Not Everyone Wants A Hug

By Tony Richens-Smith

Do you wish your dog could tell you what's wrong? Do you wish you could understand why they don't want to play with other dogs? Do you want to have a better relationship with your dog? Are you frightened of dogs but wish you weren't? Are you fed up of books you don't understand?

What if:
• You could understand what your dog is trying to tell you.
• You knew how to help your dog, just by looking at them.
• You were able to meet dogs outside without being scared of them.
• You had a best friend who also happens to be a dog.

Then this is the book you need. It will show you how to read your dog's facial expressions and body language correctly, so you know what they are trying to tell you. It explains dog behaviour in an easy to understand way, supported by over 50 illustrations and pictures. There are also practical exercises to help develop your skills (in a totally safe way).

This book is for everyone who:
• Loves dogs.
• Doesn't want to be scared of them.
• Wants to understand them better.
• Wants to rebuild the bond with their best friend.

Written by Tony Richens-Smith, an accredited behaviourist with many years of professional experience working with private clients and rescue charities. Tony has a firm belief that education and understanding is essential for dogs and humans to live in harmony together. His successful behaviour business continues to help families build strong and positive bonds with their dogs, using current scientific advances, empathy and respect.

In this book, you will learn:
• How dogs think.
• What your dog is trying to tell you.
• How to communicate in a way you both understand.
• Why your dog does what he does.
• Why not all dogs want a hug or to play with other dogs.
• What happens when they get scared.
• How you can help your dog to cope with life.
• What is stress and why it's not all bad.
• What motivates your dog.
• What to do when "it all goes wrong".
• How you can unlock your dog's curiosity.
• How to meet strange dogs safely.
• How to recognise the things your dog hates.
• How to reconnect with your four (or three) legged best friend.… and lots more.

What are you waiting for? Come with me now on a journey of discovery and see the world through the eyes of a dog …

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tony Richens-Smith
• Release date: Jun 28, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393085317

Book preview

Copyright © Tony Richens-Smith 2021

Illustrations and Cover Art by Mandy Richens-Smith

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author. An exception is made expressly for the use of brief quotations to be used in articles, reviews or other pages which cites both the book title and author.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained in this book, the author assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for any damages which may result from the use of the information presented in the book.

The moral right of Tony Richens-Smith to be recognised as the author has been asserted.

Imprint: Independently Published

This book is dedicated to all dogs

Let me ask you a question. How do you feel about dogs?

If your answer is I love them, I am terrified of them, I have one, I want one, I had one when I was younger or anything similar, then this book is for YOU.

Dogs are not people, but they are also not robots. They may be different from us, but they are thinking and feeling animals... just like us.

By learning to see the world through the eyes of a dog, we can rediscover the connection to our ancestral best friend and live together in harmony.

Join me on a journey of discovery.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Writing this book has been many years in the making. If I tried to thank everyone who helped me on my journey, it would fill another book and I know I would still forget someone important. So, to everyone who has supported, generally put up with me and been a positive influence in my life... Thank you!

Of course, there are specific groups of people I must thank. My mum and dad who started me off on my journey (in more ways than one). All my family and friends, for putting up with my crazy ideas and for just being there. All my colleagues (in and beyond the dog world) and the most dedicated people I know working in rescue, your friendship and support means more than you will ever know.

Special mention goes to my (not so little) children - Ben, Amber, Mary, John Joe. You kept me going, even when life had other ideas, and I couldn't wish for a better family. I really don't know what to say about my amazing wife. Not only do her fantastic illustrations bring this book to life, but her levels of patience and support go way beyond our vows. Mandy, you are quite simply the best!

Finally, but possibly most importantly, I want to thank every dog that ever touched my life. Without them, this book would never have been written.

FOREWORD

By Andrew Hale BSc

Most people who have a dog as a companion want to be the best carer they can be. Caring for members of our own species can be tough enough, but trying to work out what our dogs really need from us can be very difficult. This is made even harder by the vast amount of information available online and in the media, and with much of it being contradictory we can easily find it overwhelming searching for the best advice.

The reason for there being such a broad spectrum of advice is our historic focus on behaviour as something we need to judge, label and then unilaterally seek to change. If simply creating and/or changing behaviour remains our only aim, then of course there will be 101 methods and just as many tools to do that. Hence the plethora of information on the subject.

However, things are changing. A modern, science led approach is allowing us to examine behaviour more from the dog’s point of view: we have now been gifted the opportunity to step into the emotional experience of our dogs and learn what is really driving their behaviour in the first place.

In this beautifully written book, Tony takes this modern approach and invites the dog carer to join him on a carefully thought-out exploration of the latest knowledge. With the help of Scruffy, Tony keeps the dog’s care and support needs at the heart of everything. With an easy to read and flowing prose, Tony describes the latest understanding of dog behaviour and uses practical examples as well as personal stories to guide the reader through all the important considerations of being a dog carer.

Tony has cleverly created a text which not only highlights the dog’s unique characteristics but also explores the many things that unite the two species and that have contributed to the special bond we seek to create.

Not everyone wants a hug, but everyone who cares for a dog will benefit from this excellent book.

Andrew Hale is a UK Certified Animal Behaviourist and Trustee at the Association of INTODogs. He is also the consultant behaviourist for Pet Remedy.

INTRODUCTION

Down through the ages, dogs have held a special place in our hearts. From the very first time ancestors of the dog were brave enough to share human food and shelter, a special bond was born. A connection between two different species which might never have been repeated. They have been our protectors, our hunting partners, our workers and our truest companions for thousands of years - no wonder they have been called our best friends.

We don’t know when dogs and people first connected, our best guess currently (based on archaeological evidence) is somewhere between 14,000 and 30,000 (or more) years ago. We also don’t know how our species bonded - some scientists believe our ancestors trapped and raised wolf cubs to be used as protection and through inter-breeding they became less aggressive and more dog-like. Others think dogs and wolves came from a common ancestor, a line that split because a genetic mutation caused some animals to be less afraid of humans or be more inquisitive than those without the mutation. Those with the inquiring gene moved closer to human fires, scavenged on food scraps and through natural breeding, became more dog-like, while those who remained wary of humans and stayed away from the fires, became wolves. We will probably never know for sure, but for us it does not matter. It is enough to know that the lives of dogs and people have been connected for a very long time. Did you know dogs were the first animal domesticated by humans (before cows, horses, chickens etc.)? That is a long history.

Unfortunately, the dogs we know today bear little resemblance to their ancestors. For hundreds of years, we have messed around with their genes, changing their appearance and temperament to suit our needs and whatever is fashionable at the time. In fact, some breeds have changed so much they are nothing like they were, even a few hundred years ago. As a species, we seem to have forgotten exactly what we want our dogs to be, some have become extensions of their owners (dressed up and carried as accessories by celebrities), others have had their facial appearance or entire body shape altered to fit the perfect ideal by certain organisations. Even in everyday families, we expect dogs to just fit into our life and much like Victorian children were, be seen but not heard, not able to express their natural behaviour and just be a dog.

My first dog arrived when I was a baby. She was a black Labrador pup who came from the midwife. She was my closest friend growing up, but she was still a dog. We were always told to stay away from her when she ate her food, were told off if we tried to climb on top of her and if she bit or growled at us, we were immediately asked what did you do?. It may have been the 1960s and my parents were not hippies or anything, but they understood what dogs were capable of and taught us to respect them all, not just ours. These days the internet is full of funny videos and photographs of children climbing on dogs, pulling their ears, lips, tails etc. It’s all great fun, until the dog has had enough! We don’t expect cats to put up with these things being done to them (who also share our lives), but with dogs it seems to be ok. No wonder incidents of dog bites (and especially bites to children) are on the increase.

When dogs do something we don’t like, we often see it as the dog’s fault rather than looking into the reasons why they did it. Of course, this doesn’t mean dogs are completely blameless in their actions, or that we should let them do what they want (like cats ha-ha), but we need to recognise that we (people) have forgotten what dogs are (not human) and what our relationship with them should be. Dogs have adapted to live with humans over thousands of years and no longer have the choice to keep away from our fire, but we have the choice to change their lives for the better; by understanding their needs, treating them with respect and allowing them to just be a dog (within the limits set by our modern world). Once we do this, we will have once again reconnected with our most loyal of companions - The Dog.

In this book I will take you on a journey of discovery which will help you understand how dogs work, why they do what they do, how similar they are to us, but more importantly how we are different. I will show you how dogs communicate, how we can avoid misunderstandings (both with our own dogs and when meeting unfamiliar ones), how they try to ask us for help and what can happen if they don’t get it. We will cover subjects such as the basic emotions (also called primary emotions), basic physiology and how they feel inside affects their behaviour, how dogs learn and how they have adapted to living with people. I hope to give future dog guardians (like you) the skills to understand the basic nature of a dog and show how we can live more in harmony with them - not as pretend-humans or human playthings, but as a sentient species full of unique individuals, who are forever linked with us. Thank you for taking the first step on this journey and for