Haunt Wrecker: Magic and Mayhem Universe: Haunted Properties, #4

By Angela Roquet

Rain, rain, go away. A little batling wants to play...

Newlyweds Margo and Dylan are ready for the next stops on the yellow brick road of life: flipping a foreclosure and having a baby. But after six months of trying, Margo's cave is still batless. To make matters worse, their fixer-upper is bleeding their bank account dry.

Margo grudgingly agrees to Dylan's suggestion that they rent out the house until they're able to sell it. But when their tenants turn out to be a gorgeous fruit bat Shifter that Dylan's late brother Drew dated while in Australia and their resulting love child, Margo feels as if her thunder has been stolen—literally.

As Dylan spends more and more time with the boy and his single mother, the mounting stress causes Margo to lose control of her sky cauldron powers, and soon Assjacket's sunny summer weather is overtaken by horrific storms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Violent Siren Press
• Release date: Jun 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201339036

Angela Roquet

USA Today bestselling author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She lives in Missouri with her husband and son in a house stuffed with books, toys, skulls, owls, and glitter-speckled craft supplies. Angela is a member of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association, as well as the Four Horsemen of the Bookocalypse, her epic book critique group, where she's known as Death. When not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys boating with her family at Lake of the Ozarks and reading books that raise eyebrows.  Find Angela online at www.angelaroquet.com

Book preview

Foreword

Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!

I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series, and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.

What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?

Well, let me explain...

It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you...the results are hilarious!

So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side-splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com Grab your copy today!

And if you would like to read the book that started all the madness, Switching Hour is FREE!

https://robynpeterman.com/switching-hour

Haunt Wrecker

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Chapter 1

BLISSFULLY NORMAL. That’s how I would have described my life in Assjacket, West Virginia.

I had a husband who was crazy about me—and I about him, a blossoming career as a real estate agent, and a lovely circle of girlfriends with whom I enjoyed brunch at the local Country Club as often as possible.

Okay. Maybe normal was too strong a word. After all, the doting hubby was a fruit bat Shifter, I had a side gig as a residential exorcist, and the gal pals were all wildly inappropriate witches with lusty appetites and colorful vocabularies.

And while blissful was accurate, the sentiment felt strained lately.

Chillax, Zelda said, waving a forked sausage in the air. It’s totally normal that you don’t have a batty bun in your cauldron yet. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with your vajayjay or your bat man’s man parts.

A cool breeze blew across the covered deck where we sat and tugged at Zelda’s red locks. She flicked a curl away from her face before chomping down on the sausage with an orgasmic moan. My mouth watered—at the sausage, not her reaction. I’d given up processed meats as per the fertility diet DeeDee, a deer Shifter and the local doula, had recommended.

Zelda swallowed and licked her lips before resuming her pep talk. Putting the pea in the pod takes time for lots of couples. Give it at least a year. If you’re not sporting a bump by Christmas, I’ll help you track down a specialist.

You mean this isn’t something you can handle with your Shifter Whisperer-Wanker-Whatever powers? I asked, wringing the napkin in my lap.

"Well, the Shifter Wanker powers are really more for healing Shifters."

"But you’re in line to be the next Baba Yaga. And Dylan is a Shifter—"

I know, I know. Zelda sighed. It’s just that after the incident with Roger’s peen, I’ve scratched crotch doctorin’ off the resume. She closed her eyes and shuddered.

No one wants to see that again, Sassy, Zelda’s very blond BFF, agreed.

I might, Glinda said with a crooked grin. Sassy made a face at my cousin before turning back to me.

"Witchy Shifter babies are just, like, super rare. Why do you think Jeeves and I adopted the chipmunks?"

Because you’re insane? Glinda suggested under her breath. She hitched a brow at me over the rim of her mimosa as if to say you dragged me back here on my day off for this?

Glinda had been bartending at the Country Club for almost two years. Zelda set her up with the job after I’d sold my cousin a house in town. She was the only family member I had any sort of relationship with, so I was more tolerant of her wicked streak than the other witches of Assjacket were. But she’d promised to be on her best behavior if Zelda allowed her to stay.

Ooh! Sassy perked. The glint in her eyes told me a truly terrible idea had taken root in her mind—or out of her mind, as she often was. You could adopt the Hooch sisters!

The buzzard Shifters who waxed your Virginia raw? I blinked at her in horror.

It’s perfect! Sassy squealed. They’ve got wings to fly around with you and Big D, and you’re sure to get a killer discount on Brazilians!

My papaya is smooth enough, thank you very much.

I bet a mother’s love is just the thing to tame their violent tendencies, Sassy went on, counting off the ridiculous reasons why this was a brilliant plan on her red-taloned fingertips. Plus, no diaper duty—or doodie. Oh! You could turn your flipper house into a salon! The styling and manicure fumes would totally cover that mystery stank.

Before I could offer a firmer rejection, Zelda pointed her half-eaten sausage at Sassy.

"If you want those crazy buzzards to be gentle with your muffin, you adopt them, she snapped. Margo and Dylan have only been trying for six months. They could still get lucky and end up with a magically-endowed sky puppy or two."

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, I said, trying to shrug off the gravity of my baby-less predicament. It felt selfish to want more when I already had so much happiness in my life. At Zelda’s pitying smile, I added, We’ve been staying awfully busy with all the work on the Croakerton house, anyway.

The