He Could Not Contain Her:: The (Wind) of the Holy Spirit

By Kathleen McCartan

First and foremost, this book gives you a glimpse into one creative (some say genius) bipolar mind, which I have had for a little over twelve years. Beyond that, using a Sacred Feminine, Holy Spirit, Breath and Wind of God perspective, as well as an educational/creative perspective, and a Course in Miracles perspective, I attempt to create a total world reversal of thought on all issues related to the world/humans, why were here, and whats to come of us.

This book reverses so-called normal human thinking about almost everything, including what is life and what is death; what the real story of Lucifer and Mary Magdalene, John the Baptist, and Jesus really is; and what the actual laws of the universe really are, whats actually normal and abnormal; (the answer will surprise you); what humans are actually like as a species; what the current state of our world actually is; and what humans mean to Christ/John the Baptist (Christ/Alter Ego Christ) in reality and in the great scheme of things.

It will be no surprise that I determine that to save the world (and yes it can be done), love is the only question and love is the only answer. The only problem is that most people on Earth arent really listening, despite the fact that we live in an almost-dead world, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The spiritual light of the world is very dim, if its even shining at all anymore. Humans must wake up now, today. This book is about starting a creative/spiritual/educational revolution in America and letting it spread throughout the whole world. This book takes a forward-looking approach to the future and gives readers a glimpse into upcoming events.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781452522111

Kathleen McCartan

Kathleen McCartan, PhD, has thirty years of PhD scholarship, a deep eighteen-year-old spiritual journey, and a whole lot of trauma behind her. This book has been fourteen years in the making. www.wildchildearthhealer.com

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Copyright © 2014 Kathleen McCartan.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-2210-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-2211-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 9/23/2014

Table of Contents

…The Sacred Feminine……..@@@@spread throughout 32671.png

Credentials Page:

Acknowledgement Page:

Dedication Page:

Organization Description Page:

Introduction:

Chapter 1: Redemption: An Angel on my Wing

Chapter 2: Narcissism/Bipolar Disorder 2gether Exposed: Looking at Society from the Outside In Rather than the Inside Out

Chapter 3: The Real Story: Magdeline and J. Christ-the Holy Sacred Couple

Chapter 4: A Stranger Among the Living Dead Speaks: Christ Consciousness for the World of Humans 2014-2057+

Conclusion:

Referenced/Recommended Readings:

Referenced/Recommended Movies:

Afterward:

NOTE:

Every single opinion and speculation and judgment in this book is mine and mine alone. So many of my heroes (both from today and past time) may feel ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THAN I DO ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THIS BOOK. Therefore, do not associate my name or opinions with anybody else I reference. I repeat, these are my views and mine alone and I only use other people’s voices to accentuate or undo my points.

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Credentials Page:

I decided it was important to give you my credentials at the start of this book. I don’t state these facts or display them in front of you to be an EGO; I do so to show that I am an ego, a voice of the Creator Her/It/Himself. The first and most important one is that I can truly die/live now since this book is soon to be in print. It is Truly a miracle I am alive, which both my doctors, my children, and my family will attest to, so I must have been saved for some reason; I believe it was to share this book with the world to change it for the better. I have been made an outcast in the last ten years due to my bipolar disorder illness *wellness? You decide at the end of this book. This book was written to gain the respect of both the whole world as well as my immediate family. Believe it or not, I am just as motivated to write it to prove to my children, my psychiatrist and my immediate family that I am far from brain dead in 2014 than I am to gain the world’s respect. To be honest, I really want respect more than love when the book is released to the world. I hope I live another 60 years being a Krishnamurti, a Joel Goldsmith, one an educational revolutionary, the other a spiritual guru, both of them 20-50 years gone. And I am either stupid or brilliant, you decide at the end of the book. Please read the whole thing to see if I succeed or have earned your respect by the final page of the book even though it’s quite long. I am the Holy Spirit’s chosen communicator on earth. The good news for me, personally, after this muddled/dark/murky decade of my life, no matter how society judges me, is that I am TRULY STARTING MY LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN AT 47 and boy does it feel good and freeing. The rest of the world, except my children, are practically dust in the wind except for those committed to a healed earth as far as I feel. There is no past or future, only the present (2014). I am ready to make changes, TODAY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW TO SAVE OUR WORLD FOR OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. Are there any other takers? Join my website in October. I want it to blow the circuit.

And now, my other credentials follow: I received straight A’s in High school minus one B+ in Home Economics, I spent 12 years getting a B.A. in Journalism, a M.A. in Professional Writing, and a Ph.D. in Rhetorical and Literary and read Social Science theory at every level covering almost every subject you can imagine. After this, I assisted the Director of a Medical Humanities program for 7 years at the University Missouri-Columbia and explored further the theme of my dissertation: Medical Humanities: Helping Medical Students take a Pertinent Pause on the Medical Beat (at the University of Missouri-Columbia Library, graduation 1997). Lastly, for the last 10 years, while working stressful for-profit Dean/Program Chair positions, I also read everything I could get my hands on about self-help and personal growth, Gnosticism, Jesus Christ, Mary Magdeline, 2012/2013, and (YES IT DOES GO BEYOND 2012 YOU COMATOSE HUMANS)…and read the Course of Miracle ONLY, along with Gary Renart’s Disappearance of the Universe (yes, it will disappear someday it’s happening already in its own way), for 7 full years, reading NOTHING ELSE BUT THESE TWO TEXTS IN FACT FOR TWO FULL YEARS; I carried these books EVERYWHERE (torn up, written on and frazzled). They are the best, by far, more original and thought-provoking books I have read ever and that have been written in the last 100 years if not all Time. I have also read and re-read many (at least 2500) deeply scholarly books, which I hope this book proves, and that was between the ages of 18 and 47 (naturally I am still doing today), which is how old I am this very day. I am not a lightweight academically, I am a heavy hitter-which I do from the first word all the way to the last word (which is really the first word, I end my book at the beginning of my journey; remember this is a paradoxical/contradictory/backward/forward/upside down/sideways book and I make absolutely no apology about it). I hope I have a LARGE group of people ready to change the world for the better take a serious look at my book and make appropriate changes in their life to improve their relationship with themselves, each other, the world and make a better life for themselves and better the life of many others as well.

As will become apparent in this book so I might as well get it out of the way, I also have a special creative brain and I see visions in my mind at almost all Times. I developed this brain in 2002 when I was first diagnosed with bipolar/schizo-affective disorder. Up until this point (even though I have always been academically gifted), my brain was wired another way. No one really knows what causes bipolar disorder yet (they may someday, some say childhood abuse, others say stress in general, still others say genetics, others admit we know jack squat about its origins; I say, after being diagnosed for a little over 10 years, is that for me personally it is because I am a clairvoyant and sense the distress of the larger world more severely and intensely). Bipolar people simply experience a greater and deeper response to the physical/material universe and they have mood swings, and even have psychotic breaks at times. In other words, they are more sensitive people and they can feel the movements of the Earth, the Wind, the Rain, and everything in between. Some of them can, anyway, like me. In addition to my academic background, I also have gone from heaven (1996), through hell (2002-2013) back toward heaven in 2014. In other words, I have been on a personal, INTENSIVE spiritual journey to the soul for almost 18 years, much of it, at least the last 10 years, unasked for but instead thrust upon me. Being bipolar, I simply experience THE EXTREMES OF THE DARK SIDE AND THE LIGHT SIDE THE ULTIMATE EXTREMES WHEREAS THE NORMAL people experiences these sides at a more shallow level. Trust me, this is TRUE. And also, read this book and then doubt it quite frankly…..

For these two reasons alone (my 30-year Ph.D. back and my intensive 18-year Gnostic/Law of Attraction spiritual journey), I believe that I am more than qualified to write this book and teach the whole wide world something and I am not being Egotistical at all or I certainly don’t mean to be. If you trust diligent scholarship, the value of experiential knowledge, and the fact that people who know a lot actually have to WALK THE WALK AND TALK THE TALK, I hope you simply see my statement as fact, not speculation. I also want it to be known that my EXPERIENTIAL (what I physically actually experienced on earth and my True Life Story Journey) experience means more to me as far as learning than does every second of the 30 years of Ph.D. scholarship. Many Ph.D. people can be the penultimate snob thinking they know more than everyone else. And I used to have be one of those people. Now, I am much more humble (though I still think I have some smarts) and realize that knowledge doesn’t protect you from or help you against the harsh currents of life. I hope my practical experience convinces you, my readers, that I love you and am being sincere in this book (A World Manifesto really) more than all the high falutin scholarship I write. I mean that from the bottom of my tender heart. I want to start an American (world by extension but really America since it is my home) revolution in 2014 so I wrote a book to take the first step. It only takes the masses to start a revolution, one person at a time; it really isn’t ever going to happen from the top down.

Come on this journey to Spiritual Nirvana please, every human alive; the world is oh so ready for a new, bright, fresh, hip, creative, titillating voice and I am truly that voice in 2014, a resurrected J.D. Salinger (1942, bestseller Catcher in the Rye) and other voices from our long-dead and also very recent past, present and future….You must be courageous and brave, however, and be willing to change EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER BELIEVED about life, the earth, the reason we are here, the reason we have evil and darkness both in ourselves and the larger world, whether mind or body really matters to our creator more, and on, and on and on. As it says in The Course in Miracles, I will reverse everything you think about the world, yourself, and every other person in your life, animals and the earth too. This isn’t for the light reader or the person that thinks they know it all or believe that Jesus died 2014 years ago. This is for the O P E N M I N D E D person that wants to explore uncharted territory and go to where (k) no (w) human alive has gone be 4.

Won’t you go on the ride Home to Love with Me? It’s where we are headed so you might as well be the first to stand on its path…..

Acknowledgement Page:

This was in some ways the easiest page to write and the hardest page to write in my book because there were many people close to me that didn’t believe in me (still don’t maybe this book will change their mind) or my book due to my bipolar condition. I pray this book shows them and the world that I have so much to offer this tattered and worn earth and that I am not a societal freak or reject, which is how society, even those close to me, see me a lot of the Time. Ironically, it has really been my doubters (even enemies) who inspired me to write this book every bit as much as my supporters if the Truth be known. I am very stubborn and don’t like to be labelled incompetent or wacko. The best way I can explain what it is like for most people who suffer from bipolar disorder, especially, due to the bizarreness of the condition, is that most people, doctors, family members, children, spouses, friends, parents, the larger society focus on the illness, not the wellness. Another way to say the same thing is that they focus on the lack rather than the potential of bipolar people. How sad and pathetic for a society to do that in my humble, though educated opinion. I would also venture to say the same thing could be said of almost everyone who suffers from some supposed mental illness. We must study the strengths of so-called different people in the 21st-Century. This can teach us so much about the insanity of so-called normal people.

Therefore, I certainly know I want to start this page by giving credit to three people that are all deceased that knew of my intellectual creative-gifted mind and saw my creative/mental potential from a very young age, probably 6 years old: my Aunt MaryAnn McCartan who took her life in 2000 (Chapter 1 is dedicated to her, a whole chapter of the book; it’s her story anyway really), my father, Michael McCartan, who died in 1993, and my Aunt Maryann Brisbois who died in 2014. Without the support and encouragement of all three of these people (they all saw my creative mind as a gift and didn’t judge me for being different), I wouldn’t be here today writing this book. My dad and my aunt MaryAnn McCartan taught me very early on (probably from the age of six since my aunt bought me so many books) to value knowledge over everything/anything. I have followed their advice my entire life.

In addition to these three people, I want to thank a few close friends who have supported me and believed in my ability (MY POTENTIAL REALLY) to pull together a thought-provoking and eye-raising book. They are as follows, in no particular order: Mary Grace Tomlin, Melinda Allen, Dave McKinney, my cat Tigery, of course (yes, animals provide support and comfort, just ask any animal lover), Ricky Monconduit, Frank Knoll (*a college student, MANY SO MANY OTHERS I CAN’T COUNT RESPECTS ME AND ENCOURAGED MY BOOK PATH 2), Steve Rolland, Richard Harris. These are the only personal people in my life who have believed this book would be worth salt and mustard. My brain isn’t dead society, TRUST ME. If society or my family or even my children tell me I can’t do something, I go 1 step above what people think I can do power-wise. Other’s opinion means nothing to me anymore as long as I’m doing the will of our Creator. I am now a Law of Attraction Gnostic and know that each and every person alive has direct and constant access to the Creator of all life.

I also want to give support to so many people (and this is only a partial listing by a long shot) who are famous that will probably never know me unless I get to be a big-time Hay House writer ( 29417.png ’). They are: Gary Renart, Ken Wapnick (deceased), Helen Schumann (deceased) Louise Hay, Esther and Jerry (deceased) Hicks, everyone on the Secret video, every single of them, Carolyn Myss, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Joel Osteen, and so many others I can’t remember them quite frankly. These people, whether they know it or not, have driven me on and made me believe that as long as you believe in yourself, it doesn’t matter at all what others think of your potential. It is my firm belief after writing this book (I am completely 110% done except for a few additions and a work cited page), that I get my revenge on society, my family, even my children in someways (they love me, BUT THEY DON’T RESPECT ME OR MY 30 years of Ph.D. scholarship and an 18-year deeply spiritual spiritual journey) with this book’s publication. What a shame that no one respects me, I think, and a sign of an ignorant culture in my mind. I believe I make all of society (so-called normal people especially) look downright ignorant, dare I say? At times even stupid with this book. You reject me, I’ll make you look like a dumbshit back. Get with it, humans. Grow up and change the world (2014). Btw, I should be EGOSTISTICAL since I am speaking for the Creator. Without me, you are doomed to fail. Luv, the Holy Spirit (WIND) of the Creator.

And in conclusion, I want to say how much I love my family (more than life itself) for helping me through the darkest times imaginable (talked about in the book) and saving my life and bringing me to the fruition of a book I have been working on off and on for a little under 18 years, since 1996. If it wasn’t for my immediate family, my mom, my four siblings, and my brother, I wouldn’t be alive today. Even more so, without my two children, 14 and 18, I would be dead without a doubt. As well as my family, I have needed my psychiatrist, Dr. Martell Parsons to survive the last 3 years (I also had another psychiatrist from 2004-2010). Even though none of them in my opinion (naturally it’s subjective but I do have compelling evidence which I won’t share) believed I had any brain power left, they did support my medical recovery through five traumas. It is my hope that I can show not only the wider society, but also family and friends of people suffering from bipolar disorder (including my own) and all other kinds of mental differentness how to treat people with mental challenges with more dignity and respect and see them for their amazing qualities, instead of seeing them as their illness and pigeon-holing them. The biggest irony and the primary reason I believe I am a clairvoyant and not bipolar (maybe both?) is because my brain is sharper than it has ever been in its life (and I have a Ph.D. and 30 years of scholarship and an intense 18-year spiritual journey already behind me now at 47); I haven’t deteriorated mentally one iota. I got the best of society and my illness (wellness??); they/it didn’t get the best of me. I have learned that the closer you are to death, the more alive you become. The brain becomes sharper, not less sharp if you give it the attention and TLC it needs.

…..@@@@@@@@@@lol– Luv, the Holy Spirit..

Dedication Page:

I am not sure if other people have both an acknowledgement page and a dedication page in their book, but I am going to for a quintessential reason: I am bipolar (or spiritually gifted????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????) and will always be mentally different and will most likely never fit into mainstream society like a hand to a glove. I will always be seen as weird, an outsider, edgy, different, wild, fiery, passionate, sometimes even a lit Fuse. As I say in my book throughout, so bite me. It is my sincere and optimistic (though cynical, skeptical as well if that makes sense) hope that after reading this book, society will never alienate and discard mentally ill people again, particularly bipolar people who suffer the most discrimination in my humble though educated (experientially even) opinion.

So here I go: I dedicate this book to the following people: bipolar people, narcissistic personality disorder people, autistic people, PTSD sufferers, Mental illness sufferers, the outcasts, the societal rejects, the depraved, ADHD sufferers, Down’s Syndrome people, clairvoyents, channelers, on and on and on and on, anyone society deems mentally different. There were so many other groups I couldn’t count them since 50% of the population is now considered mentally ill. All that tells me is that 50% of the population is screwed up. I am not banking where you are, however; I’m banking on the so-called mentally different people to be in many ways actually more normal and sane than so-called normal people. My book will prove much of this True, too, at least based on one bipolar person’s personal experience/mind. From the first page to the last page of this book, I totally reverse human thinking on just about everything.

Different, or people society deems different people, are really the only people who believed in my gifted brain and its ability to persevere despite so many traumas and so much personal pain. I hope I can be an inspiration to others who suffer discrimination by a society who can’t deal with difference very well at all. I hope my book stimulates dialogue all over the world about so many topics humans need to wake up about to save our tattered, torn earth, but my personal heart and soul favorite is changing the way mentally different people are treated. It’s the 21st-Cetury, it’s not the Stone Age, people. Celene Dion’s song, Because you Loved Me, says it all about what all so-called different people have done for me. Without them, this book wouldn’t have been written; I really might have taken my life because of how society has treated me, really quite especially people close to me (like I am an idiot and brain dead). Finishing this book has given me hope I can have a life beyond poverty and use my creative mind to heal this sick tattered world. It is 100% dedicated to all the people all over the world so-called normal people call mentally different, weird, or many times crazy and often ill. Aren’t u so-called normal humans different, weird, crazy, and ill in so many ways???????????????????????????????????????????? Be Real……

You gave me faith ‘coz you believed

I’m everything I am

Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

(Celene Dion, Because you Loved Me)

Organization Description Page:

CREATIVE FREEFLOWING BOOK STYLE? What the heck is that?

‘@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@On this page, right before I begin my book, I want to give you a brief explanation of a stylistic risk I took in this book and why I did it despite what some formal academics might say about it or how they might rip on me or call me stupid for using a freeflowing grammatical style. This is also true for all other readers of my book as well. I WANTED TO WRITE AND HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE A ,.////////////////////.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*&&*()(*CREATIVE FREEFLOWING EVER

LEARNING BRAIN (e.g., my brain 29065.png )……….

BOOK–––––––––––––––––and even though I can also write PERFECTLY PERFECT PROSE WITH NO DIFFERENCE OR BAD SYNTAX ETC. IN IT, I chose not to in this book to save the CREATIVE PROCESS ITSELF. Learning and the creative brain go hand-in-hand, foot-to-mouth and as a human culture we are losing this skill/Creator Gift at a rapid pace and I want my book to bring it to the forefront and I TRULY believe this book will start a dialogue all over the world about how to nurture and sustain the human creative brain, both individually and collectively. IWANT YOU TO SEE HOW I THINK WHEN I WRITE..AT THE VERY SECOND OF CREATION…A Living Book, a Breathing book.After all , the Holy Spirit is a Living, Wind/Fire like being, raging with the Fire/Wind of life, free, untamable, wildly rebellious, doing anything, absolutely everything she has to do to save her people, her humans. She will use devious tactics even to do it and my book is definitely devious. I cuss, I think outside the book, I use radical and bizarre grammatical inserts as well as poetry streams in-between perfectly ordered prose. I critique all of society and applaud it at the same time, I spin your heads sideways, forwards, backwards-you never where the hell I am going, but for some fricked up reason you want to continue on my spiritual journey to Wholeness, as I talk about in Chapter 2. I have a gift I decided today as I finish this book. And that gift is writing, reading, and thinking. I have a knack with it and I hope with this book I can use it for the good of all humankind. That, in itself, would give me encouragement to face the rest of my life, even despite all my trauma, which I will explain in the introduction and throughout.

Poetry, which will be talked about and shown later on in this chapter, is freewriting, from-the-gut deep obersVATIONS ABOUT OUR WORLD; THUS IN MANY WAYS FREEFLOWING FROM THE SOUL SPIRITUAL WRITING FROM THE GUT ARE ACTUALLY MORE THOUGHTFUL AND THOUGHT-PROVODKING THAN SO CALLED NORMAL PROSE. I DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR MY FREEFLOWING STYLE; CREATION IS MESSY, MESSY, OH SO MESSY; THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD NOW IS THAT EVERYTHING IS SO TIDY AND SANITIZED;;;

Let me give you a quick visual picture of how my brain works to help you understand why it’s taken me so long to finish this book and why I am not like a so-called normal person (I get into that in a minute and I comment on it throughout the book, what the hell is so-called normal?). One very logical reason is because I was holding down very stressful high-level academic jobs at the time. However, there is also another reason that has nothing to do with work stress and long hours. Ideas come rapidly to me at times, brilliant and I can’t stop them (medical people call it a flight of ideas). (I AM NOT BRAGGING HERE I AM JUST TELLING YOU WHAT HAPPENS; THEY ARE SUBCONSCIOUS IDEAS AND I DO NOT REALLY KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM, FROM A PLACE DEEP DEEP DEEP INSIDE ME; brilliance DOES NOT MEAN BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE; IT SIMPLY MEANS LUMINOUS, PROFOUND THOUGHTS), I am a sensitive intuitive clairvoyant…I really am and I just want to heal the world for the rest of my life; it needs it so…

I also need to explain 25 added what I like to call appendices that I spread throughout the book (yes, I chose to spread an appendices throughout the book, told you this was a radical book). These are only for the mentally brave and courageous that want to interpret very very very profound sayings/drawings. These are drawings I have done off and on for the last 12 years, 10000’s of them and I am not exaggerating, since I was diagnosed with my disorder in 2002, and they are the writings that led really to the book I am now writing. These writings came from a deep, actually unconscious/subconscious/supraconsciousness place. Really 40% of this book has/did come to me this way. I include these to give insight into how scattered yet ordered a bipolar brain is (at least mine). When I need to be logical and rational, usually I can be/do so. However, when I am on my own time and no one else is around, I let my creative imagination fly to the sky like a bird to the moon. Out-of-the box thinkers will think about these sayings/insights/koans/poetic insights for days. Others will dismiss them as hoggish bygloggish bullshit crap.

Another reason I used a freeflowing style and fricked up grammatical structure is because I wanted to be part of the masses, part of the suffering, those who are in need, anyone, absolutely anyone who is labelled mentally different. I use rapid/freeflowing/lyrical writing as a way of comparing it to traditional/stuffy even straight-laced prose (in my personal opinion even though I’ve done it many times and still do/can). An additional reason is because I didn’t want this to be a stuffy academic-style book, which is usually boring, repetitive and doesn’t captivate a large audience beyond those immediately interested in the topic. I wanted to appeal to all kinds of readers to make my message light like a fire, blow like the wind, and Truly change the world for the better. I cuss. I teach. I critique. I am snobby. I am down-to-earth. I rip on the world; I praise it as well. On and on…..I purposely used all kinds of voices and positions to draw all kinds of readers. I did this to stress the urgency and importance of my message to all man

*(women)

Kind……….

So, here you go, then, on a lyrical, boat-like journey as you see the society you thought you knew left in the dust like the waves that disappear as the boat moves forward in the water…Read with an o p e n mind, even you academic-minded people who think bad grammar means lower intelligence. Being able to use good grammar says nothing about someone’s true intelligence or their inner creative mind (which all humans have, it’s just under-utilized in so many ways by so many people), in my personal opinion. And this is coming from someone who has a Ph.D. in Composition. So here I roll the dice and take a risk (what is life without risk?) by using a natural, creative, freeflowing style. Please come listen to my song of love for the world.

Read on now…It’s time for the journey to begin.

Grab your popcorn, your soda pop, your movie ticket and get a glimpse into the bipolar creative gifted mind. It’s an amazing and warm and wonderful place to be. It can also be hell on earth. However, I’d take who I am any day over many so-called normal people who stuff their feelings and use things to fill a hole inside THAT CAN NEVER EVER BE FILLED UP BY THINGS.

Read on for Kathleen McCartan Ph.D.’s story of personal divine (ETERNAL) redemption…(2014),.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,.

–––1!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!

Luv, the Holy Spirit, the (WIND) of the Creator,.,.,/,.,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.,/,.@@@@@@@@@@

%%%$%$%$%*&

Introduction:

he could not contain HER: The (WIND) of the Holy Spirit

Magdeline/angel/stranger among the living dead/Holy Spirit, or a clairvoyant’

, having or claiming to have the power of seeing objects or actions beyond the range of natural vision: Not being clairvoyant, I did not foresee the danger of ignoring her advice. Synonyms: psychic, telepathic, prescient, second-sighted, visionary; intuitive, empathic; predictive, prophetic.

I AM FULLY READY TO MEET OUR CREATOR THIS VERY SECOND OF TIME; R U???????

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

?????????????????@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@

TAKE 1: Welcome to a world that is filled with weak, ignorant, ARROGANT AS HELL selfish creatures. Who r they, you ask? The name of the species is humanz………………………………………,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@text that home….

TAKE 2: Welcome to the most generous, loving, giving, beautiful species on the planet? Who r they u ask? Humanzzzzz

Which do you choose to be AS A SPECIES NOT AS INDIVIDUALS SINCE YOU

ARE, AFTER ALL JUST 1 species….2014

HEADLINE: God’s a Law of Attraction Gnostic@@@@@@@I am going to blow your mind with this book, are you ready for a mind frick? This book is controversial, radical, even out there and that is because I wanted it to be. I want the book to catch on like fire in the wind, the moon when the sun is erased from the sky, the glory of an Eagle in flight, the unification of the species in perfect love. Without actual dialogue about actual problems, you can’t ever develop reasonable and doable solutions. America and the world need to talk less, listen more, and open up the channels for true dialogue. Without controversy and deep-down discussion of real issues––THE MOST

IMPORTANT PART–––– (just like in a marriage or any other significant relationship bond), there can be no real or lasting change in an individual/a community or the world. This book is a glimpse into the future world of humans and it is teaching you that what is unseen in the world is 110% more important that what you c with your outer eyes. Watch this Journey Home to Love. Luv, the Holy Spirit (WIND) of the Creator…….Would any of you like to consult with me? I can tell you why you were created and what the specific purpose of your life is. A Law of Attraction Gnostic (and Jesus Christ was the quintessential Law of Attraction Gnostic, see Chapter 3) creates their own path and thinks for themselves, the opposite of what traditional churches teach/have always taught/will always teach. The flip side (and I believe good side) is that membership at traditional religious institutions will continue to wane in the 21st-Century (it’s already happening). This is because we are in the Age of Technology/Virtual communication/ wide and easy access to incredible personal knowledge about almost everything (one of the advantages of the technology I rip on through much of this book). Jesus’s True teaching *(that we are all literally members of just 1 species) in the 21st Century will become the norm. Come on this journey to your future, humans, that is if you don’t kill yourselves first. Luv, the Holy Spirit (WIND() of the Creator.

GRATITUDE FOR PLANTS ANIMALS GRASS TREES GARDENING FLOWERS BUMBLEBEES EAGLES TIGERS MUSKRATS BIRDS LIZARDS FISH SKUNNKS RODENTS EVEN….etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.etc. etc. etc. etc.etc. etc. etc. etc.etc. etc. you get the hint…they are u and u are them no joke…

Future visions have told me that once we remove all the shit and gunk in the world, purify it, love animals again, and connect with the natural world,the world will heal faster than any human can possibly imagine. It we continue on the track we r on, we r on our way to certain extinction. A few material things aren’t bad. Tons of it for overbloated EGOS will surely be the death of the world if all humans, especially Westernized people, don’t change their ways and buy less. Even a little bit helps. Come on, can’t we all chip in?

Luv,

The Holy Spirit

IS THE WAY HEAL THE EARTH NOW MOTHER IS CRYING FOR HER CHILDREN…Come Home to Love

Jesus is crying crocodile tears, waiting, Jesus THE JESUS CHRIST YOU THOUGHT DEAD…..

When you meet the Creator, it is you, personally, with (k) no (w) on around but you and He.She.It

I, also, am a Law of Attraction

Gnostic@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

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SECRET FOR THE 21st-Century (use the heck out of the Law of Attraction on an individual AND GLOBAL LEVEL…UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUSNESS (CHRIST CONSCIOSNESS, Chapter 4(….)

Have you ever seen the rain on a sunny day? I want to know, have you ever seen the rain on a Sunny Day (Creedance Clearwater Revival)

After you read this book, you will see how powerful my mind is (NOT ME, MY MIND; THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE AS THIS BOOK WILL SHOW). In this book, I am selling my service 2 the world. I don’t think that makes me a bad person. I want to channel all the pain and trauma I’ve suffered due to my bipolar/or clairvoyant? Creative vision mind into healing the world and making a REAL DIFFERENCE. Money, as well, would be nice, enough to get me off disability and secure a retirement. However, then I just want to spend the next 50{+???years gathering people together to save this tattered and tired earth. I want to show humans that heaven is already heare in the human psyche, RIGHT NOW TODAY NO MATTER HOW THE OUTSIDE WORLD LOOKS. It’s heare and it’s the next step for the evolution of the species. Most humans today are asleep at the wheel and spiritually dead (Stranger Among the Living Dead, Chapter 4). This is while a few of U.S./World gathered all over the world experience ecstasy almost every day because we are 100% connected to the Creator above and understand the flow of life and the purpose of existence. However, as I show in Chapter 2, YOU MUST FIRST GO THROUGH FRICKIN’ HELL. It is my hope that with my mind, a pen (and computer), and approximately 425 pages, I can save the whole wide world. I then want to be practically a recluse the rest of my life, just watching humans change their species for the better soon. C" how I good I did after you read the entire book, word 1 to the last word (Book Etiquette 101). I also genuinely believe that many of my readers will change their lives and their philosophy of life after reading this book. I also believe they will make changes in their life because they, personally, want to after the thought-provoking ideas presented in this book NOT

BECAUSE I PREACHED AT THEM. That’s really the only lasting change that can happen, change that comes inside through the will of the person going through the experience. I am 100% sure there is a Creator based on 10-years of intuitive visions. It’s not, however, the Christian version. It is a Creator who is science-minded, quite logical and who already has safety mechanisms in place to protect His/Her/Its creative world with or without humans, quite frankly, although I don’t mean to be so frank but I have to. The Creator is in many ways indifferent to what humans do to themselves since He/She/It made each one of U.S./World with FULL CREATIVE POWER FOR GOOD OR FOR BAD (see the Course of Miracles discussion throughout this book, that’s where this concept is from).

My Brown-Eyed Girl; You My Brown-Eyed Girl (Van Morrison)

There are so many before me, embedded in the fibers of history that are imprinted in my blood and scattered throughout these pages. Free thought, what this book is based on plain and simple, 2 think the way u want 2 think instead of the way every G.sh darn other person teaches you to think. How boring is it to think like everyone else thinks. Most people just choose to deaden their creative imagination; their spark of life, it isn’t forced upon them from some outside force. In my house, I have one candle burning. Is there anyone else that would light their own candle next to mine to symbolize unity for everyone in the species? As you read my book, he could not contain HER (syntax all important), you will c that the feminine is the most powerful force in the universe, the BIG KAHUNA. Men have tried to hide this fact for quite some time. This book is for the reject, the societal outcast, the one who doesn’t quite fit in. Naturally Jesus loved sluts because they weren’t attached to their bodies; most people don’t know that (Chapter #3, an Alternative look at J. Christ/Magdeline). I wrote this book which has been brewing in my creative bipolar mind for almost two decades, three if you count my academic training, to give a no-holds barred look at our culture/world/society through the eyes of our Creator. I also did it to convince popular culture (e.g., every day people) about the absurdity of organized religion and other traditional notions of the Creator that are becoming quite passe. What I have realized now that it is 100% done is that no one’s even thinking close to what I’m thinking (I am thinking, Luv, the Holy Spirit); I am showing you a complete reversal of thought. Won’t you go on this journey to yourself humans? Won’t you? What do you have to lose when you have everything to gain. I am the pivot point for the world; this book I mean. It wrote itself I really didn’t write it. This book aims to start a revolution. It starts with knowing FOR A FACT that love created love and hate creates hate. We must quite the USELESS ACCMULMATION OF MATERIAL THINGS WHICH IS ONLY A REFLECTION OF THE INNER EMPTINESS IN THIS HUMAN WORLD. If you’re filled up inside, you don’t need to buy a bunch of material shit. It is my hope that some people’s stomach starts hurting when they buy so much crap they don’t need on this already-trash filled earth. This is for the sake of all future children, RICH OR POOR!!!!!!!!()@@@@@@@@@ Start a revolution Brad Pitt, Angeline Jolie, less material shit…others will follow, other celebrities, too………..

….Ask yourself if you get pissed at me in this book (and you will, every one of you will at some point; in other points you will want to hug and kiss me), ask yourself at the end, is this a TRUE VISION OR A BIPOLAR INSANE JOURNEY>?>>> But just make the right choice, please. I am taking it upon myself the burden of being a Mary Magdeline (Chapter 3), an angel (chapter 1), and a Stranger Among the Living Dead (Chapter 4) and the bearer of bad news about our material obsessed culture (Chapter 2). I am also here to convince you 100% that the Law of Attraction is True and can bring you to almost-pure Nirvana on earth 4 real (read Chapter 2 for more details). Hear me out before you close your eyes and go back to your childish games (yes, you celebrities, too, see Chapter 2). I also want to be a resurrected Krishnamurti (a spiritual philosopher and educator for 50 years, until his death in 1986, who is talked about throughout) and a resurrected Joel Goldsmith (a spiritual healer who lived in the 1950’s and 1960’s writing about how to heal a whole culture of people) so I am going to become one and sell myself with this book 29067.png 29069.png 29071.png Before writing this book, my EQO had to be beyond squashed (pulverized really) for me to make my message Truthful and Real. In other words, it had to be after I walked the walk and talked the talk, both. Too many people do one without the other. To me that is in many ways hypocritical. How do you know how something feels until you go through it yourself????? After this book is sent to press, I will make myself an ego again and be a nothing but love person who serves the world till my death. At first it is very hard to completely abandon your ego and your own personal sense of self, but once you get used to it, it makes you as free as a kite flying or a bird soaring in the sky (I will say eagle since I love them so). If you have been through everything I have been through, you would have a frick you attitude toward society, too. Most people in my immediate family think I am brain dead and stupid. My psychiatrist doesn’t treat me much better, always patronizing me and talking to me like I’m 4. Most my previous bosses were jerks, business people who didn’t respect education at all but only show-me-the-money and fired me when I was sick and had a breakdown. The amazing part is that due to my reading of The Course of Miracles, I don’t have a bit of revenge-thinking or anger. I am a TRUE EDUACATOR AND I WON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I MAY LIVE MY LIFE A PAUPER. It makes me beyond sad that there’s such untapped potential (WASTED IN FACT). While all these people have been plotting and planning for my death (if not physically at least vitality-wise), I plotted my amazing, glorious, stupendous, powerful, wow-how-the-hell could she write that? Book. I made my own destiny Gosh Damnit! I am an anomaly not a reject or societal idiot. I have a creative, gifted brain; that’s why I don’t fit in, duh. Not really that complicated to me. A 10xxxxxxxxxxxx difference it is. To me a society that rejects different people so easily is a pathetic society, absolutely pathetic. What if I’m actually smarter than most humans? Wouldn’t that chap a few people’s asses. You are closest to victory when you face the greatest opposition. Well, we’ll see when this book spreads like wildfire for good or for bad. You are not a reflection of other’s opinion of you, thank God, and despite (or maybe because?????) of what people have done to me/said about me/assumed about me, I want to help the world heal, 1-person-at-a-Time. I have so much faith in the Good Creator and practically none in the human species. Love Love Love. It’s the answer and the question. The only one of each really. It’s also the key to a perfect world (yes there is such a thing). The problem is that the large majority of humans really don’t want peace. They want constant drama and war.

I want to heal the earth for the rest of my life. I am working also to save our beautiful animals and their earth that is as much theirs as OURS. I take what I write in this book seriously. I won’t ever be on Jon Stewart or Colbert’s comedy shows. The key to writing a book that criticizes a whole society is to break free of the pain-body that infests the whole world. To write this book, I used nothing other than the best tool God gave U.S./World, my own brain/mind. Focusing of the mind key to the 21st-Century; we must stop being addicted to mindless technology (see Chapters 2 and 4). Don’t worry, there are bad and good angels in the world, don’t kid yourself (see Chapter 1). If people push your button’s it is because they are setting off in you some hate you have ,really, for yourself at the innermost core. Having followed the Course in Miracles religiously (it is a MIND TRAIING COURSE THAT AN INDIVIDUAL GOES ON ALONE, IT ISN’T A FORM ALIZED RELIGION) I have found this not only to be an interesting hypothetical and esoteric concept, I have found it to be THE TRUTH. Usually, however, it’s deep and unconscious so most non-reflective people don’t pick up on it. A wonderful analogy I can use to show you through images how the 21st-Century will work from a spiritual perspective is the story Eckard Tolle told today on A New Earth (based on his wonderful book of the same name). It is that story of two ducks fighting and then each butting heads and going their separate way with no memory of the fight. In visions, very real visions, bizarre even, that I have had about the future world, I have seen images of a road and on one side, going one way are evil people; and then on the other side, are good, loving people. I have been told that is the splitting and it will only increase as the evolutionary development of the planet happens in the next 50+ years (see Chapter 4). Which side r you on? Jesus said forgive them, they know not what they do.

I am Wind in my Hair (Dances with Wolves with Kevin Costner), luv, the Holy Spirit.

Dear humans;

You must slowly transition back to living in harmony with the earth; once you make this transition, change will be instant……..:) 29073.png 29076.png 29078.png

Some people say I am bipolar, I say that I am special with a sense of extra-sensory perception. I also say I am an atypical revolutionist and rebellious on top of that. I also hope that after I write this book, I get to have love experiences with humans (as messed up as they are in so many ways) for the rest of my natural born life. How rewarding is that?????????:) 29081.png ) 29083.png :So frickin what that I’m weird or different? So what if I think I am A Stranger Among the Living Dead, Magdeline reincarnated and an Angel/and the Holy Spirit all in One. It’s really for you personally to decide who I am when you finish this book what/who I am. All I know is that if things go the way I want after this book is in print, the Good God is finally giving me a break. When you judge this book, btw, make sure you decide yourself with no one else’s intervention. I hope I can make a tremendous difference in the world with this book. I just hope the majority of my readers see that I am 110% pure and loving in this book, no matter what nasty (or perceived as such) things I might say about the inherent ugliness of the whole human species. It is my hope I can experientially (e.g., MAKE REAL CHANGES In THEIR DAY TO Day LIFE) help the world heal, 1-person-at-a-Time. I have learned that repressed anger is the biggest cause of illness. I have also learned that 99% of people alive focus on the wrong thing, their body, without realizing that the mind is all that really matters in the physical world. What u think is what u become. I know this for a fact now, no matter what any traditional doctor tries to tell me with their overrated machines and tubes. I have also learned that man becomes what he thinks about, after watching Miracle Man every day for 365 days because his story parallels mine. I have also decided that with the publication of this book in September, right before my 48th birthday, the good God might actually be making up with me for all my pain. I hope this book builds off my excitement and passion about making the world a better place for everyone, rich or poor, woman or man, child or adult, human or animal, earth and humans. Won’t you build off my energy? We can achieve anything. We can accomplish anything working together as a world, absolutely anything. That is 4 real and a fact. Your life will be what you have created it to be. That’s how I look at matters of life and death and suffering. That’s fine if you want to believe something else but stay away from me if you’re going to try and convert me to another way of thought. Get the hell away from me. I have the right to believe what I believe. Case closed. It’s my mind and experience. Society and my family gave up on me, on my mind. Well, you know what I have to say? Frick you. Don’t forget after finishing this book that it is ego that frees you from the constraints of the world, not EGO. Christ taught U.S./World essentially to drop the EGO and embrace the all.

Today, in the 21st-Centurty, a resurrected Jesus, reincarnated in a bad-ass J. Baptist is saying, wake the heck up now, you have all the tools to make it a world of love and you are ignoring them, even undermining them at every turn in the name of narcissism and hate. He is also saying u r the master of your own universe and you can use your own power to save the floundering earth with enough love and concern. Why not have it be me to save the world? Who better? I can use my so-called BPD disorder for good instead of bad in the world (2014 RIGHT NOW TODAY IN THE VERY WORLD I LIVE IN). Most people don’t know that the special disciples to Jesus were His closest inner-circle disciples who walked the walk and talked the talk and took themselves *(THEIR OWN SELVES) to a higher level of awareness just like Jesus had attained. J. Baptist, J. Christ and Magdeline (see Chapter 3) are, quite frankly, pissed off at humans, a great number of them anyway. I have legitimate anger toward you, humans, luv, the Holy Spirit, the Breath of the Creator. There will be an explosion of controversy in this book. Please find love rather than hate through the middle of it. It is my firm belief that at least one person will change how they live their life, not because they have to, but because they want to. The difference is NIGHT AND DAY; SUN AND MOON. I wanted 2 tow humans in line with the book. Ego-check them. At the end, you see if it worked personally for you. After I finish writing this book, in many ways I leave humans behind in the dust like fire in the wind. Luv, the Holy Spirit. I will take the world by storm; I was made for this purpose. I will turn the thinking of the world inside out and upside down AND IT DAMN WELL NEEDS IT. I am taking the role that someone on earth needs to take, a cultural critique. Who better than someone with 30 years of Ph.D. scholarship and an 18-year spiritual journey? If you’re confused, perplexed, befuddled when you finish this book, I have done my job perfectly with this book. Life is messy, why shouldn’t a book be? U have (k) no (w) idea how much I’ve suffered 2 get 2 this point in my life. That, itself, should make you trust me more than all the bullshit scholarship I am about to write, 4 real. For the rest of my life, I will talk to serious-minded people who want to make the world a better place. I won ‘t waste my time, quite frankly, with those that want the same-old, same-old HATe/Kill/HATE/KILL/HATE/KILL/SEPARATE/SEPARATE/SEPARATE/SEPARATE. Only love can heal the mess-of-a-world we live in You will find in this book that knowledge can be pretty close to objective. You really will, I promise. Before you say that’s bullshit, at least read the book (a rare thing anymore, at least in school and popular culture) before judging it.

I am in love with Jesus and He’s in Love with Me (New Direction 2014)

More people need to observe what their mind is doing not their body. There is way too much of a fixation on bodies, and hardly any on the creative, amazing brain/mind. If it isn’t obvious by now, I am from the future. I am here to explain to humans that we are now going through a stage of evolutionary change as a species. St. Francis says that he could find beauty even in the midst of uglinenss and that is what I’ve tried to do in this book. To give hope, not doubt. To give Truth, not feed you lies and half-Truths, human potentials not just human flaws. However, I also wanted to make it very clear that without the Holy Spirit, the world is killed and over. This is the end of this creative bipolar (or spiritually clairvoyant? A prognotician, able to see the future?) book. I will not add one more thought (at the beginning/end; now I go act to the end be4 the end 29085.png :a meandering, perspexing what the hell is she doing? Book). Creativity never dies in the human spirit (nor in my mind) so I will go on and create something else (you’re either saying thank God or oh, no, more more more; this is one hell of a ride, hang on tight). My constant theme in this book is to tell humans to wake the frick up now. It is time now, traditional religious people, for you to establish your own personal relationship with God, not relying on some church person/preacher/pope to save your soul. The Creator expects you to save your own soul through diligent spiritual purification and day-to-day practice. If you want to go to a formalized church service, no big deal; however He/She/IT will only judge you based on your own spiritual path and journey, not on who your religious friends were. All the chaos in the world is changing U.S./World; I’ve already been 110% changed to a spiritual being, it’s your time now world. I believe wholeheartedly that my book is coming out with perfect timing. I also believe that everyone is tired of the same-old, same-old. I also believe everyone is burned out. I also believe that most books are becoming boring, cookie-cut and quite bland (not all, just most). It asks at the beginning of Celestine Prophecy, What Next? and that’s exactly what each and every human needs to ask as we transition from a primarily material-based world to a spiritually-based world within the next 50-75 years. It has to happen or we will burn ourselves out as a species.

I have a computerized mind, almost like an encyclopedia of information. Some people call me bipolar, I call myself a spiritual clairvoyant (more sensitive to the world and able to speak even unconsciously with the other side of consciousness) (see Chapter 1, 3, 4). Hopefully some mainstream people will read and learn from my book about the state of our world THE REAL STATE NOT A BULLSHIT VERSION. This is going to be a bumpy, yet exciting ride in the 21st-Century (see Chapter 4) 2 Universal Christ Consciousness (1 species seeing they are one species). If you’d listen to me, I could turn the world around in 10-15 years (no joke). The key is living connection with all LIVING (not DEAD) things. The good news is that humans were built 2 find solutions to all problems. Additionally, there is plenty in the universe for everyone, another piece of good news. The problem is that most people, RICH OR POOR don’t understand this FACT. As a species, we must come together now. The biggest LIE is that humans are instinctually competitive, cut-throat, primal, and revenge-oriented, hateful and territorial. The TRUTH is that this was learned behavior throughout eons of centuries and naturally, toward the beginning of the creation of the species, humans were NATURALLY connected to all living (not DEAD) things and love and connection were natural and sincere and original and REAL emotions. It is my hope that all parents, especially, whoever they are gathered all over the world, love their children enough to make the changes that now need to be made in our world now. It is time (2014); there is no better time really. My Balboa and Hay House readers MUST TAKE THE LEAD. If so, others will follow. I hope at least one mainstream, non-Balboa/Hay House reader will pick up my book and start a WIND FIRE STORM in the general population and worldwide dialogue about a gamut of important world topics on the Internet (I will have a beginner’s guide website in October 2014) to rev us up for the changes that are just on the horizon in our shattered and split world. I wrote this book TO PUMP PEOPLE UP FOR THE CHANGES; TO ACCELERATE IT…..(2014)

When you finish this book, you will see vision is key and I have had the vision of a perfect world of love since I was 6-years-old (no joke) for the world. Essentially, the TRUTH is, what you ‘c’ is what you get. If you see a world of fear and hate, THAT’S EXACXTLY THE WORLD YOU CREATE; conversely, if you see only a world of love (AND ACT FROM THAT PRINCIPLE EVERY FRICKING DAY, EVERYONE), that is also what you will create. It says this very clearly in the Course of Miracles which I reference throughout this text. I now, on earth, this very day, 2014, have unwavering hope and faith in the Creator above in heaven and to be honest, almost a total lack of faith for humans that are living on earth (most of them anyway). Forgiveness lessons, forgiving in big and small ways EVERY SINGLE DAY