Wisdom Is A Journey

By Marlene C Holayter

When confronted by an existential crisis,

noted educator Marlene C. Holayter is drawn into a

journey of personal discovery. As she approaches

• Language: English
• Publisher: MSL
• Release date: Apr 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9781087947259

Book preview

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Wisdom is a JourNey

Marlene C. Holayter

published by

Montana

SkyLodge

Copyright

Dr. Holayter

Montana SkyLodge

P.O. Box 570

Butte, MT 59703-0570

For more information go to: www.marlenecholayter.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

The names of individuals and identifying details cited in this book have been changed to protect their privacy.

Wisdom is a Journey

Copyright © 2021 by Marlene C. Holayter

ISBN: 978-1-0879-4959-8 (trade paper)

ISBN: 978-1-0879-4725-9 (ebook)

Cover photo is taken on the Road to Wisdom, Montana.

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all of my loving family with unlimited gratitude.

To my ancestors who came before and shared their stories,

To those living who gave generously of themselves by sharing their stories,

To all who helped me with this book: family, friends, colleagues, mentors and elders,

Lastly, to all those yet to come, that may they share our lessons of life and stories.

WISDOM IS A JOURNEY

with many paths and roads

We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.

—Marcel Proust

Searching for meaning has been a quest since the beginning of time. Philosophers and many others have pondered life questions for centuries including, mystics and holy men searching for answers. And, books continue to be written as the search continues. The purpose of this book is for those who want to explore living life to the fullest and finding your path. It is not about dying, but finding each step towards living a fulfilling life and exploring the wisdom of others.

Some life lessons come early in life, others are sprinkled throughout our lifetime, and those years come with critical moments if we are paying attention. A decade ago, in 2004, a pause took place in my life making me stand back and find time to follow a new direction and think about my life. A roadmap was unfolding and a path was waiting for me to explore and find a new direction. Something beckoned me to go back home and search what I thought was missing in my life and find unanswered questions. Soon I was standing high on a mountain in the Rockies, with exhilaration by finding a greater sense of clarity than I had felt in a long time. It wasn’t hard to step off the roller coaster of my life and just soak up nature and discover what it had to offer. Something took me there, to follow what was ahead, a time to be serious about exploring this part of my life and dreams. It became a time of reckoning and reconnecting.

There was something about that spot where I landed in search for answers, it held a sense of serenity not felt before in my life tied to this place in nature. Somehow a dream was emerging, and it unfolded step by step. Somehow, for me this land was unique and I needed to offer this experience to others. The direction became clear as I began the process of envisioning a retreat, a special place where people could come to; reflect, get away from the busyness of life, commune with nature and find time to pause. It was not an easy journey in some ways, but exhilarating in many ways.

Another gift along the way was the timing of my arrival and just in the nick of time, I reached out to reconnect with people who knew me as a child and some who knew my parents. Since then, many are now gone, their voices are only a memory. Yet, I cherish what I learned from them and the nudge to explore and contemplate my own life’s journey, erase some false beliefs, and realize how quickly life goes by in a lifetime. I remember reading, life is like a flash of lightning in the spectrum of time, and the older I get the more I understand. Life is such an ever changing and quick progression from moment to moment, day to day, decade to decade. Often it seems we don’t take the time to listen, and really think about the road we are on, nor question if it is the right road to fully experience why we are here.

As I looked back over my life while searching for answers, I realized there were times or forces in my life that left an impact on me. Some were major and some just happened in certain phases. I paused to think if I had learned anything from those impacts or events. One held a special place - studying Cultural Anthropology. It opened my thinking beyond a world I knew or had experienced. Immediately, I began questioning the ways of my life, what I was taught, and what I knew. Critical in many cultures have been the role of elders and their important lessons shared in many cultures. Their stories were often permeated with life examples and stories of their people. Those stories were used to teach children, young, and older adults, about life and to share the trials and tribulations of life. Often those lessons and life stories were shared around a campfire with everyone listening and children on the knee of a grandparent. Or maybe the stories took place on a walk with a grandparent to a sacred place to share what they remembered from their elders. Now, in this fast-paced world, many of those stories that were meant to be handed down are still held by elders to be shared, but often no one is listening.

Reflecting on that experience from those who had shared their stories of my heritage, my family, and familiar ways of life and with my recent questions, I began researching and contemplating what was missing in life. It felt like I was on the verge of something. A colleague and I came up with a set of questions to use as part of an interview process to find answers to some life questions. My mission was to interview 100 people and write a book based upon the collection of those 100 interviews. The age range was within 50 to 100 years of age. The purpose was to gather life stories and responses to the set of questions, as a means to learn what people in that age range were thinking about, and what they would be willing to tell others about living life. As a career educator, I had spent my life trying to find answers to teach others so they could reach their full potential so, this quest seemed familiar. It wasn’t just about me, surely others had similar questions. I remember thinking that I wished I had this knowledge when I was younger.

Realizing time moves so quickly, I felt an urgency to find those answers now! I was nearing retirement age and wanted answers to my many unanswered questions about maneuvering the rest of my life. The more I came in contact with those interviewed, the more passionate I became about the project and respect I felt about those I had interviewed; they were real people. We had intimate and open conversations, some casual meetings, and just chats over coffee.

Now you can a read their life stories and words of wisdom from this rich and varied group of people who are sharing their experiences with you, the reader. Whether you are young or older, you will find some insight about life. Perhaps you will learn and ask questions from them and just maybe, their wisdom cannot only enrich your life, but give you some guidance, and perhaps avoid some pitfalls. Or as Proust said, Our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.

chapter One

Life Lessons from My Father

As the plane descended from the clouds; a glimpse of the Rocky Mountains emerged just before the sky turned to darkness. When coming into this specific destination, my inner voice reminds me that this is one of the most beautiful places to fly into at night. Butte, Montana is like a jewelry box with all the multicolored city lights shimmering on the black velvet of night. Emotions flared inside me as I glanced at the town below, while feelings of uncertainty crept up on me. A half-century ago, at age seventeen, I left this place where I was born. I simply packed my car and filled it with dreams, not understanding the consequences as I said, Goodbye! Now, fifty years later, it would be another final goodbye as we bury my father in our family plot.

Dad kept memories alive with shared cherished facts and stories about his Italian family and their experiences. My mind tries to remember all the stories he shared about his immigrant family and others coming to America and surviving. He told me stories how many came. When they left Italy, they were carpenters, butchers, wine makers, farmers, shoemakers, barbers, and soon they became miners. Many were dreamers and in ten years had opened their own businesses. He painted my family as resilient people who came to America for a better life but brought with them their ways of living from the old country. They made their wines and cooked Italian foods from the Piedmont area in Northern Italy.

My mother and father met and were married in this small community of Italians that held tightly to their cultural ways located just outside of Butte. Their immigrant parents were from small villages only an hour apart in the same region of Italy and shared cultural similarities. They became active members of the small Italian community and thriving uptown. Similar enclaves based on ethnicity and wealth were founded all over the area. When people came to America at the turn of the century, the population in Butte was over 100,000. It was a vibrant place with many immigrants, mainly from European countries.

Butte is still scarred with large scaffolding across the landscape marking where mines were operating. The toxic environment still haunts the water and ground. I vividly remember as a child hearing the mining sounds that were active day and night. And the constant fear of when bells kept ringing - signaling an accident in a mine.

Miners went in cages down deep into the ground to bring out the ore, never knowing