Free And Holy Where You Are

By Msgr. Dennis M. Regan

Welcome to the adventure!

When I was growing up, the idea that being Catholic was an "adventure" was the farthest thing from my mind. You just "were". And, pretty much, memor

• Language: English
• Publisher: Authors Press
• Release date: Jul 7, 2021
• ISBN: 9781643145792

Book preview

Welcome!

I hope this is the beginning of a journey together which will take an open and honest look at how followers of Jesus can enjoy more fully the freedom which should invigorate our daily lives. I am a practicing and joyful Roman Catholic priest with an earned doctorate in theology and many years of service in parishes, theological education, pastoral formation, and spiritual counseling. Together we will look at some significant current and at times controversial issues, situating them in light of the refreshing freedom God wants for each of us. A grace for which I have always been thankful is one that unexpectedly surged in my heart on the day after I was ordained as a priest—freedom to witness to the importance of every person I hoped to serve by conveying God’s unconditional love for each of us.

For many Catholics, including the religious culture in which I was raised, there was excessive emphasis on saving your soul by keeping the rules taught by the Church. Although not all the rules were easy to keep, it was a clear and focused message easy to preach and teach. Fortunately, since we have always lived in God’s love, people’s generosity often produced holiness and sanctity. But keeping rules for most people did not promote experiencing the joy and adventure of freedom! Hence for many committed religious people, a missing ingredient was enthusiasm. The Spirit seemed to use the Second Vatican Council (early 1960s) to uncover intriguing challenges, inviting each of us to a greater maturity and deeper spirituality. We were no longer along for the ride but must become a vibrant and living community of disciples of Jesus—a Pilgrim Church peopled by co-creators with God of a redeemed but unfinished world.

Why did I choose to title these reflections FREE AND HOLY WHERE YOU ARE: The Daily Life of a Catholic? Because our everyday lives as Catholics is truly God’s invitation always to be free (self-directed as a follower of Jesus and as a member of the community of faith which is his body). Since Jesus is always walking with each of us every moment of our lives (Do you believe this?), the call to be free happens where we are: everyday life, work, family, friends, hopes, fears, dreams, disappointments, opinions, decisions, failures, successes, aging, growth—the stuff of life. So let us go forward reflecting on some of the things which make up our lives. But please let us read and consider them with freedom as our filter. No matter the specific topic, these examples all embody aspects of the freedom which is our gift. Experience through each how daily life calls upon our personal freedom to interact in a creative and exciting way. This is the challenge and the adventure.

We are living on earth at a singularly wonderful time. My final offering at the end of this book is Emerging Creation which briefly begins with the astrophysical science that I have never seen in a theological treatment. Our planet, after billions of years, became at last hospitable not only for the incarnation of Jesus, but human beings had developed as capable of participating in an exciting mission—that each of us could respond to God’s love and presence by accepting that we are co-creators of a redeemed but unfinished world.

Dennis M. Regan

Immersion in God

I’m sure we have all seen fish gliding through water—perhaps at home in our own fishbowl or in a public aquarium. It can be calming and almost mesmerizing at times. We can see that the fish are immersed in the water, completely covered, but it’s even more than that because their bodies are mostly water and water travels in and out through their gills. Every part of them is touched by water, inside as well as out.

I have heard no better image to express how we, as human beings, are immersed in God. God surrounds us and penetrates our being internally, as well. The great mystic, Meister Eckhart, observed that everything flows from God, yet remains in God. God in all and all in God. Our being made in God’s image and likeness is complemented by a deep and inescapable presence—whether or not one believes in God’s existence. It’s just what a human being is. God doesn’t simply give us life, call us by name, and then go off somewhere and leave us alone. Always respecting us as unique persons and our personal freedom, God’s delight is to be among the children of men. So why would God ever leave them?

My favorite scriptural sentiment enshrined in our liturgy is prayed as part of Preface VI of the Sundays in Ordinary Time (cf. also Acts 17:28), For in you we live and move and have our being. What we are trying to understand and then live every moment is fully expressed in those words. In God we live (every second of our lives), and move (every thought and action), and have our being (existence always flowing into us). This is not something simply to read and then move on. We cannot pay too much attention to this most profound and basic reality. The implications should change our lives—bringing meaning, hope, direction, peace, and freedom.

Are there ways to put this into practice so we don’t forget? I’m sure there are many, but let me share something that helps me and many others I know. We believe that God’s love and presence means God is constantly aware of the thoughts, emotions and desires, and actions of each of us at every moment. Make this real personally by frequently reminding ourselves that "God sees with me through my eyes; God hears with me through my ears." When we are upset with someone, blessing someone, praying for something, frustrated, fearful, hopeful, rejoicing over something, frightened—and whatever else is in our conscious mind—God is already with us, sees and hears with us, and knows. We don’t have to tell God about it, just a quick thought between the two of us accomplishes everything that matters. No one understands us more completely, is more on our side, wants even better for us than we ourselves do, and always loves us no matter what. Trust God.

Why Gay?

Of all the major areas of Catholic teaching, it seems to me that sexuality needs the most attention. That may be for many, if not countless, reasons. In these reflections, we will consider a number of questions, clarifications, opportunities, critiques, alternatives, concerns, etc. to keep going a discussion on how best to let God’s marvelous yet challenging gift of sexuality enhance our freedom. We begin with a commonly misunderstood question: Why gay?

For our purposes today, let’s submit that there are basically two sexual orientations possible for a human being—heterosexual (opposite sex attraction) or homosexual (same-sex attraction). Those sharing the latter often accept the appellation: gay. We will use this term to refer both to men and to women who have a same-sex orientation. Not simply to be politically correct nor to imply a preferential judgment, let’s use another simple term to refer to those who are heterosexual—straight. Though there could be questions and distinctions with what has already been said, our purpose here is to consider only: what causes one’s sexual orientation, whether toward the same or the opposite sex.

To be fully a part of this endeavor, you must be willing to do any background research—if you want to explore or contest the sources of what I am presenting as accepted fact (my relying on those who are highly regarded in whatever field is treated: theology, scripture, science, psychology, etc.) This can easily be searched in Google. Very few issues in life are definitively settled, but I will seriously attempt not to over or understate the sources or conclusions I will share with you. Please remember always that I am not trying to sell you anything! It is a further illumination of truth that we seek together, not a validation of my opinion (or for that matter, your opinion either!). Are we open enough and up to the challenge?

To the question at hand. Over the centuries many people have assumed being gay was a personal choice or preference and, therefore, could be changed. That is, God made and willed that everyone be straight but some chose to be gay and we must help or demand that they, too, become straight. (This is not some philosophical point. Human beings have been bullied, burned, or murdered for this.)

Over the last few decades, responsible scientific studies have shown that sexual orientation for anyone is determined in the womb, before birth, and before free choice is possible. Lady Gaga’s song Born This Way is surprisingly accurate. Gays deserve no condemnation; straights deserve no credit. No individual chose her/his orientation.

So what about the 5 to 8 percent of any human population who are gay? A minority, yes. Misunderstood by much of our society, yes. Should they follow straight rules, date, and marry the opposite sex? No (though fear of prejudice has led many to this tragic and self-denying conclusion).

Some homework for each of us: imagine your beloved, popular, and terrific son or daughter is gay. The hateful and destructive prejudice of so many in their school, church, business, or society is ready to brand and exclude them from normal life. Suicide has looked good and has been chosen by many. God must be so proud of us for upholding God’s plan. Don’t you know some friend or relative who is gay? I do and have in my ministry and sat with many more wonderful gay people. They are our children, too, our relatives, our fellow believers, shouldering a burden over which they had no choice and made worse by our complicity in an ignorant and threatened society.

The New Normal

In these days of considerable change on so many levels of life we’ve probably heard the phrase the new normal. I’m not so sure that the old normal was as great as we remember, but it’s obvious that fairly recent events and circumstances are driving a number of people crazy! Let’s look at a few—job uncertainty or unemployment, middle class income relatively stagnant for more than two decades, 401(k)’s reducing savings for many, poverty still present even in our society, government and politicians seeming not to be up to the challenges, scandals in the church, unforeseen or denied climate changes worldwide. Because our purpose here is to develop attitudes which increase our personal freedom, it might be useful to consider some of the effects generally, and then individually.

Life for all of us is greatly influenced by the world which lies just outside our door. We can feel overwhelmed by so many changes on so many levels. Some people have been tempted to stop paying attention to the news, which I don’t think is the answer. Hope is a virtue which was always necessary as part of the old normal of daily living and is even more demanded by the new normal which we really cannot avoid. We must realize the strengths that will still see us through—our own abilities and the support of family and friends, solid institutional structures which have survived even greater challenges over the years, the continuous presence of God for whom human evil (and strength) are no surprise.

Add to that environment the personal aspects of our lives. Perhaps we, too, are facing job insecurity or inadequate income. Maybe our parents are becoming more dependent on us, or grown children can’t find meaningful work, or an unexpected or chronic illness can’t be ignored. We’ve forgotten that worry accomplishes no good at all. It only wastes our time and saps our energy, distracting us from hope, courage, and action. Really, all problems ultimately come from within. The factors we’ve been observing are really challenges—but it’s our attitude toward them which lets them become problems—weighing us down, paralyzing us. This is neither semantics nor smarmy word tricks. We must see them always as challenges which then can activate our creativity, hope, and spirit of cooperation.

Let’s take just one example of what for many has become the new normal. One’s grown child can’t find work and he/she asks to move back home. The empty nest is put on hold! They and we never expected this, and it changes so much—for the young person as well as the parents. We might take them back, but it diminishes our freedom and theirs if we welcome them back as our child! There should be honest and ongoing discussion with her about respecting schedules, helping out regularly, and contributing financially to some degree. He will have to make sacrifices in taking seriously his responsibilities and realizing your home is not a bachelor pad (and no girlfriend staying overnight!). Everyone’s space must be respected. This can be a great opportunity for all involved to grow in freedom and maturity, if no one lets a challenge become a problem.

Perhaps there should be one more beatitude added to the list Jesus gave us: Blessed is the person who can increase their freedom by seeing good possibilities in unexpected change!

Our Pilgrim Liturgy

One of the terms popularized at the time of Vatican II—well over fifty years ago—was the Pilgrim Church. Born of humility, it acknowledged that the Roman