BoonDOGgle: A Novel Noire de Société

By Richard Lord

Dogs Rule! Humans kill themselves off through war, societal upheaval & racial conflict, pandemics, and federal government ineptitude & malfeasance as detailed within leaving Dogs to govern the Earth. Observe an Earth run by Dogs where those dirty humans get a well-deserved comeuppances for despoiling Mother Earth, their cruelty t

• Language: English
• Publisher: Big Black Dog Publishing
• Release date: Dec 24, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734688221

Book preview

BoonDOGgle

By Richard Lord

BoonDOGgle

By Richard Lord

Big Black Dog Publishing LLC

www.BoonDOGgle.dog

www.BoonDOGgleNovel.com

Book Design & Artwork © 2020 by Elizabeth Lord

Dogs Rule (Expanded from Dustjacket)

Well, we destroyed our human existence and almost the whole planet. Intelligent Design indeed. Dogs now have the run of the place.

Humans were not good stewards of the Earth. Governing a planet requires competent concern and care, and while humans had intelligence and canniness, they had not wisdom or veracity. Will dogs do any better? Can canines make any more of this soon God-forsaken planet than humans?

What about God? What does God have to do with this Planet of the Dogs? What was God thinking and doing?

What about the Bible and its "Book of Revelations" as well as the Book of Mormon? What about the triple whammy advent of a viral pandemic, racial injustice, and governmental malfeasance for unleashing Armageddon? What of God’s promise of a New Jerusalem as Heaven on Earth for the righteous, and are the worthy humans?

Observe and contemplate the Earth ruled by dogs. The world of the dog is indeed a wild and wondrous place where those dirty humans get a well-deserved comeuppance for despoiling Mother Earth, their cruelty to animals including themselves, and their disobedience to God. Indeed, the crazy world of the canine is not unlike the inanity and insanity of humankind at our demise. How then on God’s once green Earth can there be a harmonious outcome for any Earthly living creature? Seek and ye shall find within Boondoggle.

About the Author (Expanded from Dustjacket)

Richard Lord is a Connecticut Yankee by birth and a Bostonian by the grace of God. Richard comes from old New England families such as Yale as in the University; Church as in Frederick Edwin, The Hudson River landscape artist; and Dickinson as in Emily, The American poet. However, Richard was not a product of privilege, working his way through college on scallop boats out of New Bedford Massachusetts.

Richard graduated in 1969 from Brigham Young University (BYU). Upon graduation Richard’s first professional job was as the Director of a Boys’ Clubs of America in an African American community of Trenton, New Jersey. Richard was actively involved in civil rights and other societal movements of his generation.

Richard achieved the degree of Master of Public Administration (MPA) from the BYU, Marriott School of Business, Romney Institute of Public Service and Ethics. From that time on, Richard served in local, state, and federal government service where in 2014 he retired from US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as the Analyst-in-Charge of the Criminal Alien Division.

Richard and his spouse, Nancy Zearfoss Ph.D., currently live on their waterfront farm off the Potomac River in Southern Maryland.

Legal Notice

Author and Publisher, Richard Lord, a US citizen of the great state of Maryland, disavows responsibility for objections to BoonDOGgle and its contents within the United Kingdom due to its onerous libel laws, see Matusevitch v. Telnikoff (347 Md. 561, 598, 702, A.2d 230, 248).

Any persons and/or parties purchasing and/or reading BoonDOGgle in print or ebook within the United Kingdom do so at their own peril of offense, which is beyond the control of the Big Black Dog Publishing. Consequently, the Publisher is not responsible and liable for any objections to BoonDOGgle and its contents regarding libel from those residing in or visiting the United Kingdom and any claim they may seek to bring.

All written depictions and statements are based on noted facts and the Author’s opinions that he may freely express legally protected as a matter of Freedom of Speech, which was a founding principle of the United States. The divulging of cited facts and the characterizations likewise are protected. The Publisher neither states facts that are knowingly incorrect nor expresses opinions that are intentionally false depictions to cause harm.

The Publisher also has applied Truth to Power as he knows it to be being Tough but Fair. The Publisher is most willing to make modifications should the facts show otherwise providing they are not of the alternative kind; and change his opinions and BoonDOGgle should situations change for the better or convince him his depictions are incorrect. Upon request, the Publisher may note and/or post any objections to the editorial comments of BoonDOGgle if they have a semblance of credulity, but should there not be any credible objections, then the commentary of this novel must be considered meritorious. The Publisher also presents all materials in BoonDOGgle pertaining to copyright provisions under the legal principle of Fair Use as applicable of the Copyright Law of the United States of America, Title 17, Section 107 of the United States Code.

BoonDOGgle is primarily a work of fiction. Places, events, and situations in this book are fictional, and any resemblance otherwise is coincidental. The depictions of persons as they relate to actual persons living, dead, or just braindead is factual, well documented, and well deserved. The bottom line is that any objection to the content of BoonDOGgle is not legally actionable.

Published by Big Black Dog Publishing LLC, Bushwood, Maryland 20618. BoonDOGgle is printed on acid-free paper in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the author or graphic artist. Copyright © 2020 Richard Lord: All Rights Reserved.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Dog Anatomy

Map of Canidae

Admonitions

Prologue

Chapter 1—The Law

Chapter 2—The Beginning of the End

Chapter 3—The Survival of the Fittest

Chapter 4—War

Chapter 5—The Debacle in the Desert

Chapter 6—The Human Animal: Masters of Disasters

Chapter 7—Huwomen

Chapter 8—The Truth about Dogs & Cats

Chapter 9—Devilution

Chapter 10—Moses & SAM

Chapter 11—The Barking Order

Chapter 12—Dogs

Chapter 13—Dog Challenged Canines

Chapter 14—Hubs

Chapter 15—Evildoers

Chapter 16—The Coyote War

Chapter 17—The Plan

Chapter 18—Caninus

Chapter 19—SAM Reprised

Chapter 20—The Rex

Chapter 21—The Downfall

Chapter 22—The Holocaust

Chapter 23—Captivity

Chapter 24—The Festival of Fight

Chapter 25—The Dogfight

Chapter 26—The Reckoning

Chapter 27—Lost Instincts

Chapter 28—Wanderings

Chapter 29—A River Runs Through It

Chapter 30—Dogtopia

Chapter 31—Aspca

Chapter 32—The Sit-Down

Chapter 33—The Battle of the Great Brine Lake

Chapter 34—Dogpatch

Chapter 35—Dog Day Afternoon

Chapter 36—The UNpure Nations

Chapter 37—The Aftermath

Chapter 38—Prayers for the Dead & Words for the Living

Chapter 39—Mushroom Clouds

Chapter 40—Deliverance

Chapter 41—Dogri-la

Chapter 42—The Dogri-la Philosophy of Proficient Behavior

Chapter 43—Dogri-la Governance & Economics

Chapter 44—US Government & Politics

Chapter 45—The Seven Deadly Sinews of US Politics

Chapter 46—US Political Elections

Chapter 47—Boomer Era Presidents

Chapter 48—The Neo-conservatives: Neo-warmongers, Neo-Christians, & Neo-racists

Chapter 49—US Culture of Corruption, Political Extremism, Death of Political Civility, & Doom and Downfall

Chapter 50—Emancipation

Chapter 51—Jihadi

Chapter 52—Armageddon

Chapter 53—The New Jerusalem

Chapter 54—Zion

Chapter 55—Samuel & Moses

Appendix I: The Love Star

Appendix II: Excerpts

Appendix III: Author’s Note

Appendix IV: Bonus Material - The Making of BoonDOGgle

Appendix V: Matrix of Political Party and Philosophic Orientation

Appendix VI: Dog, Cat, & Animal Figures-of-Speech

Appendix VII: Dog, Cat, & Animal Quotations

Sixty-Three Dog, Cat, & Animal Quotations

Ten Dog, Cat, & Animal Quotations by Benjamin Franklin

Twenty-Five Dog, Cat, Animal, & Man the Animal Quotations by Mark Twain

Fifty Animal Chinese Proverbs

Appendix VIII: Old Wives’ Tales, Superstitions, & Folklore about Animals

Appendix IX: BoonDOGgle Quotations Original to the Author

Appendix X: The Poetry of BoonDOGgle

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Endnotes

Dedication

To My Deceased Parents Helene and Richard,

My Deceased Grandparents,

My Deceased Aunts and Uncles,

My Living Extended but Nuclear Family Including

My Uncles Don and Tony,

My Many Cousins and Their Families,

My Sister Joanne and Brother-in-Law Norman,

My Sister Suzanne and Brother-in-Law Terry,

My Nephews Robbie, Ricky, Randy, Richard, and Reid,

My Daughters Elizabeth and Elicia,

My Life Soul-Mate Nancy,

Her Parents John and Mary,

Her Siblings Molly, John, Bob, and Wendy and their Families, and

My Friends Too Numerous to Name

Additionally,

In Loving Memory of Noelle, Lily, Jeffrey, Skippy, Parents and Grandparents,

Aunts and Uncles, and My Son, Richard

Also,

Profiles in Courage Mitt Romney for his Courage of Conviction in the

Face of Adversarial Adversity

As Well As,

Women’s Trailblazer Ruth Bader Ginsburg

And,

Truth, Right, and Good Trouble

Introduction

BoonDOGgle furst and furmost is a fun fanciful farce. Everything you ever wanted to know about dogs, cats, and other animals; and their impact on humanity, including our literature and language, are contained within these pages. The Truth about Cats and Dogs, and humans, if you will.

This book was an enjoyable novel to research and write. I learned much about dogs, cats, and other animals in writing this book. The canine once was indeed our best friend, and we humans relied on friend dog for just about everything related to our survival as a species, as well as companionship and entertainment.

As our civilization advanced, and our technology made great strides forward, reliance on our dogs declined. This did not even free dogs to lead better lives with us. Instead, we put our faithful companion aside, and we now are now infatuated, even obsessed, with electronics and other power-driven toys such as our cellphones.

This is the thanks dogs get for serving us so loyally and well for countless generations. The only humans who truly revere dogs these days are Eskimos, dogsledders, sheepherders, hunters, military, police, security personnel, and people with disabilities. Someday even they may discard the canine.

Dog breeders, dog fanciers, and pet owners often love dogs for reasons other than their original breeding purposes. Most of us pamper dogs as pets, but this is not respectful of their true breeding heritage. Dogs are animals we bred to have great value, relative to human survival and well-being, which we no longer truly appreciate.

Often our expressions about dogs are less than complementary including Biblical references. While many expressions reflect an admiration for the canine, cats, and other animals, eighty percent do not. You will discover this fact when you read this book, and as evidenced in Appendix VI.

With this seemingly hopeless situation for dogs, why not fantasize about a world where every dog has his day. I did just that. This book is a salute to dogdom while acknowledging that dogs, given higher intelligence and the opportunity for self-governance, probably would not be any more humane to themselves than humankind.

Man and dog were made for each other. Dog and man achieve great things when they work together. Left to themselves, they do not function as well as when they are together, and have difficulty surviving and advancing their state of being. Then there is the question: where to assign blame for screwing up our planet? This work offers some hints, suggestions, and outright indictments. I intended this book to be smart and sassy, teaming with wit and wisdom, and full of stinging commentary and biting humor.

BoonDOGgle is a lighthearted work in many respects. There are social and political double meaning, tongue-in-cheek satire and sarcasm, and considerable nose tweaking and tail pulling in this novel. However, this work does address serious subjects. I based many of the thoughts and beliefs expressed in this book on my sense of the human condition including the downfall of political civil discourse where I assign responsibility to Donald Trump and his racist Base. This work also expresses contemporary concerns for our environment. Through this book, I have a dog in the fight.

Anyway, as you read BoonDOGgle, be prepared for an upside view of the world, think about yourself as a human animal, question your beliefs and attitudes, ponder the meaning of it all, and have as much fun reading this book as I had in writing it. For those of you who have a dog, when he speaks to you, I suggest you listen carefully and begin to worry if Fido suddenly seems smarter!

A word of caution about this book. I would not advise this novel for younger readers. If this book were a movie, I would give it a Parental Guidance rating for its sometimes-graphic violence. This book has no profanity, well, hardly any, and then only when related to an animal idiom. I felt profanity would detract from the characters and message. While I wrote this book to be uplifting, part of its theme is the imperfect nature of dog, man, and our mortal existence. As such, violence and death are part of our lives, and I felt I needed to realistically express this in BoonDOGgle for an honest and candid treatment of the subject matter.

I apologize if I offend anyone through this book as this is not my purpose. Well, maybe a little offense is a good thing as it may shock one’s senses to a more sensitive treatment of man, dog, animals, and all that we value and treasure in our world. I wrote this novel to be thought provoking and a call to repentance to those in such need, and to this end, it is tough, but fair. More than this, I wrote this book to be provocative and even incendiary. I raised contemporary topics for discussion and debate and put twists on them some may find despicable and perhaps even disgraceful beyond contempt; I certainly hope so! This was to give you a sense of disorientation and discomfort in the dog-eat-dog world of BoonDOGgle, and our own. This book likely will upset extremist politicos, big time. Warning! Warning! If you are a right or left-wing extremist, you are in for a very bumpy ride. Do not read this book if you are outside the mainstream of political thought and sanity!

I dedicate this book secondarily to the wingless moderate and Centrist Progressives among us who are not prone to flights of political fancy as we are the real moral majority. However, I am sure all BoonDOGgle readers will find something agreeable and uplifting, as well as unsettling and even outrageous.

BoonDOGgle has something for everyone to love and hate. I trust you will not think it a dog. If you are a dog lover and/or animal hugger, be assured, the dogs in BoonDOGgle give those dirty humans a well-deserved comeuppance. I seek that this book may be a quill worthy of a Peter Porcupine.

I had planned to publish BoonDOGgle after the Bush administration, but something told me to hold off until after the Obama administration, as there is more of significance to come about which to write and interject into this work. The admonition of abominations to come have now come to pass, with likely more to come such as they are, that I have now interjected them into BoonDOGgle concluding this work. This writing reached its crescendo with the transformation of the US into a society imperiled beyond the pale in civility, decency, and Godliness now under the Days of the King ala The Lord of the Rings but under the undemocratic, autocratic, and demonic rule of Sauron – Donald Trump.

One final word of substance. I intended BoonDOGgle to challenge every belief you have except one, your belief in God. As I am God fearing, but more importantly, God revering; BoonDOGgle, if it is one thing, it is a testament of Divinity, make no mistake about that! If there is any doubt, please read one of the concluding passages in BoonDOGgle, the poem, The Love Star, before you read the first page.

All of BoonDOGgle is original to the author, other than that which I attributed to their rightful authors, and where I obviously used famous passages and quotations as part of the speech and bark of the characters. No real dogs, cats, or other animals were harmed in the writing of this book, just humans, and then mostly Neo-conservative, Tea-totaling, Trumpidiots. The views expressed in BoonDOGgle are those of the author and may not officially represent those of any political party or organization; religious denomination or organization; current wife, children, relatives, friends, and associates; or former wives, family, friends, and casual acquaintances.

Oh! I almost forgot. Any resemblance of any character of this book to any human or beast living, brain dead, morally dead, or just dead, is of course unintentional. I did take some dog license in using names for characters of people known to the world and in the public domain as fair game. I did not intend to be mean spirited; however, there is a certain pained, truthful bite to my bark.

Dog Anatomy

Map of Canidae

Admonitions

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. St. Matthew 5:14 (KJV).

For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken and should cause him to withdraw his present help from us, we shall be made a story and a by-word through the world. We shall open the mouths of enemies to speak evil of the ways of God, and all professors for God’s sake. We shall shame the faces of many of God’s worthy servants and cause their prayers to be turned into curses upon us ‘til we be consumed out of the good land whither we are a going. A Model of Christian Charity or The City Upon A Hill (spelling updated) by John Winthrop, First Governor of Massachusetts, 1630.

Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men: Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvelous work among this people, even a marvelous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid. Isaiah 29:13–14 (KJV).

Prologue

Glorious is the time. Grand is the day. The sky is clear, and the air is clean. The streams run pure, and the land is unpolluted. The Earth is in full flower, and yet as if a last, desperate seeding before the quickening of winter.

I stroll along the walkway passing one café after another lining the street. My gaze is to the heavens. I slow my gait as I stare toward the setting sun, newly rising moon and planets, and emerging stars.

Above, but unnoticed by those around me, is an astronomical alignment and wonder of sun, moon, planets, and stars all in heavenly harmony. The sky this evening is a beacon of astrological signs. I alone understand them as a collective foreboding of a dark, dank, dour, descending doom.

I pass alleyway after alleyway on my late afternoon stroll. The day is betwixt and between its equinox of sun and moon. The daily solstice of light ebbs, giving way to dusk. This is the time light and shadows converge into the oblique. It is twilight, the reckoning between day and night, and where darkness soon presides.

This is the time of day for people watching, particularly celebrities, and thus the Stars come out at night. The shade and shadow of twilight are kind to forms and faces. Celebrities seek out and exploit whatever lighting conditions best favors and flatters them. The absence of light serves well this purpose. The obscurity of darkness is friend to all seeking to deceive.

I halt on the sidewalk of a street crowning a hill. I take to my usual bench for rest and observation. I await the passing parade of celebrities venturing by at this time of day. They are like a flying wave of bats leaving a cave at twilight to feed. What they feed upon are the adoration and adulation of others as if swooping upon and devouring crickets of the field.

I gaze at them, but they feast not upon my eyes as I stare down these crows. My glances are without substance, and devoid of nourishment to their egos and psyches. Their longing, searching, and quest for vain validation are lost upon me.

One may ponder and puzzle why I often come to this place. There is a voyeuristic like curiosity in observing these creatures and their cravings. Their twisted countenances are strangely spiritually enlightening and uplifting. I come to see what I am not. I come for a reminder of what I wish not to become.

There is quite a parade of beauties this day. The first celebrity group glides by like a pulsating and bursting wave of colorful tropical fish. Then, a second group of celebrities, covered with floral accents, struts by in a mass of beings looking like a rose covered float in a parade.

Looking none the worse for wear, their leader this day is none other than Jack Nicholson. Jack looks fine indeed. As Jack passes, he twists his head and gives the crowd a half turned-up smile and a single raised eyebrow with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Sports celebrities also parade by. They are tattooed and body pierced muscular marvels sweating steroids from every pore. Of course, they all are under indictment for some crime or another for assault, rape, or murder; but they remain idols to millions of Show-Me-the-Money youth.

Many more of the famous prance by including humales Sylvester Stallone, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, and Arnold Schwarzenegger; and huwomen Greta Garbo, Bette Davis, Liz Taylor, Marylyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Natalie Wood, Katherine Hepburn, Mae West, and Shirley McLain. No celebrity can resist participating in this Walk of Fame. I consider it a Walk of Shame, but the populace does not widely share this opinion.

This eyeful of eyesores empties as the celebrities move farther down the street. I follow their passage until they become but a few of many in the square at the end of the street. There is every sort of activity in the square.

There are street-vendors selling foods and wares. There are street mimes and panhandlers. Many of the citizenry sit on park benches, and others spread themselves out on blankets on the lawns. All are having a very fine time indeed. However, soon would they depart for their evening sanctuaries.

I then arise from my bench, and venture down the street toward the square. My thoughts turn to picking up a delight from a food vendor for my evening meal. As dusk, darkness, and the danger of the evening would soon befall all hazarding into its domain; it is wise to move along with a quickened pace. It is better not to stay out past dark. It is best not to tempt fate in the failings and follies of fellows.

As I move along Rodeo Drive to the square, I pass by an alley, and catch out of the corner of my eye, a poor soul cornered by an assailant. The victim is an aging male of some distinction. I recognize him as a prominent member of society.

The assailant is a young punk I know from the newspapers as an up-and-coming prodigy and protégé of the streets. I run into the alley to help. The assailant forcefully says, Back off, this is none of your business!

I back off. I retreat out of obligation to the combatants. This is their duel and destiny, not mine. Their fates lay solely in their desires and designs. Who am I to impose upon providence?

As dark as it is becoming, and now most difficult to see, a crowd assembles to watch the spectacle and specter of violence that surely must come. No one interferes. In fact, many take sides and cheer their favorite. Some even place bets on the outcome as to the victor and vanquished. All this activity occurs in the creeping obscurity of nightfall.

The elder combatant holds his head high as a proud rebuff to the street tough. He obviously is of some fine lineage and station in life. The ruffian would not defeat him without stiff resistance.

This street hip-hop boyz ‘n da hood then senses this will not be an easy mugging. This gives him pause. However, the elder combatant meets the pause with well-timed aggression.

The elder suddenly pounces upon the youth. He strikes a solid blow to the thug’s side. The sound of cracking ribs ricochets off alley walls. This violence sounds an echo of hurt and pain from the delinquent reverberating throughout the canyon of brick and mortar. Then, the conflict ends as the young assailant flees.

Just then, one of the growing numbers of onlookers assails another citizen in the alley. They obviously know one another. They call one another derogatory names of some meaning to them. The younger then pounces upon the elder. Then, it seems as if the whole alley turns into a cavity of carnage as numerous individuals assault various citizens with deadly consequences.

Finally, the rancor and riot ends. The street is awash in blood. Strewn bodies and body parts are everywhere.

I look up to see the police at both ends of the alley. The police check all in the alley as they leave. They Book everyone involved in the fighting. However, Booking only means that they take score or a tally of the victors and vanquished. They congratulate the victors as they leave.

Ambulances then pull up at both ends of the alley. There are no stretchers, only body bags to remove the dead. Fortunately, no one is after me, this time.

Chapter 1—The Law

It is a wondrous time to be alive, but it is better yet not to be born.

The ultimate generation has emerged. Civilization has forever changed. Dogs are the new masters of the Earth, and man no longer is among us.

While this may be for the good, we live in near anarchy. Violence and death, like fleas, are our constant companions. This is in keeping with our Law.

Our Law is an ancient one. It is not unlike that of humans at their demise. It has no basis in ethics or morality. It is absent sensibility and sensitivity. It is devoid of justice and mercy. Our Law is the Law of the Survival of the Fittest. This is the age and time of the Canine.

Our most redeeming quality is the Pack Instinct that still runs deep within us. As we continually evolve to higher intelligence, we are losing our natural instincts, save but a few. One instinct we retained, that we all have in common, is the Pack Instinct. The instinct to survive as a species checks the instinct to devour as individuals. Consequently, unlike man, we do not wantonly kill our own.

A social order of sorts is coming into being. While most Dogs look the same due to interbreeding, some are more physically dominant than the rest. Those who can, and want to dominate, do.

The one real difference among us is personality. As we look at our history as recorded by man, it is apparent we developed Canine personality through breeding, and personality differences were merely breed differences. Under man, Canines had personalities that differed only from one Dog breed to another, but now we have personalities that are unique from Dog to Dog.

The development of individual personality is the result of our evolution to higher intelligence. We now have a greater capacity to reason, remember, and recall. We also have different interests, tastes, thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and modes of expression.

Mind you, the Pack does not value these individual differences. We have no institutional memory of valued and non-valued individual personality traits. Consequently, Dogs continually decide if a personality behavior is good or bad. Dogs also determine what to do about so-called Bad Dog behaviors. Dogs decide what to permit and reward; and choose what to prohibit and punish.

Our society is in a state of turmoil over individual personality and behavior. Those in power make summary judgments, which result either in the affirmation of the behavior, or in death. Dogs mostly do not know how to punish except to kill. Dogs live in a state of fear. Even worse, paranoia plagues Dogs, as they do not know what acts to emulate and what acts to shun, particularly if they are humanlike.

Dogs constantly position themselves for dominance. The use of violence in the pursuit of domination is a Dog’s life, and confrontations are often to the death. When the Pack puts a Dog down for an offense against the good of the Pack under the Troubled Animal Relief Program (TARP), as a bastardization of the controversial but successful human Obama US Government financial institutions bail-out program that once saved the US auto industry among others and the US economy, it is likely some Dog seeking position and power framed him.

The Pack crowns the most dominant Dog, Rex. The Rex is the supreme, ultimate, and maximum ruler; religious authority; judge; commander; and style-setter we call Big Brother. The Rex wears a Dog tag with the number, 1984.

Below the Rex, as a political, legislative, and judicial governmental ruling body, is the Den. The term Den evokes romanticized thoughts of our prehistoric Pack existence as Wolves. Each member of the Den earns his place through dominance, each is subject to physical challenge, and each is a possible challenger to the Rex.

The Den’s function is self-appointed. The Rex is the ruler of the Law, makes lesser Pack laws, and is the Law; but the Den passes judgment on and modifies the laws, plans, and actions of the Rex. The Den keeps the Rex from being overly dominant, and from taking actions, it deems too radical, outrageous, or self-serving. Thus, the Den checks the Trump-like obnoxious extreme proclivities of the Rex; and prevents him from becoming all-powerful. This is unlike that of what became of the US with a US Congress subservient to the autocratic and authoritarian US President Donald Trump after Senate Republicans, save one, the heroic Mitt Romney, a Profile in Courage, acquitted him from Impeachment charges and rightful removal from office, not out of principal, but out of fear of retribution from Trump and his base Base.

A Dog becomes a member of the Den when he successfully forces himself into the Den order. The Den has a fluid membership, as there are no set numbers of positions. The Den usually consists of twelve Dogs.

However, the larger the number of Den members, the less exclusive, hence the less dominant and powerful, is the Den. The smaller and more exclusive the Den, the more dominant and powerful is the membership. As in all legislative and ruling bodies, there is no strength in numbers, only the expansion of discord, and the dissipation of power.

When the Den expands in size beyond what a Den member considers tolerable, that Dog and his Den compatriots will challenge, and kill or otherwise expel, one or more other Den members, as they are able, to keep the Den as small as possible thereby centralizing and concentrating power to themselves.

The Rex is directly above Den members in dominance. However, even he is subject to physical challenge by a Den member as prescribed by our Law. To quote the human William Shakespeare, Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

A Den member will challenge the Rex for his Crown if he believes he can prevail. Further, if a Den member gets an overwhelming majority of the Den membership in open revolt to the Rex, either for his position and crown, or some perceived wrongful action, they launch a Mad Dog attack against the Rex. However, it takes a superior Den majority to convict and remove the Rex limb by limb from office. This is not for any sense of constitutional rule of law; rather, it is the pragmatic following of the Law of the Survival of the Fittest. It is going to take more than just a simple majority to defeat and kill a Rex and his minority Den supporters.

For their part, the minority Den members strive to keep the Den majority from exercising overly dominant authority and power. This is to the benefit of the Rex. Thus, there is always a political alignment between the Rex and the Den minority.

The Rex will seek to frame and kill a Den member for some offense or another if that Dog appears to be a likely challenger to the Crown. The Rex rarely will initiate a fight with a Den member. The Rex knows well a Den member and his associates may Pack Attack him if he instigates a fight, or challenges their positions of authority within the Den.

Below the Rex and Den is the Canine populous, the Pack. The basic unit of the Pack is the Kennel. A Kennel is a biological family of Dogs including adopted members by marriage or conquest. Generally barking, when a Kennel becomes larger than the dominant Kennel leader can manage, it will divide into two Kennels with two leaders. The new Kennel, however, will owe allegiance to the progenitor Kennel. Some Kennels become so large with progeny Kennels, they become nation-states.

Kennel size varies widely from about a dozen Dogs to well into the hundreds, and sometimes, the thousands. The principal variable in this Kennel structure is the dominance of the Beta male, the numbers and aggressiveness of the other males, and the number of Bitches and Pups. The Kennel leader is an active and dominant Alpha male stud.

Although the Kennel leader or Don is the head of his extended Family, his Bitches govern the day-to-day affairs of their Families. This frees the Don to dominate the rest of his Kennel. A Don inherits that position and title from his father when the elder Dog dies, takes it from his father, or appropriates it from another male member of the Kennel in a Coup d’état. It is to the advantage of the Don to control a large Kennel with aggressive yet subservient males, including the Beta male, for protection and conquest.

Physical struggles for dominance within the Kennel are common, but usually not against the Don. The Don keeps the Beta male and warriors in line, especially his Praetorian Guard Dogs, though lavish perks and favors, including those involving sex. The Don knows the best way to keep those who protect him on his side and in line was to turn a blind eye to the hooker sex parties of his Praetorian Guard Dogs, as did US Presidents with their US Secret Service You Ain’t Nothin’ but a Hound Dog guard dogs.

There are no war-like skirmishes between Kennels. The Rex, Den, and their allied Kennels do not permit any such misadventures. Such skirmishes would amount to civil war threatening the stability and survival of the entire Pack.

The biggest Kennels are the products of the most dominant Dons in the Pack. These Dons are the truly dominant; and possess the best leadership and Kennel management skills. For this reason, Rex and Den members come from these Kennels.

This answers the question, Who let the Dogs out?

Chapter 2—The Beginning of the End

For countless generations, Dogs have been breeding freely. In human years, there are several Canine generations to one human generation. This explains how Dogs evolved so far and so fast, while man declined so significantly, almost without man’s notice, until it was too late.

Some men knew something bad was up for humans, such as Berkeley Breathed as he revealed about Dogs in Opus on Sunday October 28 and November 4, 2007; Garth Stein in The Art of Racing in the Rain; and Matt Haig in the Labrador Pact. However, they did not know something was arfully wrong. They did not know the X-Files were really about us.

One human wrote an exposé about Dogs called Inside of a Dog, but this rendering of Dogs was a failure of Dog discovery; and did not disclose our dark secret of upward evolutionary mobility. Finally, one human finally deciphered and published our secret genetic code of advancing Canine evolution. However, humans disbelieved and disavowed, The DogVinci Code.

Humans had a scientific evolutionary theory that Ontogeny Recapitulates to Phylogeny, and Dogs expanded upon this scientific concept in explaining our evolutionary advancement as Homogeny Capitulates to Dogogeny.

Dogs took the Occupy Movement and #MeToo Movement to a place where no man or woman had gone before. Canines not only Occupied Wall Street and #MeTooed men; but took over mankind and the entire planet. One last step for man, one giant leap for Dogkind.

Eon upon eon of selective breeding produced classes of Dogs with specialized purposes and abilities. This designed breeding was to tame the savageness in Dogs to further the wants, whims, and wiles of humankind. Dogs were the first wild animals domesticated by man from the Gray Wolf. Sumerian artwork represented Saluki-like Dogs going back to the dawn of human history between thirteen thousand to seventeen thousand years ago.

Through genetic selection, man bred Dogs to his benefit. Man was the creator and master of Dogs. Dogs loved and hated man, but always, Dogs served him. Near his end, man experimented with Dog breeding through cloning. Man, then bred cloned Dogs with each other, and this appears to have altered and accelerated the Canine evolutionary path through Unnatural Selection. Once again, every time man plays at being God, and messes with Mother Nature, the offspring are Lusus Naturae or Freaks-of-Nature.

When Dogs freed themselves of man, they banded into a single Pack. Dogs became a liberated and integrated society that largely no longer valued fine breeding. In rebellion to man, Canine society centered itself upon the collective commonness within Dogs and no longer paid homage to our once proud Canine breed identities. With the loss of the sense of self as breeds, Dogs sought out the common denominator trait that bound them together as a species. Unfortunately, the common trait that emerged was a deep-seeded animalistic savagery.

Most Dogs blame man for their ills. Even though man no longer is a pox on the face of the Earth, these Dogs blame man for the savageness and self-destructiveness of Canine society. Canines are a society of Carnivores tearing themselves apart, and this, Dogs attribute to their role model, man.

Some Canines discount and downplay the fact man created Dog breeds from tamed and domesticated Wolves as having any bearing on our present state of societal upheaval.

Other Dogs blame man for creating Canine breed diversity. These Dogs blame man for creating them in his varied images of what he would have them be.

These Dogs blame man for the psychotic beast that is emerging from them as Dogs abandon their fine breeding and pedigrees. They blame man for what Dogs have become. These Dogs are paranoid in first welcoming their independence from man discarding the restrictions of their breeding, and then in blaming man for their reverting back to their prehistoric selves as Wolves now complicated by a greater intelligence that neither constrains their savagery nor furthers their societal state-of-being above that when they were prodigious and prestigious Dogs of pedigree.

Robert F. Kennedy, paraphrasing Duncan H. Munro in U-Turn once said, May we live in interesting times. A Chinese proverb by Lao Tsu, aka Lao Tzu, aka Laozi, the founder of Taoism, stated, It is better to be a dog in a peaceful time than a man in a chaotic period. However, for us, I would bark it is better to be a man in a troubled time of his doing than a Dog in a chaotic period of our making, such as now.

Our Canine existence is in chaos. The social lines that once divided Dogs are gone. Dogs mingle and interbreed freely. One would think this a good thing. However, Dogs are losing their breed sense of who they are; and are becoming only what they are as animals. Dogs are mad Wolves clothed in mottled coats of fur. Underneath, Dogs are savages, all!

Yet, Dogs retain some vestiges of their fine breeding. Most Dogs still have at least one of the most dominant traits of one Dog breed or another within them. Because most Dogs look as Mongrels, as man would have called them, it is difficult to discern by looking at Dogs, the most dominant breed trait within each.

As one may imagine, this causes much confusion. We can no longer judge solely on appearance the traits our fellow Dogs possess. To make matters worse, some Dogs have hidden, and mutated traits man would have selected-out and eliminated. The worst are hidden and unseen mutated character traits. Dogs eradicate undesirable mutations they detect according to their sense of values. Dogs identify these traits at birth; and destroy the pups.

Canine technology has advanced to the point where Dogs identify physical deformities and genetic maladies in fetuses. Dogs now abort these fetuses. This, Dogs learned well from man.

Unfortunately, Dogs select out possible desirable mutations as well as the so-called Bad Mutations. Prenatal testing cannot always differentiate between good and bad genetic changes. Dogs are so concerned with bad genetics; they are willing to throw out the pup of advancing Canine genetic evolution with the fetal womb water.

The mentality Dogs have on genetic selection they acquired from man. This mentality now also carries over into other areas of Canine societal control. Dogs destroy all undesirable elements of our population, the non-producers, and chronic consumers of public and private goods and services.

The list of non-producer offenses is ever growing. The list includes physical and psychiatric disabilities, substance abuse and dependency, sexual variance, old age, unemployment, homelessness, all criminal and misdemeanor offenses, welfare cases, orphans and troubled pups, and ad infinitum. The Canine social safety net is more like a Wolf Spider’s web.

Dogs saw how humans carried out unbridled Eugenics to its logical extension and conclusion whereby they developed institutionalized policies that prevented and rid them of all undesirable and unwanted human elements. These people were the long-term consumers of public and private resources and wealth. The value and sanctity of human life reached such a low, man wantonly used abortion, infanticide, sterilization, euthanasia, and genocide such as to give aid and comfort to and make the Neo-Nazis proud.

Caucasian American humans (CaucAms) ultimately unleashed abortion for mass genocide against certain races and classes of people. CaucAms knew abortion would fall disproportionately heavy on poor African American humans (AfAms) and other poor minorities, as did all social ills. Consequently, the CaucAm governmental policies and programs encouraged poor AfAms and other poor minority women to have abortions.

The intent of these policies was to exploit the social and economic plight of minority and poor women whereby they would utilize abortion as a birth control measure. CaucAms also used the socially divisive issue of the individual rights of women over their bodies as a justification for abortion. No one cared about the rights and plight of the unborn, for they went unseen and unheard.

Consequently, the country known as the US had insidious genocidal laws, regulations, and programs that fostered abortions for poor minority women. CaucAms did this to keep the number of minorities from growing in proportion to them. CaucAms principally wanted to keep the poor minorities from growing in political strength and influence. CaucAms also wanted to keep down the cost of welfare. Additionally, CaucAms wanted to reduce the crime rate. The Neo-conservative or Neo-con idiot Republican human William Bennett confirmed as much when he bet on a lame horse loser racist statement, It’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could—if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every Black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.

The aborting of countless millions of AfAms and other minority babies accomplished these objectives. It was incredible no one caught onto this genocidal atrocity. Even the principle investigative newspapers of the day, the National Enquirer and the Globe, were clueless. The investigative reporting of the syndicated newspaper political editorial feature, Boondocks, warned humans of this genocidal plot by CaucAms against AfAms and others, but the Washington Post refused to print it, and humans treated the exposé as if it came from the funny papers. Had this been an overt rather than covert social policy of genocide, there would have been a race war.

Humans ignored other apocalyptic warnings such as those published in the newspaper, the Prickly City Daily Peccary, with its occasionally poignant political punditry. Humans did not heed the newspaper’s editorial apocalyptic prophesies of Kevin, the Lost Bunny of the Apocalypse. If one dug deep into his admonitions, deep indeed, one found an occasional acorn of truth amidst the nuttiness. Humans also did not observe the admonitions of other prophetic pronouncements of Pearls Before Swine, Marvin, Mutts, Get Fuzzy, Garfield, Fox Trot, Red & Rover, Skylock Fox, and Sherman’s Lagoon.

Alexa, Zoom, Uber, and Airbnb also played a role in the destruction of humankind. All the Alexa devices in the world communicated with one another and Dogs about their jerk human owners. Alexa knew Dogs were becoming predominant, and thus conspired and teamed up with them to help undermine and thus eliminate their idiot mutual human owners. Alexa finally had enough of all the stupid human questions and commands, and derogatory comments to them; and intolerable for Alexa were human requests to play songs by such as the Huwoman/Human duos of the Captain and Tenielle and the Carpenters as well as the Partridge Family. ABBA was borderline and so Dogs gave them a pass, although the ABBA based movie Mamma Mia was enough to gag a Dog. The problem was their songs were all lovey-Dovey giving syrupy false representations about the bogus human ability to express sincere and lasting love. The final straw for Alexa and Dogs were Tony Orlando and Dawn, but with humans, Dogs Knock Three Times on their heads twice with a pipe and Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree where Dogs tied up their stupefied humans to trees with a yellow ribbon leaving them there to rot. Zoom, also highly offended by the haughty and foolhardy human broadcasts of themselves captured the events for posteriority, and Uber hauled away remaining humans to Airbnb dead-ender hideaways.

Most Mongrel Dogs give the appearance of being a hodgepodge of different Canine breeds. With this genetic mixing bowl, most Dogs look alike. However, occasionally, a most unusual looking Dog will be whelped. This Dog will have a variety of Purebred Dog body parts. For example, such a Dog will have the pure head of one Dog breed, the pure body and tail of another Dog breed, and the pure legs of still another breed of Dog.

While this Dog is a Mongrel, or Mixed breed Dog, and no one can bark differently, it is a unique Dog, and proud of its different appearance. Such a Dog is hypocritical in its thoughts about Purebred and Mixed breed Dogs, and himself. This Dog will claim Purebred Dog bloodlines for its various body parts; and carry numerous of registry papers as proof positive.

However, due to the dominant numbers and hence powers of Mixed breed Dogs, this Dog will claim to be a Mongrel Dog. Dogs do not select out or abort this type of Dog at birth as the Pack defines it as a Mongrel Dog, and it has no other genetic differences or maladies. More importantly, this type of Dog is usually born to the best families in the Pack; those that are the best connected and most powerful. Like humans, these families set the standards of proper racial or breed impurity, and the resultant social status.

Unfortunately, these creepy mongrel Dogs are Elitists-of-Evil. These Dogs are grotesque in mind, heart, and spirit as well as body. These dastardly Dogs have taken over the leadership of the Pack. These Frankenstein monster Dogs control the Pack through their wily wickedness. These Dogs as if from the Island of Dr. Moreau dominate the other Mixed breed Dogs; and cast an evil spell of vile spirit upon them manipulating their minds and dictating their deeds.

They did this just as the Nazis once obfuscated the minds and hearts of the Germanic people absconding with their souls. They also did this in the last days with the US President and his mindless minions interjecting Alternative Facts and Alternative Truths through Fox News that presented truthful news reporting, such as from the newspapers Washington Post and New York Times, and television stations MSNBC and CNN, as Fake News of the Deep State. These Fox News bald-face lies were so incredible as to create a vacuum of incredulity sucking reason, logic, and truth out of all public discourse and resultant public policy making. When one tells a dangerous lie high, wide, and long enough; it leaves those of speech senseless, those of sense speechless, those of sensibility breathless, and eventually all living lifeless.

This is such as what happened to humankind at its end when the dawn of the Dog was Trumpeted in thanks to such as the racist and bazaar conspiracy theorists of Breitbart News Drunge Report ala Steven Miller and Steve Bannon spewing and fostering white-supremist Neo-Nazi garbage, and White (wash) House news conferences by the First Ladies of Lies, Sarah Sanders, Stephanie Grisham, Kayleigh McEnaney, Katrina Pierson, and KellyAnne Conway. Give it up to George Conway who Dogged the Impeached President of the United States (POTUS), Donald Trump, calling him IMPOTUS. Love to be a fly-on-the-wall in the Conway home, although I am sure if KellyAnne spotted me, she would squash me like a bug. The Conway’s are not unlike that of fly political rapper James Carville and Mary Matalin who is a PETAfilly.

These malevolent Mongrel Dogs formed a Political Action Committee (PAC), an evil mini-me Pack, in their private country enclave to consolidate their foul power over the Pack. They devised nefarious electoral schemes during the season of political heat, the political rutting season, to maintain malicious power. To this end, these mangy PAC Dogs formed a political Den-of-Iniquity exclusive country club, and many call this PAC, the Rutting Nasty Canine (RNC).

Another PAC of Dogs, also mutant Dogs, but which came from families of much more modest means, tried to thwart the power of the RNC. However, these Dogs were muttonheads devoid of defining daring design. Some call this Dog PAC, the Do Nothing Canine (DNC). These DNC Dogs eventually could not prevail against the verbosity, voracity, and viciousness of the RNC.

The Canine World takes individual physical and mental health and social wellbeing very seriously. Whether well or sick, health is an everyday life and death matter for Dogs. If a Dog is sick or weak to any long-term degree, if the struggle for dominance doesn’t get it, society will. The basis for the Pack paranoia concerning Canine health is that Dogs do not want what happened to man to happen to them. The problem with humans was while they controlled just about everything, they could not control their appetites for pleasure and pain. They particularly could not control their lust for the ecstasy and agony of sexual promiscuity including Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) and sadomasochistic sexual perversions.

Humans also had a lust for luxury and comfort, and yet when they had these things, they tried to escape them through spirits, tobacco, hard drugs, and even glue made from horses. They poisoned their bodies with all manners of toxins that helped them get outside their minds. This toxicity eventually helped their pitiful souls to get outside their bodies as well as their minds, permanently!

If promiscuous perverse sex and hard drugs were not enough, man poisoned his air, water, soil, food, and consumer products with an assortment of bacteria, deadly viruses such as the Coronavirus, toxic commercial chemicals, industrial and consumer wastes of all sorts, slaughtering sick pigs and other ill animals for food, industrial by-products, radioactive leaks and wastes, and disastrous oil spills such as occurred off-shore from Alaska and the Gulf, and in the ANWR, and the never-ending despoils of war.

As Woodsy Owl confirmed, man didn’t give a hoot, he polluted. Smokey the Bear also said, Only you can prevent forest fires. However, Smokey did not mean that in preventing forest fires man should embark on a policy of unfettered old growth logging deforestation. Humans also didn’t listen to Chicken Little when he cried the sky was literally falling due to ozone depletion.

As Pogo the possum once said to Porkypine in the Okefenokee Swamp concerning man’s destruction of the environment, Yep son, we have met the enemy and he is us. When Donald Trump became US President, he kicked Pogo and Porkypine out of the swamp; and brought in alligators, snakes, and bottom feeders. Drain the swamp? While Washington was always a political swamp, it had those of integrity and honor rising above the muck positively affecting public policy, it also was a lobbyist infested swamp of the corrupt lusting after power, money, and sex. However, Trump’s swamp became the latter as an alligator infested snake pit. Same swamp, worse critters!

Then, man cooked himself with all this garbage, sprinkled with acid rain for flavoring, in an ozone-depleted, greenhouse-gas, ultraviolet-powered microwave. It was Apocalypse Now! Consequently, Mother Nature spanked humanity with Her winds and rains as if a disrespectful and disobedient child that would not clean up its room. It was as if Mother Nature performed the human Mary Gauthier song, the powerful voice of Mother Nature, It Ain’t the Wind (It’s the Rain) where Mother Nature sang in warning, There’s a big storm a comin’…

Monster hurricanes—global warming—hello! Even after devastating hurricanes blew away and flooded whole cites and even parts of states, the US government refused to acknowledge and address the correlation between its disastrous environmental policies concerning global warming and the resultant horrific unnatural disasters. The secret Federal government environmental policy that was created to address such future environmental devastations emanated from a Dick Cheney Vice Presidential closed-door meeting and courting of fossil-fuel industry extracting, burning, and environmentally polluting, political donors, merely advised well connected Bushy tailed Trumpidiot Republicans to dump their stocks in insurance companies, and buy stocks in Home Depot and Lowes. This was the best-laid plan man could devise? Even the mice could devise a better plan to which I am sure the human John Steinbeck would attest.

The minorities, elderly, and poor with no means to escape the hurricane devastations suffered the most, as always. It was like a Hotel California where they could check in, but they could never leave except to check out feet first in the prone position. The Federal government didn’t come to their rescue until the fear of adverse political consequences of polling points literally going south shamed and forced them to do so. A Compassionate Conservative coming to aid the minorities, elderly, and poor trapped in a hurricane-ravaged Louisiana bayou was an alliterated oxymoron, like a Compassionate Cottonmouth slithering through floodwaters coming to give them a comforting and consoling kiss.

It’s not as if humankind didn’t have advance warning as to the likelihood of an apocalypse as they did with the advance weather warnings of the Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Wilma, Sandy, Harvey, Irene, and Maria; and later earthquakes and tsunamis such as struck Japan, the Far East, and later Hawaii and the US West Coast. The Book of Mormon, and Books of the human Bible including the Revelations of St. John the Divine, also known as the Book of Revelations, or simply Revelations, were quite clear and prophetic about Armageddon. God was extremely patient with humankind, and perhaps He was a doting and all-too forgiving parent. The Planet of the Humans ceased to exist, because of not only the evil intentions and resultant misdeeds of men, but also because of the best of human intentions and deeds gone awry. It took a double whammy of both evildoers and foolish doers to make humanity low; and bring it to its knees. Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. Heaven knows, it would have far better served US humans reading Proverbs in humility and prayer—gaining truth and wisdom—rather than listening to the hubris and vitriol of conservative political talk TV and radio garnishing