My Mother's Soldier

By Mary Elizabeth Bailey

A small girl asked to do the unthinkable and a God who sees her in the midst of it all.

My Mother's Soldier will take you on a horrific and chilling journey of a young girl and the terror that she faced when her mother asked her to do the unthinkable. It allows readers to walk every step of the way and feel the heart-pounding moments leadi

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647732097

Mary Elizabeth Bailey

From a small town girl in West Virginia to big city life in Charlotte, North Carolina. Life has been filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. From a tragic start to a journey filled with exciting opportunities. Overcoming breast cancer and becoming 2015 Business Person of the Year in Gaston County, North Carolina. I own and operate three uniform stores in North and South Carolina (Pinks Uniforms, www.charlotteuniforms.com). The business platform changed after my diagnosis of breast cancer in 2015, it gave me another blessing and opportunity in life to help and encourage women to get their mammograms. Foster care will always be my passion. So as a nurse, fur-baby mom, friend, and leader I try to always be available to talk and encourage individuals. I love sharing my story when the opportunity presents itself. We all have challenges and a positive word that can make all the difference in someone's life.

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My Mother’s Soldier

Mary Elizabeth Bailey

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2020 by Mary Elizabeth Bailey

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked NCV are taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission.Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

For information, address Trilogy Christian Publishing

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, Ca 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64773-208-0

ISBN 978-1-64773-209-7

Contents

Dedication v

Acknowledgements ix

Preface xii

Chapter 1. Hope & Healing 1

Chapter 2. Better Days 7

Chapter 3. Imaginary World 19

Chapter 4. The Move 29

Chapter 5. The Rat Trap 43

Chapter 6. The Last Weekend 53

Chapter 7. Final Moments 69

Chapter 8. Together Again 85

Chapter 9. The Trial 95

Chapter 10. A New Beginning 137

Chapter 11. College Life 149

Chapter 12. Parole Hearing 155

Chapter 13. Final Move 161

Chapter 14. Closing Doors 165

Chapter 15. A Life Defined 177

Epilogue 181

Dedication

I write this book for the little girl who needed healing and most importantly needed to forgive herself. This can be a very difficult process, but an intimate relationship with God (papa) is a must. There were and still are days that the struggle is real. The memories are raw and feel like this tragedy happened only moments ago...we are numbly caught in a time warp. Our heart raced, our vision blurred…but at that moment we fall to our knees and ask papa to take this burden because it is then we realize it is too heavy to carry alone.

I dedicate this journey, this book to each and every person facing challenges, heartache, and disappointments. To that person who is ready to give up, instead, I encourage you to rise up. Rise up and face the challenge. Find the David inside of you and take down the Goliath that is standing over you.

To the many children who find themselves in foster care. The fear of the unknown is scary. The emotions, tears, sadness, and the loss of the life you knew. I ask you to embrace those moments, dig deeper than you ever thought possible. This isn’t your fault; it may feel like it, but believe me when I tell you it is not your fault. I know you miss your mother and your father. It is innate in us to want to protect the only thing we know, and even through abuse and neglect we still seek to protect the very ones who inflict such pain. But remember this can be an opportunity for a new beginning.

For my brother(s) and sister, I am sorry for the heartache and pain. I only hope you find forgiveness in your hearts and let go of the past. Recreate a better life and future not only for yourself but for your children. Break the cycle…break the chains and be free. To the youngest brother, I loved you dearly; I am and always will be heartbroken that your life was cut short. I know you’re free and well.

Lastly, I dedicate this book to my sweet loving Grandmother. My love for you will live forever – though you did not. A part of me will always be missing until I see you again. I am sorry I wasn’t there the day you left this earth. But you took a piece of me with you, and you left some of you here with me. I have only one picture of you and me together. I cherish this more than you know. Remember the pennies I played with and you hid for me to find. I’m still finding them – at the most needed times you show up. Sometimes the penny is well-worn and I can barely see a date on it. Sometimes it’s fresh and new. I know what you’re saying to me every time I find one of these pennies from heaven. I hope you know how much you meant to me while here on this earth. I never really got to thank you for all you did to make life tolerable. After all, I was only 13 when you passed away. It is a day and a phone call I will never forget. You remembered me in your final days when dementia had taken all your memory of your children and life…still you ask about that little red-headed girl. She is here, you are there, and your memories are present within me.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank the Department of Health and Human Services for taking care of me and helping me with the transition into foster care. A special thanks to Jean Bulka and Jim Webber.

I want to thank the judge that presided over the tri-al. Your compassion and care for me was evident from day one. You made me feel comfortable in undoubtedly one of the worst situations I could have found myself. You listened to me, you allowed me to feel as though I had a voice. For that I thank you.

Thank you to each and every one of my foster care families, as well as my respite families. Your love and support made me the person I am today. I was fortunate enough to get a little piece of all of you. It’s like the song by Dolly Parton Coat of many colors I was loved and cared for. Thank you so much.

Thank you to the Guardian Ad Litem’s/CASA though I did not have the privilege of having someone such as this when I was in foster care. I see and view it as a wonderful privilege. I encourage anyone who has the time and wants to help and be a voice for these children to step up and volunteer. To all the many wonderful individuals, who do this day in and day out, Thank you. You are like angels to these children, and we can’t thank you enough.

I want to thank my teachers and my coaches. Many of you were good to me and understood my challenges. Some of you did not. That’s ok. For those individuals I choose forgiveness.

Calvin Sumner my childhood therapist. Thank you. You are a remarkable man; you helped me through some of those most difficult times in my life as a child. You pushed me to face my demons when I wanted to hide them away. You were patient and understanding. You encouraged me to cry, to talk, but most importantly you allowed me to be silent when there were no words… only pain. I will forever be grateful.

To my Pastor and his wife at Rock Cave Baptist Church in West Virginia. Thank you for taking the time to love me, and most importantly thank you for introducing me to God. This is the greatest of all gifts.

To a dear gentleman who entered my life, and read my story. Though your time with me was short it was powerful. I believe people enter our lives for many reasons and sometimes in this case for only a season. They come and go – but can leave a lasting impact on you. Your encouragement and belief in me were what I needed at the time to get where I am today. Thank you… and thank you for the pink ball…I will forever cherish that gift. It will always be a reminder to never look back.

My dear friends who know my story and who love and encourage me daily. Who see beyond the scars and love and cherish the women I am inside and out. Your kindness, the moments you cried with me, prayed for me, stood by me and encouraged me. You have no idea what that means.

My publishing company Trilogy Christian Publishing (a subsidiary of TBN) after many attempts and rejections at publishing, you saw a story that needed to be told. Thank you for believing in me. I pray we can change lives through this book. If we can save one, that’s one less tragedy in this cruel world.

Lastly and most importantly, I want to thank with every fiber of my being my heavenly Father. God, who would I be today without you? Where would I be? In my darkest days, you sat with me. You knew my needs with every tear that fell from my eyes. You knew my heart when I couldn’t find the words to speak. You knew me before I was ever born while I was in the womb you formed me. Your promised in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future You have done that and more. If I never received another single blessing I could leave this world a blessed and thankful soul. Your love for me has been remarkable and I have felt you with me all along my journey. Sometimes…many times actually. I have taken the wrong path, but even when I do your always ahead of me putting me back on the right path. You have never left me. Thank you, papa, thank you.

Preface

The book My Mother’s Soldier was written with great apprehension and emotional turmoil. My suppressed childhood memories were certain to reemerge, and the pain that accompanied the memories I loathed. I knew that writing this book would force me to face my devastating past and relive memories that I had buried deep within myself. This is the story of my childhood. A childhood filled with physical, mental, and emotional abuse that I suffered at the hands of my mother and step-father. A childhood that would eventually lead to child-exploitation beyond one’s comprehension. Many of the facts that are revealed in this book were unknown to me until I viewed the video footage of my mother’s murder trial. I was given the videotapes when I was sixteen years old, but the tapes would sit dormant in a small hope-chest for the next sixteen years of my life; never to be viewed by me or anyone else. Much of this book was written from information that came out during the trial, under sworn testimony, as well as my personal childhood memories.

As an adult, I realized that my story is not unique to just me. Many children suffer from child abuse and neglect around the world. Like me, many of them find themselves trapped in the foster-care system leading to a life of uncertainty, just as I did. Helping others to overcome adversity and realize that they are not alone is my ultimate goal. My life has been difficult, but put-ting faith in God allowed me the opportunity to thrive, as well as the will-power to survive. This is a powerful and inspiring story that will bewilder readers and leave them searching their hearts and minds for understanding, as well as a renewed faith in hope and determination. My hope is that my story will give readers the faith and courage to rise above the turmoil that infiltrates their lives and move forward with their lives regardless of their circumstances. If telling my story to the world inspires just one person to maintain hope and faith, then the pain and suffering associated with revealing my past will have been a rewarding endeavor.

While this book My Mother’s Soldier encompasses my story of childhood abuse and neglect, the book also de-tails the part of my tragic childhood that I share with so many foster children such as adult-life without parents, family, or a place to call home. The child abuse and neglect I experienced as a young child I have managed to overcome; however, the struggles of life without a family have been my biggest challenge. I have found peace and solace in this area since writing this book. Through my journey, I have reconnected with a few people that loved me when I was a child, and still love me to this day.