Finding Fia

By C.G. Gates

In this continuing story of The Waters of Turtle Cay, Jilly hopes that three months is long enough to distance herself from a murder that needs to remain unsolved. Her return to the island is not the happy reunion she was hoping for. She tries to leave well enough alone, but it is more than she can live with. She asks for Jake's help, knowing it

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Oct 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781649905376

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

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I

t had been three months since I'd seen my daughter Fia. A daughter so different that she had to stay hidden. A daughter so different, she had to be raised by others. So different…that I had been asked to stay away. How long is enough time to settle into a new family without the distraction of a mother who loves you and whose heart aches every day? I had to find out.

I'd been back in New York City, mending a heart that was grieving the loss of my mother—for the second time. Leaving a daughter for what seemed like a hundred times. When would I get to start living a normal life? Never, I was afraid.

I had been showing up at work and going through the motions, but with little interest. Jake called me and tried to lift me up, but I needed him with me. The calls helped, but I needed to feel his arms around me. How long is long enough to distance yourself from a murder that needs to remain unsolved?

Three months is not long in the grand scheme of things, but to me, right then, it felt like a lifetime. I decided that I was not going to wait any longer. I called Stella and said, Get the plane ready. We're going back.

She brought her all-knowing blue eyes up to mine. Are you sure? Monique said there have been family members snooping around. I don't think it's safe. She was worried, but her complete devotion to me was her weakness.

Stella, I have to see her. Just a quick trip. I have to know that she's OK. I'll be careful. She's growing and changing, and if I stay away, she won't know me. I couldn't bear that. It will be good for Lucy too. She misses the island. I take her into work with me and she happily greets everyone with a wagging tail and a wriggling body and then crawls under my desk and sleeps all afternoon. I feel so guilty for bringing her to the city. I take her to Central Park to get a walk in and all she wants to do is chase the pigeons. She needs to run on the beach and chase the seagulls.

Stella knew I couldn't be deterred. She started to pack. It would be good for her too. It had been too long. I tried to talk her into returning to the island to stay with Thomas, but she wouldn't leave me.

Something told me not to let Jake know. I was sure he would try to talk me out of it. I knew he was worried. I was worried. It was just too much to ask of a mother.

We loaded the plane and were on our way. I had thought of calling Monique and Joe to let them know I was coming, but I didn't. I must have realized they would also try to talk me out of it.

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We arrived on a warm, sunny day, but I could see the storm clouds gathering in the distance. I hoped they would stay put. I rolled down the car windows to let the warm sea air in. There was a low rumble in the distance that didn't dampen my excitement to see Fia again. A few storm clouds would not stop me from holding that sweet girl in my arms. I didn't even want to stop at Turtle Cay and waste a minute to reach her. However, the reality was that it was getting too late in the afternoon to take the trip out to where they were. I would have to wait for morning.

As we approached the marina, I spotted Big Joe down at the dock. He stopped what he was doing and turned his large body toward us to watch our car approach and find a space to park. He watched as we exited. He didn't greet us. Lucy jumped from the car and ran to greet him with the same familiarity that she'd always shown him. She still had some of her puppy exuberance, which was hard to resist. He turned his back and pretended he didn't know her. Apparently, he didn't think this was a good idea either.

Just then, Monique came out of the marina store to place some garbage in a bin. She gave us a look and a slight nod, and returned inside. She had always had a scowl and uninviting manner toward me, but I thought we had moved past that. This was going to be a chilly reunion.

I entered the store and noticed several people shopping for supplies for an afternoon at sea. Monique acted as if she didn't know me, so instinct told me to do the same. As the customers moved around the store, I watched them out of the corner of my eye. Why were they here, and why did Monique give me a silent warning to stay quiet? I glanced at one of the men and thought he looked familiar. He had the same dark hair with a slight curl to it as Coops. He was taller, more handsome, but with the same build. My heart kicked into overdrive. I ran my fingers through my long blond hair and pulled it down across my cheek. A motion that a guilty person would use when trying to hide their face.

I gathered some food and a few necessary provisions and left to load them on the boat for the short trip to Turtle Cay.

The people who had been at the store were also approaching their boat. I ignored them—careful not to make eye contact.

Joe finally greeted me. Hello, miss, good to see you again. I'm sorry, your boat isn't ready, but if you need to get going right away, I can give you a lift in my boat.

What was he talking about? I looked at his intense stare. Something was up. That would be great. Thank you.

As he turned to get the boat ready to take us to Turtle Cay, I caught Stella's eye. I could tell she didn't know what was going on either.

Joe loaded our things, and we started out to sea. When we were out a ways, I said, Joe, what's going on?

Sorry, Jilly. Those guys loading the boat? They have been asking about Coop. They just got to the island, so we don't know much, but we think they are trying to find information about what happened. I wanted to warn you.

Oh, God, Joe! Do you think they are going out to the island where he disappeared? We have to warn Selena. Do you have the whistle?

The whistle was still a mystery to me, and I wasn't sure how to use it…exactly, but if it was for emergencies, then this was clearly one.

I do, Jilly, but we haven't seen them since that day. I think they have moved on.

What do you mean? Moved where?

We don't know. No one responds to the whistle and they haven't been seen. He looked uncomfortable and started to fidget with the controls, as if he would rather be anywhere other than delivering this news. He sadly continued, I know they want to remain unseen, but they have never hidden from us. I think they have left the area.

I was dumbfounded. I felt the tears start. That's my daughter. They can't just disappear without letting me know. Selena wouldn't do that. She wouldn't! I looked at Stella, who looked stunned. I had to remember that Selena was also her granddaughter.

Jilly, she would if she thought it would protect Sofia. You know she would.

I slumped down in the seat, feeling defeated. I had no idea what to do. No idea where to start looking for them. I couldn't believe that Selena would take off with Fia and not tell someone. Where would they go? I was overwhelmed, looking at the huge ocean before me with no idea where to start. My desire to see Fia was felt in every part of me. Then another emotion started to work its way into my heart. Anger! She had no right to do that. Was she blaming me for what happened? Blaming me for Mom's death? And Alex?

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We arrived on Turtle Cay just as the clouds started to unleash rain, with a fury. I looked toward the cottage and waited for the peace that I usually felt here upon arrival, but it didn't feel the same. I only felt a deep need to find Fia. I was impatient to start looking. I glanced up toward the rise behind the cottage and my heart ached. Lucy, however, was ecstatic to be back on the island. I could hardly hold her back.

Joe pulled up to the dock and unloaded our things. He was anxious to head back. Whether he wanted to get out of there before the storm intensified, or before I completely lost my mind, I wasn't sure. Either way, as soon as all our things were off the boat, he turned and headed back out to sea.

We ran for the cottage, but arrived soaking wet. I slipped off my shoes and sat on the porch swing. Stella sat beside me and held my hand. She gently rubbed up and down my arm. It brought back memories of when I was a child and she would comfort me over a childhood spat with Zinnia or a breakup with a boy. Once, and the only time I had a fight with Mom—I still couldn't remember what about—it was Stella who sat with me and calmed me down and said over and over, Your mom loves you so much, Jilly. She would give her life for you. Don't break her heart. She rubbed my arm the same way then. That was when I thought she was only our cook, but looking back now, I could see that she was so much more.

We sat quietly watching Lucy, dripping wet, quickly move around the covered porch to make sure everything was the same as she had left it. I envied her sheer joy at being back.

We will figure this out, Jilly. When Thomas gets here, he can help us. I could see she also felt the difference. In the past, I would have been in a hurry to put on my bathing suit and head out to see Fia, Mom, Alex, and Selena. Everything felt different.

She started into the cottage to open up the shutters and air it out. I sat in my swing and rubbed Lucy, who had now climbed into my lap, behind her ears. Lucy, girl, you are too big to be a lapdog. I didn't push her off. I needed the comfort of her sweet nature.

Staring out to sea, I wondered, where would they go? Could they still be there, in the cave, just not answering the call? I had to find out.

Thomas arrived a few minutes later. I pushed Lucy off my lap and ran down to the dock as he was tying up the boat. I flew into his arms. I didn't realize how much I had missed him. He would never again be just the caretaker. Since I had learned that he was my grandfather, I couldn't be casual about our relationship anymore. We would always be linked as family, and as people who had shared what few others had shared. Linked by secrets, and love, and great loss. We shared a knowledge that would be devastating if ever discovered.

He looked into my eyes and I could tell that he knew I had learned about my daughter—gone. Words didn't need to be spoken. I looked at his hair, which had once been blond like mine but now had more silver in it, covered in rain. The water ran down his face. I couldn't tell if tears were mixed in with the dripping rain. I continued to hold on to him and started to cry. That was how Stella found us. She approached and joined the hug. She had missed Thomas, and at that moment, I felt that this crazy situation had to change. They should be together, and I needed to learn how to survive without Stella living with me. They weren't young anymore and should be enjoying their final years together. I would deal with that later.

Thomas, do you know anything?

I don't, sweetheart. I've been looking, and I didn't want to worry you until I found out something. They have disappeared.

Could we head out there in the morning, just to look around? Maybe they are back.

Thomas looked at me with sympathy. He could see the devastation on my face. Of course! He looked as though he knew it would be futile but didn't want to disappoint me. We can head out first thing in the morning. I think this storm is going to blow over.

He looked over at Stella and gave her a heartfelt kiss. I've missed you. Their eyes didn't leave each other, and I thought about how far we had come in revealing our true relationships. Sweet Thomas didn't belong on this island alone, and Stella didn't need to babysit her grown granddaughter.

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We all moved up to the cottage and Stella started dinner. I don't know why I felt a need to do this, but I poured a glass of wine, put on a light raincoat, and walked up to where I had spent many days crying over the loss of my daughter. Lucy followed me and I laid down a blanket for us to sit on. When we were silently sitting and watching the ocean, I thought about the events that led me to this place. The birth of Sofia, losing her, and then burying her in this spot. I felt like I would never recover from that. I looked at her tombstone and read the name. Sofia Bethany Samuels. Then the quote I had engraved. Swim with the dolphins, my sweet girl.

And now she was. Would she always be out of my reach? I needed to decide if my searching for her was the right thing to do. My mother's heart screamed, Yes, find her! My head told me that maybe I should let her go.

Then I thought of Alex. He gave his life for her. I still ached, thinking of that moment. I still missed our times swimming in this cove, both hanging on to his boogie board, the board that I thought was to aid his swimming but was really so that I wouldn't see him below the surface. I recalled our many conversations, and then finding out what he was. I know Alex loved me. He also knew that it was impossible. How sad that he had to watch my blossoming relationship with Jake develop, knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could offer, except looking after Fia, loving Fia, and then dying for Fia. Did I owe it to him to let her go?

The sun was starting to set. I watched the colors start to spread across the sky and then bleed into the ocean. The water shimmered in different colors. I imagined Fia swimming with Selena…and…who? I didn't even know who her family was. Alex gone…Mom gone…

Sitting there for possibly the hundredth sunset, I made a decision. I would find Fia. I would find her and meet her family. All of them. Then I would decide whether to keep her or let her go. If I could have one more contact, then maybe…I could let her go.

CHAPTER 2

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T

he next morning, we packed up the boat and headed out to sea. The storm that kept me awake for most of the night had passed. The sea this morning was calm and the sun glistened on the water. I would never again look at the ocean with the same eyes now that I knew what lived there. So many different species. Many not yet discovered. Some…hopefully never discovered.

We were silent for most of the ride, and then, as we were nearing the last place we had seen them, I asked both Stella and Thomas, Do you think I should leave this alone and not look for her? Answer honestly.

They both silently stared at me. I could see they were choosing their words carefully. I said, I want an honest answer!

Stella finally spoke up. Yes, I think you should just trust them to take care of her and leave them alone.

I was stunned. I didn't expect her to be that honest.

But, Jilly, if you had asked me the same question about my daughter, your mom? I wouldn't have listened. There would have been nothing or no one that could have convinced me to do that. I understand.

Oh, Stella, I want to do the right thing by her. I know I should leave it alone. If I can be sure she will be OK, then maybe I can.

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We arrived, and as expected, no one responded to the whistle. As I sat waiting patiently, I studied our surroundings. It looked the same. The water was calmly making its way to the beach. The island was quiet, and I could see the palm trees swaying in the distance. The water was a beautiful deep blue, and as it got closer to shore it turned turquoise. The turquoise met the white powdery sand. It was paradise.

Then I said, Try again. And again, there was no response.

As the boat gently rocked with the movement of the water, I put on a snorkel mask and fins. With a silent glance toward Stella and Thomas, I jumped in to look around.

I was reminded about happier days, swimming with Mom, Fia, and Alex. I remembered Alex blowing air into my lungs and Selena watching with an unhappy look on her face. I remembered the times we spent underwater looking at all the sea life, and Fia being so joyful. Then that dreadful day when it all came crashing down. I wasn't finding anything here except painful memories. I needed help. It was time to call Jake.

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When I thought about calling Jake, my stomach did somersaults. Not for the usual reasons, but because I was afraid he was not going to be happy with me. Well, that was OK. He didn't have children, so he couldn't know what I was going through.

He answered on the first ring and didn't greet me with a hello. He answered with, God, I've missed you!

My response was, They are gone! Fia is gone, Jake, I need your help.

Slow down, Jilly! Tell me what is going on. Did you go back there?

I did! I had to see her. They just disappeared. I have to look for them and I need you to get me ready. I need to learn to scuba dive, and I know you can help me with that. We have to search nearby islands. I can't do that alone. Will you help me? I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't stop myself. I was desperate for him to understand.

He was silent for a minute.

Jake! Are you there?

I thought we had an agreement to stay away. To see if there was any suspicion toward us.

I did! It had been three months. How long was long enough?

I just couldn't do it anymore. Jake, there are people here snooping around and asking questions.

Then get out of there!

No, I think that will look too suspicious. We can't act like we didn't know him. They probably already know he stayed here with me. We knew we would be linked to him eventually. I can't keep avoiding that, and more importantly, I need to find Fia! Will you help me?

I could hear his breath on the other end of the line. I waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he blew out a frustrated sigh. Jilly, I don't think it's a good idea, but yes, I will help you.

Thank you! I love you, you know. It has been so hard to be away from you. Jake, it was so awful! Monique and Joe acted like they barely knew us. I hate this!

"I know, I do too! It will settle down. It just needs more time. Brian has been questioned a couple of times, but I think that has been settled. I heard the case had been closed. People