The Atlantic

A Friendship That Fuels a Bigger Notion of <em>Family</em>

“It’s comforting to have a village of companions in this adventure to raise these children.”
Source: Wenjia Tang

Each installment of “The Friendship Files” features a conversation between The Atlantic’s Julie Beck and two or more friends, exploring the history and significance of their relationship.

This week she talks with two couples—Jenny and Marisa (parents to Atlas and Blaise), and Lora and Michelle (parents to Finnley and Tegan)—who had their children using the same sperm donor. Though they originally were just hoping for their kids to connect, the parents found themselves forging a unique friendship of their own and blurring the line between friend and “family.” In this interview, they discuss the hopes and fears that come with meeting your kids’ donor siblings, finding a “village” that supports both them and their children, and why their families have connected so deeply.

The Friends:

Jenny Bowman-Frye, 37, an operations specialist for Starbucks who lives in San Francisco
Marisa Bowman-Frye, 36, a human-resources director who lives in San Francisco
Lora Liegel, 37, a farmers’ market director, author, and creator of the Second Parent Project who lives in Bellingham, Washington
Michelle Metzler, 36, a waste-management professional who lives in Bellingham, Washington

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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