Please Rate Your Satisfaction and Other Unsettling Stories

By Stephanie Anne

Have you ever wondered about the benefits of staring directly into the sun? Have you ever wondered if your boss was replaced by an alien? And have you ever wondered why should you never give sharp objects to robots? Wonder no more! Please Rate Your Satisfaction is the sci-fi short story collection that will satisfy your cravings for aliens, robots, and mad scientists. Written by a literary mad scientist whose work has affectionately been described as "disturbing", this collection strives to make you uncomfortable. But don't worry – if you need a break, there's a couple of robotic Shakespearean sonnets to cleanse your palette before your next journey into the darkest parts of outer space and the human mind. And remember, when you've finished reading, please rate your satisfaction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephanie Anne
• Release date: Jul 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201778828

Stephanie Anne

Hello, dear readers. Thank you for stopping by. My name is Stephanie Anne and I am an oddball extraordinaire. My writing assistants include my cats Minerva, Finn, and Bubs. Unfortunately, they like to sleep on the job. I have a love for all things strange and monstrous and I hope you do to. If you like disturbing horror stories and unsettling tales of science-fiction, you’ve come to the right place. Do stay in touch.

Book preview

Introduction

Good evening, dear reader,

I assume that you’re reading this book in the evening, perhaps before you go to bed. No doubt you’re looking for something that will give you thrilling dreams. You want to dream of adventure, am I right? I imagine you found your way to these stories because you wanted to read about heroic robots, noble aliens, genius scientific discoveries, and thrilling journeys beyond the stars. I’m sorry, but you won’t find that here. Yes, you’ll find robots, aliens, mad scientists, and the like, but they’ll only make you uncomfortable. You have been warned.

Sweet dreams.

Much love,

Stephanie Anne

Everything is Fine

Howdy, Bobby! How’s everything looking this morning?

Everything is fine, Mr. Isaacson.

’Course it is, ‘course it is. Say, Bobby, meant to ask you about this this morning but, well, it’s Saturday. And you know how the missus loves to give us chores on a Saturday?

Of course, Mr. Isaacson.

Well, he sighed, holding up a tablet in front of the robot’s face and giving it a little shake, found a little problem on here. Maybe you could explain it to me? Y’see, last night, around, oh, 2am according to the log... well, Bobby, have you noticed any glitches in your programming? You had a mighty big hiccup last night. Just want to make sure you’re alright, that’s all.

Bobby’s synthetic eyes glazed over as he quickly analyzed his operating systems.

Everything is fine. There was a software update last night, Mr. Isaacson.

Ah, that’s alright, then. That’s fine. Say, Bobby, the missus wanted me to ask you to water the flowers before lunch. You got time for that?

Of course, Mr. Isaacson. I have already completed the list that I was given this morning.

’Course ya did, ‘course ya did. I tell ya, you were worth every penny, Bobby. Don’t know what we’d do without you, he said as he patted the robot on the arm. Bobby just stood there, unblinking.

I will water the flowers and then I will prepare lunch, the robot said.

Bobby passed through the garage on his way to the garden, grabbing a watering can before he stepped outside. The weight sensors in his artificial arm told him the can was already full, so he began tending to the flowers immediately.

Roscorp was the manufacturer of some of the best robots in the country. Their SC-R model was, by far, the most efficient. Robots like Bobby were in high demand. They were perfectly suited to household chores and family life. In fact, just about everyone on the Isaacsons’ street had a model SC-R.

Morning, Bobby! called a voice from over the hedges.

Good morning, Mr. Capek.

Say, Bobby, I don’t mean to question what my neighbours have asked you to do... but I think you grabbed the wrong can there, son. You’re watering those flowers with gasoline. Stinking up my lawn... You, uh, got a screw loose in there or something?

Bobby paused and analyzed his operating systems. He found no flaw.

Everything is fine.

Well... well okay, then... I’ll uh... I’ll make sure to stop by after lunch and, uh, have a talk with Fred about... about the smell...

Bobby quickly and efficiently completed his task before heading inside to prepare lunch for the Isaacsons.

Since they were designed for household help, the SC-R model had top-of-the-line auditory receptors. That way, any family member could call for their robot from any part of the house and their dutiful, synthetic servant would hear and respond. Because of this exceptional hearing, Bobby could hear Mrs. Isaacson’s words quite clearly before he even reached the kitchen. He heard every whispered word she said to her husband.

I’m just worried, Fred. They said on the news... they say it’s bad. The whole company’s been compromised.

You’re overreacting, dear. It’s probably nothing.

"But Fred, this is serious. We have a Roscorp robot! You said so yourself, you noticed something went wrong in the night. What if Bobby has the virus?"

I already spoke to Bobby. There’s nothing to worry about.

"But all those robots turning against their owners... Fred, if that starts to happen here, in this neighbourhood... I don’t even want to think about it."

Then don’t. Ah! There you are, Bobby! We were just talking about you. How’re you doing?

Everything is fine.

There, you see?

That’s just what they’re programmed to say, Mrs. Isaacson whispered angrily.

He merely shrugged and turned his attention back to the newspaper. Mrs. Isaacson busied herself by setting up the table for lunch. All the while, she kept her eyes on Bobby. Even