TRAUMA IN THE FAMILY: A handbook for traumatized families

By W. John Roberts

"TRAUMA IN THE FAMILY" is written as a self-help book to assist Families and close relatives to try and understand how their family member or close loved one can be affected by being exposed to a traumatic event, which can change their lives and future behavior and normal reactions. A couple of second's e

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Jul 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781637672341

W. John Roberts

Ex Serviceman and sufferer from P.T.S.D. for 40 years. Trained and qualified as therapist and also Trainer on subject of P.T.S.D. Worked as Trauma Therapist for 20 years in private practice. see my web stite for more information at http://www.familytraumacentreuk.org.uk/ reviews are available on web site Written as a easy to understand with minimum of explainations to help you understand the condition better as knowledge is power.

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 W John Roberts.

Paperback: 978-1-63767-235-8

eBook: 978-1-63767-234-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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Contents

What is Trauma?

PTSD – How It Affects People’s Lives

Family Trauma Support Group

Common Indicators of PTSD Problems

The Dysfunctional Family

Children

The Holistic Approach

Family Trauma and Addictions

Bullying and Its Traumatic Effects on a Family

Treatment of Trauma

Introduction

TRAUMA in the Family has been written as a look in-depth at some important aspects of the condition known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD for short. The long-term effects of living with a trauma survivor has been a neglected area, and it has not been seen as the most important support tool that the sufferer has at all times, but it is too important not to be used as an active tool in the survivor’s recovery.

It is a field that I feel has been widely neglected over the years. What has tended to happen in the past is that the professional’s main concentration has been on the primary sufferer, and very little attention has been paid to the other family members who have to deal with this condition. The knock-on effects that it has on the family on a day-to-day basis have been forgotten. The wide spectrum of the effects of trauma is felt in all families and partnerships and in any other emotional relationship that the trauma survivors have.

Much modern research, particularly in the USA, has shown this to be a major factor in the emotional support network that the sufferer has. It is not uncommon for previously well-functioning marriages or partnerships to break up and for family members to become increasingly alienated from each other. The results of these traumatic breakups or breakdowns can then lead to further suffering as secondary traumatization.

The trauma sufferer can, therefore, end up in a continuous downward spiral that seems to make the prospect of recovery more and more remote, making it harder and harder to break out of this downward spiral.

This book is an attempt to give important information to help lessen the traumatic and destructive effects of this ripple effect on the intimate personal and family relationships of the sufferer. Experience has shown, and it will be looked at later in the book, how families can with the right information and guidance both lessen negative support and deliver good positive active support that will aid the sufferer’s recovery and also lessen the dramatic impact of the sufferer’s traumatic experience and reaction on the family relationships.

Closeness and intimacy are key requirements for a well-functioning human relationship. Unfortunately, survivors of trauma often lose their capacity for such closeness after their traumatic experience.

Having been a personal sufferer from this condition for over 30 years, I have seen how it almost destroyed my own family and the ones I hold near and dearest.

Therefore, I know from personal experience only too well how powerful and destructive this problem is. I consider myself very fortunate that I managed to get some support that enabled my family and myself to start our recovery from this enveloping disorder.

I was fortunate to get some of the help required, but my younger brother was not so fortunate. He suffered a traumatic personal attack over ten years ago, and as a direct result of not having been given any help or treatment for the PTSD type of problems (he was misdiagnosed as suffering from depression and given anti-depression drug therapy), he then used the same drug he was given as a treatment to enable him to commit suicide.

It was as a direct result of these, and other experiences, that I have dedicated the rest of my life to trying to help other sufferers and their family members to find their own recovery. Hopefully, this will prevent someone else going over 30 years with such a destructive condition or even resorting to taking their own life.

The one group I feel lose out most of all from this disorder is the children, both as primary and secondary sufferers. The children are the silent victims who most often do not have a voice to be heard. Everybody seems to think they will bounce back unharmed from the traumatic experiences that they have undergone, so I have chosen to highlight their special needs in this book.

1

What is Trauma?

Trauma – a deeply distressing experience (Oxford Dictionary on the Internet)

We are all individuals, and we all experience life differently. It is, therefore, not surprising that when we encounter difficult and sometimes dangerous situations we all react differently.

This is because each of us sees or perceives the events differently, and very much individually. Hence, not all horrendous events are seen as traumatic. So trauma is very much in the eyes of the beholder—one person’s trauma is just another event to someone else.

One question frequently asked is, Why do some people get PTSD and other people do not get PTSD? There are lots of theories in answer to this question, and there has to date not yet been a definitive answer. The theories that are cited are complicated and are no help to a person who has the disorder. However, a current theory is that at the time of the trauma the person, for whatever reasons, is unable to confront and handle the entire experience so the mind pushes or locks it away from his or her current awareness so that it is repressed from current thoughts so that they can manage on a day-to-day basis. The same theory then says that when another event, which is a trigger to the original event, comes along in the sufferer’s life, the person’s mind is reminded of the original trauma and reverts and reacts as if the original event were happening again, and they are still in the middle of it all. This then makes it more difficult to deal with the current situation, and they try to repress that again. If the situation goes on long enough, the person then reacts to all sorts of situations and feelings in their environment as though they are in the middle of a trauma.

According to this theory, everyone does this to one degree or another when faced with an overwhelming situation. It becomes a major problem when someone is reacting to the present as though it were part of their past or when someone is repressing most situations and dealing with very few in the present. So it is impossible to predict what a person will have difficulty coping with!

We all know people who seem to function better under stress and pressure, and it appears to have no damaging effects on them, and they will cope well with any unusual traumatic event in their lives. We also know many people who cannot cope or deal with any unusual stress, and they will react badly when confronted with a unusual traumatic event. Most people will not get PTSD from everyday stresses and usually cope well in most situations.

However, it is the unusual and unexpected traumatic events that people experience that can