FLIP Your Journey to Freedom: Mindful Decision Making: Learning the Skills to Free Your Mind

By Bruce Molloy

When the only way is up, risk-averse Bruce challenges himself most originally, to live his life by the Fl!p of a coin for a year.

Faced with homelessness, no job, and fresh out of a 20 year relationship, risk-averse Bruce Molloy decides to put his fate in the hands of a coin. For one year, Bruce commits to making decisions

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bruce Molloy
• Release date: Feb 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9780648766902

Bruce Molloy

Bruce Molloy is a writer, coach and trainer whose career began with graphic design, commercial photography and web design. His passion for community development and the environment led him to develop a permaculture consultancy where he inspired thousands through educational programs for residents, schools, and communities. This work evolved into establishing one of Australia's first combined permaculture and horticultural therapy gardens, where he developed and implemented outdoor, healing programs for minority groups, and people who have a disability and mental illness. Living between Australia and Indonesia, he fulfils his passion as a scuba diving instructor and photographer, alongside his coaching services with retreats and workshops. He offers training, and development based on the principles of his first book, FL!P Your Journey to Freedom. Mindful Decision Making: Learning the Skills to Free Your Mind.

Book preview

FLIP

Your Journey to Freedom

Mindful Decision Making:

Learning the Skills to Free Your Mind

Bruce Molloy

www.flipyourjourney.com

Copyright © 2020 Bruce Molloy.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, email to the author—Subject: Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

ISBN: 978-0-6487669-0-2 (eBook)

First edition 2020

www.flipyourjourney.com

[e-mail]

Instagram @flipyourjourney

www.facebook.com/flipyourjourney

Table of Contents

Section One

Introduction

The Fl!p Challenge

The Abyss Fl!p

Ancient Lands and Sunrise Tributes

So Much Fl!pping Choice

Faulty Wiring and Shitty Flatmates

Make up your Fl!ppin’ Mind

Running on Empty

Broome or Bust

Kimberley Croc

Good Light in Broome

Camel Butt

Southward Bound

Go-Kart with Wings

Learning to Fly

Section Two

Welcome!

Cupboards Full of Crap

Letting Go

The Basics of Commitment, not Attachment

The Paradox of Choice

Questions and Commitment

Committed, Not Attached, in Practice

Have You Got the Guts?

Fl!pping Finished … Not!

Section Three

Let’s Get Fl!pping

Fl!pping Your Coin

Fl!pping Extras

For Further Reading

bruce

Bruce Molloy is a writer, coach and trainer whose career began with graphic design, commercial photography and web design. His passion for community development and the environment led him to develop a permaculture consultancy company where he inspired thousands through educational programs for residents, schools, and communities. This work evolved into establishing one of Australia’s first combined permaculture and horticultural therapy gardens, where he developed and implemented outdoor, healing programs for minority groups, and people who have a disability and mental illness. Living between Australia and Indonesia, he fulfils his passion as a scuba diving instructor and photographer, alongside his coaching services with retreats and workshops.

To my family in Australia

and friends in Indonesia.

Section One

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Introduction

People starting on journeys of self-discovery have always puzzled me, and those finishing these journeys intrigued me. Understanding what led individuals to the point of needing to explore everything at a deeper, more profound level was challenging. I was sceptical, and to be honest, I realised it was a lot of hard work. Everywhere I looked someone had been on a journey, and I never thought it would be me. In the most well-intentioned and unembellished way, I’d thought of people on the road to ‘self-discovery’ in a ‘them’ and ‘us’ perspective. And I had most definitely placed myself in the ‘us’ camp. But that was before life propelled me into an abyss.

Like many, I’d started to find the metaphoric use of the word journey an irritating cliché: overused and watered down. But that was before embarking on my road to discovery and overcoming the challenges and valuable lessons I had learnt. And mine became a journey with an unexpected turn of events, a life-changer that Fl!pped my reality. My world turned upside down. I began to realise that the path to personal growth is not the easiest path to take, but is the most rewarding.

My journey started when my life changed, and, like a bolt from the blue, I faced the dreaded situation of being left with nothing. So, my journey was unplanned. And having been uninvited, I didn’t approach the situation in the way I expected. I took a different path from the norm. And not just a metaphoric path: I journeyed throughout Australia, to Indonesia, all on the Fl!p-of-a-coin. I surrendered my decision making for a year to a ‘YES’ or a ‘NO’ Fl!p, making my way from unforeseen homelessness to a mind-blowing dream job and meaningful life in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

I’d swapped my everyday existence for a life on the road. Along with my trusty camper, some unlikely travelling companions, and a swag of crap to wade through, I flew by the seat of my pants. As a self-proclaimed introvert and ruminator, I surrendered my pondering and hesitation in decision-making to the good-old-fashioned method of coin Fl!pping.

Fl!pping as a method of selecting and choosing is ancient, used across the world for many occasions involving choice - most notably in sport. At the start of my journey, I saw no real reason why it should work for me or if it was a good idea. However, when life is at rock bottom the only way is up. With a bloody great hole to climb out of, and once on the level, a mountain of crap to overcome, it was never going to be easy. But with my father’s spirit and the ancestors of this ancient land as my inspiration and loyal companions, I challenged myself. I would have twelve months to discover my new life through the Fl!pping process! So, for me, it was Fl!p or Flop, and I was ready for the challenge.

Forward eighteen months to an enterprising business conference. This was where my unintentional Fl!pping show first took place in a room full of colleagues. To my surprise, my Fl!pping story intrigued these dynamic and ambitious leaders, who listened with interest to my tale of gaining freedom and opportunity. There is a massive interest in the over-40s in giving up everything and travelling the globe. There are tons of books, blogs, stories, and journeys all devoted to the subject. Some say travel is about self-discovery, where others say it’s about how you escape. Well-read writers claim, first, that you must find yourself, then travel. I say:

‘If you have no frigging choice, grab yourself a coin, and live in your camper-van. When you’ve lost everything around you, surrender, believe, and figure out the details later’.

And it was this journey that attracted my colleagues’ interest. And let’s face it, the geographical route was unremarkable by today’s standards. However, no one had come across a guy who surrendered his future to the toss of a coin and turned his life around in the process. And once I stood on the proverbial soapbox, my story began.

Fl!p is the story of a journey. It is my journey and one I have travelled for at least the last eighteen months. I say at least, because all credible journeys, like a story, should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s one question I get asked. A lot, but I feel mine is yet to end. So yes, I’ve been on a journey and one that is both metaphorical and tangible.

In this the book, I have presented my journey to you in three distinct sections.

Section One, my memoir, tells of the path I took to quieten my mind and release myself from long-held beliefs that govern decision making and choice. To understand my journey, I show the process and explain how I refined it, using a coin to Fl!p and decide. My experiences show how, once we are brave enough to detach ourselves from an outcome, life can throw some incredible opportunities and adventures our way.

The second section of the book explores the methodology, linking it to what we call the Paradox of Choice, Surrendering, Analysis Paralysis, and other psychological processes.

Section Three outlines the Fl!pping process in the form of instructions. If you want to get Fl!pping, I recommend you read Section Three first. Like most new things, it’ll take time before you master the Fl!p, but once you do, you’ll feel free and released from the dogma of decision making.

As I said, my journey is one of discovery using an unorthodox, and some would say ‘kooky’ method of deciding. It’s been a journey of self-development, unearthing, surrendering, and letting go. A dynamic, cathartic, liberating journey: fun, scary, and overwhelming. I have forged my path and travelled my journey off the beaten track. At times, it has been lonely, nostalgic, hectic, contemplative, and extraordinary. Accompanied by some unwelcome travel companions, it has forced me to delve into the depths of consciousness and awareness, yet take on new strategies to quiet an introverted mind.

Whatever your reason for joining me in my story, welcome. I invite you to sit back, enjoy the view, and please hitch a ride or get out and push. The choice is yours. For me and many others, my Fl!pping path and approach are exciting and fulfilling. Are they for you? Well, you decide!

Chapter 1

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The Fl!p Challenge

In so many ways, I was the most improbable candidate to attend a digital-nomad conference for two main reasons. Unlike most of the delegates, I was far from being a millennial. I’m from Australia and of a certain age, which is nothing more than code for hitting 50! As my colleagues were hatching, I was headbanging to AC/DC. I lacked the modern hipster style that so many of my fellow entrepreneurs possessed, and I also lacked a man-bun and the bonza beard! Not that this excused me, because there are some first-rate beards out there on guys years older than me. And we all know, age is no excuse for lack of effort. But I guess I was just finding my feet again as I re-entered the world of corporate talk, and ‘blue-sky thinking’! Also, I’d lived in a tin can for just a little too long, with nothing but a crocs skull to keep me company. And a coin to Fl!p when required … Oh, and an unwanted couple of travelling companions!

Predating the groomed beard, but not the comb in the back pocket, I was more than familiar with the format of these conferences, the sharing of ideas, and the camaraderie. Although open and friendly, my younger delegates’ youth, dress style, and interminable ‘fizz’ had until recently made me feel alienated. But the problem here had lain with me, not them. Who knows, maybe if I’d grown up in a world of bromances, I would have been less of a solitarian up to this point in my life. But of late, this was one more musing that no longer irked. For sure, it was one I did not feel the need to hide. What the hell! Because I better understand, I no longer give a toss, and this is liberating.

Since my Fl!pping journey, I no longer hold the same worries because I’d learnt how to quieten the shit in my mind. You know the stuff that goes around, and around, without getting anywhere. Usually, I’m the guy who sits at the back. The one with the thermos and a packed lunch - and that is OK. Because my number-one reason for being at a conference was to listen, I love to listen. But this specific conference marked the start of my professional transformation. My status changed, just a little. I could feel a small ripple of interest in the guy with no beard and the cheese sandwiches. All because of the journey I’d travelled and the transformations that occurred.

Thanks to my millennial audience, the idea for my Fl!p book began at this get-together. As is often the case when high-flying CEOs and managers meet, they were discussing how their companies turn over six-to-seven figures. We’d broken off into groups. During a small master-class workshop, we began to play the CEO-equivalent game of Show and Tell. The one where ‘trade secrets’ of success get shared, networks made, and bonds forged with urban handshakes, man hugs and ‘bro’ talk. (I’m sure there’s a female version, but I’m not privy to these inner workings.) And credit where it’s due. These people knew their stuff. They were successful in the world of business, and they strategise every conquest.

By consensus, the first step toward creating a successful business was … to start!! That’s right, and a little disappointing, I agree. But the entrepreneurs decided you must get in there and start your business. Because so many people don’t. They have the idea and talk a lot, but nothing materialises. Then make sure it’s followed up by sharing the story behind the product. Everyone loves a story. Okay, so this formula was good news for me on one score. I had an engaging story, but I had no product. Anyway, I shared my journey over the past 18 months with them - my story.

Most people have heard the phrase ‘flip of a coin’ knowing the saying refers to a random decision-making process. Many people have taken part in this process: when deciding who shouts the next round of drinks or which sports team gets to start the match. Few people engage in coin-flipping as a method of determining their future, their journey. However, throughout my journey, I did, and Fl!pping guided me. Whenever I faced a decision that I was not committed to, I would Fl!p a coin and follow the conclusion … without question! Well, almost always without question. Something extraordinary began to happen:

The more I Fl!pped, the freer I became.

So, here I was.