Courtly Love: -A Modern Day Fairy Tale-

By Ade Andrews

Set in London in 2017, Courtly Love is an emotionally charged story of how a little boy named Rohan became a beautiful girl named Hayley, and how, many years later, she was chosen by destiny to win the heart of a prince.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Aug 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543402575

Ade Andrews

ADE ANDREWS is a proud Jagera man of Brisbane who has resided in Canberra, ACT, since 2010. A keen sportsman, he is the former captain of the ACT boxing team and in 2012 was the silver medallist in the light heavyweight division at the Australian Amateur Boxing Championships. After a decorated international boxing career, he switched sports to dragon boat racing and became in 2014 the first male paddler from the ACT to be selected on the Australian team that would contest the IDBF World Cup in China. He has a background working in government in both child protection and national security and is passionate about societal issues and the Canberra community. Synonymous with the life of a writer, he resides in a cabin in the woods and has a pet bonsai named Oscar. Ade always wanted to write a novel, and he felt that Courtly Love was a story the world needed to be told.

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Copyright © 2017 by Ade Andrews.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2017912268

ISBN:                     Hardcover                  978-1-5434-0259-9

                                Softcover                    978-1-5434-0258-2

                                eBook                         978-1-5434-0257-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 08/10/2017

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

765182

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1:   Magna Cum Laude

Chapter 2:   Felix Culpa

Chapter 3:   Vox Populi

Chapter 4:   Bona Fide

Chapter 5:   Acta Non Verba

Chapter 6:   Barba Non Facit Philosophum

Chapter 7:   Brutum Fulmen

Chapter 8:   Quid Pro Quo

Chapter 9:   Barba Crescit Caput Nescit

Chapter 10:   Carpe Diem

Chapter 11:   Omnia Vincit Amor

About The Author

A small percentage of the profits from books sold will be donated amongst the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association; Lifeline Australia; Tour de Cure; the Australian Indigenous Literacy Foundation; Stand for the Silent; the Isabelle Lake Memorial Fund; and Australian Marriage Equality.

To have courage for whatever comes in life—everything lies in that.

When we accept what happens to us and make the best of it, we are praising God.

—Saint Teresa of Avila

If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.

—Muhammad Ali

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

T hank you to my loving parents, Christine Andrews and Chris Hubbert, who supported me financially from afar whilst I wrote this story during an undeserved year of exile.

Thank you to my little sister, Yasmin, who always believed in me, and also to my older brother above, Trent, for instilling in me all those years ago not only the courage to take on and overcome whatever life threw at me, but also the ability to turn even the most bitter lemons into drinkable lemonade.

Shout-out to my friend Peter ‘Pix’ Wheatley, who’s always supported me. I had a little chuckle when I thought about an old biker forever being linked to a romance novel. Thanks to my two little brothers, Adrian Liszczynsky and Marcelo Cabezas. I hope I never entertain you or Kerry Hope again with my suited-up theatrical antics.

Thanks to Dr Mark Porter, who’s been not only my valuable sports orthopaedic surgeon, but also a true friend. Your willingness to go in and bat for me on two important occasions won’t be forgotten. Thanks to Aaron Carroll, who was instrumental in my victory over an organisation that tried but failed to stop me from reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. It never did dawn on them that whilst they were busy trying to break a man’s spirit, I was busy myself, in the lab with a pen and a pad, writing the script for a better future.

Thank you to my two favourite Brits, Jim Nicholls and Mike Tweed, who educated me on all things British. Mike helped me in the early stages of the book whilst Jim took over the advisory role in the later stages and did a darn good job of proofreading it before I sent it off to the publishers. By playing the role of Little Ozzie to my Odd Thomas, he helped me discover the pearl.

Thanks to diversity and inclusion practitioner Thomas Hoffman, who was always on hand to give me the thoughts of a handsome gay man. Thanks to Claire Emerson for being simply a friend who asks the important questions. Thanks to all my friends at Fitness First Deakin who supported me during a hard year. You know who you are.

Thank you to the varying transgender, LGBTIQ, and medical organisations that I consulted with, in particular Kit Crosland from TransActive Gender Centre. Thank you to the beautiful Abi Austen, who wished me luck with this writing project. Thank you to every young child who dreamed of a fairy-tale romance with a prince; and finally, thank you to Emma, whose touching story won me over and inspired me to write this.

A man with silky silver hair stood in an audience-less daytime talk show studio and physically prepared himself in the manner a presenter or news reader does moments before getting the cue from their cameraman to commence their programme. Wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and complimentary polka-dot black tie, he was always dressed like a gentleman during the episodes of the daytime talk show he presented. He was well known in the public eye, caring but controversial; and because of this, he sometimes couldn’t help but put his foot in his mouth. However, despite this, the man was much loved because of his gentle approach to exploring the issues that mattered in society. He had just finished clearing his throat one final time when his cameraman gave him the nod and, from behind the camera, silently counted down with his fingers, ‘Three, two, one.’

Kilroy Episode, 21 July 2000

Becoming Hayley

‘Good morning. I’m Robert Kilroy-Silk, and welcome to today’s special episode of Kilroy. As you know, normally, an episode would involve myself talking with audience members and invited guests. However, for this episode, I decided to leave the studio and hit the road to document a heart-warming story of one family’s journey as they support one of their own who is living with a medical condition that is often misunderstood and, because of this misunderstanding, also avoided.

‘Aside from chemotherapy, the process of a transgender person’s transition from a man to a woman and vice versa is medically recognised as perhaps the most intrusive treatment for a medical condition. Identifying with the opposite sex to which you were born is referred to as gender dysphoria. It’s an often misunderstood medical condition; and there’s a belief that it manifests in easily impressionable young children who choose to play with toys and wear clothes that, for all intents and purposes, are meant for the opposite sex. The hard and fast reaction of some parents is that their child is just confused, is a sissy boy or tomboy, and just needs to get more involved in the social activities of the gender of which they were born. In the case of boys, they just need to harden up, get a few scratches on their knees or a bit of dirt on their cheeks, and get out and kick the football around. For girls, they need to stop the aggressive play with the boys and just grab a doll and sit down with other girls to watch Cinderella.

‘However, this couldn’t be further from the truth, for although gender dysphoria is first noticed by family members in the behaviour of toddlers who prefer the toys, clothes, and even movies designed for the opposite gender that they are, the condition actually starts much earlier than that—in the foetus to be exact.’

Robert took a few steps to stand by a large television screen, which showed a diagram of a human foetus in a womb representing the gestation period.

‘In the early stages of the human gestation period, all foetuses are biologically female because they only have XX chromosomes. However, almost 50 per cent of the time, the foetus will change one of these X’s into a Y chromosome, giving the developing baby the reproductive organs of a male. From there, in most cases, it’s a simple process of the foetus reaching the end of the development process and a healthy baby girl or boy being born with the feelings and predispositions normally attributed to their gender.

‘However, sometimes the sex hormones don’t co-ordinate in the way that they are meant to, and this can result in the foetus having a male body and a female brain and vice versa. Today’s episode will show how one family, unprepared for such a monumental challenge, are doing everything right to support their confused child in taking on completely the identity that they have unequivocally identified with since day 1.’

Once Robert had finished his introduction, the programme moved to a picturesque scene of two parents and a child in between them walking along London’s Putney Pier, holding hands. As they walked, Robert’s voice narrated the scene.

‘Meet Helen and Richard Woods, loving parents to a little girl who I was able to sit down with and hear her story about how she always knew she was a girl even though she was born a boy. After approaching the uncommon situation with the most open of minds, her parents have made the difficult but obvious decision to support her in living life as their daughter. And little Hayley is doing it with inspiring courage and strength. She’s a beautiful young girl on the verge of her teenage years, she’s just discovered the world of make-up and accessories, and she is even attracting the attention of some of the boys at her school. It’s a scary time for any parent, but for Hayley’s parents, it’s particularly daunting because their daughter was once their son.’

The programme shifted scenes again to Helen and Richard sitting at home on their long grey fabric chesterfield sofa, joined by Robert who sat on the available grey single armchair. Robert began the interview by making a statement that truly showed he couldn’t see little Hayley being anyone but Hayley herself. ‘To me, when I see her, there’s no other answer. It’s so obvious, obvious that she’s a girl. I mean how could anyone think otherwise? She acts and talks just like a girl.’

‘Yes, she does,’ replied Helen with a smile.

‘For the first six years of her life, Hayley was a boy named Rohan. Now, you’d never know he existed. How is she today compared to how he was?’

Helen replied with, ‘Totally different—happy because she can be who she wants to be.’

Richard spoke up. ‘We knew our son was acting different. He preferred girl’s toys and wanted to play dress up, but we honestly just put it down to a phase and for a while just left it at that.’

Robert responded with, ‘But it wasn’t just a phase, was it? And years ago, when she was six, the moment came that would turn your world upside down forever.’

At Robert’s words, Helen took a deep breath as if she knew she was going to become emotional. ‘Yes, I won’t forget it. I found her in her room with a knife. Her pants were down, and she was…’ Helen paused for a moment as her eyes began to water at the thought of her child coming to a form of harm, emotions that were exacerbated by the unique parental guilt she felt because it happened on her watch. ‘She was trying to cut it off.’

Robert’s mouth slightly dropped open as he stared at Helen intently. The fact that he had been briefed by Kilroy administration staff on many aspects of the family’s unique situation prior to the interview did not immune him from experiencing any of his own strong emotions when confronted with a fellow parent’s nightmare. ‘She didn’t want what she had down there?’

‘No, she didn’t. She didn’t think it belonged there. Thank God she only grabbed a butter knife and ended up with a little scratch.’

Robert took a moment to allow Helen’s emotions to settle after reliving what was a harrowing and uncommon experience as a parent. He then continued the interview. ‘Shortly after that frightening experience, Hayley was medically diagnosed with gender dysphoria. It was instant relief to a young girl crying out for acceptance, but it was also relief for both you and Richard as her parents who, at the time, really didn’t understand what was going on.’

‘Yes, it was, Robert,’ Richard replied. Such a firm answer was to be expected from a man like Richard. He was the humble, hard-working everyday man who loved his wife and child dearly; and as such, he had tried and would continue to try to understand all the medical mumbo jumbo that their family would encounter along the way to support his little girl who was born into the wrong body.

‘What was your first move as a parent when you realised that you had a child with this condition, a condition that many parents like yourself didn’t know of?’

Helen responded with, ‘Well, we decided to re-enrol her in school, but this time, as a girl.’

‘Do you think that was the moment you lost your son?’

‘Yeah, I used to say that I had a little boy. You try getting that out of your head, but it’s really hard.’ As she answered Robert’s question, Helen’s eyes began to water again, for she was relaying in the simplest way possible the unique concession that she had to make as a mother in order to care for her child in the way that was needed. Richard didn’t have to look at his wife to know the sensitive nature of the situation and placed his hand in a comforting manner on her hand resting on her knee.

‘So what do you say to other parents who might oppose what you’re doing?’

Helen replied, ‘Well, it’s been a few years, and Hayley’s now 10 years old. So as a family, we’ve stayed the course, and that’s because we’ve had to. Generally, whether we’re out in the community or at school events, we don’t say anything. We’d rather just leave it. If some parents are too ignorant to understand what is a very real medical condition or even try to understand it by talking with us as fellow parents instead of whispering in the background, then we’d rather focus on Hayley and talk things through with her and make sure she’s in a good head space.’ Helen then decided to clarify that when it came to Hayley’s schooling, there was an appropriate support system in place. ‘The school’s always there to take on any other parents’ concerns that they may raise and basically set them straight. That, we have been assured of by the principal.’

‘So you believe you made the right decision to allow Hayley to live as a girl?’

Richard responded to the question in the same manner as he had earlier, as a father who, despite his influence within the household, was accepting of the fact that in this instance, conventional parenting of a child who wasn’t doing what was normally expected of them would not be the appropriate course of action. Rather, his answer made it clear that sometimes a parent had to relinquish such influence in order to parent properly. ‘Well, the decision had already been made, Robert, by Hayley herself. She was a girl, and nothing that we could do or say would make her believe otherwise. The decision, however, that we could control and make of our accord was to provide a safe, understanding, supportive environment for her to be able to live as the person she believed she was. As a father, I can’t see a future for our child if we had forced her to be Rohan. I don’t think she’d be here today—not after what happened when she was six.’

‘You don’t think she would be able to cope?’

‘No, because I know she wasn’t coping as Rohan.’ Richard then paused and looked to his left side, away from his wife, who was on his right, as if he didn’t want to meet another man’s eyes while he admitted softly, ‘And I’m not going to lose my child because I was too stupid to listen to her.’ As he uttered those words, Richard’s own eyes started to glass over as if the hard man’s emotions were trying to fight their way out for the world to see. Just like Helen had moments earlier, he was experiencing the same unique parental guilt—the guilt that he could have possibility lost his daughter because of his initial unwillingness to take her different behaviour seriously and instead attribute it to a simple phase. He was also feeling the guilt that as the first protector of the family, he could have failed its most vulnerable member.

Helen had trained ears from her years of loving and caring for the man next to her. And just like many wives, she knew her husband’s voice as well as she knew her own. It was the same voice that had asked her out on a date all those years ago, the same voice that had proposed to her, and the same voice that whispered sweet nothings in her ear as they lay in bed on lazy Sunday mornings. Despite his turned head, she heard the almost-indistinguishable crack in Richard’s voice as he expressed his remorse at not being all that he should have been in the early stages of Hayley’s struggle, and so she instinctively turned to the man she loved and would protect at all costs, placed her head on his shoulder, and kissed it whilst saying, ‘It’s okay, honey.’

Having ascertained that the family was wholeheartedly united in Hayley’s journey, Robert moved on to another aspect of the interview that he wanted to share with the programme’s viewers. ‘What are your thoughts about the future?’

By this time, Richard had regained his composure; however, the hard man’s quick recovery was only because of his wife’s gentle assistance. ‘As a father, I struggle with the process a little.’ He then smiled. ‘Maybe because I’m a man. But Hayley doesn’t at all, and my wife is very optimistic. And honestly, that’s what matters—that’s what’s important.’

Helen decided to lift the mood a little and express an excitement that would come with having a daughter in her life. ‘I’m looking forward to the shopping sprees with her and teaching her all the girly things she wants to know.’

At Helen’s comment, both Robert and Richard laughed a little and shared a look—one father knowing exactly what it meant to have daughters who went on shopping sprees and the other anticipating the future joy the situation would bring to him. Helen’s ploy had worked. Robert did however want to clarify what Richard meant by his own answer he gave just prior to Helen’s quip. ‘So what are you talking about when you say the process, Richard?’

‘Oh… well, the use of puberty blockers to stop her turning into a man and then the…’ Richard stopped and turned to his wife and, with a confused face, asked, ‘What do they call it?’ He snapped his fingers as one does when something’s on the tip of their tongue before remembering and continuing with, ‘Hormone replacement therapy. And then of course, well, there’s eventually her decision when she’s of legal age to go ahead with, you know… the operation to become a woman.’

As a fellow man who understood in its simplest form exactly what the ‘operation’ would involve, Robert empathised with Richard’s struggle to articulate without pause the fact that his child would most likely go under the knife during her transition to become a woman, and so Robert nodded his head slowly. ‘Okay, I know what you’re talking about.’

The scene of Robert interviewing Helen and Richard in their lounge room ended, and the screen went to black. A new scene began in which Robert was sitting with Hayley on a blanket under one of the ancient chestnut trees in Greenwich Park, South East London. The two were eating fish and chips, and it would be in this setting that Robert would one-on-one hear Hayley’s story in her own words.

‘How are things at school?’

‘Pretty good, but at the start of the year, a few kids picked on me. It happens every year at the start for some reason.’

Robert’s face took on a solemn appearance. ‘What did they say?’

‘You’re a boy.’

‘How did that make you feel?’

Hayley’s age made it possible for her to truthfully give the simplest version of not only the answer to his question, but also her reason, which validated her answer. Her response was an indication of just how pure the communications of young children can be before the adulthood ability to manipulate words and their meanings takes over. ‘It made me angry and sad because I’m not a boy—I’m a girl. I was glad, though, that my friend Erin stuck up for me and told them they were wrong and to go away.’

As a father to two young girls himself, Robert immediately sympathised with Hayley as she revealed the effects of bullying but then smiled, indicating his appreciation for Erin’s presence in Hayley’s life as he asked, ‘So she’s a really good friend?’

Hayley smiled as she replied, ‘Yeah, she’s my best friend.’

‘Your parents said that you’re going to start taking puberty blockers soon. What do you think that they will do?’

‘Stop me from turning into an older boy.’

‘Because you don’t want that to happen, do you?’

‘No, I don’t want to be Rohan again.’

Robert wanted to change the direction of the interview, but subtly by using the same subject matter of the moment in a new question. ‘So what do you think about boys?’

Hayley scrunched up her face before smiling and replying with, ‘They’re all smelly.’

Robert was not surprised at the answer, for his own teenage daughters had expressed similar viewpoints when they were around Hayley’s age, and he started chuckling.

Despite her young age, however, Hayley, like any child who had been bullied, was sensitive to the fact that words could cut deep; and even though she was involved in a private conversation with Robert, she decided she couldn’t paint all boys with the same brush. So in her mind, she made a concession, a simple truth that would hopefully add some balance to her opinion before adding, ‘But there’s one cute one at school.’

Robert’s face showed pleasant surprise at her admission. ‘Really now? Does he know you think he’s cute?’

Hayley suddenly started to blush as Robert called her out on her admission. She didn’t expect such a question and tried to maintain her composure as she giggled a little and answered, ‘No! I just watch him from across the playground while I play with the other girls.’

At Hayley’s giggling, Robert saw his moment. He was experienced enough as a journalist to know that the young Hayley would make herself overly vulnerable to his questions because she had a desire to help other children who were in her position. But Robert also recognised that another more important purpose of the interview was to demonstrate not only the struggle of being a child with gender dysphoria, but also the very normality of the individuals who lived with it and how a transgender child in a playground could not only feel the emotions associated with a crush but also enjoy and be the centre of warranted attention that would normally be attributed to a member of their chosen gender. He decided