Kasper and Kai: Broken Realities

Kai

Iwas numb. My heart was broken in half, and I didn’t know how I was gonna go on with the rest of my life. Staring at the silver coffin in front of me that housed my brother literally made me sick to my stomach. I hadn’t been the same since he took his last breath exactly seven days ago.

The whole time the preacher preached, all I could do was stare blankly at the coffin, wishing that I could wake up from whatever the hell this nightmare was. It was almost as if I saw myself sitting there, but I wasn’t sitting there if that makes sense. Kind of like an out of body experience. Tears rapidly fell down my face as I sat next to my mother, Karen, and her husband, Terry. Why the fuck he was there, I couldn’t tell you because he couldn’t stand my brother, and my brother couldn’t stand his fake ass either.

Brother Khalil took a journey that we all have to take one day, the preacher preached.

My big brother, Khalil, was everything to me. He was my best friend, my confidant, and my whole world. We were five years apart, but the way we were joined at the hip, you would think that we were twins, especially when we damn near had the same face. I allowed myself to travel back to seven days ago, the last time I saw my brother alive.

Bro bro, where you goin now? I asked Khalil as I walked into his room.

None of yo business, lil nosy girl. He smirked before zipping up his duffle bag.

You know I hate bein’ in this house by myself. I pouted.

I had been living with my brother since I was eighteen years old. Our father had passed away when I was sixteen due to a heart attack that none of us saw coming. A few years after that, my mom married Terry, and I hated him from day one. The last straw was when he tried to ‘discipline’ me, so he called it. After Khalil whooped his ass, I moved in with him, and I had been there ever since.

I’ll be gone for three days at the most, so either go over mom’s crib or have Neek come over here, he told me.

You know damn well I’m not goin’ over there, I replied and sucked my teeth.

He didn’t say anything. He just laughed and shook his head.

At the end of the day, that’s still your mother, no matter who the fuck she married.

I nodded in agreement because I loved my mother, and I did miss her.

I might go see her, but I ain’t stayin’ over there, I told him.

When I get back, we’ll spend the whole day together, do some brother/sister stuff. Okay?

I smiled widely and wrapped my arms around his neck before kissing his cheek. He mushed my forehead then hugged me back before he made his way out the room with me behind him.

Make sure you lock up and set the alarm. I’ll call you when I get where I’m goin’. Love you, brat, he said and smirked.

Love you more, bro bro. I grinned.

I waved as he backed out to the road and pulled off down the street. No sooner than I closed the door, gunshots rang out, causing me to drop to the floor. My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute as the gunfire went on for what seemed like forever. Once it stopped, I slowly sat up, and then it hit me that my brother had just left.

No, no, no, I mumbled to myself as I scrambled to my feet.

Taking off out the door with no shoes on, my heart dropped when I saw the back of my brother’s truck and the front of it rammed into a tree.

Khalil! I screamed as I ran faster toward his car.

When I got there, blood was everywhere. His head was on the steering wheel, his eyes were wide, almost as if he were in shock. When I came into view, he calmed a bit, but I could tell that he was in pain and still in shock.

Kai, he whispered softly.

Don’t try to talk, bro bro, help is on the way. You’re gonna be okay, I cried as I grabbed his hand through the window.

He squeezed it as tightly as he could before giving me a weak smile as blood ran out his mouth.

I… I… I… l… lo… v… e, he stuttered.

I love you more, bro bro. Just, please stay with me, I cried.

He squeezed my hand one last time, gave me a small smile as a lone tear ran from his eye, and then, he was gone. By the time the paramedics had arrived, there was nothing they could do for him. The second he left this world, a part of me left too, and I knew that I would never be the same.

Now, we’ll have a selection from Ms. Cheneek York, Reverend Smith said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Cheneek had been my best friend since my ninth-grade year. She had even dated my brother for a little while, and even though it didn’t work out, they were still friends.

I love you, Kai. She winked at me.

The music started to play, and it was my brother’s favorite song, I Know Who Holds Tomorrow. There were several different versions of the song, but his absolute favorite was Kelly Price’s version.

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day

I don’t borrow from its sunshine

For its skies may turn to gray. And I don’t worry about my future

For I know, what Jesus said and today, he walks beside me

For he knows what lies ahead…

The whole time she sang, I cried like a baby as my mother grabbed my hand and held onto it tightly. On the other side of me, my Aunt Carol rubbed my back while fanning me. I knew there wasn’t a dry eye in the house once she was done. Neek came and kneeled in front of me, pulling me into her embrace. I don’t know what it was about her hug, but it was as if I could just let it all out, so I did.

Bro brooooooo! I screamed into her embrace as my heart broke once again at the thought of my big brother not being with me anymore.

It’s gon’ be okay, baby girl. Just let it all out, Neek whispered in my ear.

My aunt scooted over so that Neek could sit beside me. She pulled me further into her embrace where I cried like a newborn baby.

The service continued, and I couldn’t tell you what happened, who said what, or who did what. Then it was time for the final viewing, and I didn’t know if I could do it. My hands shook as the morticians came to the front of the church, said what they needed to say, then handed my mother a plaque with my brother’s picture on it, his name, his date of birth, and the day he died.

He then handed me the blanket that was on top of the casket with the same things on it, causing me to break down all over again. Once they were done, they wheeled the casket that housed my brother’s body to the door of the church. Tears rolled down my face at a rapid pace as his casket passed by us.

One by one, people came up to love on us before they walked out to view Khalil. My head was still on Neek’s shoulder as she rubbed my back gently while whispering in my ear that it was gonna be okay. Once everybody filed out the church, it was time for us to say our goodbyes. My mother grabbed my hand, and I grabbed Neek’s as we slowly made our way to the casket.

My babyyyyyy! my mother screamed as she collapsed to the floor, almost bringing me down with her.

Her husband helped her up as she leaned over the casket, placing her forehead on Khalil’s and telling him over and over again that she loved him. An abundance of tears fell onto his face and made it look as if he was crying too. The scene was one that would bring tears to anybody’s eyes as they walked her out the church.

It was my turn next, and as the tears fell down my face, all I could do was blankly stare at him. He looked good, or as the old folks say, he looked just like himself. It was as if he was simply, sleeping and I longed for him to just get up and say that this was all some sort of mistake, but I knew he never would.

I couldn’t tell you how long I stood there staring at my brother, but when they tried to close the casket, I lost it.

Nooooo, don’t close it. He won’t be able to breathe in there! Please stop. Neek, don’t let them close it, please! I cried as they all stared at me sympathetically.

Come on, Kai. Baby, we have to go, Neek said softly.

I can’t leave him, Neek. I’m all he has, and he’s all I have. Don’t make me leave him! I screamed as I cried.

It’s okay, baby. Come on, he’s alright, she promised me.

After a while, she was able to pull me away from the casket, but I watched like a hawk as the morticians did what they needed to do. As they started to close the casket, all of a sudden, I got hot all over, and I felt like I was gonna pass out. I had to get out of there, so that’s what I did. I pulled myself out of Neek’s embrace and ran out of the church.

Once I got outside, I collapsed right there on the ground and cried some more. I knew people thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. My heart was broken.

Come on, Ma, I heard somebody say.

He helped me up, pulled me into his embrace, and allowed me to cry into his chest. I didn’t know this man from a can of paint, but he comforted me, and I appreciated it.

I’m sorry, I said as I pulled away from him.

You good, Ma. Never apologize for letting your emotions out, he said before handing me a handkerchief from his pocket.

Before I could thank him, Neek approached us and asked if I was okay. I nodded that I was, and she ushered me to the family car where I was pulled into my mother’s embrace. At the burial, I didn’t even get out the car. I laid my head against the window and wondered how I would go on from here. My heart was literally shattered. I was broken, and I knew that I would never be the same after this.

Kasper

My heart broke for lil mama as she cried for her brother. I didn’t personally know her, but I knew of her because I used to do business with her brother Khalil. When I met him some years ago, he was hungry, so I took a chance on him. Needless to say, we made a lot of money together. He never switched up on me and always stayed loyal. Point blank, Khalil was one of the realest niggas I had ever met.

The fucked up part about everything was that he was coming down to Atlanta to make his last payment to me. Some months ago, he came at me and told me that he wanted out of the game. He said he made a lot of money, but he wanted to do something different now. I respected that, so I set him free.

When I got the phone call that somebody had killed lil bro, that shit fucked me up because I had just talked to him literally a few hours before he was murdered. It was rare that I considered people my family, but I considered Khalil family, so I had to come up to Carolina