The Day The World Sneezed: March 12, 2020

By Eddie Jones

During the summer of 2020 one man traveled miles... to a forgotten people... to save a nation... and honor his wife.

The Day The World Sneezed begins at the start of "the great sickness" in the U.S. and chronicles the first few weeks of the outbreak through the eyes of Elmer, a widower who avoids tech

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dry Bones Publishing
• Release date: Apr 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781938499418

Eddie Jones

Eddie is an award-winning author of YA fiction. Father of two boys, he's also a pirate at heart who loves to surf. An avid sailor with a great sense of humor, Eddie has been married to a girl he met at a stoplight in West Palm Beach during spring break a long, long time ago in a Ford Galaxy far, far away. His Caribbean Chronicles series is a humorous time-travel pirate fantasy adventure series. Eddie's Caden Chronicles series is wholesome, humorous reading built around supernatural mysteries.Awards for Eddie's novels:* Winner (multiple times) of the Selah award for tween / teen YA fiction* INSPY Award* Moonbeam Children's Book Award

Book preview

cover-image, The Day The World Sneezed

The Day

The World Sneezed

March 12, 2020

THE DAY THE WORLD SNEEZED BY EDDIE JONES

Dry Bones Publishing

2333 Barton Oaks Dr. Raleigh, NC 27614

ISBN: 978-1938499364

Copyright © 2020 by Eddie Jones

Available in print from your local bookstore and online booksellers.

For more information on this book and the author visit: EddieJones.org

All rights reserved. Noncommercial interests may reproduce portions of this book without the express written permission of Dry Bones Publishing, provided the text does not exceed 500 words. When reproducing text from this book, include the following credit line: "The Day The World Sneezed by author Eddie Jones published by Dry Bones Publishing. Used by permission."

Commercial interests: No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by the United States of America copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are all products of the author's warped imagination or are used for fictional purposes. Any mentioned brand names, places, and trademarks remain the property of their respective owners, bear no association with the author or the publisher, and are used for fictional purposes only.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Jones, Eddie.

The Day The World Sneezed / Eddie Jones 1st ed.

Printed in the United States of America

Thursday, March 12. 2020 4:53 p.m.

Thursday, March 12, 2020 5:23 p.m.

Friday, March 13, 2020 6:49 a.m.

Saturday, March 14, 2020 7:14 a.m.

Saturday, March 14, 2020 10:27 a.m.

Saturday, March 14, 2020 10:53 a.m.

Saturday, March 14, 2020 1:45 p.m.

Saturday, March 14, 2020 6:12 p.m.

Sunday, March 15, 2020  6:18 a.m.

Sunday, March 15, 2020  6:27 a.m.

Sunday, March 15, 2020 4:09 p.m.

Monday, March 16 11:04 a.m.

Monday, March 16 2:15 p.m.

Monday, March 16 3:36 p.m.

Monday, March 16 3:56 p.m.

Tuesday, March 17 7:16 a.m.

Tuesday, March 17 11:16 a.m.

Tuesday, March 20 1:46 p.m.

Tuesday, March 31 10:00 a.m.

Wednesday, April 1 9:00 a.m.

Wednesday, April 1 10:46 a.m.

Sunday, April 5 7:56 p.m.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my cousin Ricky who practiced the art of social distancing long before it became a thing.

Stay safe!

Stay away!

Thursday, March 12. 2020

4:53 p.m.

On the day the man from the Bureau of Land Management came to his farm, Elmer was out back of his house in the barn banging on a plow. Elmer heard the phone ringing in the house, but felt no urge to hurry. He'd never found the need to get a phone you could carry, though his wife Edith once bought one. She'd chat on it for hours to people Elmer didn't know, which was fine by him, because if Edith was talking on her phone she wasn't talking to Elmer. Then Edith died. Elmer buried the little phone with her.

Banging on the front door of Elmer's home interrupted the phone's ringing. For a man who lived alone and seldom received company, Elmer felt put upon by the sudden intrusions.

Because the barn was set back a good ways, Elmer knew he'd never get to the phone or front door in time. He continued to bang on the plow while taking short breaks to read about a combine harvester that worked by remote control -- a thing that fascinated Elmer.

Then came a knock on his barn door. Elmer wiped grease from his hands with two hand wipes from a box he kept in the barn for just such occasions.

Stepping out, Elmer eyed the man suspiciously. With the sun setting in the west behind him, Elmer got a good look at the fellow. Oily hair, skin the color of lard … a faint, brown stain of sweat along the inside of the collar of his white shirt.

Hep ya?

I'm Mr. Ricks with the Bureau of Land Management. Got a minute to talk?

Elmer knew the man was lying. Elmer's third cousin, Malcolm, worked for the Bureau of Land Management. If someone were coming to see Elmer, Malcolm would've called. Then again, the phone had been ringing -- and more than once.

'Bout what?

I heard you're stockpiling Lysol. Thought we should talk about that.

Got some lye soap, said Elmer.

No, this would be Lysol I’m asking about. Used to clean things.

Mix water with lye soap and it cleans pretty good.

So, no Lysol, then?

Elmer shifted his gaze past the man towards the white Ford pickup parked next to the side porch door: enclosed bed truck cover, lime-green stripe down its side with a BLM Fire logo on the driver’s door … emergency light bar on cab roof. A hefty-looking vehicle for a social visit, Elmer thought.

If I was to come across some, what’d it be worth to you?

Depends. A case? said the Bureau man. Maybe, say, a hundred.

Elmer did the math. This took a bit. He wasn’t exactly sure what he’d been paying for a gallon of Lysol, but he was pretty sure a case wasn’t anywhere close to a hundred dollars. Which meant if the Bureau man was offering one hundred, it was worth twice that. Maybe twice that again.

Come across some, there a way I can contact you?

The Bureau man offered Elmer a card. Text me.

Elmer studied the card. P. Ricks: Bureau of Land Management. There was a number, but no address. You say I should write you a letter to this number if I want to get in touch?

No, text me at that number.

Elmer nodded and put the card in his hip pocket. He had no intention of contacting Mr. P. Ricks and so no interest in learning what in the blue blazes the man meant by texting.

That number on the card, said the Bureau man, you find some Lysol, let me know.

If there was one thing Elmer had learned in his years of farming and paying taxes and obeying the law, it was this: if the government thought you had something they wanted, they’d come get it. And they’d keep coming until they had all you’d ever worked for.

I’ll surely do that if I come across some. Elmer made a mental note of the day and date the man from the Bureau of Land Management visited his farm: Thursday, March 12, 2020. It was a day and date he would remember for the rest of his life.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

5:23 p.m.

The Lysol and hand wipes were Edith’s idea. For years she’d driven their truck into town to pick up Elmer’s cleaning supplies for the slaughterhouse, but one day Edith came home and said, Enough. I’m done toting your stuff to the truck. Elmer knew enough to know that once a thing got fixed in his wife’s head, all discussion ended. There would be no more cleaning supplies for the slaughterhouse unless Elmer fetched them himself: which he had no plans to do.

Things inside the slaughterhouse went from rank to putrid. Elmer began asking his neighbors if they’d do the killing for him. For a small fee, of course, his neighbor had said. Elmer didn’t like asking his neighbor for help, but he hated driving to town for cleaning supplies even more. Mainly Elmer hated people wanting to stop and talk to him. Time was money and at his age he didn’t have much time left.

Then one day two boxes with smiley faces on them arrived on the front porch. Elmer peeked inside one and found a whole case of Lysol. In the other were hand wipes. He hauled them out to the barn and set to work giving the slaughterhouse a thorough cleaning.

From that day on, at almost the same time each month, two boxes of cleaning supplies would arrive. Soon Elmer had more supplies than energy to clean. Once he asked Edith about the two boxes that arrived each month on their porch. She simply smiled and shrugged, which was her way of letting Elmer know she’d taken care of something he refused to do himself.

When Edith died Elmer thought about inquiring at the bank as to how to stop the shipments. He figured if anyone