally held out her fat little hand to receive daddy’s pennies. She batted her long black lashes and Daddy picked her up to carry her into the house.

CiCi and Julie craved that kind of attention, but they were happy Daddy was home and there would not be a fiight tonight. Momma never reacted the same way twice every time Dad came home late. They could sleep in peace tonight.

This became the norm at the McGill household, but Julie and CiCi decided that night they wanted to see those bright lights in town and find out why it was so much fun to drink beer and dance all night long. Momma kept a tight rein on the girls and lectured them often about the evils of sin, especially strong drink.

Julie and CiCi slipped into bed between fresh sun dried sheets.

Julie, CiCi whispered, Tomorrow we gotta find out what a cigarette tastes like. All we gotta do is sneak one when Dad leaves them on the breakfast table in the morning.

Ok, agreed Julie.

Their next day was planned.

The morning found them running to the woods to sample some real sin. If Momma had been alert, she would’ve seen smoke signals rising out of the trees.

Their lives were turned upside down on a cold November day when Momma told them that Daddy had left for good and he wouldn’t be coming back home.

If Daddy left for good, why didn’t he take all his clothes? Julie questioned.

He said he would get new ones, Momma explained and told them not to worry about it.

Little Sally, began to cry and Momma told her in a stern voice to hush up and not shed another tear.

CiCi and Julie choked back their tears and swallowed the lumps in their throats. They knew when Momma said not to cry, she meant exactly that.

The girls could remember Dad’s smile when he would return home from the coal mine. His face and hands, darkened with the thick black coal dust, would be black as pitch. He would saunter up the back steps and flash a wide smile at them. His teeth looked white as pearls except for the gold cap on top. He had a dentist insert the cap when he broke a tooth years before. His eyes seemed to dance and sparkled like two huge diamonds hidden in the dark coal dust on his face. Hi kids, he would say, as he removed his hardhat, mud encrusted coveralls and boots on the back porch so he wouldn’t soil Momma’s clean kitchen floor. He would hand them his lunch bucket so they would discover a left over candy bar or piece of cake he had left for them.

Dad’s clothes remained hanging in the bedroom closet for years. Julie and CiCi would sneak into Mom and Dad’s bedroom to get a whiff of the fragrance of Old Spice still hanging onto his clothes. Both sisters would sometimes sit on the floor of the closet just inhaling that aroma as if to breathe in Daddy himself.

After Daddy left, Momma didn’t laugh much, or cry either. She worked cleaning people’s houses, washing clothes for a mere pittance and raising chickens and a garden so there would be enough food in the house.

The cellar house was filled top to bottom with canned goods. Blackberries, peaches, green beans, and all the vegetables from the garden sat on the shelves in rows, which were perfectly organized. Momma was particular about her cellar house and no one was to disorganize the rows. The girls were ordered to set the jars forward in any row from which they had removed a jar.

Momma had her ideas about how things should be done and if the girls didn’t remember to follow her plan of action, she would remind them that they were not going to amount to a hill of beans. Life would show them.

The year was 1969 and Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I’ve got love in my Tummy was blasting from the radio when Momma walked into the room. What are you girls listening to? She screamed. I will not have you listening to such filth and while we’re discussing this, if I hear of you girls listening to that hip twisting, butt grinding Elvis Presley, you’re both grounded for a month.

What’s so bad about this song, Momma? CiCi inquired.

Julie had an idea that Momma was referring to something sexual, but how could it be so bad, since Momma had love in her tummy at least five times.

Don’t talk back to me CiCi, Momma said as she took CiCi by the shoulders and shook her violently. Get in there and do the supper dishes, both of you.

Momma forgot to confiscate a small transistor radio, which the girls received for Christmas.

After chores and school assignments were done, the girls went upstairs a little early so that they could listen to that hip-twisting hunk, Elvis. All the girls were swooning over him and hoping to marry a man just like him. Jailhouse Rock kept them awake for a while and the bed shook as they writhed and twisted trying to imitate Elvis’Butt grinding.

Treat me like a fool, treat me mean and cruel, but love me, sang their idol and the girls fell asleep.

Both Julie and CiCi awoke when dawn broke through the window of the farmhouse and the smell of bacon frying wafted upstairs. They dressed and hurried downstairs to breakfast. The school bus would arrive soon.

Momma was still angry and began preaching again as the girls walked into the kitchen.

And let me tell you two something, if either of you get pregnant, you’re going to rock it. Your brother never gave me one minute of grief. I wish I’d had all boys. And to think I had to lose him in Viet Nam.

Julie turned and left the kitchen without breakfast, thinking, Gee Mom, you never explained to us how anybody gets love in her tummy, much less how to keep from getting it there.

You know I can’t wait to grow up and get off this farm, Julie said.

Me either, CiCi said to her sister, I don’t want a life like Momma has had.

All the kids at school are talking about going to college. We don’t have enough money to do that. I guess marriage is our only choice, said Julie.

They married young and began families of their own and life did show them. Both their marriages failed after they had put their hearts and souls into trying to make them work.

Little Sally had a mind of her own. She grew into the black sheep of the family and was determined to enjoy her share of the sinful world. Sally eventually married and divorced seven husbands.

Baby Diana didn’t remember much of the past and knew Daddy by the family pictures Momma would show her. She grew up and married the only man Mom approved of for one of her daughters.

Dad had been gone seven years. Momma had him declared legally dead and began to draw his miner’s pension.

After the girls married, they visited their mother often at the farm. They began to notice Momma was losing her memory. She lost the farm in a tax sale and had to be put in a rest home when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

Chapter 1

The Restaurant

CiCi pulled into the drive. John’s truck was already in the driveway. Gee, he’s home early, she thought. Great we can get an earlier start on our trip. She burst through the front door. Hi honey, I’m home, she yelled.

I’m in the kitchen, John answered.

Something in his voice told her that everything was not well on the home front. CiCi ran to the bedroom to change into her blue jeans.

Honey will you mix a drink for me? Make it a strawberry daiquiri, please. She could hear ice being crushed in the blender.

CiCi ran into the kitchen and threw her arms around John’s neck. I’m so glad we’re leaving for the weekend, she said.

John picked up the drink and handed it to her. Sit down, we need to talk.

John are you ok? Are you sick? What’s wrong honey? You’re white as a sheet.

CiCi, do you remember the girl I was dating before we got together?

Well yes, is she giving you any trouble? She knows we’re married now, but then she is much younger and very immature.

She’s pregnant! And yes, it’s my baby. I can’t abandon her now.

How far along is she?

Two and a half months.

When, John, when did this happen? CiCi was in tears.

Well, you remember when you were spending all that time at work? I began to have second thoughts. She was telling me how much she still loved me and I realized I still loved her. She was always there to show me attention and love.

Sure she was. She works part time at that disgusting little bar. Sure, she had more time.

That’s exactly why I can’t abandon her. My baby deserves to have a father who supports him.

You asshole, said CiCi, who was sobbing uncontrollably. She lunged toward John and threw the frozen daiquiri into his face.

Damn it CiCi, grow up. John reached for a paper towel to wipe his face.

CiCi slid to the floor crying. She heard the front door slam. John had left.

Oh my God, I love him, she thought. How can I live without him? How could he have lied to me? How could he have made love to me after having been with her? I don’t understand.

CiCi lay down on the floor and sobbed, until she could not weep another tear.

I’ve got to call Julie, she murmured. She pulled herself up and reached for the phone.

Julie answered. Who is this? CiCi is that you? Calm down and talk to me.

Its me, CiCi’s voice was strained.

What’s wrong?

John left me, and CiCi began to sob again.

Why? I thought you two were so happy.

His ex-girlfriend is pregnant. John says the baby is his.

That no good, dirty, rotten scoundrel, yelled Julie.

What am I going to do? I can’t live without him. I thought my second marriage would be perfect.

Julie drew a long deep breath. I just can’t believe that he is so different from his brother Dan, but I always had an uneasy feeling about John. CiCi, you know what they say, if something seems too good to be true; it usually is. I always knew he was a sneaky sort. Look Sis, why don’t you come down and stay with me for a while. Dan won’t mind. He’s gone most of the time on business. This apartment has three bedrooms. You won’t be in the way.

Well, I need to get out of here so I can sort things out in my mind. I’ll see you early tomorrow.

It was March, extremely windy and a soft snow was falling. In March, West Virginia is always chilly because of its high elevation. Once again, CiCi was sure that spring would be late arriving.

CiCi pulled into Julie’s apartment complex. Julie was standing on the front stoop of her building. CiCi ran to meet her and began to cry again.

Julie hugged her sister. It’s going to be ok, you’re going to get through this. Let’s get your bag and get you inside out of the cold air.

The women sat in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

There’s nothing more comforting than the aroma of hot coffee, said Julie, and I’ve got hot apple pie fresh out of the oven.

He’s gone for good, sobbed CiCi.

You’ve got to get your mind off him for a while. I know we’ll go shopping and buy some new clothes. That’ll make you feel better.

I just can’t go out yet.

Yes you can, it’s good therapy. Shopping is good for the soul, almost as good as a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Julie laughed and then added, besides there are some great stores here in Charleston. Now, finish your pie. We’ll have you feeling better by evening.

Julie’s adrenalin was flowing. The thought of new clothes always had that effect on her. The Charleston Mall was their first stop.

Wow, look at this suit, beautiful huh. Got to get this CiCi, you look beautiful in green. Buy that matching blouse too. Oh, and look at these shoes. Perfect.

Ok, guess I can indulge myself

Arms laden with the new outfit, CiCi approached the cashier who quickly ran the total sale. That’ll be three hundred and fifty dollars, she said.

CiCi wrote the check and handed it to the clerk who inserted it into the register. The register quickly returned the paper to her.

Oh well, seems to be some problem. Let’s try this again. The clerk fed the check into the register again.

Ma’am, I’m sorry your check is no good.

There must be some mistake, asserted CiCi, but here, just charge it to my Master Card.

Quietly Julie and CiCi left the store.

Julie, there has to be a mistake. I know my checking account total is at least three thousand dollars. Not to mention, my bank transfers money from my savings to checking when I get low.

Why don’t you call them now, said Julie. Here, use my cell phone.

CiCi called the bank. Hello, This is CiCi Jett. I’m having a problem with my checks. Would you please check my account?

There was a pause.

Mrs. Jett, I’m sorry everything has been drawn out of your checking and savings account by your husband. I thought you two were changing banks.

Oh my God, he’s taken all the money. CiCi dropped the phone.

What? Julie yelled.

He’s cleaned out the accounts, said CiCi. That money was mine. I worked hard for it. I saved it. I just put his name on my accounts.

Calm down, we’ll call an attorney tomorrow. C’mon, let’s go to the Blue Herron Café and get some dinner. They have the best seafood in town. It’s my favorite restaurant. Julie winked at CiCi. C’mon, I’ll pay.

The Blue Herron Café should’ve been called the blue hair café because at any given time ninety percent of its patrons were older women, who kept their gray hair colored a flattering shade of blue. The color was becoming to their faces and easily coordinated to the pastels they chose to wear.

I swear I’ll never, no matter how old I get, I’ll never have my hair that color. I want to look modern, said CiCi.

Watch it, the lady sitting to your right is only six years older than we are. I know her, said Julie.

Well, I choose to remain more in step with the times, I’ll never give up my auburn hair color. Clairol would surely go into bankruptcy if I didn’t need so much hair color, declared CiCi.

We’ll have my favorite booth by the window, Julie told the waitress.

They were seated and ordered coffee.

All right, Julie thought, this should get CiCi’s mind off that damn John. When Julie looked up to ask CiCi what she was going to order, she saw her sister sitting across from her in total shock, her mouth open and her eyes as big as two saucers. CiCi, are you ok?

Oh my God, CiCi drawled in her favorite Valley Girl voice. Would you look over there at that table on the other side of the room?

Oh-h-h my God, both sisters drawled simultaneously in the same shocked voice.

Is that Dan? CiCi asked.

Oh yes, said Julie emphatically. Damn him, who’s that hussy dressed in leopard print sitting beside him? She looks like she owns stock in Sherwin Williams Paint Company. Her make-up is on so thick, she probably chisels it off at night.

At the same moment, both sisters rose and marched over to the table where the couple was sitting.

You, you, you scoundrel, Julie screamed.

You’ve got some nerve, cried CiCi.

The leopard print hussy jumped up and screeched. Don’t talk to Dan that way.

Julie stepped forward and ordered, Shut up you over the hill alley cat.

The melee was on.

The cat woman growled and shoved Julie. Julie, in turn, hit her so hard in the stomach that her denture spewed out of her mouth and began to slide across the newly polished slick floor of the café.

Dan had already proceeded to flee the scene when his heel caught on the denture. He flew across the restaurant on one foot almost losing his balance. The only thing to stop him was a table by the front door where two genuine senior citizen women were sitting. When Dan hit the side of the table, he lost his balance and fell face first into their tuna salads. The table upset and the two women jumped up as fast as their arthritic bones permitted. One grabbed Dan by the tie and the other began to pound him mercilessly with her purse.

Across the room, Julie and CiCi began to dishevel the overly painted hussy. Julie yanked on the hussy’s hair, which turned out to be a wig and it popped off in her hand. CiCi dumped a whole plate of shrimp scampi onto the cat woman’s head.

Julie, recovered from the wig shock, reached into her pocket, pulled out a tube of lipstick and with one swoop, smeared it on the cat woman’s face from ear to ear. There, try that color; it looks better on you.

There were enough sirens blasting outside the restaurant to signal a terrorist attack. Blue lights were flashing out of the dusk into every window of the restaurant causing all the blue hair inside to become fluorescent. Someone had called the cops.

Oh my God, were gonna get nabbed, shouted CiCi.

C’mon follow me, said Julie. She placed both hands on the counter and vaulted behind it.

CiCi looked at the counter as if to estimate how much thrust it would take to clear the top without bruising her boobies. Then in a jump that would make Spiderman proud, she cleared the top of the counter and landed securely on her feet.

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