Mr. Mean Streak

By John Hershey

John Phillips, a 25 year old E-6 in the United States Army, stationed at Ft. Eustis, VA, wins a 127 million dollar state lottery. So what does he do next? He gets out of the Army and takes his 127 million dollars out to California and buys a mansion, complete with a club house on top of a four car garage. John soon gets bored with life at the Country Club and Yacht Harbor, so he sends for some old Army buddies, hires some bodyguards and a couple of whiz kids; rents a business building on the Sunset Strip and the fun begins. But wait, four Hills girls catch on to his antics and are out for revenge. See who comes out on top. Enter into Mr. Mean Streaks world and get ready for a ride.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 27, 2004
• ISBN: 9781453551622

John Hershey

John Hershey’s professional life unfolded in the form of five collegiate administrative, teaching and coaching stops. He has lived in Saint Paul for more than thirty years—where he’s grateful to share a home with his wife who continues to love him—and is the author of three novels, Window Dressing, The Healing Stone and The Immediate Exalted Task as well as several other nonfiction titles. His work has appeared in fly-fishing, athletic and university publications. The writer and his wife plan to close up their Midwest shop and return to their New York roots in the near future.

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Copyright © 2003 by John Hershey.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2003097903

ISBN :      Hardcover        978-1-4134-3577-1

                 Softcover          978-1-4134-3576-4

                  eBook          978-1-4535-5162-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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CONTENTS

Introduction

SECTION I

Beauty Parlor Blues

Restaurant Routine

Dating Service Scam

Duped Disco Lady

The Bride that Cried

Slammed Dance

Bikers Bad News

High School Daze

Sky Dived

The Bungee Bounce

Barber Shave Quartet

Combated Zoned

Super Sunday Bowled

SECTION II

Enter the Meanlettes

The M’Lettes Pad

Sour Date Scam

Amusement Parked

Lunch with the Lettes

Road Rage Rally

Ranger’s Rainy Day… And Night

Chinese does JP

Somebody Squealed

Bungled Boat Bomb

JP’s Big Surprise

The Sentence

This book is dedicated to money,

you know that stuff that makes the world go round.

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The Meanlettes are on to him and out for revenge. Care to see who comes out on top?

John C. Phillips—white man, nicknamed JP, Mr. Mean Streak

Carrie Phillips—white woman, nicknamed CP, JP’s wife

Belinda Phillips—daughter, nicknamed Bee-Bop

Bodyguards

Ranger—white man, ex-army ranger

Airborne—white man, ex-army paratrooper

Willie—black man, ex-pro football player

Bubba—black man, ex-pro bodyguard

Gizmo—white man, electronic genius

Locky—white man, safe and alarm expert

Nerdly—white man, college student, real-estate salesman, real name is Jimmy Pittman

Meanlettes

Joaine Mills—nicknamed Millie, white woman, green-eyed blonde

Kim Lee—nicknamed Chopsticks, Asian woman, black-belt karate

Janis Jones—nicknamed Jonezy, black woman

Leslie Van Wagoner—nicknamed Dollar Sign, white woman

Susan Van Wagoner—nicknamed Moms, white woman, multi-millionaire, Leslie’s mother

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INTRODUCTION

The New Guy

JP Wins First Prize

Porta-Pottied

Gas Station Glitch

9:00 A.M., Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, California. Multi-millionaire John C. Phillips walks out the side door of his mansion and heads up the driveway. Toward the back right side of the property is a four-car garage with living quarters on top, known as the clubhouse, where his on-duty bodyguards stay. He walks up the side stairway, steps into the kitchen and says, Well boys, you just about ready for another day of messin’ things up? One of his bodyguards, Ranger, says, Yeah boss, but we’re still waiting on the new guy. What’s he like anyway?

JP knows and says, Oh, that’s right, I forgot to tell you about him. The bodyguard placement company says he’s a six-foot-six, two-hundred-and-forty-five-pound brother, with a black belt in karate, so he should work out just fine. So, Gizmo, you and Ranger teach him the ropes, and Airborne, you and Willie come on with me, and we’ll meet the rest of you at the office. Gizmo says, Got it boss, see you later. JP steps out on the side porch and says, Hey, the new guy’s here. The new bodyguard is walking up the steps, and when he gets to the top, JP says, Holy mackerel, look at the size of this guy. OK, because of your size, I hereby nickname you Bubba.

JP looks in the clubhouse and says, Well, let’s go, men, and like I said, teach the new guy here the ropes, fellas, and we’ll meet you at the office later on. JP and his two bodyguards leave, greeting Bubba on the way out the door. Ranger says, Yo, Bubba, come on in and sit down. It’s gonna take me about ten or fifteen minutes to explain the deal to you. Now, when I’m through, you sit back and decide whether this is for you or not. Now, the money’s here, and the benefits are here. It pays a thousand dollars a week, access to your own apartment in the apartment complex that JP owns, use of any company car or van, and by the way, JP is short for John Phillips, but he also goes by Johnny, Mr. John, whatever. OK, now your job here, like ours, is to mess people’s lives up.

Bubba asks, What do you mean? Kill ‘em? Ranger says, No, not necessarily, but if it turns out that way, well then that’s the way it goes. Leme give you some examples as to what the job’s all about. At the office, there’s a computer room for computer hacking, you know, to break into the bank’s code and have people’s cars repossessed, mortgages foreclosed on their houses, funds transferred, so forth and so on. Basically, what JP’s all about is, he creates a hardship for someone then thrives on it. OK, now that you know, are you with us on this?

Gizmo, with a smile on his face, says, "Alright, let me tell you a little bit about the gang. Let’s see, there’s myself, Gizmo. The reason they call me that is because I’m not bad with electronics. Well, maybe I am, maybe I’m not, I don’t know, but anyway, my job is things like deactivating alarms, setting up small spy-TV cameras like the one I hooked up in the change house here by JP’s swimming pool, infiltrating television waves, and I also hooked up JP’s computer system in his office.

"Then, there’s Airborne. He’s the white guy, with the army jacket on, that just left. We call him that because he was a paratrooper over in Vietnam. He’s not all together upstairs, but he’s a good man and comes through when it gets down to the nitty-gritty. The guy sitting here in front of you, yes, this one that’s cleaning his fingernails with a survival knife, well this is Ranger. Yeah, you guessed it, he was an airborne ranger in the army.

"Then, there’s Willie. He’s like you, maybe a couple inches shorter, but that doesn’t matter. What you have to remember about Willie is he has a short fuse for a temper, and it’s very easy to light. Other than that, he’s alright.

Next is our Locksmith, a little white dude like me. We call him Locky for short. This guy can pick any lock, crack any safe, and break into any business anywhere, anytime. He’s a whiz when it comes to locks. And last but not least is Nerdy. His real name is James, and he’s not really a nerd. He’s a blonde-headed California surf bum. He just dresses up like a nerd for whatever the job calls for. So, there you have it, Bubba, and welcome to the club.

Bubba says, Thanks fellas. When do I start?

Right now, Ranger says. We’ll head over to the office.

As they head out of the garage house and down the steps, Gizmo says, Damn, it sure is a nice day to mess somebody’s life up. What do think, Ranger?

Yeah, it is, but like JP says, everyday is a nice day to ruin somebody’s life. Alright, Gizmo, let’s take the incognito car to work, ‘cause I’ve got a pimp-job to pull on the way. Oh yeah, Bubba, any dirty trick we pull on someone is called a pimp-job.

While they’re on their way to work, Bubba asks, How did JP get rich? Gizmo cuts in and says, Tell him the JP-wins-first-prize story, Ranger.

Ranger says, "You want to know how he got rich? It’s funny. He doesn’t mind if I tell a few people. Most folks think he got rich from inheritance or his ad agency. That’s far from the case. He told us himself once that back when he was in the army, stationed at Fort Eustis, Virginia, he and some army buddies were in a grocery store in Newport News to buy some beer. The state lotto was up to one hundred twenty-seven million dollars, and JP went over to the lottery sales counter to buy a ticket. Ahead of him in line was this lady who bought the same numbers every week. In fact, she bought the same ten sets of numbers every week. When she went to put them in her purse, she dropped one on the floor without noticing it. That’s when JP stepped up, reached down, and calmly picked it up and put it in his pocket. He then bought a couple of tickets for himself and quietly walked out the door. Sure enough, come later on that evening, the winning numbers that were drawn were the same numbers on the ticket that the lady dropped. Well, JP didn’t waste any time going up to Richmond, the capitol, to cash it in. Of course, the lady who bought the ticket was freaking out, and she even made the newspaper; but there was nothing she could do about it because she couldn’t prove the ticket was hers to begin with. Besides, JP had already signed and presented it to the lottery commission. Well, after JP won first prize, he got out of the army, moved out here to California, and I guess the rest is history.

Pull over by the construction site, Gizmo, you know, that new one they just started, and park about fifty yards from the Porta-Potti that sits by the road.

Got you, Gizmo says.

As they park near the Porta-Potti, Ranger says, OK, listen up, Gizmo. Make sure you get this on film for JP, and remember, this is all in the timing.

Gizmo says, I’ve got my palm camcorder all ready to go.

Ranger says, You see, Bubba, we want to make sure that there is at least one guy waiting outside the latrine for two reasons. One, we know someone’s inside the Porta-Potti, and two, the guy inside is gonna think the guy waiting pimped him. So when there’s a guy waiting, that’s when you step up and do a number on them. And Bubba, you come with me just in case someone jumps me. I might need you to help get him off me.

A few minutes later, Ranger points at the latrine and says, Hey, like I said, it’s all in the timing. See that guy waiting outside? That’s our cue, Bubba, let’s go. Ranger and Bubba get out of the car; and Ranger says, Roll ‘em, Gizmo, and they start trotting over to the Porta-Potti. As they’re jogging, Ranger looks over at Bubba and says, The whole trick to this, man, is you make sure you tip it over on the door of this thing. This way, the guy inside can’t get out quite as fast. They get to the Porta-Potti and Ranger says, Here, I’ll show you, like this, and he gives the commode a hard push, and it tips over on the door. The construction worker standing nearby says, Hey, what are you two doin? Ranger and Bubba turn and sprint for the car. The man inside the