Snoogers Rule, Mammoths Drool! Introducing the Amazing Mucus Phlegmball: The Adventures of Mucus Phlegmball, #1

By Kerry Crowley

     You'd think eleven-year old rich kid, Marcus Fleming, has it made, but he doesn't. He often feels like a disappointment, struggling to live up to his dad's high standards.

     One day, Marcus holds open a door for a very sickly-looking man. The thanks he gets is a sneeze that covers him in thick green slime. Marcus soon discovers that this slime has given him the ability to shoot radioactive mucus out of his mouth and nose. After fine tuning his abilities, he dubs himself the super hero, Mucus Phlegmball, but is determined to keep his powers a secret.

     When mutant squirrels threaten the town, Marcus feels compelled to step up, but worries he can't handle it alone. He reveals his secret to his best friend, Chunk, and to Dr B., the sickly scientist who sneezed on him, and they agree to work together.

     Through radioactive snot-filled time traveling adventures, Marcus is continually challenged and faces many of his fears. Can this insecure young man summon the courage to handle the responsibility of being a super hero?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kerry Crowley
• Release date: Aug 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201699512

Kerry Crowley

Kerry Crowley fell in love with writing in 7 th grade, but believed the only way to make a living as a writer was in journalism. She worked as a reporter for a time, but soon realized that wasn’t a good fit. She switched careers and didn’t pursue her dream until a random conversation with her family led her to a character name she couldn’t resist. Mucus Phlegmball was born and from there, her children helped her weave a gross, action-packed story that she hopes will appeal to young boys everywhere. She lives in Genesee, Wisconsin with her husband, younger son, dog and two cats. She is a member of AllWriters’ Workplace and Workshop (www.allwritersworkshop.com) and of the Society of Children’s Book Writers  and Illustrators. Snoogers Rule, Mammoth’s Drool: Introducing the Amazing Mucus Phlegmball is her first middle grade novel.

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Middle Grade Fantasy Adventure by Kerry Crowley

You’d think eleven -year old rich kid, Marcus Fleming, has it made, but he doesn’t. He often feels like a disappointment, struggling to live up to his dad’s high standards.

One day, Marcus holds open a door for a very sickly-looking man. The thanks he gets is a sneeze that covers him in thick green slime. Marcus soon discovers that this slime has given him the ability to shoot radioactive mucus out of his mouth and nose. After fine-tuning his abilities, he dubs himself the superhero, Mucus Phlegmball, but is determined to keep his powers a secret.

When mutant squirrels threaten the town, Marcus feels compelled to step up, but worries he can’t handle it alone. He reveals his secret to his best friend, Chunk, and to Dr B., the sickly scientist who sneezed on him, and they agree to work together.

Through radioactive snot-filled time traveling adventures, Marcus is continually challenged and faces many of his fears. Can this insecure young man summon the courage to handle the responsibility of being a superhero?

Snoogers Rule, Mammoths Drool! Introducing the Amazing Mucus Phlegmball

©by Kerry Crowley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or events, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Cover Design: TWJ Design

For my husband, Tom, and my sons, Reese and Colton.

This book would not have been possible without your input and support.

I thank God for giving you all an odd sense of humor.

The three of you are the joy of my life

and I love you with all my heart.

Acknowledgements

All glory and honor to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for guiding me and blessing me in innumerable ways, including leading me to the help I needed to realize my dream. I owe an eternal debt of gratitude to Kathie Giorgio and the wonderful writers at AllWriters’ Workplace and Workshop for helping me fine-tune this story. It is a pleasure being a part of your writing community.

Chapter One

Marcus Fleming was no stranger to snot, but even he never saw anything like this. Not only did the mucus smell bad, but it was bubbling, as if it had a life of its own. He shuddered and jumped in the shower to scrub away the slime. The mucus stopped bubbling as soon as the water hit it, but Marcus was left with red marks on his skin. Naturally, he was freaked out and wondered how splotchy his face would be if his mom hadn’t washed the goop off right away.

He was still reeling from what happened and imagined this day etched in his mind forever. It started like a typical Saturday. His soccer team lost for the sixth straight time and he spent most of the game bored silly watching from the bench. When his coach did put him in with a few minutes left in the game, he blew his shot and embarrassed himself. He had actually been close enough to the ball to kick it, a definite first. Heart pounding, he pulled his leg back to give it a good boot. Instead, he rolled his foot right over the top of the ball and wound up in a heap, thankful he hadn’t broken anything, as his team trudged off the field. No one bothered to help him up and a few of his teammates even went so far as to kick grass clippings on him as they walked by. The smell of fresh cut grass was something he normally enjoyed, but the humiliation overrode his appreciation. He lay there long enough for the bench to clear and then slunk over to grab his bag, avoiding eye contact with everyone. He still managed to catch the mumbled Fleming is such a spaz exchanged between two kids he thought were friends and wished he could snap his fingers and disappear.

Stupid sports. Dad said it would build character and boost his confidence being part of a team. Marcus imagined dad was right if he was really treated like part of the team, but he wasn’t. He was just the no talent sponsor’s kid who was forced on the team in exchange for fancy uniforms. Marcus knew he had no athletic ability, but this team was 0-6, so he wasn’t sure how any of them got off pretending they were any better. They were all a bunch of misfits, but for some reason, it seemed to always be his fault when they couldn’t win a game.

On the way to the car, after a failed attempt at consoling him, his mom announced they needed to stop at the drug store to pick up something for his sister, who had an ear infection. The drug store was on Main Street in the town of Lugeyville. While the town itself was spread out, Main Street stretched only a block long. The population was around seven thousand people, which could be viewed as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your perspective. Marcus knew he had more freedom to come and go here than if they lived in a bigger city and was definitely thankful for that. The fact the town was small enough for everybody to know his family was not a favorite part though. Given his shortcomings, Marcus would prefer to blend in and go unnoticed. Make no mistake, he’d be fine with being the star soccer player or the most popular kid in school. Except he wasn’t either of those things. He was your average ordinary Joe. Nothing special to see here, folks.

What made it hard for Marcus to blend in was the fact his dad was the CEO of the company which put Lugeyville on the map. That meant more than half the people in town worked for him, making it hard for anyone in the family to fly under the radar. To make matters worse, Marcus’ mom was a sharer. She was as sweet as could be and Marcus knew she meant well, but unfortunately, she often blurted out intimate details about incredibly embarrassing things. For example, she once told a roomful of people that when Marcus was sick, he still liked to sleep with his baby blanket. No one needed to know that. What was she thinking?

When it came right down to it, Marcus felt bad for his mom, but he also secretly resented the fact he inherited her social awkwardness instead of Dad’s confidence.

Parental units aside, Marcus’ most annoying problem, in his estimation, was his little sister, Sally. Sally loved to draw attention to herself, which usually in turn, drew attention to Marcus. She was only six, but had Dad’s charm and could talk to anybody. She also had blonde curly hair and big blue eyes. If Marcus had to hear one more person gush over how adorable his little sister was, he swore he’d puncture his own eardrums. The most humiliating thing ever, which happened way too often, was when people asked if he and his sister were twins. Marcus was eleven, and the two of them looked nothing alike. Marcus’ hair was dark and he had deep brown eyes, like his dad. What made people ask, was, at the moment, because of some cruel twist of fate, he wasn’t much taller than Sally. For some bizarre reason, Sally was freakishly tall for her age and Marcus was unusually short. Their doctor was fairly certain things would eventually even out and he would grow to be average height, but quite possibly not until he was in high school and there were days Marcus was sure he would never survive the embarrassment that long.

His mom got lucky and found a place to park right in front of the drug store. Marcus wasn’t quite ready to face anyone after the incident at the game though. That place smells gross. I’m staying here, he stated, arms crossed stubbornly.

No, you’re not.

Come on, Mom. In case you forgot, I’m old enough to sit in the car by myself, Marcus complained.

I don’t care how old you are. If someone comes by and steals the car, you’d be gone with it and I am not taking that chance. Mom responded tersely. Get out.

Marcus wasn’t stupid. A carjacking was not what she was really afraid of. He knew his mom’s biggest fear was that someone might try to kidnap him or his sister. Please. Marcus had no idea how much money his dad made, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t enough to draw a kidnapper to this dinky little town in the middle of nowhereville. There had to be plenty of people in the big cities that were much better off than they were.

You’re coming inside, but don’t touch anything. This place is crawling with sick people.

Marcus rolled his eyes and climbed out of the car. He was standing right inside the door, breathing through his mouth so he didn’t have to smell anything, and being careful not to touch anything, when he noticed a tall, skinny, kind of sickly-looking man coming toward the store. Marcus had never seen the man before, which was kind of strange, since he recognized most everybody in town, even though he tried his best to make sure no one noticed him.

When the man reached for the door, Marcus decided to do his good deed for the day and opened it for him. The man had no sooner stepped inside when he let go the loudest sneeze Marcus ever heard. It was so loud, Marcus would swear the ground shook.

"Achooooo!"

This sneeze must have snuck up on the man because he didn’t even try to cover his nose. As a result, Marcus ended up covered in thick green snot. Holy cheese and crackers! Marcus was flabbergasted. Some even flew into his mouth! What do I do? Don’t close your mouth or swallow, Marcus. It took every ounce of self-restraint he had not to retch. He glanced down at his shirt to look for a clean spot to wipe his tongue on, but instead saw a grungy looking handkerchief coming toward his face. Marcus threw up his hands and backed away, almost knocking over a display near the door. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and heard his mom gasp. What is going on here? she cried. This was the kind of thing that could throw Mom into a tizzy.

I’m sorry, the man stammered, his eyes bugging out of his head.

I should hope so, Mom said, as she glared at him and steered Marcus outside to the car. Hands shaking, she grabbed the can of wet wipes she always kept there and bathed him with them right there on the street. For a change, Marcus didn’t complain. He was as anxious to get rid of the green slime as Mom was.

Are you all right? Marcus’ mom asked, pulling clean wipes from the container and throwing the dirty ones on the sidewalk. Marcus was bent over, scrubbing at his tongue and spitting.

Uck...I guess so, he spluttered, still not wanting to close his mouth. Just get it off, please.

Can you imagine such a thing? I can’t believe this. Who sneezes on a person like that? Let’s get you home and straight into the shower, she said.

Marcus wanted to point out to his mother if she let him wait in the car, he wouldn’t be covered in snot right now, but kept that to himself.

WHEN THEY GOT HOME, Mom marched him to his bathroom with instructions to take a long, hot shower. Marcus grabbed a bottle of mouthwash and swished it as he stripped off his clothes to hand to his mother waiting outside the bathroom door. Something was stinging on his chest. He saw a couple of globs had dripped down his shirt, hiding them from Mom’s frantic cleanup.

Marcus went to find his mother after he was all scrubbed