YOU DO WHAT!?
From experience, once you reach a certain age social gatherings have a pattern of predictability. The preamble, usually with glass in hand, engages with an unspectacular icebreaker: “Tell me, what do you do?” Not wishing to offend these professionals too much, “I’m in IT, HR” or any other job that can be similarly abbreviated can often make the follow-up line somewhat challenging. On the other hand, as a cop I was often interrogated following the utterance of the less than convincing address, “My friend got done for [whatever].” I kind of guessed that in all probability it was they who had been pulled for the misdemeanor in question and one thing was for certain, they would rarely provide a full and unbiased account.
Once I had obtained my qualifying law degree a friend bizarrely introduced me as his barrister, stretching my legal standing way beyond the realms of reality. At a barbeque, on the way to getting well and truly pissed, a guy once asked if I had studied property law. It was one of the compulsory modules and I loved a bit of trespass, however, when he departed momentarily, only to return with the deeds of his house, seeking advice on ownership of a sliver of land between his and the adjoining property, I knew I needed a future-proof escape plan. Subsequently, thanks to a letter in Readers Digest, I acquired my get-out-of-jail-free card if ever I wanted a quiet evening: “I’m into scaffolding.” The ultimate assassin of all future discussion.
As the author, Stephen R. Covey once said, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” As a nineteen-year-old, I decided to join the police and this, inevitably, shaped my identity. The same for anyone in IT or HR. Yet I wondered how an unusual vocation would shape an individual. How much more interesting would a social gathering be if, for example, the person opposite stated that they were an astronaut, astrophysicist, or lion tamer? At this juncture I feel it prudent to
