The Rising - Book 1, The Retribution Series

By Shannon Figallo

Plucked from her carefree, happy life-budding paramedic Chantelle is groomed, removed from everything she's ever known, and held captive by a violent psychopath with one aim-to break her body, mind, and soul.

A lucky escape gives her the chance to begin her life as "Lizzy," free of the beatings and abuse she endured for eight l

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shannon Catherine Figallo
• Release date: Aug 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9780994621269

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Retribution, Book 1: The Rising

Author: Shannon Figallo

Published by: Shannon Catherine Figallo

ABN: 27861275760

Facebook: Shannon Figallo

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Twitter: @FigalloShannon

Copyright © 2021

First Published August 2021

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved.

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored, posted on the internet or transmitted in any form or by any means, whether electronically, mechanically, or by photocopying, recording, sharing or any other means, without written permission from the author and publisher of the book. Please feel free to email me for permission—I’m usually obliging. All content found on or offline without written permission from me will be breaking the copyright law and therefore, render you liable and at risk of persecution.

ISBN: 978-0-9946212-6-9

With thanks to:

My sister, Aria Triggell.

Without your love, support and sarcasm to match mine, I never would have done this. I would also still be stuck on page 50.

My husband, Paul, for putting up with me: I love you lots.

My children, for driving me nuts and keeping me there: I love you.

The rest of my family and friends: I love you all.

Contents

Chapter 1 - The Meeting 1

Chapter 2 - The Beginning of? 45

Chapter 3 - A New Dawn 89

Chapter 4 - Dreamcatcher 113

Chapter 5 - Chocolate Cake 155

Chapter 6 - Michael 181

Chapter 7 - Holiday 213

Chapter 8 - It’s All in the Name 253

Chapter 9 - I’m Broken 279

Chapter 10 - Please Don’t Give Up 301

Chapter 11 - Homecoming 351

Chapter 12 - The Lovebirds 375

Chapter 13 - A Change In Plans 409

Chapter 14 - Happy Fucking Birthday 483

Chapter 15 - Pandora’s Box 559

Retribution

NOUN: Punishment inflicted on someone as vengeance for a wrong or criminal act (www.lexico.com)

TRIGGER WARNING

This novel depicts events containing sexual assault, violence, violence against women, bullying, and gruesome acts. I did not write this story to upset anyone, and in no way does it relate to people I know, whether living or dead.

To all those who have been through the violence and have escaped: you are stronger than you will ever know. To those who are trapped: you are not alone and help is out there, don’t ever doubt your strength to leave. You have a chance at freedom

TAKE IT.

When you see this symbol, , the story will continue from a different character. I hope you enjoy reading my novel as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 1

The Meeting

January 2010

The sound and the smell of the ocean…

It’s so peaceful, relaxing, and beautiful.

I grew up camping on the beach with my family and friends.

Every chance we got, we rode dirt bikes, went four-wheel driving, played beach football and cricket, and went surfing.

My grandparents had property, so it was all about riding dirt bikes or horses and shooting.

I remember feeling free, safe, and loved.

I remember being myself…

Laughing, joking, and having fun with my family and friends.

I was happy... Once.

Now, I stand alone in my kitchen, looking out the window.

With no family, and a wish that maybe, just maybe, I can let myself love someone and receive love in return, and somehow have a family of my own — one day.

My past is filled with pain and loss.

I can see the scars whenever I look in the mirror.

The vast ocean gives me a tiny glitter of chance.

A chance to feel free: free to be safe, free to breathe and—possibly—free to fall in love and be myself again…

Well, kind of.

I don’t know if I will ever get back to being who I was.

All I know for certain is that there are some things I’ll never go back to.

I am hiding from someone, an evil that could consume me.

It’s the past I’m fighting against.

I was once young and carefree, at nineteen-years-old, but then everything changed.

Seven and a half years of my life were stolen from me, as well as the family I can never go back to.

It’s the past I’m fighting against.

I know I have a lot of healing to do, and having the visible scars to prove it makes it hard to escape the past, sometimes.

Right now, all I can do is take it one day at a time, and do the small things that make me happy.

It’s a start, at least.

I still have five months till I’m due to go back to work.

I’m lucky enough to do what I’ve always wanted to do ever since I was a child: being a paramedic.

So for the next five months I have a to-do list as long as my arm, which includes joining a gym and getting back on a surfboard and dirt bike.

I’m also going back to studying, as so much has changed since I first graduated, and I want to expand my skill set within my chosen career.

I can’t wait to start making my little house a home filled with laughter, music, food, and special people to share it all with.

When they hid me for over 18 months, moving me from motel to motel and from safe house to safe house, I was unsettled, depressed, and on edge.

I found it hard to be happy, or positive, with no place to call my own, and no safe place to breathe.

So, as soon as I could, I looked for my own place.

I fell in love with the house the first time I saw it.

It was a lovely, old, partially-renovated double storey home in a small town called Moore Park Beach, in Queensland.

It had an amazing view of the beach and was situated on an acre.

I moved into my new home in September 2009.

I have a folder full of ideas and zero talent or knowledge with which to actually achieve any of it.

However, it’s a new year and a new start.

I finally feel like I might be able to move forward and keep my most important promise to myself.

I spent the first couple of months redrawing plans and finalizing approvals for the house.

The previous owners had started to renovate, but never got to finish it.

The front of the home had been enclosed to make two extra bedrooms.

The bathroom had been ripped out and moved to make the lounge bigger, and to allow for a study.

The main bathroom is now between my bedroom and the spare room.

The kitchen has been partly demolished and has a hole in the floor for internal stairs.

My bedroom is a brand new extension to one side of the home, a big open space with plenty of windows, a walk-in closet and an absolutely beautiful en-suite.

It has a rain shower head and a claw-foot bathtub with a window overlooking the backyard and the ocean.

It’s the perfect spot for some self-indulgence; you just need a glass (or a bottle) of wine, chocolate (or a big jar of Nutella and a spoon), music, and a good book.

The hole in the kitchen floor, that will eventually have stairs, leads to the laundry room and the third bathroom.

There will also be a spare room, along with a bar, a kitchenette, and an entertainment area.

I plan to make the kitchen an open-plan space filled with light.

The dining room itself will open out onto a deck.

But right now, all I have is an old electric stove, four DIY cupboards, and some kind of bench with half a table screwed to it.

The other half of the table has been screwed to the wall, under a window.

I know it’s not much, but it’s mine and I love it.

While listening to a music mix of The Travelling Wilburys, Fleetwood Mac, The Big O and Creedence, I smile as I watch kangaroos hop through my backyard.

I make myself breakfast and a cup of tea as I dance and hum to myself.

I’m in my own little world and completely oblivious to the fact that I have an appointment at eight-thirty, and that it’s already eight-twenty-five.

I look out my window and see the trees rustle from the gentle breeze.

Setting down my cup of tea on the bench, I get on tippy-toes and lean over to open the window, inhaling the fresh ocean air that rushes in.

It’s cool and sensuous on my bare skin.

I stay there for a minute with my eyes closed, enjoying the moment.

I really need to get a few surfboards this week.

The sooner I can get into the ocean the better.

Maybe I’ll even get a dirt bike at the same time.

I smile to myself.

Moore Park has a beach that goes on for ages, and very few people.

A quiet beach with a few waves and beautiful weather is the perfect place to rebuild myself.

I open my eyes.

I get the feeling that I’m not alone, and I giggle to myself because it’s obviously all in my head.

This isn’t the first time I have felt like this, but the outcome is always the same: I am alone.

I mean, I changed hospitals, states, cities, and even changed my name. I’m constantly hiding and looking over my shoulder every time I leave the house.

I freeze, realising that I’m not alone right now, and that someone is indeed watching me.

Then I hear someone behind me, and I smell something different but pleasant—this smell does not belong here.

My body starts to tremble slightly and my heart rate increases.

Have I been found?

As I tremble, I quickly realise that my body is not reacting to fear, this is something else.

It feels like waking up on Christmas morning with the anticipation of opening your presents.

It feels like excitement.

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, taking in a deep breath and releasing it.

Whatever this smell is, I don’t want to lose it.

I take another deep breath and let the smell engulf my senses.

I have no idea why I feel like this; it’s something I have never experienced.

How can I even begin to understand my body’s reaction?

This strange feeling makes me feel almost safe; it’s something that I don’t want to lose.

It makes me feel warm, despite the cool breeze.

I get down off my tippy-toes and breathe deeply, in and out. I slowly turn around, and I see him standing there, at my glass sliding door.

I’m glued to the spot and I can’t drag my eyes away.

I almost forget that I need to breathe.

Well!

Oh, my holy moly, good god!

Hello, builder.

He is a tall, tanned, muscled tradesman, in a khaki-coloured, button-up shirt tucked into his shorts, steel-cap boots, and what looks like a New Zealand Warriors NRL cap, slightly covered by his sunglasses. Warriors?

Oh well, no one’s perfect, I guess.

It could be worse, I mean, could have been the Broncos!

On his left arm, I can see the start of what looks like an intricate tattoo, beginning at the wrist and wrapping up and around his arm.

He also has a light brown leather band on his left wrist.

My body starts to calm down, my breathing slowing and deepening.

I feel warm desire moving through me, and coming to rest between my thighs.

I clench my thighs together, trying to suppress the sudden onset of want and need.

My right hand fidgets along my neck and collarbone, while the other rests on the bench.

There is a man standing at my glass door and my body is reacting to his presence in a way I have never experienced.

I want him, and not just his body, but all of him and I don’t even know him.

Why?

What is happening?

What is wrong with me?

My eyes travel up and down the length of him.

How can my body react this way to someone I don’t even know?

I stand there looking at him, inhaling his scent.

I watch as he adjusts his hat and the sunglasses on his head.

He cocks his head to one side and I realise he’s talking, but I can’t hear anything he is saying.

I snap out of my trance when my plate hits the floor and shatters, spilling my Vegemite toast on the floor.

I look down at the broken plate and the remains of my breakfast, then back at him.

‘Are you alright?’ he asks.

‘What?’ I reply, thinking, oh god, my voice sounds weird.

‘Are you alright?’ He repeats the question as he looks at me with such intensity that I could hand him my panties and tell him to take me right here, right now.

My body shivers and I feel the quiver between my thighs.

My god, I’m wet and most likely blushing crimson red!

‘I’m fine, why?’ I reply as I wave dismissively, trying to stem the complete dissipation of what remains of my dignity.

He smiles.

Yup, my dignity is going in three, two…

‘You’ve knocked your breakfast off the bench, and you kind of look like a kangaroo caught in headlights,’ he says with that stupid, sexy accent, and that stupid, sexy smile.

‘Umm yes, yes I’m… I’m yes, no, I’m good,’ I stammer, scolding myself mentally for being so stupid.

Oh my god, he looks, um, so um… Flustered, much? I scoff at myself.

‘Um, who are you, and what are you doing here?’ I ask, trying to clean up my mess.

‘I’m Dominic Taumata, we have an appointment for eight-thirty. I’m the builder,’ he says as he leans against the door frame.

He smiles at me again and my mind turns to mush.

‘Oh shit! I mean, right! Crap, what time is it? I’m so sorry.’ Focus, Lizzy, jeez, I admonish myself.

If a sinkhole could appear right now and swallow me whole, I would really appreciate it.

Come on, Elizabeth, at least say something intelligent.

I look at him and he smiles again.

Yeah, nah, let’s just go with kangaroo-caught-in-headlights.

‘Don’t worry, it only just got to eight-thirty now,’ he says, still smiling at me.

Oh, for the love of god, stop smiling at me, please.

‘Are you sure you are alright? I can help you clean up,’ he asks.

‘No, sorry, I mean, I’m all good, I’ve got it,’ I say, trying not to look at him.

He’s still smiling at me.

Oh, my good golly gosh, that smile…

It’s making me weak at the knees.

I stand up, turn, and put the broken plate and my ruined breakfast in the bin.

Then I turn back to face him and dry my hands nervously on my shirt.

Shit!! That’s all I’m wearing!

An oversized white shirt that exposes my shoulder and, of course, my bra strap, and only just covers my arse…

Which, of course, would have been the first thing he saw: my arse in red lace underwear.

Oh well, on the bright side, at least I was wearing some.

He is still smiling.

Please stop smiling.

‘Right, well, the kettle has just boiled, here is a cup. The tea, coffee, and sugar are next to the kettle, and milk is in the fridge. Feel free to make yourself a cuppa while I get cleaned up,’ I say, trying to move without giving him more of a show.

‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

Don’t look at his lips, his beautiful lips.

Focus, Lizzy! I scold myself again.

He’s not saying anything, why is he not saying anything?

Why does he just stand there with a smile that makes my knees weak?

DOMINIC

She is beautiful. She doesn’t realise just how beautiful she is, or the effect she is having on me.

Her auburn hair, with wavy, loose curls, falls just below her shoulders, and her eyes—wow, piercing green.

Her lips look soft; they were lips I could happily claim.

I drop my A4 notebook on the counter to cover the growing need to take her; right here, right now.

I notice her breathing has quickened slightly and see her draw some deep breaths.

I watch as she blushes and licks her lips, then she bites her bottom lip as her eyes meet mine and she smiles before looking at the floor.

I watch as her hand moves to her neck; she seems nervous.

Her hands look small, delicate, and soft.

I wonder what they would feel like on my body with her lips on mine.

She looks completely and utterly beautiful and pure.

I have never wanted anyone that I have just met like I want her.

She has me completely mesmerised and speechless; I can’t look away.

She’s not helping my predicament, with her shirt exposing a red bra strap, and that arse!

Well, it looks really fucking good in red lace.

I’m fighting the urge to walk up to her, to claim her lips with mine, teasing her with my tongue and tangling my hands in her hair.

I need to hold her, not caring about anything or anyone except us.

How the hell am I supposed to concentrate with her around?

All I can see is her; her subtle moves, the way her breathing changes when I smile at her.

The way she touches her neck when she is trying to calm her nerves.

The way her green eyes sparkle when she smiles and blushes.

I can’t focus on anything else but her.

But why is she nervous?

The breeze through the kitchen window gently blows past her and her alluring smell hits my nose.

I walk further inside.

What is it about her?

Why do I need her?

I crave not just her body, but all of her.

Even though I don’t know her, I know I need her with me.

What the fuck dude! I scold myself.

Say something, don’t just stare at her perfectly beautiful lips—she’ll think you’re an idiot.

You’re a builder here to provide her with a quote.

Now focus on your job!

I mean, she’s probably not even single.

I bet she has some model-looking boyfriend or husband.

She might even be gay!

But I can’t deny that she looks even better when she blushes and nervously bites her bottom lip.

Yep, she has no idea just how beautiful she is.

I take a deep breath.

ELIZABETH

‘Thank you, I would love a cuppa,’ he says, removing his hat and running his hand through his dark brown hair.

His fringe lands perfectly on the side of his face, as he sizes me up.

My face is so red I can feel it glowing like sunburn.

Great first impression, Liz, he probably thinks you’re a complete idiot.

I start talking while walking backwards towards my room.

‘Right, well, I’ll be just a minute!’ I say as I hit the door frame. ‘Whoopsie daisy!’

Then I just stand there, looking at him, at a complete loss.

…One! Yep, my dignity has left the building.

It exited stage left, yelling, ‘Peace out, bitch!’

I’m such an idiot!

Focus, Liz!

‘Are you sure you are alright?’ he asks again.

All I can do is look at him and nod.

He moves towards me.

I quickly back into my room before he can come any closer.

‘Yeah, no, I’m all good, I just need a minute,’ I reply.

Just hurry up and close the goddamn door, woman!

You really need to get a hold of yourself, I whisper to myself as I lean back on the closed door, rolling my eyes.

Why does he have to smell so good?

Why does he have to be so goddamn good-looking?

And I’m so, well, plain and so, totally, not good enough for him.

At this point, I realise that I still have no idea how to behave around another man without permission, and not be fearful of punishment.

But I need to try; I can’t keep hiding forever.

I just need to try and be who I was before, right?

Too easy, right?

Shaking my head, I go into my walk-in closet and put on a pair of black denim shorts with the white button-up shirt.

I mean, he’s probably not even single.

I bet he has some model-looking girlfriend or wife or, even better, he might

be gay!

I walk into my en suite and look at myself in the mirror.

Really, Liz? You made yourself look like a complete loser, I tell my reflection.

Hello! There’s a hot guy in your kitchen, and you’re hiding here in your en-suite, arguing with yourself! I shake my head and roll my eyes at myself.

Dumb arse! I chuckle.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before appraising myself in the mirror again.

‘Right, let’s do this.’

Step 1. Get dressed. Already done, next.

Step 2. Brush hair and teeth.

Step 3. Deodorant.

Step 4. Remember where all the bats are hidden. (Yes, I have cricket and baseball bats hidden throughout the house.)

Step 5. Don’t freak out, just breathe and walk out there like a boss.

Step 6. Check to make sure I’m actually fully clothed first, and did I put deodorant on?

I look down and sniff myself at the same time; check and check.

Right, let’s walk out there, one foot in front of the other, and don’t trip!

I grab my house folder; I’m okay and I can do this, I’m ready.

I’m standing at my bedroom door, with my hand on the doorknob.

‘Open the door, Elizabeth,’ I whisper to myself.

‘You can do this, take a deep breath and just open the door.’ I nod.

‘I’m confident and strong. I can be anything and do anything I want,’ I mutter to myself, nodding my head.

I close my eyes, take a nervous, deep breath and open my eyes again.

‘Ready,’ I murmur.

I open my bedroom door.

‘Hello Dominic, I’m so sorry about earlier, I was in my own little world and forgot about the time,’ I say as I walk towards him.

He’s sitting at my kitchen bench, holding a cup in both hands as he turns to face me with a smile.

Damnit, that smile! It seems like a permanent fixture on his face.

I blush, bite my bottom lip, and look at the floor.

Crap! No hole to fall through!

I place my folder near him on the bench.

Taking a deep breath, I look back up to see him watching me.

Damn, he has beautiful, dark brown eyes.

Oh dear lord!

The path to temptation has never looked so… So perfectly delectable!

My body shivers, despite feeling hot enough to melt on the spot.

He chuckles as he places his cup on the counter.

‘Don’t worry about it, I have been greeted a lot… Umm, worse,’ he says as he tilts his head to the side and runs his hand through his hair.

I want to run my fingers through his hair as he claims my body.

I smile and blush as I turn around to make myself a fresh cup of tea.

How the hell am I supposed to focus on this when all I can think of is him?

I take a deep breath; mmm, he smells so good.

The way he moves.

The way he looks at me.

The way he smells.

I want him to walk up to me and claim my lips with his, teasing them with his tongue, with his hands in my hair. Oh god, am I even going to be able to sit without sliding off the chair?

I am in so much trouble.

I have no idea what to do when it comes to being around the opposite sex.

I wasn’t allowed to talk or even look at another man, and they too weren’t allowed to talk to or touch me without permission.

I was to be seen and not heard.

But that’s behind me, isn’t it? I mean, I should be able to talk to other people, even men, without fear of retribution.

I want to be intimate with someone.

I want to be intimate with Dominic, a man I don’t even know.

Maybe I should Google it?

I mean, surely. Stop, Liz.

Make yourself a cup of tea and when he leaves, have a shower.

A very cold shower. I have to laugh at myself.

DOMINIC

Wow, she is absolutely beautiful.

She has put her hair up with a clip, which makes her eyes and lips stand out even more.

Man, her lips are so perfect, and she just has to bite the bottom one and make it so much harder to maintain some sort of dignity.

I shift in my seat; damn work pants!

They are not good for growing… enthusiasm.

I look at her and smile and she smiles back, thank god I’m sitting down.

I glance at her hand: no ring.

Man, I hope she is single.

She turns around to make herself a cup of tea.

She is wearing shorts, not short-shorts, but still—her butt looks good; although it looked better in red lace. I take a deep breath, trying to focus on anything but her, but it’s not working.

Her body looks tiny.

I look her up and down and I notice scars.

I feel my chest constrict at the thought of her being hurt in an accident.

I watch her run her foot up the back of her opposite leg.

I imagine what they would feel like wrapped around me as I lift her up onto the bench, my hands holding her hips and squeezing as I pull her onto me.

My hands in her hair, kissing her hard, full of lust and desire.

I hold the cup in both hands and bring it to my lips, wishing it was her.

I can just make out the red bra through her shirt.

Oh, sweet Jesus, please, for the love of fucking god, be single!

And can I please grow the balls to ask her out?

ELIZABETH

I have managed to compose myself enough to make a fresh cup of tea.

I smile to myself before turning back to him.

‘Right, well, I’m Elizabeth, but you can call me Liz or Lizzy,’ I say as I bring the cup to my lips and blow before taking a sip.

He shifts in his chair and looks down at his cup before picking it up.

He looks up at me and smiles again.

Wowzers! I like his smile, I have to admit. It certainly has a magical effect on me,

Breathe Elizabeth, just breathe, I remind myself.

‘Hi Liz, I’m Dominic. We have an appointment regarding the building work you would like completed,’ I smile.

‘Thank you for coming to see me, Dominic. I have heaps of things I would like to show you and get your thoughts on,’ I say as my phone rings.

‘Sorry, I have to take this, just a minute,’ I pick up my phone.

‘Hello, Amber, sorry, I can’t chat. I’m in the middle of an appointment with the builder.’

‘No worries, can I call you back later? Or I’ll text you when I’m on my way.’ Amber replies.

I nod automatically as she talks, ‘Excellent, we’ll chat when you get here around noon. Thank you, Amber, bye for now.’

I hang up and turn back to Dominic.

Amber is my handler while I’m in hiding.

Now she is also helping me reintegrate back into society, something I’m still struggling with.

We have a code during calls that lets her know whether I’m OK, or I need her to intervene.

She is from Western Australian, like me, and works for the Australian Federal Police.

She is proud of her part-indigenous heritage—her dad is Aboriginal and her mum is Scottish.

They met while her mum was here on a holiday, and it was love at first sight.

Amber is funny, loyal, tough, and a force to be reckoned with.

I classify her as a very close friend even though it’s her job to protect me, as she treats me like a friend, not a witness.

She works with Bundaberg Police and no-one there, except for those who need to, know who she really is.

We both decided that I can’t have Amber with me twenty-four seven if I’m going back to work.

So when she’s at work, I try to go grocery shopping on my own.

Baby steps, right?

‘Sorry about that, Dominic. Right, as I was saying, lots of ideas,’ I say, getting my notebook out of my folder and sitting next to him.

Oh, my good golly gosh, he smells good!

He has his A4 notebook in his hand as well, and as he starts writing, I notice that he is left-handed.

His tattoo looks amazingly intricate, and from what I can see of his wristband, it has his family’s name on it.

I watch his hands and begin to wonder what they would feel like on my body.

Are they rough, or soft?

They look big and soft.

I imagine him lifting me onto the bench as his hands grab and squeeze my hips, before snarling in my hair.

I imagine his kiss, hard and filled with desire.

I start to imagine him slowly undressing me, his lips and hands on my body…

I grip my cup tighter, almost spilling my tea.

Focus, Liz! I mentally yell at myself.

Focus on the house, woman! You are a grown woman and you are engaging his services as a builder. Let’s get on with the appointment and focus on the fireplace.

A cold night, a warm fire, a nice rug with me on it, under him…

Oh crap! Just breathe, Lizzy, just breathe.

It’s okay!

He’s just a guy,… okay?

A really, really hot guy, sitting in my kitchen next to me.

Drink your tea, Elizabeth.

Meanwhile, if I grip this cup any tighter it will break.

I feel like a schoolgirl, sitting next to her high school crush in the back of the classroom.

Stop checking him out! I scold myself.

I take another sip of my tea.

‘Right, so there are a few things that need to be repaired or replaced entirely,’ I say, turning a page in my notebook. ‘I would like the deck extended and part of it covered.’

I look at him.

He looks up at me and smiles.

‘Right, let’s start at number one on your list and go from there, how does that sound?’ he asks.

I can’t help but get distracted by his beautiful eyes and lips again.

‘Elizabeth?’

‘Sorry, what?’ I blink myself back to reality.

‘Umm, yes, sorry. Yes, let’s start with item number one,’ I stammer, looking back down at my notebook. Just breathe.

‘Okay, item number one: The windows. I want the old timber ones removed and louvers installed, and stainless steel security screens added to all my windows and doors,’

I watch him write.

We sit for over an hour, going through more of my ideas and the plans I had drawn up.

Every now and then he would lean in a little closer, and my breath would catch in my throat.

I watch as he takes notes and moves his hand over the plans.

‘Would you mind emailing these to me?’ he asks, looking at the plans.

‘You can have those, if you like. I can print more.’

‘Thank you,’ he smiles at me.

My body shivers involuntarily, and I try to hide my hands when they start to shake.

I have a feeling he notices nonetheless, but he just smiles as his eyes move

over me.

I try to hide the scars on my arms.

He must find them, me, disgusting.

I show him the rooms at the front that have already been completed, along with my room and the en suite.

Then I show him the main bathroom and lounge, which I want to change.

‘I want to have a fireplace installed in that corner. Would it be possible?’ I ask.

‘Should be okay, I’ll just need to take some measurements. It will need new sheeting as it needs to be fire rated, unless you go with a wood heater,’ he replies, looking at me.

‘Wood heater?’ I enquire, lifting my eyes to meet his.

‘Personally, I would go with the wood heater. Less maintenance, and cleaner,’ he smiles at me.

I smile back and look away, embarrassed by my reaction to him, hoping that he doesn’t see my face flushed with colour, and sense my desire for him to reach out and touch me.

The fact that I really want him to take me to bed isn’t helping.

‘Okay, can you add that to your quote, please?’ I ask as my phone rings.

‘Excuse me, I’ll leave you to measure or whatever it is you need to do.’

He nods and begins to measure and look around.

I sigh, would I ever be good enough for him?

Even if we did share a night together, would I disappoint him?

With everything I have gone through I’m not sure of myself. I’m constantly second guessing myself.

Am I destined to be alone, unloved and untouched, till the day I die?

I walk into the kitchen to take the call.

DOMINIC

‘Hello, Elizabeth speaking,’ she says into the phone.

‘Hello Marshall, I’m good thank you, and yourself?’ She rolls her eyes.

‘Yes, I can talk, is everything okay? I did speak to David at QAS, and to my lawyer, they told me that everything has been submitted. I signed and submitted all my documents on Friday. Is there something wrong?’

She leans on the bench.

‘Lawyer? Is there something I missed?’

I watch from the corner of my eye.

She looks nervous, almost afraid.

What could have her looking that way?

Is it something to do with a family member?

Could it be an accident, and if so what kind of accident had she been in?

I watch her discreetly.

She is pale, hugging her body.

I suppress the urge to go to her, to pull her against me and hold her tight.

I wish I could remove all her worries and fears and let her shine.

‘That’s not fair, it was never a part of the agreement.’ Liz walks to her bedroom.

‘No, I’m sorry, I can’t meet with you. I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I really need to go. I have a visitor and I really need to get back to him,’ Liz pauses briefly.

‘I would appreciate it if you could contact my lawyer regarding any further issues.’ She pauses again.

‘No, thank you. Goodbye, Marshall.’

I hear her sit down on her bed, sigh and put the phone on her bedside table.

I know I shouldn’t be thinking what I’m thinking, but she is so beautiful, and so freaking hot.

The way she talks, moves, and smells—up until this stage I have resisted every urge to ask her out.

She is going through a break-up by the sounds of it, and judging by the scars, it’s not a good one.

I also get the feeling she has rejected Marshall’s invite for a ‘meeting’ more than once, and judging by the eye-roll, he won’t take no for an answer.

Could he be the one responsible for her scars?

Could he be the ex, trying to get her back?

I spend the next two hours with her going through the plans she had drawn up for the work to be done underneath her house, the deck extension and the kitchen.

It’s getting harder not to touch her, or just walk up and kiss her.

‘Well, I think we have covered pretty much everything,’ she smiles at me.

She looks me over and blushes when I catch her.

I need to stall the end of our appointment.

I can see in her eyes that she wants me, but there is also something stopping her.

I notice how her hands shake when I get too close.

I move to give her space, and let her come towards me.

I want her to trust me.

‘Why did you buy this house?’ I ask.

‘Umm, I loved it the first time I saw it. I was just sitting in a hotel room, and bought it on impulse.’

She smiles, but it seems forced, never reaching her eyes.

‘Well, you’re not from the area, so where have you moved from?’ I look at her enquiringly.

‘My last post was in Western Australia, but I needed a fresh start, so I packed up and here I am,’ Liz responds, her eyes on the floor.

‘Post? Are you in the Defence Force or Police?’

She chuckles.

‘No, I’m a paramedic. I’m on leave for the next five months, then I’m going back to work and study.’

‘What are you studying?’

‘I want to increase my skill set and advance my career, so I’m studying paramedic critical care.’

‘Is that something you’ve always wanted to do?’

‘Yep, ever since I was a kid,’ she replies, smiling at me.

Her eyes shine as she talks about her job. Yep, she’s definitely making it hard to leave.

ELIZABETH

‘Elizabeth.’ Oh god, my name sounds good coming from his lips.

‘Yes?’ I reply.

‘Can I ask why you want all the glass changed to safety glass? Some of the windows are brand new and have nothing wrong with them.’ He looks at me.

‘Personally, I don’t think you need to, and it would save you a lot of money.’

The curiosity in his eyes tells me he is being honest, and wants to help, but my fight-or-flight anxiety makes me a little cautious about his question.

Step four, remember where all the bats are.

Just breathe, Liz, I tell myself.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and open them again.

He is watching me closely.

‘I was burgled and it was, umm…’ I trail off.

Please, for the love of god, DON’T CRY!

‘Say no more.’ The concern in his voice matches his eyes.

I nod and look down at the deck.

It needs a clean.

‘I’ll work through all the notes, get some prices, and then I’ll have a quote for you in the next few days or so.’ I look at my watch and realise it’s noon already.

Ask him now. It’s now or never, I say to myself.

I decide to lower my defences and muster the courage to ask.

‘Um, Dominic, would you like something to eat? I seem to have kept you awhile,’ I ask him as we walk back into the kitchen.

Please say yes, please say you will stay. I want you to stay.

He smiles as he grabs his hat and sunglasses off the bench.

‘Thank you for the offer, but I should probably get going,’ he replies.

Rejection; it feels like a kick to the gut and I retreat behind my walls again.

My hands start to shake.

How could I be so stupid?

Why would he stay with me?

‘I’m so sorry, you’re right,’ I say, looking down at the floor, my hand rubbing

my neck.

‘You probably have someone waiting for you. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,’ I stammer, too embarrassed to look up.

My hand rubs the scar on my right wrist.

‘Hey, Elizabeth,’ Dominic takes a step towards me.

‘Yes?’ I ask, moving backwards, away from him.

I can’t even look at him, I’m too busy trying to hide my anxiety.

‘What have you got planned for this Saturday?’ he asks.

‘Just catching up with a friend,’ I reply.

‘A group of us are going up the beach for the day. BBQ, drinks, cricket and a few laughs. You and your friend should join us.’ He smiles, taking another step towards me.

‘Umm, I don’t know. I’m not good…’ is all I manage before a sudden stab of anxiety prevents me from saying anything else.

I stumble backwards, grab the door frame of my room and manage to look up at him.

He can tell I’m broken.

I can see it in his eyes.

His face is creased in a frown.

My panic escalates.

I tell myself to breathe, but I can’t, my chest hurts and I can’t focus.

Darks spots appear in my vision.

My body suddenly feels heavy, and I look back down and take a deep, shaky breath.

Amber, I need to call Amber.

I look up, my vision blurry. I can just make him out, taking a step towards me.

‘Help’ I whisper, as I try to reach for him.

‘Dominic’ I stumble towards him.

The last thing I hear is him calling my name, then everything goes black.

DOMINIC

Liz stumbles and calls out to me to help her.

I run over, and just manage to catch her before she hits the floor.

Shit! I shake my head.

What just happened?

We were talking and she asked if I was hungry, which I am but I didn’t want to push my luck.

Why would my refusal to stay cause her to panic?

It’s obvious that something has happened to her.

I have so many questions, who, what, when, where, and why, but I take a moment to still my mind and focus.

I’m starting to realise that it must have taken a lot of courage for her to ask if I wanted to stay for lunch.

Liz looks pale, but is breathing softly.

I sit with her for about ten minutes, just holding her.

I look at the scar on her collarbone and neck; I’ve noticed how she rubs at them when she is nervous. The scar on her right wrist: she rubs that when she starts to say something, but then stops.

The scars look bad, like they were from a really bad accident.

It’s not like someone could have done that to her on purpose, could they?

How could anyone do that to someone?

I find myself angry at the thought that someone could have hurt her on purpose.

Angry, because I wasn’t there to stop them and to protect her.

Could I ask her what happened?

Would she tell me?

I close my eyes, I feel bad for not accepting her offer.

But if I stayed, I wouldn’t have wanted to leave without trying to kiss her.

I remember seeing her watching me and feeling the tension between us.

Watching the way she moves, the way her fingers touched her lips.

The way her eyes shone even more when she really smiled.

I could happily have lost myself in them.

I take a deep breath and feel warmth spread through my body.

I have never felt anything like it before, and I want her to feel the same.

It’s crazy, I know.

We have only just met.

She smells amazing, like coconut, vanilla, and a soft hint of something floral, maybe jasmine.

Please, for the love of god, be single!

I don’t want to let her go, and this realisation scares the shit out of me.

I can’t explain it, but the pull is huge.

I move carefully, lifting her up and carrying her to her room, where I lay her down gently on the bed and carefully remove her hair clip.

I stand there for a moment, watching her, before I go and get a glass of water for when she wakes up.

I get a washer in her bathroom, dampen it, and dab her forehead, face, and neck.

Then I just watch her for a while.

She is so beautiful.

I sit down next to her, and when she starts to stir, I quietly say her name and brush the hair from her face.

ELIZABETH

What is that smell? Sawdust, why can I smell sawdust?

Sawdust mixed with deodorant, aftershave, and…

‘Elizabeth,’ a voice says. Who the hell is that?

‘Elizabeth,’ the strange voice says again.

I feel someone touch me as I come to.

I sit up quickly.

‘NO!’ I scream, ‘No! Please, don’t hurt me anymore!’

I shrink away, trying to shield myself from the incoming beating.

I’m breathing heavily, I can hear my heart pounding in my chest like it’s about to burst.

I look out from under my arms.

Where am I?

‘You’re okay, Elizabeth, you’re okay. Just take nice, easy breaths.’ The voice continues.

No, I’m not okay! Where am I?

I scan my surroundings.

I’m in my room, on my bed.

My clothes, my clothes!

I look down and touch my clothes, as I realise I’m not naked.

I look over my arms and legs, there are no new marks or cuts.

No blood.

I need to ring Amber.

The bat, I need to get to my...

‘Elizabeth, look at me,’ the voice pleads.

My body trembles.

‘Please look at me.’

I feel someone touch me, and I flinch.

I look up to see his eyes.

My whole body is shaking violently, and I feel ice-cold.

I realise it’s Dominic, the builder, touching me, that his is the voice talking to me.

He holds his hands up in front of me.

‘You are safe. You are okay, just look at me and breathe nice and easy.’

I nod as he slowly brings his hands down, resting one on my shoulder.

Wow, he’s even better up close, and I’m probably a mess.

Why does this have to happen to me?

There is a totally gorgeous man, sitting on my bed, in my room, and I make a complete fool of myself.

I’m sorry,’ I stutter, as the tears start to fall.

I feel so stupid and embarrassed.

I try to turn away, but he won’t let me.

‘Just keep looking at me,’ he says softly.

‘Breathe in and out, nice and easy.’ He smiles at me.

Why won’t the floor open up and swallow me whole?

‘Don’t apologise, you have nothing to be sorry for,’ he murmurs.

He is still holding my hands, and his eyes never leave mine.

Right now, all I want is for him to kiss me, I’m completely mesmerised by him.

‘How long was I out for?’ I ask.

‘About 30 minutes.’

‘Did you carry me to my bed? I don’t really remember much.’

‘Yes I did. I hope that’s okay.’

‘Thank you,’ I nod.

‘You’re welcome,’ he responds, his hands still holding mine.

I smile and he smiles back before handing me a glass of water.

We sit together for a long while, not saying a word.

My hands start to shake, and he takes the glass from me and holds them gently.

His thumb moves along my fingers as he reaches over and touches my cheek with his other hand.

I close my eyes as his fingers move along my cheek, tucking lose strands of hair behind my ear.

I can feel myself starting to calm down and breathe normally.

He doesn’t even know me, yet it feels like he knows exactly what I need.

His touch feels warm and safe.

It’s not until my phone vibrates on the bedside table that I notice the time.

I don’t even remember putting it on silent.

‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry!’ I groan.

‘What, why?’ he asks, incredulous, as he lets go of my hands.

‘The time, oh my god! I have kept you here. You need to be elsewhere and instead you’re here, babysitting me!’

The tears start to fall again.

‘Hey, look at me’, he says, gently.

‘I’m so stupid.’

‘No you’re not,’ he shakes his head.

I look at him and he smiles.

‘I don’t need to or want to be anywhere other than right where I am now,’ he smiles as he takes my hands again.

‘I’m so sorry...’

‘Elizabeth, stop, it’s okay,’ Dominic cuts me off before I can finish.

‘I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay here with you as long as you need me to.’

He moves closer to me and takes my face in both hands, tilting it up so I can see his eyes.

With his thumbs he gently wipes away my tears, smiling.

‘Elizabeth, it seems to me that you have been through something that still has a huge hold on you. I think you should give yourself time to heal. Now, I understand that it’s not easy letting go of things that still hurt you but...’

Dominic pauses, looking at me intently, and I can feel his gaze reaching right to the very depths of my soul.

I try to look away, but he makes me hold his gaze.

‘It doesn’t mean you won’t heal, in time.’ He smiles again.

I sigh as I look into his eyes.

I feel warmth spread through me, my nipples harden, and I feel an ache between my thighs.

Please kiss me.

I need to feel your lips on mine.

I need you to hold me.

I smile as I close my eyes, his hands are moving down to my neck.

His touch is relaxing my whole body, making me feel warm and safe.

Why can’t I take the lead and kiss him first?

Why don’t I have the courage to feel him against me?

I made a promise to myself to let someone in.

I plead with myself to let him in.

Opening my eyes, I see him still watching me, like he is silently asking for permission.

I moisten my lips with my tongue as he watches me.

His eyes find mine again and he starts to move in, my body filling with anticipation.

He’s going to kiss me, and I’m going to let him.

I part my lips.

My breathing quickens.

Is this what your first time is supposed to feel like?

He runs his thumb along my cheek.

‘ELIZABETH! Elizabeth, where are you?’ a woman’s voice calls.

‘Oh crap!’ Not now, please don’t come in.

‘ELIZABETH!? Fuck!’ Amber calls out again.

I hear her bag drop to the floor.

She is going to freak out when she comes through my bedroom door.

Dominic’s hands drop as he stands and turns, putting himself between the bedroom door and me.

I stand up behind him and move to his side.

‘Who is it, Elizabeth?’ he asks, his voice protective as he moves in front of me.

‘It’s okay, Dominic, it’s my…’ I manage before Amber barges through my door, almost running straight into Dominic.

‘Who the fuck are you?’ Amber demands, her hand moving automatically to her hip.

‘Who are you?’ he retorts, his voice hard as he pushes me further behind him.

Dominic stands his ground, his fists clenched, his posture tense.

‘Don’t push it,’ Amber’s voice is threatening.

‘Amber, it’s okay.’ I say, moving out from behind Dominic.

He instantly pushes me back behind him.

‘My, my, my. Now I know why you haven’t been answering your phone, or returning my messages.

Too busy with your builder, huh?’ She winks. ‘Go Lizzy!’

She laughs, all tension gone from her voice.

The whole time, Dominic has been standing in front of me, his arm preventing me from moving and Amber from getting to me. He stands there, listening, somewhat stunned by Amber’s abrupt arrival.

I am still standing behind him.

He reaches behind, pulling me closer to him and I find myself leaning against his back, holding onto his shirt. Usually I would be fearful of impending punishment but I feel safe right now. I just wish Amber would leave, right now!

My reassurances do not make Dominic back down, however, his demeanour is still tense and protective. He is still blocking my way, until I place my hand on his arm.

He turns to look at me.

I nod that it’s okay and he turns back to look at Amber.

He drops his arm but takes my hand and I don’t pull away.

He keeps himself between Amber and I.

I look over at Amber; far from stopping him, she is allowing him to stay between us.

‘Hi, I’m Amber, Lizzy’s best friend. I’m sorry for barging in and interrupting,’ she winks.

Oh my god, Amber, you’re not helping!

Dominic releases my hand to shake Amber’s, before taking mine again.

Oh, dear lord! I could really get used to his touch.

‘Amber, stop it, nothing is going on,’ I say, blushing beside Dominic.

Why am I blushing? I feel so stupid and my body starts to tremble.

Dominic picks up on my unease, grips my hand tighter and runs his thumb soothingly along my fingers.

I allow his soothing touch to calm me.

I take another deep breath and start to relax again.

Meanwhile, Amber is standing there, smiling at me.

‘This is Dominic. He is my builder and he was helping me,’ I falter, looking down, and then looking back at Amber.

Dominic squeezes my hand.

‘I kinda had a moment,’ I stammer.

His thumb caresses the scars on my hand.

I let his warmth spread through my body, restoring my calm a little more.

His touch feels so good.

Please, let me find it in myself to open up to him.

Amber’s smile fades and is replaced by a concerned frown.

‘Oh, hon, are you okay?’

She looks from me to Dominic as she moves closer.

His body stiffens as he tightens his grip on my hand.

I hang onto his, not wanting to let go.

Dominic looks at Amber and nods.

She brings her hands up in front of her, palms up, signifying that she isn’t trying to interfere.

I watch what is going on between them.

Then Amber looks at him and smiles.

‘Thank you for looking after her,’ she moves to hug me.

She looks down at our hands, then back up at Dominic, still smiling.

I look up at Dominic, too, and blush as he smiles at me.

‘You’re welcome, I’m just glad I was able to catch her,’ he responds, his eyes on mine.

‘I let my imagination run away with me there for a bit, didn’t I?’ Amber grins.

‘No worries, I’ll leave you both to it.’

He releases my hand and turns to me.

‘The offer still stands for this Saturday, for you both, if you’re up for it?’

I look at him, and he watches as I lick my lips and nervously bite my bottom lip.

I can feel myself blushing again.

Why the hell did Amber have to interrupt us?

‘Thank you, I will talk with Amber,’ I reply.

I see Amber out of the corner of my eye, moving backwards toward my bedroom door.

The smile on her face is huge.

‘There is nothing better than a day on the beach, sun, surf, and food,’ he flashes me a huge grin.

There’s that damn smile again!

Oh, dear lord!

I’ve gone weak at the knees.

Amber is standing , behind him, with two thumbs up and a pleading smile.

‘We’ll be there!’ She chimes in, with no idea about what the invite is for.

‘Okay, nine AM, Saturday, south entrance to the beach. Bring your own drinks and whatever you want to put on the barbie.’

We look at each other like there is no one else with us.

Dominic, on a beach, with no shirt on…

Oh, dear lord, it got hot all of a sudden!

I blush and sway slightly, and Dominic reaches out a hand to steady me.

I’m all class, I know, but what the hell, I already lost my dignity.

‘I don’t have a car that can drive on the beach,’ I blurt out suddenly, feeling somewhat flustered.

‘I’ll pick up both of you, about eight-forty-five,’ he replies.

‘Lizzy and I will be ready,’ Amber seems very chipper and winks at me. ‘Thank you for the invite.’

‘Excellent!’ He smiles at me.

‘I’ll even give her a list of food to prepare,’ Amber beams.

Go away, Amber.

‘Sounds great!’ Dominic beams in return.

His eyes have barely left mine; we smile at each other again.

I suddenly realise his hand is still on my waist, and I’m really starting to feel hot and bothered.

What the hell is going on with me?

I feel my chest rise and fall with heavy breaths.

All I can think of is Dominic, on a beach, no shirt, the water beading off him and that amazing, makes-my-knees-weak, perfectly sexy smile.

Oh, dear lord, I’m so, so out of my depth, I have no idea what to do.

I’m not asking Amber, either, she will be absolutely no help at all.

Her mind has already hit the gutter and I’m not far off.

I think the two years of being around Amber has rubbed off her dirty mind on me.

I close my eyes, trying to focus.

Cold shower, music, washing clothes, cooking food in a hot oven.

Beach, water, hot sun, no shirt. I need a cold shower—a very cold one.

I open my eyes, giving up trying to focus. It’s never going to happen while he is touching me.

‘Well, I should get going, I have to get this quote done,’ he says, still smiling.

‘Yeah’ is all I manage as I take a small step backwards.

Amber is absolutely loving whatever is going on between Dominic and I.

‘Well, I’ll be in the kitchen making food. Bye, Dominic,’ she grins.

‘Bye, Amber,’ Dominic says, but he’s still looking at me.

Amber leaves the room and I move to follow her.

‘I’ll walk you to your car, I blush.

Shit! That’s not what I wanted to say.

My body is screaming at me to let him in, but I still can’t find the courage to kiss him.

‘I’d like that,’ he smiles, as he brushes a lock of hair off his forehead.

We walk past Amber in the kitchen, where she is starting to make a mess, trying to cook.

Dominic grabs his book, hat, sunnies and keys off the bench and says goodbye to Amber again.

Amber smiles broadly and waves.

‘Take your time, I’m all good here!’ She winks.

I roll my eyes at Dominic and he smiles at me as he turns and walks out

the door.

I shoot Amber a what the fuck look, but she just shrugs her shoulders and smiles.

Then she comes around the bench and practically pushes me out the door.

‘Go, Liz, I’ll manage not to burn the water, I promise,’ she chuckles and turns back to the kitchen.

Amber can’t cook to save her life, but she likes to pretend, occasionally.

I think she messes up on purpose so that I will take over.

Shaking my head at her, I turn and walk towards Dominic, who is waiting at the top of the stairs.

I follow him downstairs, replaying the events of the morning in my head.

I miss the bottom step, stumble forward and he catches me.

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ he asks, his eyes searching.

I focus on his lips, it would be so easy to…

Please, just once let me kiss someone I actually want to kiss.

I nod, feeling utterly embarrassed.

I’m a smart person, but socially awkward and completely out of my depth with the opposite sex.

I look down and close my eyes, his hands are on me again.

I shiver, breaking out in goosebumps despite the warm weather.

I open my eyes to see his book lying on