How to Love and Be Loved: Wisdom of Yogananda
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Paramhana Yogananda
Friendship, love, marriage, and children can offer us our greatest joys in life or our greatest sorrows. Selfless love is the essential key to happiness in all our relationships, but how do we practice it?
How to Love and Be Loved is the third book in The Wisdom of Yogananda series and features writings not available elsewhere, that capture the Master’s expansive and compassionate wisdom. In this book Paramhansa Yogananda, one of the best-loved spiritual teachers of the twentieth century, shares fresh inspiration and practical guidance on: Friendship;broadening your sympathies and expanding the boundaries of your love; How to cure bad habits that spell the death of true friendship: judgment, jealousy, over-sensitivity, unkindness; How to choose the right partner and create a lasting marriage; Sex in marriage and how to conceive a spiritual child; Problems that arise in marriage and what to do about them; Experiencing the Universal Love behind all your relationships.
The Wisdom of Yogananda series features writings of Paramhansa Yogananda not available elsewhere. These books capture the Master’s expansive and compassionate wisdom, his sense of fun, and his practical spiritual guidance. This series includes writings from his earliest years in America, in an approachable, easy-to-read format. The words of the Master are presented with minimal editing, to capture the fresh and original voice of one of the most highly regarded spiritual teachers of the twentieth century.
Paramhansa Yogananda
Born in 1893, Paramhansa Yogananda was the first yoga master of India to take up permanent residence in the West. He arrived in America in 1920 and traveled throughout the country on what he called his “spiritual campaigns.” Hundreds of thousands filled the largest halls in major cities to see the yoga master from India. Yogananda continued to lecture and write up to his passing in 1952. Yogananda’s initial impact on Western culture was truly impressive. His lasting spiritual legacy has been even greater. His Autobiography of a Yogi, first published in 1946, helped launch a spiritual revolution in the West. Translated into more than fifty languages, it remains a best-selling spiritual classic to this day. Before embarking on his mission, Yogananda received this admonition from his teacher, Swami Sri Yukteswar: “The West is high in material attainments but lacking in spiritual understanding. It is God’s will that you play a role in teaching mankind the value of balancing the material with an inner, spiritual life.” In addition to Autobiography of a Yogi, Yogananda’s spiritual legacy includes music, poetry, and extensive commentaries on the Bhagavad Gita, the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, and the Christian Bible, showing the principles of Self-realization as the unifying truth underlying all true religions. Through his teachings and his Kriya Yoga path millions of people around the world have found a new way to connect personally with God. His mission, however, was far broader than all this. It was to help usher the whole world into Dwapara Yuga, the new Age of Energy in which we live. “Someday,” Swami Kriyananda wrote, “I believe he will be seen as the avatar of Dwapara Yuga: the way shower for a new age.”
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How to Love and Be Loved - Paramhansa Yogananda
Publisher’s Note
Dear Reader:
What a wonderful vision of life Paramhansa Yogananda describes in these pages, as he examines all relationships and their divine potential. Always realistic, practical, and entertaining, Yogananda is not afraid to express the alltoo-obvious challenges we face, and also to share clear and powerful solutions and directions.
Paramhansa Yogananda came to the United States from India in 1920, bringing to the West the teachings and techniques of yoga, the ancient science of soul awakening. He was the first master of yoga to make his home in the West, and his Autobiography of a Yogi has become the bestselling autobiography of all time, awakening fascination in Westerners with the spiritual teachings of the East.
Yoga is the ancient science of redirecting one’s energies inward to produce spiritual awakening. In addition to bringing Americans the most practical and effective techniques of meditation, Yogananda showed how these principles can be applied to all areas of life. He was a prolific writer, lecturer, and composer. He lived in America 32 years, until his death in 1952.
The articles included in this book are taken from several sources: the lessons he wrote in the 1920s and 1930s; articles of his that appeared in Inner Culture and East West magazines, published before 1943; the 1949 edition of Whispers from Eternity; and notes taken by Swami Kriyananda during the years he lived with Yogananda as a close disciple.
Our goal in this book is to let the Master’s spirit come clearly through, with a minimum of editing. Sometimes sentences, redundant in the present context, have been deleted. Sometimes words or punctuation have been changed to clarify the meaning. Most of what is included here is not available elsewhere.
May Yogananda’s words on spiritual relationships infuse your life with greater clarity, inspiration, and divine love.
Crystal Clarity Publishers
How to Love and Be Loved
CHAPTER 1
FRIENDSHIP
chpt_fig_001.jpgTHE ART OF GAINING FRIENDS
Friendship is God’s love shining through the eyes of your loved ones, calling you home to drink His nectar of all selfishness-dissolving unity. Friendship is God’s trumpet call, bidding the soul to destroy the partitions that separate it from other souls and from Him. True friendship unites two souls so completely that they reflect the unity of Spirit.
True friendship is broad and inclusive. Selfish attachment to a single individual, excluding all others, inhibits the development of divine friendship. Extend the boundaries of the glowing kingdom of your love, gradually including within them your family, your neighbors, your community, your country, all countries—in short, all sentient creatures. Be a cosmic friend, imbued with kindness and affection for all of God’s creation, scattering love everywhere.
To have friends, you must manifest friendliness. If you open the door to the magnetic power of friendship, a soul or souls of like vibrations will be attracted to you. The more friendly you become toward all, the greater will be the number of your real friends.
When true friendship exists between two souls and they seek spiritual love and God’s love together, when their only wish is to be of service to each other, their friendship produces the flame of Spirit. Through perfected divine friendship, mutually seeking spiritual perfection, you will find the one Great Friend.
Unfailing Laws of Friendship
Be neither unduly familiar with, nor indifferent to, a friend. Do not limit him by telling him, I know all about you.
Respect and love grow among friends with time. Familiarity breeds contempt
between those who are mutually useless, selfish, material-minded, and unproductive of inspiration or self-development. The greater the mutual service, the deeper the friendship. Why does Jesus have such a wide following? Because He, like the other great masters, is unequaled in His service to humanity.
To attract friends you must possess the qualities of a real friend. Blind friendship may end in sudden, blind hate. The building of wisdom and spiritual understanding by mutual effort can bind two souls by the laws of everlasting divine love.
Human love and friendship have their basis in service on the physical, mental, or business plane. They are short-lived and conditional. Divine love has its foundation in service on the spiritual and intuitional planes, and is unconditional and eternal.
When perfect friendship exists, either between two hearts or within a group of hearts in a spiritual organization, such friendship perfects each individual. In the heart purified by friendship, one beholds an open door of unity through which one should invite other souls to enter—those who love him as well as those who love him not. When divine friendship reigns supreme in the temple of your heart, your soul will merge with the vast Cosmic Soul, leaving far behind the confining bonds which separated it from all of God’s creation.
Consider no one a stranger. Learn to feel that everybody is your kin. Family love is merely one of the first exercises in the Divine Teacher’s course in Friendliness, intended to prepare your heart for an all-inclusive love. Feel that the life-blood of God is circulating in the veins of all races. How does anyone dare to hate any human being of any race when he knows that God lives and breathes in all? We are Americans or Hindus or other nationalities for just a few years, but we are God’s children forever. The soul cannot be confined within man-made boundaries: its nationality is Spirit, its country is Omnipresence.
This does not mean that you must know and love all human beings and creatures personally and individually. All you need to do is to be ready at all times to spread the light of friendly service over all living creatures which you happen to contact. This requires constant mental effort and preparedness—in other words, unselfishness. The sun shines equally on diamond and charcoal, but one has developed qualities that enable it to reflect the sunlight brilliantly, while the other absorbs all the sunlight. Emulate the diamond in your dealings with people. Brightly reflect the light of God’s love.
Why Love Your Enemies?
The secret of Christ’s strength lay in his love for all, even his enemies. Far better to conquer by love the heart of a person who hates you than to vanquish such a one by other means. To the ordinary man such a doctrine seems absurd. He wants to return ten slaps for the one he has received and add twice as many kicks for good measure. Why should you love your enemy? Love him that you may bring the healing rays of your love into his hatred-stricken heart and burn away the partitions of misery that separate your soul from another.
Avoid doing anything that brings harm to yourself or to another. If you are self-indulgent, or if you encourage