UNNECESSARY ENEMIES: FINDING A PLACE FOR MAYSON

By Dawnn B Sommerville

Mayson has a secret. A secret that some know, and others choose not to. A secret that, once exposed, changes the everyday norm for him, his family and his best friend Reanna. During his young adulthood in the early 1980s in the small town of Benton, his secret brings him to a crossroad that merges a choice between his sexuality and h

• Language: English
• Publisher: D B Hughes
• Release date: Feb 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781735353708

Dawnn B Sommerville

Dawnn B Sommerville's fascination with the intertwining of human behavior and relationships is paramount in this novel. She has a passion for the underdog in her writings. She stretches her mind beyond what is before her in order to better understand the motivation and background of each of her characters. Her observation of life, and what is seen on the surface as ordinary people, are her inspiration in creating novels that her readers can relate to in a real-world and beyond natural experiences.

Book preview

Foreword

Gays, lesbians and Christianity: they are often assumed to be completely incompatible. Can a person who is gay or lesbian also be a Christian? This is the question this book attempts to examine through its characters’ stories, experiences, and beliefs. Assumptions each group holds about the other ignites the anger and embitterment between some churches and gay communities. This anger spills over into society and perpetuates division among people who may have other commonalities that can bridge the gap. Thus, this book makes an effort to balance this conflict through the experiences of Mayson, whose life is ingrained in both communities despite their opposition.

Based in the 1980s, in the fictitious town of Benton, the experiences of Mayson speaks to the heart of a divided segment of people with well-meaning intentions. The words gay, lesbian, and homosexual are used periodically throughout the book based on the character’s background or content of the subject matter. For example, gay is a word that is more commonly used for same-sex male attractions now, but in many Benton churches, during this time period, the word homosexual was still in use.

In referring to gays and lesbians in this book, the word Human is often used as a replacement. This is done for the sake of perspective, but the reader should be aware that the characters are using the common labels (gay, lesbian, or homosexual) as in their real world. The descriptive word Human was used by the character, Phyllis, Mayson’s mother, to avoid other common terms in describing her son’s sexuality. Primarily, the use of the word Human is substituted throughout this book for the following reasons:

It provides a commonality that brings all the characters to the same level of being or basic existence.

It shows the redundancy in labels when an effort is made to differentiate from others.

Out of the variety of names and labels used to differentiate from one another, we yet have the commonality of being human as designed by our Creator.

In order to distinguish differences, but emphasize a point of commonality, which also includes a need for consideration and respect for their beliefs and values, the Human description could be used for those in the church as well. However, in determining the use of the word Human for which group, it was decided that the gay and lesbian community’s overall description as a gender minority and their past struggles and efforts to be heard was taken into account. Thus, the substituted word Human for the gay and lesbian community was deemed more suitable.

It is an honor to share this story of Mayson with you and his journey to self-discovery. For all who open themselves to the almighty God, this book hopes for a resolution that God will ultimately bring people together through his union and communion with humanity.

CHAPTER 1

The Search for Mayson

Not knowing can leave a lot of room for the imagination.

Those who were home that evening in the Hendricks’ neighborhood were glued to their television sets; including the family matriarch, Phyllis Hendricks. Usually on a Wednesday evening, Phyllis would be in the den, watching her favorite television program of the 1984 season, Highway to Heaven. A show that she included with a large bowl of popcorn with its viewing. But tonight, she and her family were not relaxing with their favorite shows. The news of the dead body of an unidentified man had been televised yesterday and it was rumored that the body could be that of Phyllis Hendricks’ second child, 22-year-old Mayson.

Phyllis was friendly with her neighbors, and there was not much that went on that people in her neighborhood didn’t know about each other. Mayson’s recent situation was not something that Phyllis discussed with her neighbors, but it was obvious in the neighborhood that for the past year, Mayson had not been seen. People had been by to comfort Phyllis. Some tried to assure her that the body could not be Mayson’s. Others, uncertain of what to say to the family, would give a quick wave as they passed the family, adding, We have you in our prayers.

It had been over a year since Mayson moved out of his family’s home. He missed his family and found it difficult not seeing them on a regular basis. He started to come by their home for weekly visits or meet his mother at a restaurant for lunch. His younger siblings, 14-year-old Lamont and 15-year-old, Idelle, called Idee, were glad to see him when he came by. However, since Mayson had left their home and church, they were at a loss for words when it came to engaging in their usual past conversations. Funny stories about who did what at church or in the choir were no longer the same.

Mayson had not spoken with his best friend Reanna in a while. So Idee made sure she provided Mayson with any little bits of information she heard about his colorful friend. Idee knew that Reanna was a safe bet for engaging Mayson’s interest. But even sharing the humorous gossip about his friend Reanna, whose calls he had stopped returning, became of less concern to Mayson. He had often sensed that she always knew he was not the Mayson that the church wanted him to be. He knew that Reanna would not treat him any differently now that everyone knew his secret, yet he could not see himself including her in his new life.

Now that his family and church members knew that Mayson was homosexual, his interaction with them was now awkward and uncertain. People who had known him since he was a boy became strangers to him. With each encounter on the street, Mayson had to think quickly about how he should address them. Pretend he didn’t see them and go the opposite direction, or talk as though the matter of his sexuality was unknown? Neither was an ideal option. In the past, running into someone from the church led to hugs, laughter, and good conversation. But now, Mayson felt fear each time he saw someone he knew from his church, Greenlawn Community Church--GCC, or anyone who knew him. They had heard the rumors about Mayson’s sexuality, but it was not the same now that the reality of it was set before them.

Whenever their pastor spoke about the sins of homosexuality, Mayson would notice his mother fidgeting with her purse or some other distracting gesture. Homosexuality was a word that Phyllis would make much effort not to say. Instead, she would say Humans. Mayson found it interesting that his mother substituted the word Human for homosexual, but he never asked her why. Mayson felt that talking about it meant that it was proof that it was so. That he was homosexual. He would not even tell her when his classmates called him effeminate names. As he got older, he developed his own understanding of why his mother referred to homosexuals as Humans. Knowing her heart, he concluded that it was her way of saying that we all have one created identity when it comes to God.

As for his siblings during this difficult time, the reality of Mayson’s being Human left Lamont and Idee uncertain of how to interact with him. When Mayson first left their home, Phyllis had her hands full making sure he was okay and helping her other children adjust to a household that no longer included their beloved brother. Lamont had not given much thought to his sexuality, but he began to wonder about himself. He wondered if he should be as sexually aroused or advanced as the other boys in his class. He thought about the girls who had made advances towards him whom he had brushed off. After seeing all that Mayson was experiencing, he had hoped that he was not a Human like Mayson. After Mayson left one day after his weekly family visit, Lamont overheard his mother crying in her bedroom. He tried to assure himself that he was not Human like Mayson, and he would never make his mother cry. In his room, he allowed himself to focus on two girls in his class he thought were cute. He also thought of the time when he talked his older brother J.R. into letting him go with him to an R-rated movie. He recalled his feeling of arousal from a love scene. However, doubt reared again as he wondered, could the arousal have come from the male actor rather than the actress? Lamont was not one for opening up to others, but he was scared at the thought of being like Mayson. It was one of the few times that he wanted to talk to someone. He dared not choose his mother as it would make her more upset. Mayson was too deep in his own problems to discuss this with him. He could not take Idee seriously enough to think she could help. Talking with his father was never an option. He loved J.R. and looked up to him, but he knew that J.R. was too manly for him to discuss his sexual curiosity. J.R. was better for talking to about his feelings for girls, but not his possible interest in boys.

When Mayson visited his family’s home he did so when he knew that his father, Ed, would not be home. He’d sometimes call ahead and check with Lamont to be sure his chosen day was not one where his father would be there. His relationship, or lack thereof, with his father was a problem that existed years before Mayson moved in with his partner, Tony.

Mayson and Phyllis had their weekly lunches as usual, but after a few months, Mayson began to cancel his family dates and simply stopped coming to the house. Several months after leaving home, Mayson began to have little to no contact with his family. Phyllis called him each week, whether he answered or not. She didn’t have it within herself to go to the condo where he and Tony lived, so her phone calls were her only way of keeping in contact with her son. Often when she called, Mayson was home and answered. He always sounded glad to hear from her. He’d sometimes tell her that he was just about to call her. He’d routinely tell her how busy he was with his job. Phyllis would give him updates on what was going on with the family, church or the neighborhood. She’d try so hard not to talk about Tony, but when their conversations would hit a lull, she would ask, So how’s your friend? Without much detail, Mayson would often respond, Fine, but he works too much. He knew to end any comments about Tony with that. He was aware that his mother really did not want to know any more about Tony. Before they hung up, Mayson would assure her that he would keep in regular contact. From their talks she would assume that they were back on course with their daily contacts and weekly family visits, only to find weeks had passed and she had not heard from her son. Phyllis worried about Mayson, but she felt she had no one to talk to about him.

CHAPTER 2

Family Time—Earlier Days

Mayson, it’s 12:30AM. Where have you been? asked Phyllis.

Some of us went to My Place Buffet after the service. I thought you knew that, replied Mayson.

How was I supposed to know that? asked Phyllis.

Remember when Pastor Upshaw was about to dismiss service? He mentioned that our choir was ranked #1 last week as the most inspirational choir in the state. He said they were going out to My Place Buffet to celebrate. He said that all were welcome to join in on the celebration.

I didn’t hear all that, said Phyllis sternly.

I think Idee was whispering in your ear about something at that time, said Mayson, grinning at the thought of his chatterbox sister.

Everyone in the neighborhood knew that if you wanted to find the Hendricks family on a Sunday, you’d better start looking for them at church. During the week, it was also not uncommon to see church members, including their beloved pastor, Earl Upshaw, pastor of Greenlawn Community Church (GCC), frequenting the Hendricks’ home with various church activities. Pastor Upshaw, a 68-year-old family man, married for 37 years and father of one adult son and two adult daughters, he pastored one of the most prosperous and well-known churches in Benton, Ohio. His church was well known for his powerful sermons and talented choir. Many had declared that the songs and ministries that came from GCC would bring you to your feet in praise. And if you came in burdened, you would not leave that way. Pastor Upshaw’s sound doctrine and compelling voice were all over the airwaves. His sermons would precede and end with a selection from the choir.

Mayson and his family had been attending GCC since Mayson was 5 years old. Phyllis was over the Youth Empowerment program, which included the teens from the church, community and in-house church projects. Last year Phyllis had the young people to put together a drive for donating items for opening a GCC thrift store. They gathered enough items to open the thrift store 30 days ahead of schedule. The teens at GCC really liked Phyllis. When Pastor Upshaw decided to start the Youth Empowerment program, Phyllis was his only choice for the position. He knew how much the young people liked and respected her. Phyllis was grateful to the pastor for allowing her to work with the youth. As the oldest of 9 siblings, her mother often left her in charge during her absence. So, working as the leader in the youth department, was not a difficult role to fit.

In passing conversations, Pastor Upshaw often asked Phyllis about her family. During the days when Mayson was living in her home, she would give a general response that her family was doing well. After changes that led to Mayson’s departure from her home, she noticed that her pastor seldom mentioned her family. On one particular Sunday evening after a special service, post Mayson’s departure, Phyllis caught her pastor’s eye as she was leaving among a throng of mingling church members. Phyllis was preoccupied in thought and her eyes appeared as though she had been crying.

You okay, Sister Phyllis? asked Pastor.

Phyllis imagined herself bursting into tears and falling into her pastor’s arms. Instead, she felt resentment for him at that moment. In her mind, she blamed him for her son’s estrangement from his family and the church. The image of her breaking down before him soon dissipated. Phyllis sniffled a little and responded.

I’m okay, Pastor, she said.

She gave him a quick smile and turned toward the exit, inching her way through the crowd.

Phyllis Hendricks was the 40-year-old matriarch of the Hendricks’ household. Her firstborn, from her first marriage, was Clifton Harmon, Jr. whom everyone called J.R. He could have been called Junior, but Phyllis didn’t want him to go through life feeling secondary to his father. J.R. was in his last year at a local college outside of Benton. His skills at baseball, basketball and football had earned him a partial athletic scholarship.

Phyllis became pregnant with J.R. when she was 18 years old. She and J.R.’s father were high school sweethearts who married as a result of Phyllis’ pregnancy. The marriage lasted for only a few years. J.R. was Cliff’s only son, and Cliff wanted to make sure that J.R. had the foundation of his presence throughout his life, unlike his own father, who had never been around. J.R. inherited his father’s love for sports and played a variety of sports from the time he was 8. He had a special interest in football. His father would make it a part of their visit to include throwing the football back and forth during their visits. He wanted to influence and strengthen this athletic part of J.R. that was also one of his favorite sports.

When J.R. turned 15, he told Phyllis that weekly visits with his father were not enough. He asked Phyllis to let him live with his father and his stepmother Irene. Phyllis, not wanting J.R. to leave her at such a young age, had to think fast.

Your father wouldn’t want the responsibility of caring for you on a full-time basis. You know his job as a firefighter keeps him busy, she said.

She knew that Cliff adored J.R., but she had hoped this explanation would work.

I talked to Daddy and he was fine with it, he said.

What about Irene? asked Phyllis.

Oh, she said she had no problems with it either, he said, with a look that showed he knew she would ask that question.

Phyllis had problems with this request at the beginning, but Cliff had always been a good father, and Irene, who couldn’t have children of her own, seemed to enjoy J.R.’s company. After several weeks, Phyllis agreed to let J.R. move in with his father.

Phyllis’ second husband, Ed, the father of Mayson, Idee, and Lamont, was a handsome man. He was tall, with chiseled features that reminded you of a black Cary Grant. His job at Benton’s local assembly plant brought in enough income to support the whole household. Ed had been working there since he was 20 years old. He had been offered promotions but turned them down, as he didn’t want the extra responsibilities of actually managing others. Still, his managers, eager to retain such a dependable and knowledgeably employee, gave him regular and generous raises. Ed would constantly talk about being at work for overtime, but his paychecks didn’t always reflect all those alleged hours. Phyllis knew that her pretty-boy husband was involved with other women. But she never had to concern herself with his money going to other women. Quite the opposite: the women seemed to financially take care of Ed in order to retain him in their presence. On payday, he’d come home to give Phyllis his paycheck, minus a couple of hundreds from what he called pocket change.

Phyllis’ focus was on the well-being of her children. Ed knew Phyllis’ heart was with their children more than him. They had an unspoken agreement to keep the status quo of their marriage. Ed could keep his overtime going as long as he took care of his responsibilities at home, was Phyllis’ stance. As a result, Phyllis never had problems with Ed handing his paycheck over to her as he walked out the door with a few dollars in his own pocket between overtimes.

Idee was the only girl and family diva. Her sense of style for just the right wardrobe started as young as 3 years old. She would cry and whine if Phyllis dared to dress her in pants or any kind of denim. In addition, whenever she wore new clothes, she made sure that everyone would be aware of her adorable outfit at church, as she’d walk up to fellow members and point at her colorful ensembles. At 15, with the exception of including pants in her wardrobe and not being as directly showy, not much had changed for Idee’s external displays. At school, Idee was known as Miss Hollywood. Her school outfits were always the latest in teen fashion, and she never failed to accessorize, right down to the occasional toe ring. Phyllis tolerated her clothes-horse daughter’s habits, as shopping together was a special mother-daughter bonding time for them. It was one of the few times that Phyllis felt she could hang out with her only daughter.

Phyllis had conflicting thoughts about Idee’s obsession in her appearance. For a while, she wondered if Idee’s taste had something to do with her own past. When she was dating Cliff, who was a popular athlete at their school, she wore clothes specifically to get his attention. She thought that maybe God was punishing her through her daughter for seducing Cliff. After Phyllis gave birth to J.R., her clothing changed to a more conservative style. The change had had much to do with Cliff’s mother description of her as looking loose. It concerned her that Idee put forth so much effort to get people to notice her. When Idee was younger and demanded so much attention through her colorful clothing and untamed verbiage, Phyllis had hoped it would be a passing phase. However, when Idee came into her teens and her wardrobe changed from colorful to excessive, Phyllis became concerned about the source of Idee’s need for such attention. She thought maybe if Ed would spend more time with Idee perhaps she would not need so much attention from others. So, she asked Ed to spend a Saturday with Idee because she thought that she needed that time with him. He hesitantly agreed. On the Saturday they spent together, Idee came back home bouncing up and down hugging Phyllis as though she had not seen her in years.

Look at what Daddy bought me, she said, as she leaned her right ear toward Phyllis.I’ve wanted these earrings for months, she squealed.

She then went to her room to call one of her many friends to tell them about the earrings. When she left the room, Phyllis could see the exhausted look on Ed’s face.

Is she always like this? he asked.

Oh yes! said Phyllis, laughing at Ed’s dumbfounded expression. What happened to the movies and lunch?

We had lunch, but the movie changed to shopping time, he said.

He then took out his wallet, pulled out his credit card and flipped it over to Phyllis.

I applied for that last month, he said. She caught the card with little effort.

You know how much I despise shopping, said Ed.

I know, said Phyllis with a giggle.

After that day, Ed and Idee never again spent any specially planned time together.

Phyllis was grateful that her daughter’s need for attention did not include sexual activity. In their mother-daughter moments, Idee often shared how she feared the thought of having a baby. She told Phyllis that she could not stand the prospect of all the pain that went with it. Idee had a few boyfriends, but they were short-lived. Idee told Phyllis that once they didn’t get what they wanted from her, she would not hear from them again. Phyllis would encourage her that when the right guy came along and stayed with her, she would know he was the one she should marry someday. And then it wouldn’t be difficult for both of them to express that side of themselves to each other.

Lamont, Phyllis’ 14-year-old youngest child, had his father’s features. He was tall but lacked his brother Mayson’s lankiness. He was the shyest of all the children. Phyllis also found him to be the most affectionate. He would often give Phyllis the biggest hug for no apparent reason. Lamont was a loner and never had as many friends as Idee or Mayson. When at home, he could either be found in his room listening to his Walkman or watching television. He liked watching the big television in the den, but on days when his mother wanted to watch her programs, Lamont would retreat to his room without complaint to watch one of his many action shows.

Lamont was a brilliant student with little admiration for school. His teachers would often share with Phyllis their frustration in getting him to follow through with his high academic capabilities. He’d usually start out the semester with excellent grades. Close to the end of the semester his grades would drop to C and low B averages. It was as though he feared getting high grades, one of his teachers told Phyllis. Phyllis had also done well in school. If she had not gotten pregnant at such an early age, her goal was to go to college and become a teacher.

Phyllis tried all she could to get Lamont to share with her why his grades faltered close to the end of each semester. He’d only reply that he didn’t know, or he’d try to do better next time—which he would not. Unlike Mayson, Lamont was not one to open himself to long and in-depth communication. He didn’t have the drive that Mayson had when it came to challenges, instead, he lived off mediocracy.

Lamont’s handsome features didn’t go unnoticed by the girls in his class. But Lamont would never allow himself to engage in their bids for his attention. Initially, he was not aware that the girls were attracted to him. When some of the girls were tired of trying to be subtle, they would simply make vulgar sexual offers. Lamont ignore them as though he didn’t hear them, or occasionally lie that he had a girlfriend. These sexual come-ons were something that he’d tell Mayson about, but wavered about sharing them with his mother. He knew of the teachings at his church about lust and fornication. He also knew that there were a few occasions when the thought of engaging in some of the acts the girls propositioned made his body react in ways that he definitely didn’t want to share with his mother.

The one time that Lamont told Mayson about all the attention he was getting from girls, Mayson expressed amusement. He’d awkwardly responded as though Lamont was lucky for such attention. Lamont could tell that Mayson was trying to sound like the other boys he heard at school or in their neighborhood. He asked Mayson whether he had ever had sex with a girl. Lamont recalled Mayson responded that he had a devotion to God and wanted to wait until he got married. They never brought up the conversation again.

Lamont liked hanging out with Mayson. Mayson never discouraged Lamont’s tagging along with hm and his best friend Reanna. Lamont was never much trouble and Mayson liked the fact that he was among the very few that Lamont felt comfortable with. Lamont also got along well with Idee. Despite Idee’s self-absorbed personality, she too would try and find some time for Lamont. It baffled her how someone could be as quiet and isolated as him. She’d try and make up for it by watching television with Lamont or bring things back for him whenever she went out with her friends. As for his oldest brother, J.R., there were a few times when J.R. invited Lamont to hang out with him at ball games. After a day out with J.R., Lamont would usually return home looking for Mayson as though he had to make sure that Mayson was okay with his hanging out with J.R. Phyllis liked the time that J.R. spent with Lamont but could not help but feel bad for Mayson. J.R. never spent any time with him. She wanted to believe that it was due to their personality differences.

Mayson and his mother had discussed Lamont’s need to venture out. They both agreed that Lamont’s time with Mayson was a start for him to meet other people. Mayson didn’t swear, drink alcohol, or express any signs of being sexually active, so he knew Lamont was in good company with him. However, his friend Reanna had a different side to her. On days when Lamont was with them, Mayson expressed to Reanna his concern when she would tell Mayson details about her relationships with her boyfriends. Mayson would ask her to tone it down when Lamont was around.

Mayson, Phyllis’ 20-year-old second child was the gentlest of her four children. He was tall and thin like Ed, but lanky. His facial features, including his very light complexion, were those similar to Christopher Reid, of Kid and Play. His mother Phyllis, had what he described as a pecan brown complexion, and his father was about one shade darker than her. His mother, Lamont, and Idee were all of similar complexion. Idee looked like her mother and Lamont like his father. Mayson was tall like his father, but his lankiness and facial features sometimes made him feel as though he stood out. Mayson didn’t look much like either of his parents, although a few people would say his eyes were like his mother’s. Phyllis had a picture of his paternal grandfather, whom Mayson had never met, in the family album, and he could see that he looked more like him than either of his parents. Mayson was self-conscious about his light skin. When he was in high school some of his classmates would call him white boy, which he disliked intensely. Mayson was not comfortable with most of his physical features, but the one thing he prided himself on was his hair. It grew fast, sometimes too fast for Phyllis to get him a decent haircut. Now Mayson wore his bushy afro to his shoulders, similar to the Jackson 5 during the 70s. His hair often got him compliments. Some girls at his high school offered to braid it for him.

Mayson was usually mild-mannered. It took a lot to anger him, but when it happened, he’d burst like a broken dam. Phyllis admired Mayson’s tendency to think optimistically of others, but she also worried it would make him vulnerable. Unlike Lamont, whose mediocre grades were because he only did enough to get by, Mayson struggled in school even when he did his best. During his junior year in high school, his teacher informed Phyllis that if Mayson could get a score of at least 79 on his next test, it would be enough for him to make a passing grade. When Phyllis relayed this, Mayson began to study evenings and weekends. He had his siblings quiz him until he was able to answer almost every question. Mayson passed the test with an 85. Phyllis baked him his favorite German chocolate cake as a reward. He was able to graduate from school with a C average. He worked at a discount store part-time in high school, and his boss had assured him that if he stayed after he graduated, he would bring Mayson on full-time with the possibility of working toward becoming the assistant manager. Mayson did stay after graduation, but the store closed down six months later. For the past two years, Mayson had worked odd jobs, including part-time work at a janitorial cleaning company. He kept that job longer than any of the other jobs. He told Phyllis that it was just a stopgap until he decided what he wanted to do.

Mayson had managed to come to terms with his father’s lack of regard for him. He resigned himself to the view that it was not just him that his father didn’t like, but Lamont as well. He knew that his father loved Idee, because he would find time to laugh and talk with her. But Mayson saw himself and Lamont as two boys for his father to bark at about mowing the lawn or taking out the trash. Mayson didn’t mind if the barking was actually his father’s concern for keeping the house up, but he could tell that it was more about his father’s attempt at acting like a father when he made his appearances. Phyllis helped Mayson to believe that his father’s low regard for him and Lamont was more about who his father was as a man and not about their self-worth. This sounded reasonable to Mayson, yet he longed for a normal family that included an attentive father. He liked J.R. and admired his relationship with Cliff, Sr. Mayson envied those times when Cliff would come to the house to pick up J.R. for their weekends together. Cliff was always nice to Mayson when he came to the house.

One weekend, before Cliff was to pick up J.R. for a morning fishing trip, Phyllis called Cliff and asked him to invite Mayson to go along. Cliff assured Phyllis that he would like to ask Mayson to come, but the last time when his wife Irene suggested the same thing, J.R. responded that he would not go on the trip if Mayson was going. Phyllis contemplated asking Cliff why he thought J.R. didn’t want Mayson to go, but she was afraid of what the response might be. Instead, she asked:

Well, did you talk to J.R. about his attitude towards his own brother?

There was a brief silence over the phone.

I did but he only closed up and didn’t have much to say. They are different boys, he added. And us trying to force them together is never going to work.

It scares me when I see a little of your mother’s shunning attitude in him, said Phyllis.

If anyone else made this comment about my mother, I would be highly offended, thought Cliff, but he knew Phyllis was right. He often saw his mother in J.R. but never wanted to admit it.

CHAPTER 3

Young Phyllis and Clifton, Sr

Unrestrained young love can lead to grown-up decisions

(I)

Seventeen-year-old Cliff and eighteen-year-old Phyllis were high school sweethearts. Being older than your boyfriend was not the norm for relationships in Phyllis’ mind, so she would often tell people that Cliff was one year older than he actually was. They had been a couple for two years before she became pregnant with J.R. in their senior year of high school. Cliff was special and the longest relationship she ever had. She had gotten pregnant three weeks before her eighteenth birthday. Phyllis never thought she would be sexually active and pregnant in high school. She had wanted to wait until she was married to have sex, but they often found themselves in isolated places with opportunities and aroused emotions.

Cliff was stunned at the news of Phyllis’ pregnancy. His father was not around for him to confide in and he dare not tell his mother, as she never liked Phyllis anyway. He would not consider going to his other relatives for help for fear his mother would find out from one of them.

Cliff was the only child of his mother. His father left them when Cliff was eight years old. His parents, Florence and Willie Harmon, had been separated for nine years, but they never divorced. Willie had since been living with another woman and fathered four other children with her. Florence told her family that she didn’t have the money to file for divorce from her husband. When she secured a well-paying job as the head cook at a popular restaurant in their hometown of Lanear, Ohio, she then said she needed the additional income for Cliff’s college education. Years later, due to her shrewd savings and investments, she became the owner of the restaurant; after that, she didn’t give any explanation as to why she and her estranged husband had not officially divorced.

Phyllis was the oldest of her siblings. Her mother, Ida Mae Potter, relied heavily upon Phyllis to help her take care of the home and Phyllis 8 other siblings. The family received a small income after the car-accident death of Ida Mae’s husband, but it was not enough to adequately care for a family of 10. After Phyllis’ father died, her mother developed the reputation of "another woman" in Lanear.

Despite (or maybe because of) her questionable reputation, Ida Mae brought in enough income to keep her family off the streets. Ida Mae didn’t have a regular job . But somehow the bills were paid. Phyllis never asked her mother where her additional money came from. As an adult, Phyllis had an idea where it had come from, but never had her mother to confirm it. She recalled her mother leaving the home on a few occasions to "take care of something," as her mother phrased it.

On a warm Sunday afternoon, while sitting on a bench near their high school track, Phyllis and Cliff sat as they looked into the sky. Both knowing they had a lot to talk about but were unsure where to start.

I don’t think my mother would be the best person to tell about us at this time. There are 9 mouths in my house that my mother has to feed. Can you imagine what she would do if I tell her that now there’s a 10th child on the way? said Phyllis.

Come on, Phyll. We have to talk to someone. Might as well be your mother… Cliff paused…rather than mine, he said.

Phyllis could see the fear in Cliff’s eyes. Reluctantly, she agreed to tell her mother.

At school the next day, Cliff and Phyllis were both nervous. They met at lunch to talk more. Phyllis had second thoughts and decided to tell Cliff that she changed her mind about telling her mother. Phyllis only had an orange and milk on her tray. Her stomach was too upset to eat anything else. Cliff had everything that he was allowed to eat on his. They sat in the corner of the cafeteria near the fire exit door, far away from the other students. Phyllis pushed her tray to the side and leaned in to talk quietly to Cliff. Cliff began to eat immediately.

I can’t tell my mother about the baby. I need for us to wait a while until we can come up with a different plan, whispered Phyllis.

A plan? Cliff asked as he dropped his fork to his plate, splashing a little spaghetti sauce on his shirt. I thought we had agreed that we would tell your mother this afternoon. We can’t wait too long, he said.

I know, but I’m scared, she said.

Scared of what? asked Cliff.

Scared of what my mother might do to me, responded Phyllis.

What could she possibly do to you, Phyll? I think your imagination is getting the better of you, said Cliff, as he stopped eating. We definitely can’t tell my mother right now. She’ll accuse you of getting pregnant on purpose. She told me a few months after she met you that you would find some way to trap me.

And? I hope you’re not thinking the same, said Phyllis, alarmed.

Phyllis was aware from the first day that she met Mrs. Harmon that the woman didn’t like her. She knew that keeping this secret from her was not going to make her embrace her. She had met Mrs. Harmon at one of Cliff’s baseball games one summer. From the frown on her face in seeing Phyllis in her high, almost over-the-thigh shorts, to her avoidance of eye contact with her, she made it known to Phyllis to keep away from her and Cliff. After the game, Cliff and his mother had a terrible argument about Phyllis. She told Cliff that Phyllis was the type to trap a boy. He was not sure what she meant by trapping him but had an idea. His friend Jason had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he was